


Are You Happy Now? Part 1

by areyouhappynowhanfic, unexpectedbeautifulfanfic



Series: Are You Happy Now? [1]
Category: Hanson (Band), M2M (Band), Michelle Branch (Musician), Phantom Planet
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, F/M, Fan Characters, M/M, Teenage Drama, Teenage Parents, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-12-18 17:45:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 140,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11879613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouhappynowhanfic/pseuds/areyouhappynowhanfic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/unexpectedbeautifulfanfic/pseuds/unexpectedbeautifulfanfic
Summary: Michelle Branch, an up-and-coming young musician, gets the opportunity to be the opening act on tour with popular pop-rock band Hanson. She is especially drawn to their lead singer, Taylor. Will these two be able to make it work or will forces beyond their control tear them apart?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Hansonish.com, HansonStage.com, Tonya Adams and PlaceToHide.net

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>   
> 

Edit: (8/14/17: This story is finished. 

A letter from the authors/disclaimer

This story is finished. There is a Part 2 as well, which will take place in present day.

This story was written for entertainment only and not for profit.

Our story is both fact and fiction. Some of the characters are real people, some aren't. The people, places and some events are real, however what happens isn't necessarily. 

There have always been and still are are so many rumors surrounding Hanson. This story is not an attempt to "set the record straight." We do not claim to know what happened. We can only speculate.

The primary relationships in this story include (in order of importance/appearance):

Part 1: Taylor/Michelle Branch, Isaac/Marit Larsen, Zac/Marion Raven, Zac/Kate, Taylor/Natalie, Taylor/Alex Greenwald

Part 2: Taylor/Natalie, Taylor/Michelle Branch, Michelle Branch/Teddy, Zac/Kate, Isaac/Nikki

This story is not entirely canon, some dates and details have been changed for the story's sake.

And lastly, if you are reading, let us know what you think.

Many, many thanks to: Liz (fuckyeahhansonfamily.tumblr.com), HansonStage.com, Tonya Adams, Bethany (PlaceToHide.net), and of course, Hanson whom inspired us to write this story.

Sincerely,

Becky and Natali


	2. Prolouge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalie and Kate attend the Atlanta show on the Albertane tour.

  
-  
Georgia, I'll be chasing you the rest of my life  
Georgia, welcome to the roller coaster ride  
-  


July 5 1998

Atlanta, Georgia

The girls were practically giddy with anticipation. That evening, the two would be sitting on their seats in the Coca-Cola Lakewood Amphitheatre, watching their favorite band take the stage.

Well, technically, Hanson was Kate's favorite band. Natalie was more tagging along to keep Kate company. It wasn't that Natalie disliked Hanson - quite the opposite, in fact she thought the middle one, the lead singer, was about the cutest boy she'd ever seen - but it was Kate, her best friend, who was the real fan. Her room was plastered with centerfolds of the band. Since earlier that year, May to be exact, Kate spoke of barely anything else. It was Hanson this, and Hanson that. Sometimes it drove Natalie a bit crazy, actually. But Kate had always been the alpha in their friendship, so whatever Kate wanted Kate got. Natalie was more than willing to accompany her friend to the concert if if that's what it took to make Kate happy. Kate and Natalie had met in junior high, and had been inseparable ever since. They were both attended Northgate High School in Atlanta. They were currently age 15, and couldn't be more excited to move on to being sophomores in the fall.

That Sunday had started just like any other day. Natalie had slept over at Kate's as she often did on the weekends, and the two had slept in. Around noon they padded downstairs, bleary-eyed, rubbing their eyes and mumbled "hellos" as they sat down at the kitchen table.

"Good morning, girls. Did you sleep well?" Becky, Kate's mother, asked as she poured them each a glass of orange juice. Natalie pushed hers away.

"I'm on a diet." She announced. Becky frowned, and sat down herself.

"Now honey, you don't need to lose weight. You're too young to be on a diet."

Natalie didn't say anything, and picked at her toast.

Becky decided to change gears after seeing that Natalie was not going to answer.

"Kathryn, honey, did you tell Natalie she needed to go on a diet?"

"Of course not, Mom." Kate said, shoving a piece of toast in her mouth and washing it down with her glass of orange juice. "Why would I say that?" she mumbled through a mouthful of food.

Becky grimaced. "Shut your mouth when you chew, honey. I don't know. Girls your age...I know it can be rough out there."

Kate just shrugged. "Whatever, Mom. Natalie can do what she wants."

"I just worry, that's all."

Natalie rolled her eyes, not liking to be the center of attention. "Okay, look, see? I'm eating some eggs." She made a point of taking a big bite, chewed carefully, swallowed, then smiled lavishly. "See? I'm not like, anorexic or anything."

Sally smiled. "Okay, honey. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"ANYWAY," interrupted Kate, bored with discussing her best friend's eating habits. "Guess what today is, Mom?"

"What, honey?" Becky replied distractedly, already engrossed in the morning newspaper, her eyes narrowed at the latest bad news going on in the world. She shook her head and whistled.

Kate looked at her mother expectantly.

"Mom!" she whined. "Are you listening?"

"Yes, honey." Becky said, taking a sip of her coffee, not looking up from her newspaper.

Irritated, but her good mood not ruined by her mother's inattention, Kate continued in a perky voice, "Today is the day we see HANSON!" she practically squealed.

"We can't wait." Natalie agreed, nodding her head vigorously in agreement, her eggs forgotten. "I'm coming to keep Kate company." she added.

"I didn't know you liked the Hanson's too, honey." Becky said, finally putting down her newspaper and looking at Natalie.

"It's Hanson, Mom." Kate sighed. "And she likes them too. She just won't admit it."

Natalie rolled her eyes again. "As if. They're okay. Not my type, really."

Kate laughed gaily. She had a unique laugh. It had a musical ring to it. Natalie had always been jealous if it. Hers was more high-pitched, not as pleasant. She was self conscious about it. In fact, Natalie was jealous of a lot about Kate - she was prettier, thinner and more popular. But Natalie tried not to let it bother her. Though Kate could be bossy, she was sweet and humble, and a great friend. Natalie felt lucky to have her in her life.

"Whatever. Yeah right. They're every girl's type." Kate replied matter-of-factly.

Becky smiled and got up, clearing plates away. "Well, I hope you two girls have fun. Do you need a ride?"

Kate shook her head. "No thanks. Pam is driving us."

"Okay, dear, well...well, tell her I said hi, and I expect to hear all about it tonight." She said as she put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Will do, Mom!" Kate chirped as she got up, dragging Natalie out of her seat. "Come on! We have to get ready!"

"Katy, it's only 11:30am. The concert is at 7:00pm." Natalie said pointedly. She had been looking forward to spending some time reading this afternoon. But that didn't look like it was Kate's agenda. Sometimes she called Kate Katy, which is what she used to go by. Lately, though, since she'd been a teenager, Kate had preferred "Kate" because she thought it sounded more grown-up.

"What's your point?" Kate asked pointedly, face blank.

Natalie sighed. "No point."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Kate asked, as she dragged Natalie out the kitchen door and up the stairs back to her room.

\---

After what felt like hours to Natalie, they were finally ready to leave for the concert. Natalie had spent the better part of the afternoon being poked and prodded - Kate had curled her hair, applied makeup, and insisted she wear some of her clothing. Natalie studied herself in the mirror. She frowned.

"What?" Kate asked, coming behind her friend and looking over her shoulder at her through the mirror. "You look hot, girl! Like a Spice Girl!"

Natalie rolled her eyes. "I guess."

The short leather miniskirt and sheer pink mesh top, paired with Sketchers platforms looked off to Natalie. She felt self-conscious, but knew better than to argue with Kate. She would just have to grin and bear it.

Kate wanted to arrive at the arena at 5pm, when the gates opened. Natalie wasn't sure why - their seats weren't general admission, so it wasn't like they could get closer to the stage. Natalie didn't know why Kate would want to sit in their seats or two extra hours waiting. But she didn't argue. She'd learned long ago there was no use arguing with Kate.

Kate always got what she wanted. Always.

Natalie was trying to fit her feet into a pair of Kate's size 6 platform sneakers when she heard a car honk outside.

"That must be your Mom!" Kate chirped.

The two girls grabbed their purses and headed down the stairs.

\---

The Coca-Cola arena, where the concert was to take place, was located south of downtown Atlanta. Traffic was bad that day, and it took almost an hour to drive there. The girls were antsy, eager to get to the venue.

"Katy, honey, how did you girls get these tickets again?" Pam, Natalie's Mom, asked conversationally as she weaved through Atlanta's traffic.

"On the radio." Kate replied, smugly, proud of herself. "I had to call in so many times, but I finally won. And it's Kate."

Natalie sat back and sighed as she listened to her Mom and her best friend chat. The truth was, she didn't really want to go to the concert. It's not that she didn't like Hanson, she'd just never been to a concert before, and didn't know what to expect. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She felt uncomfortable in the outfit Kate had chosen for her. It just wasn't how Natalie usually dressed. Natalie was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, while Kate was a dress and heels type. Natalie looked out the window, lost in thought. She figured she'd best make the best of it. Maybe it'd be fun.

After what seemed like forever, but was, in reality about an hour, they arrived at the Coca Cola arena. Pam pulled the car over and turned over in her seat, smiling at the girls.

"We're here, girls! Have a nice time. Be safe. I'll see you at 10pm right here in the same spot."

The girls excitedly got out of the car, waving at Pam as she merged back into traffic. Kate turned and spread her hands wide, a big smile on her face.

"FINALLY! We're here! Hanson, here we come!"

\---

The lights had just dimmed, and the arena erupted into excited screams and cheering as the guys walked onstage and took their places behind their instruments. Zac at the drums, Taylor at the keyboard, and Isaac up front and center with a guitar. The opening chords of "Thinking of You" were nearly drowned out by the screaming, but neither girl cared. They were just happy to be there. Kate happily sang along and danced in front of her seat, while Natalie uncomfortably tried to mimic her movements. Natalie didn't know all the words to their songs like Kate did, but she tried her best to sing along. Everyone around them seemed to know every single word to every single song. She felt left out, like she didn't belong. However, despite feeling uncomfortable, Natalie was enjoying herself. She liked the music and the enthusiasm of the crowd was contagious. By the end of the concert, she almost felt like a fan.

As the last chords of the encore were played, the lights dimmed, and Natalie felt Kate suddenly grab her hand.

"Come on!" She hissed, pulling her friend out of her seat.

"What are we doing?" Natalie asked, confused as Kate dragged her down the aisle.

"I'm going to see if I can beat the crowd and get an autograph."

Natalie was skeptical. While she was used to Kate getting what she wanted, she didn't think even Kate could pull getting an autograph off. After all, all the other fans must be thinking the same thing, she figured. Kate led Natalie, trailing behind, down the nearest aisle. The two girls easily slipped past a disinterested security guard and found themselves up against a Rent A Fence that separated the crowd from the backstage area of the left of the stage. Natalie looked back at the security guard, expecting him to tell them any minute they weren't allowed there, but he didn't. He just stood there, chatting with another guard, laughing and rolling his eyes. Natalie wondered if he was making fun of the fans or of Hanson.

As the band took their last bows and exited the stage, the crowd's cheers and screams morphed into chants of "HANSON! Hanson! Hanson!", hoping for one last song, but the guys didn't return to the stage. Instead, a DJ from the local radio station came on stage to announce the winners for a Meet and Greet contest to go backstage with the band. Kate waited expectantly, her brown eyes focused sharply on the backstage area, hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the guys as they exited the stage and stepped off the platform. She got her wish when Zac appeared, followed closely by Isaac.

Kate waved and smiled lavishly. "Zac!" she called. "Can a girl get an autograph or what?" she asked sweetly.

Zac, confused for a moment as to where the voice was coming from, turned, and seeing Kate, smiled. Isaac whispered something in his ear, then smiled and waved at the girls as he walked away. Zac stood there looking at Kate. He hesitated for a moment before walking over.

"Hey." he smiled, walking up to her.

"Hi." she replied, leaning over the fence and smiling back. "I'm Kate."

Natalie just stood there awkwardly, unsure what to say, or if she should say anything. Zac glanced at her and smiled, but then his eyes focused back on Kate.

"How'd you get back here?" he asked.

Kate shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Easy-peasy. The guard wasn't paying attention."

She pulled the tour program out of her back pocket.

"Sign this for me?"

"Sure." Zac said simply, pulling a Sharpie out of his back pocket and quickly signing his name on the front page of the program.

"Thanks." Kate said, taking it back from him and putting the program back in her back pocket.

Natalie could not believe what she was seeing. Here was her best friend talking to Zac Hanson backstage at a concert. And as usual, Natalie was standing beside her awkwardly, unsure what to do. Right then, as if on cue, Taylor emerged off the stage platform. He looked over and saw Zac and the girls standing there, and walked over. Taylor looked at both the girls but didn't say anything, he just gave a little wave. Instead, he addressed Zac.

"What are you doing? We need to be in the green room to meet the Meet and Greet winners."

Zac replied to his brother, but didn't take his eyes off Kate.

"Yeah, Tay, I know. I'm coming. I was just signing a quick autograph."

"Great concert." Natalie blurted out to Taylor, then instantly regretted it. Her cheeks turned bright red. Taylor turned towards her and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Thanks for coming." He replied distractedly, then turned back to Zac.

"Well, hurry up. We're all waiting for you."

And with that, he was gone.

"Someone's in a mood." Kate remarked casually. Zac shrugged.

"Just Taylor being Taylor. Hey, I have to go but...maybe I'll see you later?"

Kate laughed. Again, that musical noise. Natalie looked down at her feet. She was really embarrassed.

"Sure. Maybe in your dreams."

Kate winked at him, then turned on her heels and walked away, motioning for Natalie to follow.

Zac just stood there, mouth open. He looked at Natalie, who just shrugged helplessly.

"Just, uh, Kate being Kate?" She mumbled as she hurried after Kate.

Zac stood for a moment, hoping Kate would return. When it was clear she wasn't, he walked back to the green room.

He walked into the room, and a stern look from Taylor. "Took you long enough." He mumbled, scooting over and motioning for Zac to join him on the couch.

Introductions were made between the band and the Meet and Greet winners, but Zac just went through the motions. Thankfully, after what seemed like forever, the meet and greet was over, and the winners were escorted out. Zac sank into the couch and ran his hands through his hair, sighing.

"That was rough." He said. "I'm exhausted."

"They weren't that bad." Taylor said, shutting the door and walking over to the mini fridge to get a soda. "They didn't like, freak out or anything."

Zac shrugged, clearly distracted.

"Earth to Zac? You with us? What's with you?" Taylor asked, waving his hand in front of Zac's face.

"Did you see that girl?" Zac asked suddenly, looking up at Taylor.

"Which one?" Taylor asked, sitting beside him with and opening his soda. "You mean the ones you were talking to at the fence?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I saw them. Why?"

"That girl, Kate was her name...she was pretty wasn't she?" Zac mused, getting up and wandering to the other side of the room, spinning his drumsticks in his hands.

Taylor laughed. "Uh-oh buddy. You know we can't date fans. Dad's orders."

Zac frowned. "I know. But she seemed different."

"Dude, you talked to her for five minutes. How do you even know what she was like?"

"I don't know. She seemed different. It doesn't matter anyway. I'll probably never see her again."

Taylor shrugged. "Not like there's a shortage of girls."

Isaac, who was sitting on the opposite couch, laughed at that.

"Truer words were never spoken."

Zac looked up at Isaac and smiled.

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

\---

Natalie noticed Kate had a spring in her step as they fought their way through the crowd to the parking lot. Natalie was in awe, as usual. She, for the hundredth time, wished she had the confidence Kate had. Natalie would never have done what Kate did.

The two reached the parking lot and sat on a bench and waited for Pam to pick them up. Kate was uncharacteristically quiet. The two girls sat in silence for a while, watching the crowd disperse.

"You know what?" Kate said suddenly, turning and facing Natalie.

"What?"

"I'm going to marry that boy someday."

Kate said it so matter-of-factly, Natalie almost believed her. Kate always did get what she wanted.

"Yeah, and I'm going to marry Taylor." Natalie replied sarcastically.

Kate shrugged.

"Anything is possible."


	3. "Collide"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle is approached by Hanson’s rep opening act for Hanson’s This Time Around tour.

  
-  
Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide  
-  


July 10 2000

Sedona, AZ

It was a typical summer evening in Sedona, hot and unbelievably humid, well at least it was for Michelle, who was working her shift at "Mariposa." The restaurant was busier than usual due to the amount of tourists Sedona gets during the summertime.

Despite the fast-paced nature of the job, Michelle loved working here since the staff and customers were exceptionally nice. But the truth was, she'd rather spend her days and nights locked away in her bedroom, writing and playing music.

Music has always been a huge part of her life despite the fact she was only 17. Music is her love and passion. Her dream has always been to make a career of it. She hasn't given up hope that one day she will achieve that dream, but sometimes, on rare occasions, she wonders if it will ever truly happen. It's been two years since she got herself a manager, and it has been a year since she released her demo album "Broken Bracelet", yet she has not received a call from any labels. Little did she know that soon that was all about to change.

"Michelle, can you please take table seven their food? I'm little busy at the moment."

"Sure, Paulina."

Michelle took table seven their orders.

"All right, here is the shrimp cocktail for you, ma'am."

"Thank you."

"And a double bacon cheeseburger, with sweet potato fries, for you sir."

"Thank you."

"Enjoy your meal."

Michelle worked the rest of the shift and went home after, exhausted. As she was getting ready for bed when the phone rang, but she was too tired to answer it. She got in bed and shut her lights off and was ready to go to sleep until her little sister Nicole came running into her room, much to Michelle's annoyance.

"Michelle! Michelle!" her sister yelled, running into her room and turning on the light.

"What?!" she answered, irritated at having been disturbed.

"Your manager is on the phone, he says he needs to talk to you A.S.A.P."

Nicole handed her sister the cordless phone. Michelle takes the phone from her sister and puts it to her ear and tries to sound cheerful despite the fact in reality she's pissed off that her manager is calling at this hour.

"I'm sorry to call you so late, but this couldn't wait until morning. I have some great news to share with you."

"Okay, what is it?" Michelle asked sounding somewhat interested.

"Do you remember when you posted some of your songs from "Broken Bracelet" on the Rolling Stone website?

"Yeah." Michelle said, now sounding completely interested in what her manager was about to tell her.

Well, I just got a call from Jeff Rabhan who was a former Rolling Stone writer and who now is a record producer in L.A. He liked your songs so much that he passed it on to someone at Mercury Records...."

"And....." Michelle asked feeling anxious, since the suspense is now killing her.

"The famous pop-rock group Hanson heard it and they too loved your songs. They have asked their rep if they could set up a time to meet you because, they want you to join them on their tour this summer."

"Are you serious?!!!!!!!!" Michelle asked her manager, her voice filled with both happiness and disbelief.

"I'm serious, you got the gig! All your hard work is starting to pay off kid."

"I have no doubt that pretty soon you'll be signed to a label. This tour will be good exposure for you."

"This is the best news ever! When will I meet them?"

"Day after tomorrow. I already talked to your parents and told them you and I need to fly out to L.A. tomorrow night to get you settled in before your meeting with Hanson."

"Wow, I still can't believe this is happening!"

"Well, believe it. Get some sleep and start packing first thing, tomorrow. I already mailed you your flight itinerary. Have it with you. I'll have the rental car pick you up around 5 p.m. and I'll meet you at the airport."

"Okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Thanks again."

"Thank your talent, because that's what got you this opportunity kid. Good night."

"Good night." Michelle hangs up the phone.

"What did he say?" Nicole asked.

"I'm going to L.A. tomorrow, and the next day, I'm going to meet with Hanson, and they want me to open up for them on their tour."

Nicole screams in excitement for her sister and gives her hug.

"I'm so happy for you 'chelle."

Michelle hugs her sister back, and has huge smile on her face, because, she still can't believe that her dreams are starting to come true.

\---

The Next Evening

The Hollywood Roosevelt - Los Angeles, CA

"I can't believe I'm in the "City of Angels", and that tomorrow I get to meet one of my favorite bands, and that I'm going on tour with them? Is this for real or I'm still dreaming?" Michelle asked her manager excitedly as she plopped down on the plush couch in her suite.

"It's for real, kid. Look, it's still early, so I was thinking we could get some dinner, but after that we need to get back here. I want you to get to bed early since we are meeting with Hanson and their people first thing tomorrow morning. We will work out the details of the tour. Okay?" her manager, Bob, said to her in a fatherly tone.

"You got it." Michelle replied, unable to contain her excitement.

Bob gave her a stern look.

"I'm serious, Michelle. This is a great opportunity for you. I need you at your best." Bob chided. Michelle nodded and did the sign of the cross on her chest.

"Cross my heart, hope to die. I will sleep tonight."

The two left the hotel and had dinner at a nearby restaurant. After dinner, Bob dropped Michelle off at her room and retired to his own room next door.

Michelle sat on her bed, too excited to even think about sleeping. She washed up and put on her pajamas, but still wasn't slightly tired. She couldn't believe this was happening. This was a dream come true. She knew how important of an opportunity this was for her to get her music out there. She was grateful, but at the same time nervous.

Whenever Michelle was nervous, she wrote songs. It calmed her down. She grabbed her songwriting notebook and guitar and sat on her bed. She was about to start strumming when she stopped; a thought occurring to her. Bob would be angry if he heard her up late playing her guitar when she was supposed to be sleeping, preparing for her meeting with Hanson's reps.

She hopped off the bed, placed two hands on the wall and listened. She heard no sounds coming from Bob's room. Satisfied he was asleep, she happily sat back on the bed and picked up her guitar, playing a few notes thoughtfully. She knew she deserved this opportunity, she'd worked hard for it, but despite this, she was nervous, she'd never toured, and didn't know what to expect. According to her manager, she'd be joining Hanson on two dates - Los Angeles, and Phoenix. She'd be traveling with the band. She jotted down a few lyrics that came to her:

There's a will

There's a way

Sometimes words just can't explain

This is real

I'm afraid

Michelle continued to strum quietly on her guitar and write lyrics and notes in her book until her lids felt heavy. She almost had a completed song, and felt proud of herself. She fell asleep with her guitar on her lap.

\--

Michelle was awoken the next morning by a sharp knocking at her door.

"Michelle! Open up! We have to hustle. We're already running late." Bob called through the door. 

Michelle sat up in bed, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She felt like she'd just closed her eyes, but not even her lack of sleep could quell her excitement. She was about to meet Hanson. She could not be more excited if she tried.

She hopped out of bed, showered and dressed in no time. She dabbed on some lipgloss and, after fussing with her hair for a bit, announced she was ready.

The drive to the Mercury Records headquarters was a short one. It was early on a Sunday, so there wasn't much traffic, for which Bob was thankful. After parking the car, Bob and Michelle got out and proceeded to walk to the lobby of the label. They approached the front desk.

"Good morning, how can I help you?" asked the receptionist in such a bubbly and annoying voice.

"Good morning. My name is Bob Spencer. My client and I (he points to Michelle) have a meeting with Stirling McILwaine and Hanson."

"Oh, okay, one second."

The woman picked up her phone and called someone.

"Hello, yes, I have a gentleman by the name of Bob Spencer and young lady here to see you."

"Oh, yes, we're expecting them, please send them right up." the voice on the phone commanded to the receptionist.

"Will do."

She hangs up the phone and turns to her head slightly to Bob and Michelle's direction.

"They are waiting for you. They are in the boardroom on the second floor. Just take the elevator and when you get to the second floor, the boardroom is the first room to your left."

"Thank you very much, Miss. Let's go kid."

Bob and Michelle start walking to the elevator. Once inside Bob hits the button to take them to the second floor. While waiting to get to their floor, Bob notices that Michelle looks nervous, since her hands somewhat shaking.

"Nervous kid?" Bob asks knowing fully well she is.

Michelle looks at Bob and smiles sheepishly.

"Yeah, a little, I just can't believe this is happening, in a few seconds, I'm about to meet one of my favorite bands and we'll be discussing me going on tour with them!"

"Well, like I told you before, believe it."

The elevator stops briefly and it's doors open signaling that this is their stop.

Bob and Michelle get off the elevator. Before they begin to walk to the boardroom. Bob turns to look at Michelle.

"Moment of truth, relax and breathe."

"Okay."

Michelle closes her eyes and takes a quick breath to compose herself.

"You got this kid." Bob says to her in a such proud, fatherly tone and gives her small smile.

Michelle smiles back at him.

"Let's do this." she says.

They begin to walk towards the boardroom.

Michelle took one last deep breath and walked in. A large table was set in the middle. There were broad windows overlooking downtown Los Angeles. On one side of the table sat what she figured was Hanson's manager or company representative, and on the other side sat Taylor and Zac. Isaac was nowhere to be seen.

"Bob! Hello!" Stirling said as he got out of his seat and shook Bob's hand. He smiled at Michelle and extended his hand to her as well. "And you must be Michelle. Such a pleasure, thank you so much for coming!" he said as they shook hands.

"Uh, yes, thank you so much for having me." Michelle replied, trying not to look as nervous as she felt.

"I'm sure you know who these guys are. Taylor, Zac this is Michelle. Isaac wasn't feeling well and won't be joining us today." Stirling continued, motioning towards the guys.

Zac was wearing a green button-up shirt and a pair of cargo pants. He had a head of hair any girl would be jealous of, sun-streaked and dirty blonde, it fell down past his shoulders. Michelle noted how good-looking he was overall, a bit husk but, it suited him. Taylor was wearing a red velvet shirt and had several chokers around his neck, his hair was long too, though not as long as Zac's and was tied back with a ponytail.

Taylor looked up at her waved and smiled, and Michelle's heart skipped a tiny beat. There was no denying it: Taylor was a total fox. Zac looked engrossed in what appeared to be a hand-held video game and didn't even look up.

"Don't mind Zac." Stirling said crisply, motioning to the table. "He's tired. It's been a long week. Sit! Have a seat."

Bob sat down beside Stirling, which left only one seat empty - the one next to Taylor. Michelle sat down in it, and, feeling uncomfortable, turned her chair towards Taylor. She extended her hand, figuring she had to break the ice somehow.

"Michelle." she said. "I know you, uh, know, I know who you are, but...let's make this official, yeah?"

Taylor smiled and shook her hand back. "Taylor. Nice to meet you, Michelle. We're really happy you agreed to meet with us."

Michelle blushed slightly. "You're happy I agreed to meet with you? I'm the lucky one! This is such a great opportunity for me. A dream come true, really." she added, slightly embarrassed that she'd shared that last part.

Taylor smiled that beautiful smile again, and Michelle could swear she felt her heart jump a tiny beat again. She tried to shake it off. She knew she needed to be professional, but was difficult. Here she was, after all, chatting with Taylor Hanson. It was intimidating to say the least. He was more gorgeous in person than in pictures she'd seen of him in magazines. He was nearly perfect...beautiful blue eyes, a great smile, tan and fit...he was basically every girl's dream guy.

"Have you ever toured before?" Taylor asked her, studying her carefully.

Michelle shook her head. "No. Never. Not really, anyway. I've played shows around Arizona and Texas, but not really toured for real."

Taylor's face lit up at that, like he was excited to tell her all about what it was like.

"Oh my gosh. It is so fun, but also so exhausting. This tour is going to be so epic. We're so excited. And we love your music." he added, "We've been playing your album in the bus on repeat, seriously. It's really great. We love all the songs."

Michelle was speechless. Taylor Hanson was praising her music? She almost couldn't believe it. Michelle was amazed Taylor even know about Broken Bracelet. She'd self-produced it, and couldn't imagine where Taylor had snagged a copy. Only a small amount of CDs had been printed, and it had barely been promoted.

"Well, thank you." she said, embarrassed. "I have so much more material for another album. I just want to get the music out there, you know? I want to get signed to a real label. Like you guys."

"Well, you're going to be able to do that with us for sure! Our fans will love you. And I'm sure you'll get noticed."

Michelle wasn't so sure of that, but she nodded anyway.

"I hope so! I wonder what-

She was interrupted by a loud clearing of the throat noise from Bob. She and Taylor turned and looked at him, and realized that everyone at the table was staring at them, totally listening in on their conversation. Michelle's face instantly went red, but Taylor chuckled and sat back, unfazed. Michelle could tell he has sat through many of these meetings.

"Sorry, guys. We were just chatting. Carry on. Didn't mean to hold anyone up."

Stirling gave Taylor a look that a irritated father would give a disobedient child. "Well, now that we are at attention and present, I say we get started."

Michelle saw Taylor motion to Zac to put his videogame away. Zac did so reluctantly then whispered something in Taylor's ear Michelle couldn't pick up. Taylor nodded and chuckled. Michelle wondered what Zac had said. Michelle could sense right away the two were close.

Stirling smiled at Bob and rifled through some papers and continued, addressing Michelle.

"Well, Michelle, as you may know, the guys are gearing up to start the tour to promote their new album This Time Around, which was released on our label in May. What we're proposing is that you join them on the tour as an opener next month in August for a couple dates. We've already got an opener lined up for the first part of the tour - a band named Neve - but they aren't available for a couple dates. That's where you come in. There may be an opportunity for you to continue with the tour if the audience's response is good, of course, but for now, we only need you for the August 8 and 9 shows, L.A. and Phoenix. What do you think?"

He looked at Michelle expedantly.

"That sounds great." Michelle said. "I'd be honored to join the tour for any amount of time."

"So, Stirling, how did Mercury get wind of Michelle's music?" Bob asked.

"Taylor, actually. He gave her album to me and asked if it was possible to set up a meeting with her. He said he wanted her to join the tour."

Taylor smiled, proud of himself. "I know talent when I see it." he said, winking at Michelle.

The rest of the meeting went well. Michelle was required to sign some paperwork. After doing so, she said her goodbyes to everyone and she and Bob were escorted back out to the lobby by Stirling.

"So, kiddo, that was something, wasn't it?" Bob asked as they got into the elevator.

"Yeah." Michelle agreed. "I'm so excited! I still can't believe this is happening."

"Things can change so fast." Bob mused, pressing the button for the lower-level garage floor where their car was parked.

"They sure can..." Michelle trailed off as she followed Bob out of the elevator.

Michelle didn't know what to expect, but she knew her life was about to change.

\---

August 4 2000

Michelle's family had been ecstatic to hear the news that she was leaving for tour. Michelle's boss, Paulina, was equally excited for Michelle and promised to make sure she got her shifts covered when she was gone. They knew this was Michelle's big chance. Michelle spent the next two weeks preparing for the tour. The plan was for her to fly out to San Francisco and meet up with Hanson and their team there. Michelle was counting down the days until she left.

The day had finally arrived, and Michelle was packed and ready to go. Bob was to accompany her on the trip. Michelle's mom had agreed to drive them to the airport, and her sister had tagged along.

"Goodbye, honey. We're so proud of you. Call us when you land, alright?" her mother said as she tearfully hugged her daughter.

"I will, mom. I promise." Michelle said, as she hugged her mom back.

Michelle was lost in thought on the flight from Arizona to San Francisco. Bob had fallen asleep, so she amused herself by working on the song she had started that night in the hotel the day she'd met Hanson. She had almost a whole song now. She had just dozed off when she heard the familiar announcement that they were about to land and the cabin lights came back on. Michelle shook Bob awake, gathered her belongings, and waited expectantly for her turn to exit the plane.

By the time they arrived at their hotel, it was already almost midnight, and Michelle was exhausted. After saying goodnight to Bob and dumping her bags on the floor of her hotel room, she was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

The next morning, Michelle and Bob left to meet the band bright and early. They made it to the venue by 9 a.m. The plan was for Michelle to meet the crew and spend some time practicing some of her songs with their accompaniment, as they'd be backing her up during her sets. She was to watch the show that night, then help with load-out. Then they were on the road towards Los Angeles for their show the next day, which Michelle would be opening. Michelle had carefully chosen six songs for her set, five from "Broken Bracelet", and a new song, "Everywhere", which she wanted to include on her upcoming record - that is, if she could ever get the opportunity to record and produce it. She was excited to play her new song for a crowd. No one had heard it yet, and it was to be her surprise to her fans, some of which she hoped would hear her on this tour. Or maybe if things went well she'd gain some new fans.

Michelle was happily teaching the band one of her songs in the green room when the door opened and Taylor stood there, smiling at her broadly.

"Michelle! I didn't realize you were here yet."

Michelle stood up and walked over to him. Taylor gave her a hug, which took her slightly aback, but she wasn't complaining.

"I am! I just got in. I was just jamming with your guys here."

"Great! Well, the plan for tonight is you can watch the show from backstage, and then help us with load out. Then we need to hustle to get to L.A. for our show tomorrow night. Which reminds me, did Stirling talk to you about where you'll be sleeping?"

Michelle shook her head. "No. I figured I'd just be staying on the bus with the crew?"

"No way!" Taylor said. "You're staying on the bus with us! It'll be fun. There's an extra bunk you can have."

"Sounds great!" Michelle replied, excited to hear she was going to be staying in the same bus as the guys and their back-up band. She'd be the only girl, but she was okay with that. She'd always been a bit of a tomboy, and had always gotten along better with guys than girls, and had lots of guy friends. She was sure she'd fit right in.

Taylor said something about needing to start the sound check then hurried out, followed closely by the guys in the backup band.

Michelle couldn't help, but smile to herself as she strummed alone on her guitar, thinking about how she'd be bunking right next to Taylor.

This was going to be interesting.

\---

Michelle happily watched the show that night from backstage. Having a view of the crowd from the stage was enlightening: she hadn't realized some of Hanson's fans were so crazy. They did things like throw their bras on stage and held up signs that read "Marry Me Taylor!" among other things. Michelle thought it was funny, but she could tell it didn't flatter the guys as intended, instead it irritated them.

After the show, the guys and their band decided to have a late dinner at a local restaurant and invited Michelle along. They managed to slip out the back right after the encore, thus avoiding the usual crowd outside hoping to get an autograph. There was a car waiting in back for them which drove them to a restaurant called L.A. City Grill on the other side of town. It seemed far to Michelle, but Zac insisted the place was "the bomb." On the ride there they chatted about the show and the tour.

Michelle had just asked Isaac what he thought about the fans who threw their bras onstage, but Zac cut him off, clearly having a lot to say on the matter.

"Oh my God, it's so gross. I mean, do they think that is something we like? Personally, I like my girls with a bit more class."

Isaac laughed. "Zac, you don't even have a girl, how would you know?"

Zac gave his brother a pointed look. "Like you do?"

"More than you."

Taylor put his hand up, a gesture of peace. "Come on guys, cut it out."

Isaac and Zac glared at each other, but kept quiet. Isaac rolled his eyes, and looked out the window. Zac pulled out his Gameboy.

The more Michelle got to know Taylor, the more impressed she was with him. Firstly, he was more mature than most guys his age. He took his music very seriously. Not like Isaac and Zad didn't, it was just that Zac was young, only 15 years-old, and well, Isaac was girl-crazy from what Michelle could see, and often distracted - he was the one who usually got in trouble for bringing fans back to the bus when he knew he wasn't allowed to date fans. Taylor was definitely the peacemaker of the band. From observing, Michelle had also noticed that Taylor and Zac seemed to be particularly close, while Isaac and Taylor often butted heads. Zac and Ike - as he insisted Michelle call him - being so apart in age didn't seem to be as close.

Michelle had learned too that their dad toured with them. He wasn't their official manager, they had one from their label who managed them on tour, but their dad sure acted like he was their manager sometimes. Michelle knew he had strict rules he expected his sons to follow, including one she had heard Isaac complain about more than once: no dating fans.

From what she could see, Zac was kind of immature but a sweet guy, who clearly loved playing music, but the stress of touring made him often tired and cranky. Isaac was a fun-loving guy, who felt grateful to have the opportunity to tour. Taylor was different than both his brothers. He had a rare confidence for a guy his age. Michelle had instantly felt drawn to him. They just clicked. She felt comfortable around him, like he understood her and she could trust him. They both shared an intense, all-consuming passion for music.

The two chatted quietly in the corner of the car as they drove.

"So what did you think of the show?" Taylor asked.

"It was fantastic. You guys are so good. It's a bit intimidating, actually."

"What? How so?" He asked.

"I don't know, I mean you guys are like, really famous." Michelle said simply, not sure how to articulate how out of place she felt.

"We're just regular guys."

Michelle raised an eyebrow. "Hardly!"

"Really!" Taylor insisted. "We are. We just happen to be famous."

"Whatever you say."

"You will be too." Taylor added.

"Be what?" Michelle asked, unsure what he was now referring to.

"Famous. You're really talented. It's only a matter of time, before you get signed and are doing your own tour."

"You really think so?" Michelle asked, hopeful and touched that Taylor had said that.

"I know so." Taylor said, winking at her. He put his arm around Michelle and squeezed her shoulder, a friendly gesture, but it sent shivers up Michelle's spine. Taylor wasn't afraid to make physical contact with others, she'd noticed. Not in a creepy way, though. He was just kind of the touchy-feely type.

"Thanks, Taylor. That means a lot."

"Anytime, doll."

They sat comfortably together in silence the rest of the ride, his arm around her, a tiny smile on Michelle's face she hoped Taylor couldn't see.

It was official: Michelle had a crush on Taylor. A big one. Little did she know what she was getting herself into.

\---

The Next Evening

The Wiltern, Los Angeles, CA

Michelle paces around nervously in the green room as she waits for the stage manager to summon her and the back-up band to the stage. She can hear the crowd's chants and cheers from where she is. She stops pacing around and closes her eyes to relax herself a bit.

"Okay, calm down Michelle, you have been waiting for this opportunity for a long time, don't let your nerves get the best of you. Everything is going to be fine. You'll be fine. Just breathe." she reassures herself

She takes a huge breath in and lets it out, as she sighs calmly. This is soothing for her.

"Talk to yourself huh?"

(Taylor closes the door behind him)

Michelle, jolted out of her semi-trance, holds her right hand to her chest and turns to face the person who just scared the shit out her.

"Geez, Taylor, give a girl a warning when you sneak up on them like that." Michelle says jokingly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just was walking by and I noticed you were talking to yourself, because you're nervous?" Taylor says to her his voice filled with both concern and curiosity.

"I can't believe you heard me, I feel so stupid now....." Michelle says to him, while lowering her head in embarrassment .

"Don't be. You just have the jitters. It's normal to feel the way you do when you're playing in front of huge crowd. I know I still do."

Michelle looks at Taylor all surprised. 

"Really?" "Because, you don't look or seem nervous when you're out there playing. In fact you look so confident. I think that's very admirable, because you trust in yourself and in the talent you have."

"Thanks for saying that, but, what I told you before is the truth, I still get nervous, but, I've tried to not show so much. It's been three years since "Middle of Nowhere" came out and yes, we went to the top of the industry and all, but sometimes, I wonder if people will still love and follow our music."

"They will, I know I have."

Taylor smiles at Michelle.....

"Thanks for saying that..."

They lock eyes with one and looking at each other with such intensity....

Their moment is interrupted by a knock on the door.

They turn their heads to face the door. The stage manager pops his head in.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Michelle, you're due on stage in about two minutes, can you make your way down there please."

"Sure. No problem."

"Well, I guess I better get going. Wish me luck."

"Good luck, not that you'll need though, since you're already captivating from what I can see. Soon that crowd will too."

Michelle blushes a bit from hearing that comment, and smiles sheepishly, while awkwardly tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Thanks. I'll see after the show?"

"Count on it." Taylor smiles so coyly

As Michelle is walking to the stage, she can feel Taylor's eyes on her. She turns her head slightly and sees Taylor looking at her with such intensity. She stares back at him totally mesmerized by him, until she hears her name being called by the stage manager signaling her introduction.

She runs up on stage and picks up her guitar and goes up to mic.

"Oh boy" she mumbled to herself as she walks onstage. She reminds herself that soon she'll be leaving the tour and will likely never see Taylor.

The crowd erupts with cheers and praises for the young singer...

After the show

Michelle was wandering the halls, feeling so alive, because the show had been so successful. Sure the crowd was here to see Hanson play, but she got a good response from the crowd during her opening act. She remembers looking out at the crowd seeing smiles on people's faces and them cheering her on and yelling praises, that they loved her music. This brought such joy to Michelle. It feel so damn good because, it meant that all her hard work was somewhat starting to pay off. No matter if she ever got signed or not to a label, in those moments, when she was out there playing for that crowd, Michelle realizes her life was music and that she was going to make a career out it, no matter what.

As she was walking, being distracted by her own train of thoughts, she runs into someone.....

"Whoa!" I'm so sorry.... She looks up to see who she ran into. Much to her delight, that someone was none other than Taylor, whose arms she was currently in.

"It's okay, Michelle, I should have been watching where I was going."

Michelle notices that Taylor was all sweaty from the show, that he and his brothers just wrapped up. A sudden odd, but sensual feeling starts to arises within her.

"But, I should really start watching where, I'm going..." she whispers softly to him...

She and Taylor gaze into each other's eyes, with him still holding her in his arms...

Isaac and Zac come around the corner and they see their brother and Michelle in a rather intimate position.

Michelle and Taylor don't even hear them or see them, because they are so locked with one another.

Isaac clears his throat very loudly, in hopes that he'll get their attention...

At the sound of this, Taylor and Michelle stop staring at each other and break physical contact. They turn their attention to Isaac and Zac, who are standing looking amused by this....

"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but Tay, we need to hit the showers quick because we all need to be back on the bus at 11:00 if we plan to be in Phoenix by morning." Isaac states.

"Yeah, sure."

(Taylor turns to face Michelle)

"I'll see you back on the bus, okay?" He says to her, while looking at her with such seriousness.

Michelle knows he wanted to probably talk about whatever just occurred between them. Or at least she thinks he wanted to.

"Yeah..." she says back to him.

Taylor gives her a smile, before disappearing around the corner with his brothers into the green room.

(In the green room)

While Taylor is gathering his toiletries, he notices that Ike and Zac are staring at him, with such goofy smirks on their faces....

"Don't even ask...." Taylor says to them in a stern voice as he walks into the bathroom.

"We weren't going to..." Zac states while he and Ike snicker.

As Michelle was making her way to the bus, she was stopped by a female fan....

"Hey, Michelle you were awesome tonight! Do you mind if I get your autograph?"

Michelle is stunned by this for moment, because she's not use to having people come up to her and ask her for her autograph. But, she collects herself and takes the girl's notebook and pen.

"Sure."

Michelle signs the girl's notebook and then gives it back to her and gives the girl a genuine smile.

"Thanks! You rock by the way..." she heard the fan say to her, as she walked away. Michelle just smiles, because she knew the fan meant it.

Michelle began to walk again towards the bus. As she gets close to the bus, she notices her manager, Bob, was standing there talking to a man, who looked to be in his 30s and was dressed in a casual attire.

"There you are! Michelle, I would like for you to meet Adam Leber, he is one of the executives at Maverick Records."

"Hello, it's nice to meet you.." Michelle says to Adam, while extending her hand out to him.

(Adam took her hand in his and shook it)

"Likewise." He releases her hand from his.

"You know, that fan is right, you were great tonight..." He says to her

"Thanks, I guess." Michelle says back to him, while smiling sheepishly.

"No, I'm serious, that's some serious talent you got there." I said to myself, "I gotta sign this girl quick before some other label does." he states truthfully to her.

Michelle looks at Adam with such a surprised look on her face.

"You wanna what?"

"I want to sign you, to Maverick Records." he stated again.

Michelle gasps in disbelief and looks at Bob for reassurance ....

"It's true kid, it looks like all your hard work is being recognized." Bob says to her in a such a loving fatherly way.

"I can't believe this..." Michelle says, her voice echoing with happiness.

"Well, believe it. Look, I already talked to your manager here, and after you're done with this tour with Hanson, we wanted you to come back to L.A . for a meeting with my colleagues and I. We want to discuss the contract with you and sign you officially to our label. Once all that legal mumbo jumbo is out the way, we'll start with the writing material and recording for your debut album."

Michelle still couldn't believe what she was hearing, all she could do was nod her head in response and say these words....

"Okay, that's sounds great!"

Adam smiles again at her, because he knows the emotions she was feeling at this moment.

"I left my business card with your manager here and feel free to give me a call to tell me when the tour is over and you're back in L.A. again."

"All right we will..." Bob states...

After exchanging her farewells with Adam, Michelle gets on the bus and sits on one of the couches that were at the back of the bus and was looking out the window.... She is all smiles, because she still can't believe she just got offered a record deal and very soon she will be signed to the label and recording her debut album.

Michelle is so caught in her own little world, she doesn't notice when Taylor and his brothers come into the room, until Taylor calls out her name...

"Michelle!"

Hearing the sound of Taylor's voice, Michelle snaps out of her train of thought and looks over to see Taylor and his brothers, who are all staring at her with such confused looks on their faces.

"What's with you, while are you all smiles?" Taylor asks.

"Well, because I just got offered a record deal, while I was making my way back to the bus!"

"What?" the brothers said in union

Michelle gives them a genuine smile.

"Yeah, a guy from Maverick Records was here tonight and was talking to Bob and me. He told me he loved my music and then he offered to sign me to their label. After I finish the tour with you guys, I'm coming back to L.A. to meet with him and the rest of the executives to sign the contract and start recording my debut record and all." Michelle tells the guys with such excitement in her voice.

"That's so great!" Taylor says to her smiling and gives her a strong hug followed by Isaac and Zac giving her one too and congratulating her too.

"You worked so hard for this, enjoy it, because you honestly deserved it." Isaac tells her..

"Thanks Ike, I will."

The four of them chat for a while, talking about the tour, the show they performed that night, Michelle being signed to Maverick and their hobbies. However after a while Isaac and Zac call it a night and go to bed, leaving Taylor and Michelle alone together as they weren't the least bit tired yet.

"I still can't believe, I got signed to Maverick, it's like a dream!" Michelle says, her face beaming with such happiness.

Taylor smiles at her knowing exactly how she feels at this moment....

"Well, it is a dream, only thing is that this dream has come true."

"Yeah, it has."

(Smiles are exchanged between them)

"Is this how you and your brothers felt when you guys first got signed to Mercury Records?" she asks him.

"Yeah, I'll never forget that day, we were so stoked about finally being signed to a record company, after years of performing and working our tails off. There was such a rush of emotions that day, that all I can remember feeling in that moment was euphoria because it was like a dream coming true, and that's how it has been ever since."

"Well, it seems like our musical dreams have and are coming true, it's unbelievable, because it's so hard to make it in this industry, you know?"

"Yeah, don't you and I know it! The key thing to remember, is just focus on the music, because, that's what going keep you going and also keep your sanity in check too." Taylor jokingly states.

(Michelle and Taylor start laughing slightly at his last remark)

"I'll keep that in mind..." she says.

After a bit, it gets quiet which makes Michelle feel a little uncomfortable, because she knows that the feelings that she has experienced during her close encounters with Taylor are resurfacing again.

Taylor feels the same feelings too, and decides to bring up the encounter that they shared earlier tonight, before he loses his nerve to do so.

"Michelle, we need to talk about what happened earlier tonight..."

Michelle shifts around nervously in her spot, because she knows where this is going and, frankly, she is nervous to hear whatever Taylor is about to say to her. So, she tries her best to brush it off.

"Talk about? We just ran into each other, I mean it's no big deal..." she says awkwardly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear once again.

Taylor notices that she does that whenever she gets nervous or flushed.

"Yeah, it is. Look, I I felt something, when I was holding you in my arms, and I know you felt something too. I saw in your eyes."

Michelle now feels uncomfortable and scared because, Taylor can see right through her and was able to read her like no other guy has been able to. She knows she owes it to him and herself to be brave and face these feelings, but she can't because she is terrified. She has never felt such an attraction to a guy like she feels towards Taylor. To avoid talking about this matter any further, Michelle gets up quickly and makes the excuse she is tired and is going to bed.

"You know, I'm feeling a bit tired, so I think it's in my best interest to go to bed...." Michelle rambled on as she heads towards the door that leads to the bunks.

Taylor intercepts her.

Michelle is trapped, she is pushed up against the door and Taylor has his hands on each side of the door and is standing right in front of her looking at her with such passionate intensity...

Michelle tries not to look at him directly in the eyes, because, she is afraid she'll lose her grip if she does.

"Michelle, look at me please..." Taylor says so softly.

Michelle doesn't look at him because she is afraid to.

Taylor brings his hand to her chin and lifts her chin ever so slightly. Her eyes are now looking into his. Taylor sees passion in them despite the fear, he knows what she is feeling right now because he feels it too.

"I want to do something okay?" He said to her in a soft voice.

Michelle just nods her head, she is bedazzled by him.

Taylor moves in closer to her and puts his hands on her hips and pulls her closer to him. Both of them tilt their heads and their faces draw close with their eyes closed as they start to kiss one another, so tenderly at first. They slightly break away, Michelle with her eyes closed still, exhales softly and slides her hands around his neck and leans into him and brings her lips to his and they start to kiss again, only this time the kiss is filled with passion and heat. They are so lost in their kiss that they don't hear Zac calling out to them, until he knocks on the door...

"Hey, guys, we're at a truck stop now, we better loaded up on goodies...."

At the sound of Zac's voice through the door, Taylor and Michelle abruptly stop kissing and break away from each other.... feeling all flushed and embarrassed because they almost got caught. They compose themselves.

In order to avoid suspicion from Zac, Taylor opens the door and pretends act all casual....

"Hey, bro, you guys go ahead and I'm just gonna grab my wallet, okay?"

"Whatever you say" Zac says to his brother with a smug look on his face.

Once Zac is out sight, Taylor looks at Michelle and goes to her, he grabs one of her hands and holds it.

He looks at her dead straight in the eyes....

"I've been wanting to kiss you since the day I met you"

"Me too..." Michelle tells him honestly.

They stare at each other for a moment until Michelle breaks eye contact.

"I really do need to go to bed now, I'll see you in the morning."

Taylor leans in close to her and whispers into her ear.

"Count on it doll face."

Before Michelle can respond, Taylor leaves the room quickly with a huge smirk on his face.

Michelle gasps in shock, in total bliss, because tonight was unlike any other night for her.

That night when she returns to her bunk, Taylor was already in bed asleep, his curtain pulled tightly shut, so she wasn't able to talk to him.

\---

The Next Morning

Phoenix, AZ

The teens, exhausted from the show the night before, had slept in the next morning. They were awoken early by their tour manager, rapping loudly on the side of the bus.

"Guys! Wake up, hustle up! We're at the venue."

Taylor smiles apologetically at Michelle as he is hustled out of the bus by his insistent manager. "We'll talk later." he mouthed to Michelle. She smiles and nods, knowing he would keep his promise. Michelle is eager to talk about what had happened last night, but she is also eager to get into the venue and get settled.

With lots to do, loading in equipment, practicing her songs, and talking to Bob about her record deal she'd been offered, the day went by fast and Michelle barely sees Taylor, or any of the guys for that matter. The show goes by without a hitch. The fans loved Michelle just as they had in L.A., Michelle leaves the stage feeling on top of the world. She was on the way to the green room, planning to grab a glass of water then head back out to watch Hanson's set, when she was intercepted by Bob and a man she'd never seen before.

"Michelle! I'm glad that, I caught you. I want you to meet someone. Michelle, this is Teddy Landau your new bass player."

Michelle shakes Teddy's hand, slightly dazed.

"Great show tonight." He says sincerely. "I'm excited to work with you."

"Uh, yeah me too..." Michelle says. She smile at Teddy then looks at Bob expectedly. "Uh, can I talk to you for a sec?" she asks her manager.

"Sure." Bob says, turning towards Teddy. "Why don't you wait for me in the green room? We can discuss the details and I'll draw you up a contract."

"Sure thing" Teddy says, smiling at Michelle as he walked away.

"What's up?" Bob asked. Michelle waits until Teddy is out of hearing distance before she speaks.

"I have a bass player? Since when?"

"Well, since today. I guess he's on Maverick's label, and they've been looking for a good act for him to join for a while. Apparently, he worked with Mandy Moore on her latest album, who has nothing, but, glowing things to say about him. He can play pop well. But most importantly, he is available to tour."

"This is just a lot to take in. I mean, just yesterday this guy wants to sign me, and now I have a bass player? By the end of the day I'll have a drummer." Michelle jokes.

"Adam wants to put you on tour right away and, of course, finance your new record."

Michelle sits down on a nearby chair, slightly shocked.

"This is really happening, isn't it?"

Bob smiles at her. "Buckle up, kid. Where this is going, it's going to be one hell of a ride."

\---

After talking to Bob a bit more about the tour, Bob leaves to talk to Teddy, and Michelle decides to forget and is watching Hanson's set for a bit of alone time. She needed to think about everything that has happened. She heads back to the bus, planning to wait there for Taylor. She sits down on her bunk heavily. She was to fly home that following morning, and Hanson were to head to their next date. She and Bob would be staying in a hotel. Michelle couldn't believe the last few days. So much had happened. She feels so many emotions and is just trying to process. She is zipping up her suitcase when she hears soft knock at the door.

She opens it to see Taylor standing there, smiling at her.

"Hey."

"Hey." she says, stepping back and letting him in, shutting the door behind her.

"Where are Zac and Ike?"

"They're in the green room, talking to some fans."

"Oh."

"So you're leaving tonight, huh?" he says, sitting across the aisle from her on his own bunk.

"That I am." Michelle says, unable to hide the sadness in her voice. "I wish I could stay and open the whole tour for you guys. It's been so much fun. I know it's only been a few days, but it feels like I've known you guys forever."

"Me too." Taylor sighed, "but we have this other band, M2M lined up to open for us the rest of the tour."

That name sounded so familiar to her, but she couldn't place it.

"M2M...that sounds so familiar."

"Yeah, they're two girls from uh, Norway I think? This is their first time touring the U.S. I actually haven't listened to them yet. Mercury set it up. They're flying in today and joining the tour. They're meeting us at our hotel tomorrow."

"Oh. Cool." Michelle says, fiddling with her suitcase. She didn't want to say goodbye to Taylor, but knew she had to.

Taylor looked like he was about to say something when they were interrupted by a loud knock on the bus door.

"Michelle? Are you in there?" Bob calls through the door.

Michelle groaned. "Yeah, give me a sec." she calls back.

"Okay, kiddo, but we got to jet. Say your goodbyes. We're going back to the hotel because the guys have to get on the road. I'll meet you in the car."

Michelle and Taylor look at each other, neither wanting to say goodbye, but knowing they had to. They could hear their roadies loading their gear into the bus' lower storage compartments. Michelle could hear Zac talking outside to someone, and she knew it was only a matter of time before they were interrupted again. Michelle wanted to kiss Taylor again, but didn't have the nerve.

"There is something really special about you, Michelle. You're going to get really big, real soon. I can feel it."

Michelle smiled at the sentiment. "Thanks, Tay. You're really special, too. I'll never forget this."

The two sat there in awkward silence for a moment, neither sure what to say next.

"I really like you a lot." Taylor said suddenly, biting his lower lip. "Is that okay?"

Michelle laughs. "Of course that's okay. And I really like you too." She admits.

"Can we stay in touch?" Taylor asks hopefully.

"Definitely!"

They exchange phone numbers and give each other a hug.

Right then, as if on cue, the door of the bus comes flying open and Zac stands there.

"Michelle! There you are. We were afraid you had left without saying goodbye."

"Without saying goodbye! Never!" Michelle replies hopping out of the bus and giving Zac a big hug.

"I'm really going to miss you guys."

At that, Isaac walks up.

"Michelle, are you leaving?" He asks, hugging her as well. She nods. He looks at her and says,

"You're badass, Michelle. Seriously. It's been great having you on tour. I hope we can stay in touch."

"Thanks, Ike. It's been a dream come true, really." Michelle says, feeling tears welling in her eyes. 

She gave a last round of hugs and waves as she watches Zac and Isaac walk away towards the bus at the insistence of their tour manager, who always seemed to be in a hurry and yelling.

Taylor comes up behind her, and once again the two are alone.

"Can I walk you to your car?"

Taylor carries Michelle's bag to the car Bob had rented for them.

Taylor gives Michelle one last, fierce hug.

"Hey, listen, if you're ever in Tulsa, give me a call, okay?"

Michelle nods.

"Promise?"

"Promise." she whispers.

Their faces were so close they were almost touching. Michelle wants to kiss Taylor again, but knows Bob is watching from the car.

Then, almost as if on cue, Bob rolls down his window.

"Come on you two lovebirds, we got to jet. Taylor, your manager is calling for you."

Taylor looks over and sees Bob is right. He sighs, looking back at Michelle.

"I guess I have to go."

Michelle nods glumly.

"Yeah, me too."

Taylor takes his hands off Michelle's hips and laces his fingers in hers for a moment.

"'Bye Michelle." He whispers in her ear.

"'Bye, Tay."

And with that, he lets go of her hand, backs up a few steps, winks at her, then turns on his heel, waving as he walks away.

Michelle didn't know it then, but she wouldn't see Taylor again for a year.


	4. "Everything"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M2M joins the tour, and Zac and Kate hit it off.

  
-  
It seems like  
Everywhere everyone's in love  
So, where are you?  
And I remember  
You couldn't get enough  
Said you felt it too  
So didn't you  
-  


August 22, 2000

Atlanta, Georgia

Now a junior in high school, Kate had recently gotten involved in modeling, mostly junior's fashion spreads for Sears and JCPenney. She didn't want to make a career out of it, but she did enjoy it and loved the perks of getting free clothes. When Kate had signed up to model in the fashion show for Macy's, she had no idea it was before a Hanson concert. Though Kate had grown out of her Hanson "phase", she still considered herself a fan and when she found out this fact, she admitted she was excited to see the guys again, and yes, to maybe have the opportunity to talk to Zac, who she still thought was really attractive. She knew part of being in the show meant she could get backstage, and she planned to use that perk to her advantage. And of course, she wanted Natalie to come with her.

It was a beautiful Saturday in Atlanta, clear skies, a balmy 90 degrees. Natalie lay sprawled out on Kate's bed in front of the air conditioner, too hot to move. Kate was busily applying makeup and doing her hair in preparation for the shoot. After putting the finishing touches on her hair, Kate said

"Nat! Come, on! We're running late already."

Natalie groaned as she slowly stood up and gathered her long hair into a ponytail. "Why does this sound so familiar? Oh, I know why."

"Maybe because last time we saw Hanson you were as reluctant to go as you are now?" Kate chirped innocently, her large brown eyes regarding her friend. "However, I seem to remember you enjoying yourself."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you're dragging me to one of their shows again." Natalie grumbled as she pulled on her sneakers.

"It's not like we're actually going to the concert, Nat. The fashion show just happens to be before it. Might as well stay for it. Besides, just admit you want to see them again. They're even bigger hotties now than they were then."

Natalie rolled her eyes. She finished tying her sneakers and stood up. She gave her friend a look. "I don't really care." She said honestly. "It's you who wants to see them again. Zac, to be specific, I'm sure."

Kate studied herself in the mirror. "So maybe I do. Guilty as charged."

Natalie hesitated for a moment, but decided to say it anyway.

"It's been two years, Kate. I doubt he'll recognize you if he sees you again."

Kate shrugged. "Zac? Maybe he will, maybe he won't."

Natalie just shook her head and chuckled. Kate had an agenda, for sure. Natalie just wasn't sure what it was yet.

\---

Later That Evening

The Tabernacle

Natalie sat in the front row of the fashion show, watching her friend model Macy's newest junior's fashions. Kate looked great as usual, and all the clothing seemed made for her. Kate had been told she would get to keep all the clothes she modeled that afternoon. Natalie was jealous, to be sure. As usual, in her jeans, sneakers and t-shirt, she looked ordinary next to Kate. Not that Natalie wasn't pretty - she was and knew it, but it was a different kind of pretty than Kate.

The runway was set up right in front of the stage, in the area where the orchestra pit would be if there was one. Apparently, after the fashion show, the platform would be taken away, and the floor would then open for general admission ticket holders.

Natalie clapped loudly as Kate walked the runway one last time. Natalie was eager for the show to be over. She wanted to be supportive, but was pretty bored. Fashion shows were definitely not her thing, she had decided. She got up and wandered backstage to the buffet table, which was open to all models, crew and attendees, and munched on some appetizers as she waited for Kate.

Kate and Natalie stood around for a while, waiting for the show to start, chatting with other girls from the fashion show. When the show started, Kate had dragged Natalie up to the front of the stage. They were standing on the right in front of Taylor. She had VIP tickets of course, which allowed her into the special VIP area. Natalie appreciated this because it was much less cramped than the other sides of the stage, which was apparently called "This Time Around" as Taylor had mentioned more than once during their set.

As the set wore on, Natalie had a good view of Taylor, and had to admit he was really good-looking. Kate was right. All three of them had grown up a lot in the past two years. She began to get a little excited about talking to Taylor again, and when he caught her eye and smiled during If Only, she smiled back. Natalie noticed that Kate was definitely in her element. She spent the show dancing happily, and even singing along. Natalie was surprised. She hadn't known Kate even had Hanson's new album.

As the last chords of the encore faded out, Taylor and Isaac came up and joined hands, followed by Zac. They gave one last bow, and Zac threw his drumsticks into the crowd as he often did.

Now, if Natalie had been paying attention, instead of texting her friend Clara on her new cellular phone, she would have seen the drumsticks coming, headed towards her face. But she didn't. They hit her square in the face and clattered to the ground. She yelped and held her face.

"Owww." she muttered. Kate turned and saw Natalie holding her face. She immediately asked what had happened.

"He hit me with his drumsticks." Natalie mumbled, bending over and picking them up and handing them to Kate with disdain.

Natalie could tell Kate was trying not to laugh.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked.

"I'm fine." Natalie grumbled, taking out a small mirror from her purse and inspecting her face. It looked alright. She was lucky it hadn't hit her in the eye. Kate clapped and cheered as the guys left the stage. The lights came up and fans started leaving the area.

A large welt was forming on Natalie's forehead in the shape of a drum stick head. If Natalie hadn't been so upset, Kate may have laughed at how comical it looked. "Let's go get you some ice." Kate said, leading her friend gently backstage to the concession staging area.

"This is so embarrassing." Natalie grumbled, sitting down on a chair as Kate held an ice pack to her head. "I knew I shouldn't have gone to this show."

"Sorry." Kate said, frowning. "But hey, at least I got a fun souvenir!" she said, referring to the drum sticks. Natalie rolled her eyes, and took the ice pack from Kate.

"Why don't you go see if you can find Zac? I know that's what you want to do. I'm fine."

Kate smiled and hugged her friend. "Okay. I'll come get you when I can."

And with that, she was gone, headed to the green room.

Natalie sighed, and took out her phone. She texted her friend Clara in Atlanta:

[10:05 pm] Hey grrl. What R U up to? I'm still at the show.

Natalie sat glumly and waited for a response. When it became obvious that Kate wasn't coming back, and Clara wasn't getting back to her, Natalie got up and wandered around the backstage area.

Natalie didn't want to be angry at Kate for ditching her, she knew how much Kate liked the guys and didn't blame her for wanting to take advantage of the opportunity to be backstage. But Natalie couldn't help but feel resentful. Sometimes she wondered why Kate was even friends with her. Sometimes she felt like Kate's sidekick more than her friend.

Natalie rounded a corner and found herself in a room full of clothing racks filled with clothing. She assumed they were left over from the fashion show earlier. In the back of the room, the loading dock was open and she could see a few men slowly loading the clothing back into a big Macy's truck. She wandered over to the nearest rack and looked through the clothing. Most of it didn't appeal to her - too frilly or glittery - but a red hat caught her attention. She put it on and admired herself in a nearby mirror. She stole a glance at the man loading the clothing and considered for a moment stealing the hat, then sighed and thought better of it. She slowly took it off and returned it to the rack. She spent some more time browsing the racks, waiting for Kate to come find her - but she never did. Natalie wasn't surprised. She figured she'd probably found Zac and has completely forgotten about her. She checked her watch. It had been over an hour since Kate left her. Natalie sighed and turned around, figuring she should go look for Kate.

Natalie walked down what she thought was the same corridor that would lead her back to the main backstage area where she'd last seen Kate. When she rounded a corner, she found herself face to face with Taylor. She had to stop short to avoid colliding with him. Her cheeks turned bright red with embarrassment.

"Uh, sorry." She mumbled, looking at the ground and she kept walking, too embarrassed to talk to him.

"Hey!" he said, "wait, come back!"

Natalie stopped and turned around.

"Hey, why'd you take it off? It looked good on you." he said.

"What?" She asked.

"The hat. It looked good on you."

Natalie just stood there awkwardly, unsure what to say. "Were you...watching me?"

"No, not really. I just saw you try it on. Your friend Kate sent me to look for you. She's in the green room talking to Zac. I'll show you where it is."

Natalie wasn't at all surprised. Taylor motioned for her to follow him. Natalie did so.

"How'd you get that bruise?" he asked conversationally, motioning to his forehead as they walked.

"Actually, your brother hit me in the face with his drumsticks."

Taylor laughed, then stopped when he saw the look on Natalie's face.

"I'm sorry, but that's really funny."

"To you, maybe."

Taylor changed the subject, sensing he'd embarrassed Natalie.

"They're really hitting it off."

"Kate and Zac? Yeah? I'm not surprised. She's got a thing for him, has since we saw you guys two years ago."

Taylor raised an eyebrow and looked over at Natalie. "She's a fan? Kate?"

Natalie nodded.

Taylor seemed really surprised by that.

"Are you?"

"No, not really. I mean, it's not like I hate your music, I'm not just not, uh really a fan."

Taylor nodded thoughtfully. They approached the green room, and Taylor opened the door.

"Ladies first." he said, motioning for Natalie to walk in.

"There you are!'" Kate squealed, hopping off the couch. "I see you've met Taylor."

"I have." Natalie replied, sitting down on a chair across from the couch.

She looked around. Kate and Zac were sitting surprisingly close on the couch, while Isaac was lounging on a large arm chair drinking a Pepsi, talking on his cell phone. He waved at Natalie and mouthed "hello." Natalie waved back.

"Sorry I left you so long. I thought you'd find us, but when you didn't, I sent Taylor to look for you."

The teens spent the next couple hours hanging out in the green room. Zac and Kate were sort of in their own little world, chatting quietly in the corner, while Isaac, Taylor and Natalie hung out and talked. After a while, Natalie started to feel more at ease. The guys were, well at least Taylor, were pretty normal guys. They didn't seem like celebrities. They were friendly and normal and kind of dorks, actually. Natalie left to use the restroom and when she returned found herself alone with Taylor in the green room.

"Where'd everyone go?" She asked.

"Zac wanted to give Kate the "tour" whatever that means. I think that means the bus." he winked. "Isaac went to sleep. It's been a long day."

"Great." Natalie grumbled under her breath, gathering her purse. "I should go after her. I don't want to lose her again. She's my ride."

"Okay. I'll take you there." Taylor said, motioning for her to follow him out the door.

As they walked, Taylor studied Natalie. There was something about her he liked, but he couldn't pinpoint it. She was pretty, he admitted, but it was more than that. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn't a fan. Or that it seemed like she wasn't that into him. Taylor could barely remember the last time he'd interacted with a girl his age who wasn't a fan. Whatever it was, Natalie had it, and Taylor was interested in getting to know her better.

"I like that you didn't scream in my face when you met me." Taylor admitted as they approached the tour bus. Natalie shrugged. Taylor knocked on the door of the bus.

"Hey bro. In case you're doing anything you shouldn't be, we're coming in in 2.1 seconds."

Taylor and Natalie walked into the bus to see Zac and Kate sitting together on the couch. Zac rolled his eyes.

"What did you think we were doing, Tay?"

Taylor shrugged. "Who knows with your dirty mind." he retorted. Zac blushed.

Kate laughed. "Dirty mind, huh?" she joked, mock-shoving him. "Well, keep it away from me. I'm a lady."

Zac smiled but didn't say anything, and Natalie rolled her eyes.

Natalie watched Kate interacting with Zac, and realized she'd never seen Kate flirt so shamelessly with a guy. Zac was definitely interested too, that was obvious. Natalie felt jealous in a way. She wished she could find a guy that she just clicked with right away. She thought Taylor was cute, obviously, but she was sure he wasn't into her.

She sat back glumly in her chair and sighed, looking at her watch. She wondered how long Kate would want to hang out. Natalie was tired and wanted to go home.

Taylor looked over at her and smiled, looking kind of apologetic, like he knew how much it must have sucked for Natalie to have to tag along while her friend hit on his brother. She smiled back and admitted to herself that he was pretty cute. Maybe they could be friends after all. She'd like that.

\---

September 14

Washington, DC

Warner Theater

It had been almost a month since that night that Zac had reconnected with Kate, and Natalie had met Taylor. The tour was in full swing still. Zac hadn't seen Kate since that night, but he had talked to her on the phone numerous times, and it was clear that he really liked her.

It was chaos that evening at the venue. Everything that could have gone wrong had, and everyone was stressed. They had arrived at the venue late due to unforeseen weather conditions, and were hustling to catch up for an on-time start for the concert that evening. On top of that the lights had blown a fuse and Zac's kit had gotten broken in transit. Hanson's manager, Stirling, was accustomed to the unusual and grueling schedules of touring, but the guys weren't. The stress of the tour was starting to wear on them, Zac especially. The youngest Hanson was in a foul mood that evening, but Stirling was committed to not letting it interfere with the show.

"Zac?" Stirling asked as he entered the green room. Zac was sitting on the armchair playing on his Gameboy.

"Zac? What are you doing? We need you in sound check."

Zac didn't look up from his handheld gaming device. "I'm skipping it today, Stirling. Tay is being a dick, and besides, we know all these songs like the back of our hands. We wrote them, after all, remember?"

Stirling stared at Zac, not amused. By now, he knew he should be used to the teenagers unpredictable and recently, becoming more common - mood swings, but he wasn't. Stirling didn't have kids of his own. Stirling had grown to love the guys like his own sons, but at the end of the day, this was business, how he made his living, and he didn't have the time, or frankly the patience, for teenage drama - especially Zac's, which to Stirling, seemed particularly bad.

"That's not the point, Zac. We need to test the equipment. You know the drill."

Zac looked up from his Gameboy. "I'm serious, Stirling. I'm sitting this one out. Tay can test the drums."

Stirling looked at Zac and saw the look on his face, and decided it wasn't worth the fight. He just hoped he'd be in a better mood by showtime.

"Fine." Stirling mumbled, "No sound check. But don't think you're getting out of showing the M2M girls around. They're arriving in around an hour, and I need you to show them around and get them settled."

"Why don't they have to do a soundcheck?" Zac asked sarcastically.

Stirling decided to not answer that.

"Look Zac, I don't know what little hormonal, teenage meltdown you're having today, but this is no place for it. Act like the professional I know you can be." And with that he walked out of the room, slamming the green room door behind him.

"Asshole." Zac muttered, going back to his game.

\--

Isaac and Taylor had just finished sound check and were lounging in the green room when Stirling walked in, accompanied by two young women.

"Guys, this is Marion and Marit, otherwise known as M2M."

M2M, comprised of Marion Raven and Marit Larsen, were a teenage pop duo from Norway. They had been chosen by Stirling to open the second leg of the tour due to their music being similar to Hanson's. Stirling believed they'd get a better response than Neve did. Secretly, he'd been hoping they'd do as well as Michelle did. The fans had loved Michelle. He hoped they'd embrace M2M as well.

Isaac and Taylor immediately got up and exchanged pleasantries, shaking the girl's hands and expressing how excited they were to have them there as openers. Zac, however, stayed on the couch, and made no effort to be friendly and welcoming. Stirling gave him a stern look, and Zac just stared back.

"Zac, why don't you give the girls a tour? Show them the space? They've already unloaded their instruments."

"We would love that!" Marion said and looked at Zac expectedly. Zac sighed and stood up.

"Sure. No problem."

"Great." Stirling said, "we'll see you all back here in 30."

Taylor said something about needing to call someone, and Isaac headed off to tune his guitar some more, which left Zac alone in the green room with Marit and Marion.

Zac took a moment to study the two girls. They were both around his age, he guessed. Marion had long, dark hair. Marit had her blonde hair cut in a shorter, more trendy style. Both were very pretty. They both looked at him excitedly.

"Well, follow me I guess. I'll give you the master tour." He said, walking to the door.

"We are so excited to be here." Marion said, following closely behind him. "We've never been to America." Marion had an accent Zac found really pleasant. He liked her right away.

"Really?" Zac asked as he escorted them out the door. That surprised him. He knew their group was doing really well in Norway. They'd already released a record that had gone platinum on their charts. He was surprised they hadn't toured in the US.

"Really." she replied, smiling sideways at Zac. He smiled back, her smile was contagious, and she just had a positive energy around her that drew Zac to her.

It didn't take long for the three to become fast friends. By the time they got back from the tour, Zac was smiling and laughing and Stirling breathed a sigh of relief. He figured these girls may not be so bad after all, and that maybe, just maybe, with the help of them and their unrelenting optimism, he'd get through this tour.

\---

The Next Week

Detroit, Michigan

Practically since the two had met, Zac and Marion had been inseparable. It seemed like he has all but forgotten about Kate, or at least that was how it seemed to Taylor, who was starting to get sick of Zac talking about Marion all the time. The two were lounging in the bus before the show as they usually did. It wasn't just Zac who'd hit it off with their new opener - Isaac had also formed a quick connection with Marit. Fans had responded positively to M2M, the tour was going well, and despite their exhaustion, everyone was trying hard to be in good spirits.

That afternoon, Zac was amusing himself by muttering to himself as he wrote lyrics down in this book. Isaac was half-heartedly strumming on his guitar. Marit was sitting next to him, writing in her journal. Taylor was sitting on the opposite couch, too exhausted to do anything but just sit. To the outside eye, they looked like a group of content teenagers, but anyone close to them knew better. Zac was exhausted, and if he had his way, they'd cut the tour short and go home. Taylor was stressed and had been fighting with both of his brothers. Isaac, as the tour went on, seemed to take it less seriously. He seemed more interested in spending time with Marit than playing music. Taylor was fighting to keep moral up with the group, he knew that was his unofficial job, but sometimes resented being in that role.

The tour was halfway into its second leg, and the guys knew they still had two more months of touring ahead of them. They all loved performing, but felt that Stirling and Island Def Jam were working them too hard. The grueling schedule may have been easier to stomach if they felt that they were being respected by their label, but they didn't feel that way. They felt more like an image that Stirling was trying to make as much money from as possible, without any consideration for their wants, needs, or vision for their band. All three guys had started to rebel. Zac's way of rebelling was to talk back and refuse to rehearse. Taylor refused to agree to extend the tour into Europe, which Stirling wanted. Isaac had started drinking before shows, which affected his ability to perform. Sometimes Taylor felt he was the only one who cared about the band anymore.

Taylor missed Michelle. Most of the time he was too busy to really think about her, but late at night, when he lay down in his bunk, exhausted, he thought of her. He wished she was still on tour with him. He called her sometimes,and she was always happy to hear from him, but she was so busy with her own tour, he didn't want to burden her too much. Zac and Marion had become close, having spent almost all their time together for the past week, and same with Isaac and Marit. Taylor had tried to stay to himself mostly, trying to focus on the music and interacting with fans. He wished he had a girl around he liked, like his brothers did.

Zac's cell phone rang. He looked at it, saw the number and smiled, and stepped outside the bus to take the call.

"Wonder who that is." Maron mused, looking over at Marit, who shrugged.

"I bet it's Kate." Isaac said, and instantly regretted it when he saw the look on Marit's face.

"Who?" Marion asked, furrowing her brow.

"Just a friend of ours." Isaac said quickly, looking over at Taylor helplessly.

Marion frowned, sensing she wasn't being told something. She got up and walked over to the window, pulling the curtain over. She watched Zac talk on the phone for a while, before quietly walking back to her bunk and closing the curtain. Marit watched her and then looked back at Isaac, sighing.

"Great job, Ike. Why'd you have to mention Kate? You know that's a touchy subject with them."

"I thought he had stopped talking to Kate." Taylor said.

"No. He hasn't. Marion thinks he still likes her." Marit said.

Zac walked back into the bus to find Marit, Isaac and Taylor glaring at him.

"Where's Marion?" He asked innocently, looking around.

"She went to her bunk." Marit said.

"Was that Kate?" Taylor asked.

Zac nodded. "She's wants to come visit us in Chicago when we're there. She has an aunt she can stay with."

"Doesn't' she have school?" Isaac asked, shifting in his seat and putting his arm around Marit, who snuggled into him.

"I guess she has a break or something." Zac replied, shrugging.

Taylor had a lot to say on the subject, but knew it wasn't the time to get into an argument with Zac, right before a show. Instead, he got up and got a soda out of the mini fridge and said, "we need to be inside in 15. "

Zac, nodded and without another word, slipped behind the curtain which led to the back of the bus where the bunks were located, presumably to talk to Marion.

Zac gone, Marit gave Taylor a look. "You need to talk to Zac. Marion knows he's still talking to Kate, and she's not happy about it."

"It's none of my business." Taylor said evenly, even though he agreed with Marit.

They could hear Zac and Marion's muffled voices behind the curtain, and It was obvious Marion was upset. Her voice was raised, but the three couldn't make out what they were discussing. Zac reappeared from behind the curtaIn, pulling on a different shirt.

"Showtime, huh?" He said simply, grinning, walking towards the door, motioning for the three to follow. "Oh, and Kate's bringing Natalie along. Apparently, she's been asking about you, Tay," he added, glancing at Taylor as he disappeared out the door.

Isaac raised his eyebrows, looking over at Taylor, who just sighed and shrugged. "I have no idea."

Marion emerged from the back, eyes slightly red. It was clear she had been crying, but no one knew what to say, so no one mentioned it.

Marit smiled sadly at her friend, but knew this wasn't the time to talk about what had happened.

"Who's Natalie?" Marit asked Isaac quietly, as they were walking out the door.

"Just Kate's friend."

\---

October 2

Night 1

Chicago, IL

House of Blues

Marion and Zac were having an argument in the green room. They'd been fighting a lot the last week, mostly over the fact that Zac had been talking to Kate on the phone a lot. He insisted they were just friends, but Marion knew Kate's intentions regarding Zac were less than pure.

"We're just friends, Marion. We met in Atlanta. She's really nice."

Marion crossed her arms and glared at Zac.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Zac said. "You're my girl." He said, pulling her close and kissing her softly on the lips.

Marion kissed Zac back, running her hands through his long hair.

"That's right, because I'm awesome." She muttered, kissing him one last time, grabbing his hand and walking away, dragging him behind her towards the buffet table.

"Let's get something to eat before we need to be on stage."

"Sounds good to me." Zac said, smiling. "I'll meet you out there."

Zac watched Marion walk out the door then took his phone out of his pocket. He opened the last text from Kate.

Hey babe. Have a good show tonite. Call me after?

Zac texted a quick reply.

Yup, talk to ya soon

He put his phone back in his pocket and walked out the door.

\---

Later that evening

After the show, Marit, Marion and Zac were enjoying the post-show high, lounging, joking and laughing in the green room, when Zac's phone rang.

"Be back in a sec, babe." Zac said to Marion, getting up without even looking at his phone.

Marion watched Zac walk out the door, but didn't say anything. Marit could tell she was upset. Marit knew her friend to have a tough skin, and tried to not let things bother her, but Marit knew she really liked Zac.

"Marion, Ike told me they're just friends." Marit said.

"Then why is he always talking to her on the phone?" Marion asked exasperated. "What are they even talking about?"

Marit shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, I know what she's doing. Her good girl act doesn't fool me." Marion said evenly.

Marit sighed, frustrated at seeing her friend upset. Marion was a great girl, and deserved a guy who appreciated and only wanted her.

Almost as if on cue, Zac walked in smiling.

"Guess what? Kate's coming to visit tomorrow. She's going to see the show."

Both Marit and Marion just stared at him.

"This is so not a good idea." Marit muttered.

\---

The Next Evening

Chicago, IL

Night 2

As promised, Kate had come to Chicago to visit Zac, and had brought Natalie along. Natalie, Taylor, Zac, Kate and Marion were enjoying some much needed free time on the patio of their hotel when Isaac walked out, telling Taylor he had a phone call on the hotel room phone. Marit was asleep in the next room.

"It's Michelle." Isaac said, winking at Taylor as he walked in to take the call. Taylor just rolled his eyes at his brother's lewdness, but rushed inside.

This left just Natalie, Zac, Marion and Kate. Tension was high with Marion and Zac since Kate had arrived earlier that day. It seemed to Marion that Zac and Kate had known eachother for years, or at least that's how they acted. Kate laughed at everything Zac said, even when it wasn't funny. It was obvious to everyone what was going on, but Zac apparently didn't have a clue. Marion wouldn't stand for it. As soon as she had Kate alone, she planned to tell her exactly what she thought of boyfriend-stealers.

Eventually, Zac went inside to take a shower, And Natalie followed, presumably to find Taylor. This left Marion and Kate alone sitting opposite each other at the patio table. This was Marion's chance, she wasn't going to squander it.

"I know what you're doing, and you're not fooling me." Marion said.

Kate's large brown eyes widened innocently. "What are you talking about, Marion?" she asked sweetly, feigning confusion.

"Zac is my boyfriend, okay?"

Kate nodded. "I know. I have a boyfriend too, you know. In Atlanta. I'm not trying to steal Zac from you."

Marion didn't believe that for a second.

"Why'd you come all the way here, then?"

"Because we're friends, Marion. And Natalie kind of has a thing for Taylor. You know, you sound really jealous. I don't think Zac likes that."

Marion felt like clawing Kate's eyes out, but instead she smiled and said

"I'm not jealous. I just wanted to make sure you knew that we were a couple."

Kate smiled sweetly back. "Of course." She took a sip of her drink and then added nonchalantly, "well, you two will have to break up when the tour's over anyway, right? I mean, you live in, what, Norway right? I mean, Zac lives in Tulsa, as you know I'm sure."

Thankfully, right then, Taylor and Natalie walked out. Natalie took one look at Marion and Kate and could sense the tension. She looked at Taylor who, catching on, quickly said.

"Well, who wants to order room service?"

\---

October 26, 2000

Mexico City

It had been almost a month since Zac had seen Kate, and Marion hoped he had really forgotten about her for good. That night's show, at the Sports Palace, was to be the last show M2M would open for them, and everyone was feeling the weight of that that evening. Isaac and Marit had decided to keep dating long distance beyond the tour, but Marion and Zac hadn't discussed what they planned to do once the girls left the tour.

Marion and Zac were inseparable as always. At Marion's insistence, Zac had stopped responding to Kate's calls. Taylor still talked to Michelle here and there, and him and Natalie had been talking on the phone. He liked Natalie, and Natalie liked him. Marit and Isaac were going strong, both really glum at the fact that they'd soon have to part. They had all become close while touring together, and they'd all miss each other.

Marit and Marion walked on stage for the last time, smiling but feeling sad inside. They played a new song from their upcoming album, "Mirror, Mirror" and were pleased when the crowd reacted positively to it.

That night, instead of going back to the green room or the bus as they usually did, they stood backstage and watched Hanson's set.

Later that evening, the teens sat glumly in their bus, half-heartedly eating some pizza they'd ordered. Marit picked at her slice, and sighed.

"I'm really going to miss you guys." Marit said sadly, looking over at Taylor and Zac, who sat together across from her and Isaac.

"Me too. It's been so great having you two on the tour." Taylor said genuinely. He'd become close with Marit, who was an incredibly nice girl.

"But you two are going to be so busy touring when your new album drops, you'll forget all about us." Taylor said.

"Not a chance." Marion said, shaking her head. "We'll remember this forever."

"Me too." Zac said as he gave Marion a kiss.

There was silence while the teens let sink in the fact that they would no longer be together in one room ever again.

"Well, we have one more night. Let's make it count." Isaac said, standing up. "We're in Mexico! Let's party!"

The rest just stared at him.

"But we're underage. We can't drink, or get in anywhere." Taylor pointed out.

"Buzzkill." Isaac muttered, sitting back down.

\---

Marion and Marit left the next morning. It was a long drive to Phoenix, which Zac was thankful for. Saying goodbye to Marion had been rough, and he needed time alone. He spent the entire drive in his bunk, alone, headphones on, curtain drawn. Taylor sat and stared out the window, watching the desert roll by. Isaac sat opposite Taylor, doodling in his songbook.

"I am really tired. Like, really, really tired." Isaac said suddenly.

Taylor nodded. "Me too."

"Phoenix is our last date in the US." Isaac said, "then, on to Chile, Brazil and Argentina. It feels so crazy saying that, you know?"

Taylor nodded. "Yeah, it's a total trip."

The two boys sat there, both lost in their own thoughts, exhausted.

"We can do this, Ike." Taylor said, but he wasn't sure he believed it.

\---

November 1, 2000

Chile

Zac felt his phone buzz in his pocket again. He sighed, and took it out. It was Marion. Again. Since they'd left the tour back in Mexico city, she'd been calling him non-stop. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her, it was just that he was so busy with the tour, and so exhausted, and so emotionally drained, he just didn't have the energy to talk to her. He knew she'd ask if she could visit him. Zac sighed and put the phone back in his pocket, her call unanswered.

It was a warm and sunny day in Chile. He gazed out his hotel window and watched people walking down the street below. He sighed and stood up, turning up the air conditioning. He had the room to himself, and was more than happy to take advantage of it. He usually shared a room with Taylor, but they hadn't been getting along lately, so this time he had elected to share one with Isaac. However, much to Zac's delight, Isaac had been gone all day, off exploring the city with their father. Taylor was staying in the room next door, sharing it with their roadies.

Zac walked over to the television and sat down heavily on the bed. He half-heartedly picked up the remote and starting flipping channels. Nothing interested him, and all the programming looked so unfamiliar and foreign to him. A news broadcast caught his attention, and he tossed the remote down, laying back on the bed to watch.

There was a loud knock on the door. He ignored it.

"Zac? Are you in there? Zac?"

Zac recognized Taylor's voice. He groaned, got up and walked over to the door. He opening it, scowling.

"What do you want? I'm trying to have some space before the show tonight."

Taylor sighed. "I know, Zac. But look, Marion has called my phone twice. Can you please call her back? She sounds upset. She says she can't get ahold of you."

Zac rolled his eyes. "I'll call her back when I feel like it."

Taylor shook his head at Zac's bratty attitude.

"She's your girlfriend, Zac. Don't be a dick."

"Yeah, okay, thanks for the advice." Zac said, closing the door in Taylor's face.

Zac walked back to the bed and sat back down, grabbing the remote and switching off the television. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Marion's phone number. She answered after one ring. Zac had a feeling she'd been waiting by the phone.

"Hello? Zac?" she asked hopefully.

"Hey babe." Zac said half-heartedly. "How are you?"

"I'm so glad to hear from you! Guess what?"

"What?"

"I can come visit you in Argentina! Marit, too. My agent is going to pay for it. He has some promo gig he wants us to play while we're there to promote the new album."

Argentina was their next stop on the tour, they were playing two nights in a row.

"Wow, uh...that's great." Zac said, but his heart wasn't in it.

He chatted with Marion for a bit more, then made an excuse to get off the phone, saying he needed to be in sound check. She promised to call him the following day with more details on when they'd be arriving. The truth was, Zac didn't really want Marion to visit. He felt bad for feeling that way. It wasn't that he didn't still like her - he did - his heart just wasn't in it anymore.

The truth was, Zac knew it wasn't going to work to date Marion long-distance, and he regretted agreeing to try to. He knew it wasn't fair to her. He decided he would tell her it wasn't going to work when she came to visit. He didn't want to break up with her on the phone, and it was clear she had her heart set on visiting them in Argentina. He also reasoned that if he told her on the phone, she would be angry and not come. She was bringing Marit along to visit Isaac, and Zac knew his brother really missed Marit and wanted to see her.

Zac decided to leave his phone in the drawer of his bedstand that night.


	5. "Dream Girl"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zac's love life becomes more complicated. Michelle attends a BBQ at the Hanson's house.

  


  
-  
See you in my dreams  
And you are so fair  
I tried so hard to find you  
But you were never there  
You're my dream girl  
And none can compare  
-  


November 4, 2000  
Argentina  
Night 1

The last leg of the tour had proved to be more expensive than Stirling had anticipated. The shows had not gone well in Chile, and Stirling was not happy. The tour had been exhausting for all involved - but it had hit Zac worst of all. He and Taylor had had a huge fight in Chile, it had gotten so bad their father had to mediate. All Zac wanted to do was sleep, but instead, he had to be up early to do a radio show. He was not a happy camper that morning.

The guys had a long day ahead of them. After the radio interview, it was back to the hotel for some down time, then sound check, then a Meet and Greet before the show. Sometime during all this, Marit and Marion would be meeting them at the hotel. Their manager had gotten them a room in the same hotel as Hanson.

The three guys were sitting quietly in the back seat of their rental car, being driven by Stirling to a local radio station where they were to do an interview to help promote their shows that weekend. 

Zac was in a foul mood and was not currently speaking to Taylor.

Isaac decided to break the awkward silence. 

"I'm really stoked to see Marit today. I can't believe her agents are paying for them to come down here. Are you excited to see Marion?" he asked Zac.

Zac shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

Taylor rolled his eyes, and Isaac sighed, shooting Taylor a look.

"Come on, Zac. We know you're tired, and mad at Tay, but let's just try to enjoy the rest of the tour okay? I mean, we're in Argenfreakintina! It's so cool, right? Before you know it, we'll be back in T-Town with nothing to do, as usual." 

Zac just stared out the window. "Look, I wouldn't be mad at Tay if he wasn't such a dick sometimes."

Taylor rolled his eyes. "A dick? Really? Because I want you to pull your weight with the band? Stop being such a brat, Zac. Get over yourself and grow up."

The two glared at each other. Isaac sighed and ran his hands through his hair. 

"Look guys, just cut it out, okay? This isn't helping. Let's just get through this interview. Then we can go back to the hotel and hang out with our girls and relax before the show."

Zac just glared at Isaac.

"It's going to be a long day." Taylor muttered, pulling his hood up and closing his eyes.

\---

Taylor, Isaac, Stirling, and Zac were seated at a round table with two DJs from ESTUDIO ABIERTO radio. They had already been interviewed by the DJ, and were about to start the last segment of the program, which involved answering fans' questions that were called in. They had just returned from a commercial break.

The DJ smiled a mega-watt smile at the guys and clicked on a button on the soundboard.

"Hello Argentina! If you just tuned in, you are listening to ESTUDIO ABIERTO, Argentina's premier hit music radio station! We have the boys from Hanson here with us today, ready to answer any questions! Which takes me to the next question, from Lily...Lily, are you on the line with us?" 

"Uh, hi?" a female voice came through the speakers.

The DJ motioned for Taylor to answer.

"Uh, hey...Lily?" Taylor said hesitantly into his mic. No matter how many radio interviews he'd done, he could never get used to the round mics. Talking into them always felt awkward to him.

"Taylor?! OMG! Hi" Lily squealed. 

Zac cringed, and the DJ chuckled. 

"Omg it is really you! I am your biggest fan!" The girl insisted. 

"Do you uh, have a question?" Taylor asked gently.

"Oh, yes! Um, do you have a girlfriend?" she asked brazenly. 

Everyone laughed at that. 

"Uh, no...." Taylor said, blushing.

"Would you ever date a fan?" The girl asked.

Taylor laughed. "Um, sure, if she didn't scream in my face and treated me like a real person, yeah I would - "

The DJ cut in.

"Lily! Thank you so much for calling, but only one question allowed per caller! It was great to have you on the line. For calling in, you win two Meet and Greet passes to tonight's show!"

Taylor cringed and Zac laughed, knowing full well that Taylor didn't want to meet this girl.

The rest of the interview went well. Taylor was relieved he wasn't asked again if he had a girlfriend. The truth was, Taylor immediately had thought of Michelle when asked that question, but felt stupid thinking that, because she definitely wasn't his girlfriend. He hadn't even seen her since August.

\---

Later that day

The boys and Stirling arrived back at the hotel to find Marion and Marit waiting for them in the lobby. 

Marit and Isaac immediately hugged, and chatting excitedly, ran off to Isaac's room.

"Zac!" Marion said as soon as she saw him, and leaped off her chair to give him a big kiss. Zac kissed her back half-heartedly. 

"It's so good to see you." she exclaimed, smiling broadly. Zac smiled, despite himself. It was hard to not smile around Marion. She was so bright and cheerful. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, brow furrowing, and tucking a strand of blonde hair behind his ear. She sensed something was up immediately.

"Nothing, babe. Just tired. I'm so happy to see you." 

The two walked hand in hand back up to his room. Marion had a bad feeling. She held his hand tight, and tried to not let it worry her. She was with him now, and that's all that mattered. Zac wasn't acting himself. She decided she'd wait until after the show that night to ask him about it. 

\---

That Evening

The guys had not been prepared for the enthusiasm their Argentinian fans would bring. The first night's Meet and Greet had been such a disaster, Stirling had decided to cancel the second night's, and no one argued. A male fan had grabbed and tried to kiss Taylor, while another, a girl, had asked Zac, right in front of Marion, if she could take his virginity. The guys were not used to interacting with such sexually-forward and free-spirited girls, and they were taken aback. Walker was disgusted, and asked to cancel the second one. Stirling obliged. The guys were relieved. It was just one less thing for them to have to do.

Marit usually just laughed it off when fans came on to Isaac, but it really bothered Marion when the same thing happened to Zac. She knew it was part of the job, that dating Zac meant she'd have to deal with other girls fawning all over him - and usually she was okay with all the attention he got, but Argentina girls were another breed entirely...they were aggressive and rude. Marion did not like them. At all.

The show had gone well, but all five teens were exhausted, and all called it a night early. Marion and Marit were sharing a room next door to the one Isaac, Taylor, and Zac were sharing. Though they had promised Walker and Stirling they would sleep in their own rooms, Marion and Marit quietly snuck over to the guys room once they were sure Walker and Stirling had gone to sleep.

Isaac had fallen asleep, and Taylor, who was feeling a bit third-wheel, left to go hang out in the room with the back-up band and roadies. Zac was in the shower.

"Zac has been acting weird since I got here." Marion said sadly. "But he won't tell me what's up."

"I think he's just tired, Mar. It's been a long tour for them. I'm sure he's really happy to see you."

Marion shrugged. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

Marit could tell her friend didn't believe that.

Zac came out of the bathroom wearing a towel.

"Where's Tay?" he asked, looking around.

"Next door." Marit replied. "With the band."

Zac walked out without saying as much as a word to Marion. Marion noticed he took his phone with him.

The look on Marion's face broke Marit's heart. It was clear Zac was no longer interested in her, and Marit knew it was only a matter of time until Zac dumped her. 

After a while, Zac returned and informed Marit he wanted to go to bed. Marit took that as a hint to leave and go next door to her own room.

Zac got into bed.

Marion stood there awkwardly, unsure if she should ask to stay or follow Marit to their room.

She decided to just go right out and ask. 

"Can I stay?" 

Zac seemed to hesitate before answering. 

"You probably shouldn't. If Dad found out, he'd have a cow. I'll see you in the morning, though, okay?" 

"Okay," Marion said quietly. She kissed him and left, quietly shutting the door behind her. Zac turned the light off before the door was even fully closed.

Marion was angry and hurt. She was only here for two nights, and her boyfriend didn't even want her to stay the night with him? They weren't having sex, they had both mutually agreed they were too young for that, but they did mess around and rarely had the privacy to do so. Why didn't Zac want her anymore? Marion decided to forgo going back to her and Marit's room, and went over to the roadies room instead. She wanted to talk to Taylor. Maybe he would have some insight on what was going on with Zac.

She knocked lightly. 

"Come in!" 

Marion walked in to see Taylor alone watching watching television. 

She sat down next to Taylor glumly. "Where's everyone else" she asked.

"The restaurant." He replied.

"Oh."

"What's wrong?" Taylor asked her, he immediately could tell something was wrong. "Where's Zac? I figured you two would be in there making out." he joked. 

Marion sighed. "I wish. He's asleep."

"What? This early? Wow." Taylor said, switching the channel.

"Taylor, can I ask you something?" 

"Sure. What's up?"

"You have to be honest."

"Scouts honor." Taylor said. 

"Has Zac said anything to you about me?"

"Like, what do you mean?" 

The truth was, Taylor knew what Marion was referring too, and it was, in fact, part of why he wasn't getting along with Zac lately. Taylor knew Zac had been talking to Kate again, and he didn't approve. Taylor loved Marion like a sister, and the last thing he wanted was to see her hurt. In Chile, He had overheard Zac making plans to see Kate on the phone when the tour was over, presumably over her holiday break from school. Taylor had confronted Zac about it, reminding him that he'd promised Marion he was no longer talking to Kate. They had a big fight, which had contributed to why the shows went so badly. Stirling was upset, and to punish the guys, he had made Taylor and Zac share a room, which was why Taylor was hanging around in the roadies' room... to avoid Zac. 

Though he knew it would hurt her, Tayor knew the right thing to do was to tell Marion what was going on.

He hesitated before answering. "He started talking to her again after you two left the tour last month. I think he's planning to see her once the tour is over."

After hearing this, Marion looked like she was about to cry, and Taylor regretted telling her.

Taylor scooted closer to her on the couch and put his arm around her.

"I'm sorry, Mar. You deserve better. Zac's an idiot." 

The two sat in silence for a bit, Marion sniffling while Taylor held her, the two gazing at the television, which was playing some weird Argentinian game show.

"Bitch." Marion said out of nowhere, and Taylor knew he was referring to Kate. "I hate her so much."

Taylor raised his eyebrows at her choice of language. It surprised him, for Marion was always so sweet and nice. He couldn't say he blamed her though. What Kate was doing was more than sleazy, it was downright mean.

"I'm really sorry, Marion. For what it's worth, I know he liked you a lot. But there is something about Kate, I don't know. He's fixated on her. I think he has been since the day he met her, way back on the Albertane tour."

Marion nodded, and took a deep breath. Taylor could tell she was trying not to cry. 

"Are you going to talk to him in the morning?" he asked.

She nodded. 

"Yup. You bet I am."

\--

The Next Morning  
Argentina  
Day 2

Zac walked in on Marion and Taylor asleep on the couch together the following morning, and he was not pleased. He shook Marion awake, and she sat up slowly and groggily, confused. 

"Where am I?" she asked sleepily, looking over at Taylor sleeping on the couch beside her. Slowly, it came back to her. She'd fallen asleep watching television with Taylor last night. She sat up and recalled the conversation she'd had with him last night about Zac. She felt sad, and wished it had been a dream.

"Wanna get some breakfast?" Zac asked, giving her a quick kiss, and smiling like nothing was wrong, though she could tell he wasn't happy to have found her snuggled up with his brother. Marion would play along. She would be patient and wait for the right time to confront Zac about Kate.

The two joined Isaac and Marit in the dining room for breakfast. 

Everyone made friendly banter and complained about the weird Argentinian food, but Marion was distracted and didn't join in. She ate in silence and watched Zac. He smiled and goofed around, in fact, she hadn't seen him in such a good mood in a while. She hoped what Taylor had said wasn't true, but she knew in her heart it was. She knew Zac had been involved with Kate before he met her, but he had promised to stop talking to her, and Marion had believed him. Marion felt betrayed. However, as much as she wanted to confront Zac now, she knew she should wait until after the show that evening. If they had a big fight, Zac would be upset and Stirling would be angry. Marion would just have to wait. 

After breakfast, the teens went their separate ways for the day: Isaac and Marit left, planning to spend the day sight-seeing and spending some quality time together. Taylor and Zac were off with their father and Stirling to do an interview for some Argentinian magazine, and Marit and Marion had the radio interview that their manager had set up to promote their upcoming album release. Marion was grateful for the space from Zac. She didn't know how she'd stomach spending the whole day with him like nothing was wrong when she knew he was basically cheating on her. She'd see him soon enough that evening anyway.

\---

That evening

"Great show, guys!" Stirling said, as he high fived the guys when they walked off the stage after the last and final show in Argentina. They all headed to the green room to hang out and wait for the crowd to disperse. They knew better than to go outside and sign autographs after what had happened last night. Argentina's fans were just too crazy. 

The group, Stirling included, enjoyed some pizza and everyone chatted happily. The show had gone well, and everyone was in good spirits. After a while, the crowd started to disperse. The roadies, Taylor, and their backup band headed back to load up the gear, Isaac and Marit disappeared off somewhere together, Stirling and Walker went back to the hotel to go to bed, which left Marion and Zac alone in the green room. Marion knew this was her chance. 

Marion was nervous to have this conversation with Zac. Kate was a touchy subject with them and, especially lately, Zac had a short fuse. She didn't want to make him angry. She just wanted answers. She was leaving the following morning, and needed this conversation to happen.

"Zac?" She asked, taking a deep breath and turning towards him on the couch they sat on together.

"Yeah, babe?" 

Marion decided to just go on and say it, seeing no reason to beat around the bush. Though she had spent the following night crying on Taylor's shoulder, today she felt more angry than sad. She was calm and collected.

"I know you've been talking to Kate." She said simply.

Marion saw the surprise on Zac's face. He didn't say anything, just stared at his lap. Marion thought he may actually try to deny it.

"Zac? Do you have anything to say? Did you hear what I said?" 

Zac took a deep breath and looked at her. "Yeah. I heard you...and you're right, I have been."

"I knew it." Marion nodded slowly, surprised he'd told her the truth. 

Zac got up, clearly uncomfortable, and paced around a bit. Marion sat on the couch, watching him, trying to contain her anger. 

"I'm sorry, Mar. I really am. But it's not going to work with us, I knew it when you left the tour, I just haven't been able to tell you. I don't want to hurt you."

Marion laughed bitterly at that. "Don't want to hurt me? Really? And you thought lying to me about talking to that bitch wouldn't hurt me?"

Zac bristled at Kate being called that. "She's not a bitch, Marion. She's really nice. She likes you! She's not trying to steal me from you? We're just friends."

Marion groaned, and stood up. "Zac! How stupid can you be? She is stealing you from me! That's what she wants! To get between us."

"She's not, okay? But regardless, we should break up anyway, because you live in Norway and I'm never going to see you. And Kate lives in Atlanta, which isn't that far from Tulsa, so...."

Marion knew then what was going on. Zac's intention was to dump her and start seeing Kate immediately. Kate had stolen Zac from her, and she hated her for it. She almost hated Kate more than Zac. For all Marion knew, Zac could've already been seeing her. Marion burst into tears, she couldn't help herself.

"You're an asshole, Zac! If you wanted to see her, and dump me, why did you agree to have me come visit? So you could dump me and humiliate me in front of everyone? I came halfway across the world to see you!"

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person. And I did want to see you again, believe it or not. I care about you." 

Marion rolled her eyes, sniffling. "Yeah, right. You don't care about anyone but you. If you cared about me, you wouldn't be doing this."

The two teens stood there staring at each other. Marion desperately wanted Zac to grab her, kiss her and hold her, and tell her he didn't want Kate...but he didn't. He just stood there, looking at the floor. He couldn't even look Marion in the eye. 

"What happened?" Marion said finally. "I thought you really liked me."

"I did." Zac said honestly, looking up at her. Despite how angry Marion was at him, she couldn't help but reflect on how beautiful Zac was. The perfect boy, she had thought. He seemed to hesitate before what he said next. 

"But, I like Kate better."

Zac's words stung, Marion just stared at him, unbelieving of how cold he was being toward her. She couldn't believe how fast things had changed between them. She turned and walked towards the door, not being able to spend another second looking at Zac, it was too sad. 

"Well, I hope you two are happy together. You deserve each other." she said as she walked out the door. 

Marion never saw Zac again after that day, but little did Zac know that Marion wasn't about to let him forget her that easily.


	6. "I Don't Want To Talk About It"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taylor and Michelle spend some time together, and Taylor decides to end it with Natalie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Hansonish.com, whose content was a great help with this chapter.

  
-  
This is not for all the tears we cried  
It's not another worthless little fight  
It all comes back to me, but no regrets  
I'd rather let it go than just forget, just forget  
-  


August 2001

A lot can change in a year.

For the guys, the This Time Around tour seemed like a lifetime ago. It had been a year since the tour had wrapped up, and they were back home in Tulsa working on new material for their upcoming album, tentatively titled Underneath. They were planning to start recording in November in L.A. which meant relocating there for a while.

Walker planned to accompany his sons to L.A. to help them get settled in, but then return to Tulsa. It would be the first time the guys would be living alone without their parents or a manager to supervise them. But, despite Walker's reservations, he knew it just wasn't practical for him to live there with them. Though Walker usually toured with his sons, and acted as their sort of fill-in manager when Stirling wasn't around, he had a job back in Tulsa in the oil drilling industry. Despite his sons' success, he still had to support the rest of his family. Isaac would be turning 21 years old in November, and Walker was confident he could act as the mature one, and help keep his younger brothers in check if need be.

For Zac, it had been a year since he broke up with Marion, and he hadn't looked back. After Marion was out of the picture, Zac had started dating Kate immediately. How quickly they had become official surprised everyone. By January of that year, they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Kate had graduated from high school in June, and was set to attend the University of Georgia in Athens, GA in the fall.

As for Taylor, he didn't have an official girlfriend - well, except Natalie, if you could even call her that. Taylor had been spending more time with her by default. They were definitely dating, though Taylor was hesitant to call it that. Kate always brought Natalie along when she came to visit Zac, which was surprisingly often. Taylor and Natalie got along well as friends, though it was painfully obvious to all involved that Natalie liked Taylor a lot more romantically than he liked her. Diana and Walker loved both Kate and Natalie. They were just the type of girls they wanted to see their sons with. Sweet and polite, they were typical Southern girls, and they were clearly crazy about their sons.

Isaac had tried to continue seeing Marit long-distance, but in June she had broken it off with him, stating it was just too hard for her. Isaac had been heartbroken, but had gotten over it eventually.

Michelle had released her album, The Spirit Room, on her new label in August and was gearing up to tour. She and Taylor still kept in touch, but hadn't seen each other since last August when she had left the tour.

It was just another day at home in Sedona when Michelle's phone rang. She was surprised to see it was Taylor, and immediately answered.

"Taylor! How nice to hear from you! What's up?" she asked warmly, plopping down on the chair nearest to her.

Taylor smiled at hearing Michelle's voice. "Hey! How are you?"

"I'm good! So good, actually. Spirit Room is selling well, and we've added a few new dates to the tour. I'm moving to L.A. all on my own!"

"That's why I called in fact. I was reading your web page and -

At that Michelle giggled, "You were reading my web page?"

"Yeah, what?" Taylor asked, feeling self-conscious.

"Nothing," Michelle giggled, "it's just that it still sounds funny. I have a "web page", you know?"

"I know. It makes things official, huh? We have a web page too, you know."

"I know, Hansonline. I have an account on it. It's really cool. I love the new icons and the background."

"You do?" Taylor asked, making a mental note to check out her profile.

"Oh yeah! Don't you forget that I am a fan! Even before I met you."

Taylor was flattered. "Also, the cool thing is, the Internet provider we used is owned by David Bowie."

"Way cool!" Michelle squealed, sharing in Taylor's delight at their small connection to the famous rock star.

Taylor cleared his throat and continued. "Well, the reason I called was to ask you if you...would like to attend my family's BBQ next month? I noticed you're going to be in Tulsa for a day for a show...my family does it all up for our Fall BBQ, like twelve kinds of meat...and uh, tons of different types of condiments..."

Taylor groaned to himself. He was rambling, he knew it, but he sometimes felt nervous talking to Michelle, because he liked her so much. It also occurred to him that inviting her to a BBQ of all things was kind of lame. Taylor knew Michelle liked him, but it had been a year and maybe she had met someone else. He suddenly felt insecure and dumb for asking her to come.

"I would love to, Tay!" she said excitedly. He breathed a sigh of relief at her reply.

She continued, "We're arriving in the morning, so I'll have the whole day to hang out before I have to be at the venue."

"Great!" Taylor said, regaining his confidence. He heard Ike calling for him. "You can catch me up on everything when I see you." he said hurriedly not wanting his brothers to hear his conversation.

"Sounds good, Tay! I can't wait to see you and Zac and Ike! I'll call you when we get into town, okay?"

"Sounds great, I can pick you up. I have a car now."

"Really? That is so cool. Bye Tay! Can't wait to see you next month!"

"Yeah, have a great time on tour!"

Taylor hung up the phone feeling like he was walking on air. He was beyond excited to see Michelle. Even though he hadn't seen her in a year, he knew when they saw each other again, it would feel like no time had passed.

As he walked out of the office and back into the studio, he started humming the melody of a new song he'd been working on. He had written down some lyrics and was excited to show what he had done to his brothers. The song was about Michelle, and she was definitely the inspiration behind it.

He walked back into the studio to see Zac behind the drumset, fiddling with his pedal, and Ike tuning his guitar. Isaac saw Taylor and looked up.

"Did you call Michelle? How did it go?" he asked.

"Great! She's coming to the BBQ!" Taylor said, sitting down behind the keyboard and stretching his fingers in preparation to play.

"Killer!" Isaac said. "It'll be great to see her."

Zac poked his head out from behind his drum kit and gave Taylor a look.

"What do you think Natalie will think of that?"

Taylor didn't answer.

\---

September 2001

The Big Annual Hanson Family BBQ was a neighborhood tradition, started by their grandfather. The family went all out. Everyone in the immediate family was invited, which included grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, who usually stayed over the whole weekend. Along with those people, Diana and Walker had invited many of their friends, and Isaac, Taylor and Zac had invited their friends, and their siblings had invited theirs...and so on and so forth. Needless to say, it was going to be a big gathering, with lots of food, and always proved to be a good time.

It was a beautiful Fall day in Tulsa. By 1p.m., most people had arrived and the BBQ was in full swing. Guests were milling about, talking in groups, enjoying the company and the food. Isaac was strumming on his guitar, entertaining a group of children. Along with Michelle, among the guests was Kate, who had driven in from Atlanta to visit Zac that weekend.

Michelle excused herself from a group she had been chatting with and made her way to the table which was covered in every side dish you could ever want: corn on the cob, several varieties of coleslaw, baked beans with bacon, collard greens. Michelle stared at the options, not able to decide what she wanted to go with her pulled pork sandwich.

"Can't decide?"

Michelle turned towards the voice behind her, and found herself face to face with a smiling, pretty brunette girl.

"I can't! It all looks so good."

"I recommend the ginger coleslaw. My mom made it. It's really good."

"Thanks!" Michelle said, scooping herself a serving onto her plate. She then extended her hand towards the girl.

"I'm Michelle."

"Kate." The girl said, shaking Michelle's hand.

"Nice to meet you." Michelle replied warmly.

"Wanna sit down?" Kate asked, motioning to a nearby picnic table.

"Sure." Michelle replied, following Kate to the table.

Kate studied Michelle as they ate and chatted. Michelle was pretty, but had a very different style than Kate. Michelle was sort of alternative, and had a tomboyish vibe to her. Kate, of course, knew who Michelle was, but she didn't want Michelle to know that. She knew who Michelle was because she was famous, but she also knew that she had opened for Hanson on the last tour. Natalie had also told Kate that Michelle and Taylor were friends, and that he talked to Michelle on the phone sometimes. Kate was pretty sure they were just friends, and she wanted it to stay that way. It was in Kate's best interest for Taylor to continue dating Natalie. Natalie really liked Taylor, and she wanted her to be happy.

"So, is Taylor your boyfriend?" Kate asked out of nowhere.

Michelle almost choked on her corn on the cob, and her eyes widened.

"What? No! We're just friends. I mean, I like him, but we're not like, boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. This is the first time I've seen him in a year."

"Oh, okay, good. I just wanted to make sure you knew that he already has a girlfriend, my best friend Natalie." Kate said brightly, taking a small bite of her coleslaw.

"Oh. I didn't know that." Michelle said, feeling a bit embarrassed. She didn't know Taylor had a girlfriend. She frowned, putting down her sandwich. Michelle wondered why Taylor hadn't told her he had a girlfriend, and and if he did, why wasn't she here?

Kate must have read Michelle's mind, because she said

"Natalie's back home in Georgia. She couldn't come today, because she's still in school. She graduates next June. She's a year behind me. I already graduated."

Thankfully Michelle didn't have to endure awkwardly sitting there with Kate much longer because Taylor walked over.

"I see you two have met." he said, sidling in next to Michelle. He winked and stole a bite of coleslaw from her plate. Michelle swatted him away, grinning.

Michelle thought she saw Kate's eyes narrow a bit, but she could have imagined it.

"Where's Zac?" Kate asked Taylor quickly.

"Hello to you too. Jamming with Ike over near the firepit. He asked me to ask you to come over there. He can't get away."

Kate nodded, and got up, throwing her plate in a nearby trashcan.

"Nice to meet you Michelle!" she said sweetly, then ran off to join Zac.

This left Taylor and Michelle alone at the table.

"Man, I am so stuffed. I think I ate like, three plates." Taylor said, slumping over the table and clutching his stomach in a mock show of illness.

Michelle laughed. "Me too. I don't think I can move."

Michelle wasn't sure if she should bring up what Kate had said. She didn't want to start any drama. She didn't know what to think about the fact that Taylor hadn't told her he had a girlfriend, whom was apparently Kate's friend, whom was obviously dating Zac...she knew that much at least. She wanted to ask Taylor about Natalie, but also trusted he was going to tell her himself when the time was right.

\---

It was around 5 p.m. and getting dark, and the last guests were saying their goodbyes and preparing to leave. Diana and Jessica had already started cleaning up, and Taylor knew if he stuck around much longer, he and Michelle would be stuck on dish duty. He knew Michelle had to be back at her hotel soon to prepare for her show that night, and he planned to drive her.

But first, he wanted to take her to the studio to show her some new material he had been working on, namely the song he had written that was inspired by her. He wanted to see what she thought of it because he wanted it on the new album and really valued her opinion.

As they strolled down the street towards his car, Michele was strangely quiet.

"Something wrong?" Taylor asked, as they got into the car.

Michelle bit her lower lip, still unsure whether she should bring it up.

"Come on. Spill." Taylor coaxed, knowing something was up.

Michelle turned in her seat and met his gaze.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Taylor sat back in his seat and sighed. He started the car and shifted into drive and pulled out before he answered.

"No."

"But that Kate girl said you did. She said her name was Natalie."

"There is this girl, Natalie, Kate's friend. I met her last year in Atlanta after you left the tour. We're kinda dating, yeah, but she's not my girlfriend."

Michelle thought about that.

"Does she think you are?"

Taylor didn't know how to answer that.

"I don't know." he finally said.

Michelle sat back in her seat and frowned. She wasn't sure what to make of this situation. She really liked Taylor, but didn't want to go any further with him if he had a girlfriend.

They drove the rest of the way to the studio in silence, Taylor silently cursing Kate for bringing up Natalie and putting doubts in Michelle's mind about him.

Taylor pulled up to the studio, put the car in park and turned to her. Unable to stand the silence any longer, he decided to change the subject.

"Look, Michelle, I really like you, and I've been meaning to tell you this all night, but I have good news: my brothers and I are moving to L.A. next month to start recording our next album."

"What?!" Michelle screeched and hugged him, so excited for him. She immediately forgot about what they had just been talking about.

"That is so awesome! That means we will be near each other!"

Taylor hugged her back, beaming.

"Yeah, we are so pumped."

"Where are we?" Michelle asked suddenly, letting go of him and looking out the window and noticing where they were. "Uh, this isn't my hotel, Tay."

"We're at our new studio." Taylor said proudly, hopping out of the car and running around the car to open her door.

"Ladies first."

Michelle stepped out of the car, giving him a weird look.

"Why are we going in here? Tay, I can't be late."

"I want to show you something, and you won't."

\---

After giving Michelle the grand tour of the studio, Taylor led her into the small recording room.

"Sit here." He instructed, motioning for her to sit in the seat in front of the mixing board, where she'd have a good view of the recording booth.

Taylor and his brothers had recorded the music for the song the other day, and now he wanted to record the vocals with Michelle watching. It seemed fitting, since the song was about her.

Taylor walked into the booth, adjusted the mic and cleared his throat. He then gave Michelle a thumbs-up, and she switched on the music and then the mic so she could hear him in the booth. The music started playing. Michelle pressed "record" and Taylor gave her a smile before starting.

Taylor's voice came through the speaker, bright and clear and passionate, and sent shivers down Michelle's spine.

Tell me that you love me  
You say you don't but you don't know  
See you in my dreams  
And you are so fair...

Taylor sang through the entire song without stopping and having to re-record. When he was done, he took off the headphones and left the booth.

"Well? What did you think?" he asked her breathlessly, sitting in the chair next to her and swiveling in it towards her.

"I love it." Michelle breathed. "What's it called?"

"Dream Girl."

"It's beautiful, Tay. It will sound great on the album."

"Not as beautiful as the girl it's inspired by."

"And who might that be?" Michelle asked, clueless to what he was trying to tell her.

Taylor smiled and leaned in close.

"You, silly. It's about you."

Michelle blushed bright red, flattered that such a great song was about her.

"Wow, really?"

"Really."

Taylor gave her a sweet kiss, and she kissed him back.

"Well, I have a confession too then." Michelle said, smirking.

"What?" Taylor asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I wrote a song about you, too."

"You did not."

"I did."

"Can I hear it?" Taylor asked hopefully.

Michelle shrugged, hopping out of her chair. "I dunno. Maybe someday. I gotta go" she looked at her watch, and motioned for him to follow her to the car.

Taylor frowned, switched the light off in the booth, and followed her to the door.

"I wanna hear the song." he whined.

Michelle laughed.

"All in good time."

They drove to her hotel in comfortable silence, holding hands. Michelle hummed the song she'd just heard, and Taylor stole looks at her as he drove, and thought about how much he liked her.

He pulled up to her hotel and turned towards her.

"I know you have to get going, but I wanted to ask you something first."

"What?"

"I want to take you on a real date."

Michelle's face brightened in a huge smile.

"I've been waiting for you ask me that all day," she admitted.

"Well, good things come to those who wait." Taylor joked, and Michelle shoved playfully in the shoulder.

"So humble you are."

He shrugged, smiling mischievously.

"Have a good show. I wish I could see you play, but the family is in town and there's no way I can get away for much longer. I'm sure they're already flipping out that I'm gone."

Michelle nodded, totally understanding.

"Call me when you get to L.A.?"

Taylor nodded, "Definitely."

Michelle waved as he drove away, unable to stop smiling. Taylor had that effect on her. Taylor made her feel so good, she decided to push to the back of her mind what Kate had said. She told herself that if Taylor had a girlfriend, he wouldn't have asked her on a date.

When she could no longer see his car, she turned around and walked towards her hotel, humming "Dream Girl" as she walked.

Michelle really liked Taylor, and couldn't wait to go on their date. She knew this was the beginning of something special, and couldn't wait to see where it could go.

\---

Taylor pulled back up to his parents house and shifted the car into park. He sat in the car for a bit before going in. He really liked Michelle, and he knew what he had to do, but it didn't mean it was going to be easy. Getting out of the car, he noticed something shiny on the car seat. We walked around the car and opened the door, retrieving it from the seat. He looked at it more closely and saw it was a silver bangle bracelet. Michelle must have left it in the car. He was about to get back in the car and bring it back to her when he heard his mother calling him.

"Taylor! Is that you? Where have you been?"

She stood on the porch with her hands on her hips, and didn't look happy.

Taylor sighed and looked back down at the bracelet, then back at his mom. It would have to wait. He'd have to give return it to Michelle when he saw her next.

He trudged up the stairs, smiling forcefully at Diana, who stood there glaring at him. She ushered him in and shut the door behind him.

"Where have you been?" she asked, "I thought you were just driving Michelle back?"

Taylor shrugged, not wanting to tell his mother the details of his life.

"We just hung out a bit before I dropped her off."

"Well, okay honey that's fine, but if that is the case, just let me know. We were expecting you back sooner."

"Sorry Mom, but look I got to do something, then I'll be right down, okay?" he said as he jogged past her and up the stairs to his room.

Diana just rolled her eyes and walked into the living room, where several of their relatives were socializing and eating dessert.

Taylor went to his room and shut the door. He took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. He carefully placed Michelle's bracelet on his nightstand and then reached over and picked up the phone. He dialed Natalie's number.

"Hey Tay!" Natalie answered cheerfully. "How are you?"

"I'm...good." Taylor said carefully.

"What's up? I hear the BBQ went well. Kate just called and said she's staying the night (crunch crunch), but she said she's coming back tomorrow - oh! (crunch crunch) which reminds me, guess who has a week off school coming up (crunch crunch) and can come visit her boyfriend?"

Taylor could hear Natalie chewing, and guessed she was eating candy. Natalie had a real sweet tooth. Normally it didn't bother him, but for some reason it was really getting on his nerves this time - but not as much as her calling him her boyfriend did.

"Look, Natalie, we need to talk about something."

"What? Is everything okay?"

Taylor took a deep breath. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he knew he had to be stern, because Natalie was the type to talk you out of anything.

"I'm not your boyfriend, okay?"

There was silence on the other side of the line, and Taylor almost regretted saying that.

"Uh, okay. " she said, drawing out the last syllable.

Taylor ran his hands through his hair and sighed.

"Nat, I like you, I do...but I think you think this is more serious than it is. The truth is, there is someone I really like...I've liked her for a while, and I just think that I want to see where it can go with her...since we're moving to L.A. and all... and I just think maybe we should just be friends." his voice trailed off, unsure if he was saying too much. He didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Natalie was silent for a while. Taylor bit his lip nervously at what she may say.

"Are you serious?" she asked. Her voice sounded shrill, like she may panic.

"Yeah, uh I am." Taylor managed to reply.

"I see."

Natalie hung up the phone, leaving only a dial tone in Taylor's ear.

"Well, that went well."


	7. "Crazy Beautiful"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taylor and his brothers move to L.A. Taylor and Michelle go on their first date.

  
-  
Listen, all I need is you  
Won't you tell me what to do?  
'Cause you drive me crazy  
Baby, is it pulling on your heart?  
Is it tearing you apart?  
-

November 2001

Michelle's apartment in West Hollywood

It was a fairly warm November day in Los Angeles, which isn't unheard of considering it never gets too cold in Southern California. This was a bonus for Michelle considering she was from Arizona, a state that overall has fairly warm weather. Michelle missed her home state, but despite having just moved in, Michelle was already getting used to the Southern California lifestyle.

On the rare days that she wasn't busy writing and recording in the studio, she was out surfing, or shopping. She had grown to love the "City of Angels". One of the main reasons she loved L.A. was because it's the place where she met Hanson over one year ago, which led to her opening up for them on their This Time Around tour. Which then led to her being discovered and signed by Maverick and then later on led to her doing her own tour.

Michelle would always be grateful to Taylor and his brothers for giving her the opportunity they gave her. She had such fun with them during the tour, especially with Taylor. He was unlike any guy she had ever met before. From the moment she met him, she felt an instant connection to him, it was like he could see her, but the real her and not this somewhat awkward and tomboyish girl most people see while taking a first glance at her. The fact Taylor had been able to see her beyond those perceptions was both exciting and daunting to Michelle, because to her, she couldn't understand what a heartthrob like Taylor could see in a plain and ordinary girl like her. A huge part of her, however, felt so excited that she, out millions of girls, was the one who had his complete attention right now, and she planned to enjoy every moment of it.

Lost in her thoughts, Michelle didn't hear her phone ringing until she heard a familiar voice leaving a message on her answering machine.

"Hey Michelle, it's Taylor......."

At the sound of hearing Taylor's voice, Michelle quickly ran to the counter where her phone was and picked it up.

"Hello? Taylor?"

"Hey you. Look, I just wanted to call you to see how your day is going so far?"

"It's going good so far, what about you? How is your day going so far?" Michelle replied.

"Well, it's going okay as expected. We're here in Def Jam's studio working some of the new material."

"YOU GUYS ARE HERE in L.A.!? YAY!"

"We are. We are still trying to find an apartment, but I am sure we will soon," he said.

"That song you recorded for me was so good. I hope you guys put it on your upcoming album, trust me when I say this, your fans will love that song, because they, along with your critics, will see a new side to you guys. One that they have never seen before. I think they'll love you guys even more than they do now." 

"I wish our label would share your enthusiasm....." Taylor sighed.

Sensing the change in the tone in his voice, Michelle knew that something was bothering Taylor. She tried to fish out a response from him.

"What do you mean? Is the label giving you guys a hard time or something?....."

"Somewhat..."

Wanting to get more out of him, Michelle continued to hammer Taylor on.

"Come on, seriously, what's going on?"

Despite him wanting to tell her everything, Taylor realized perhaps now wasn't the best time to spill his guts out to Michelle, considering the fact one of Island Def Jam's executives was in the studio with them.

"Look, I'll tell you later, I promise okay?"

Michelle wasn't satisfied with that answer, but she decided to let go of the issue for the time being.

"The reason, I was calling you was to tell you that I'm very excited about our date....."

A smile developed on Michelle's face at the sound of hearing Taylor saying those words.

"Oh yeah?" Michelle said in a flirtatious voice.

"Yeah, it can't come soon enough....." Taylor said while smirking slyly.

Taylor saw that Isaac was motioning him to get off the phone, because they had to get back to work.

"Listen, I gotta go, I'll pick you up at your apartment around 7:00pm tonight and then we'll head out to the concert...." he stated.

"Tonight?! Okay, I'll see you at 7:00pm, bye....."

Michelle hung up the phone. She felt so content because in a few hours, she would be going out on a date with the boy she really liked.

\---

Island Def Jam Studio - In West Hollywood

After finishing his phone call with Michelle, Taylor got back into business mode and discussed arrangements he believed they should change for certain songs. Taylor noticed during this discussion Zac was giving him the dirty eye, but he shrugged it off. It was typical of Zac to give him and Ike those looks when he was angry and sleep deprived.

Around 5:30pm Taylor decided to call it a night, since he had to go home and get ready for his date with Michelle.

"Hey guys, I'm heading out now...."

"That's right, it's your big date with Michelle...." Isaac said in a teasing mock voice.

Taylor rolled his eyes at Ike's lack of maturity.

"So where are you taking her?" Isaac asked casually.

"Well, I got us tickets to go see U2 tonight at the Staples Center and after that I was thinking we could get something to eat and maybe drive around a bit...."

"The fact you're taking her to see U2 means you have scored the jackpot. U2 is one of Michelle's favorite bands, you might just get lucky tonight Tay!"

"Come on Ike, you know Michelle isn't like that! Plus she is different from other girls, she has integrity and class!"

"Whatever you say, I'm just stating the facts...."

"Whatever man, I gotta a date to go get ready for....." Taylor said, as he rolled his eyes.

With that, Taylor walked out of the room and headed to the parking lot to get into his car, to drive to the temporary apartment he and his brothers are staying at before they found a permenant place.

\---

Michelle's apartment

After getting out of the shower, Michelle blew dry her hair and decided to curl it to give it a bit of a wavy look. After she finished with her hair, she went into her closet to pick out her outfit for the evening. After a half hour of going through her closet and surveying every item of clothing she owned, Michelle finally decided on an outfit. She removed her bathrobe and changed into the outfit she picked out, which was a black halter top accompanied with a black leather jacket, dark blue high rise jeans and black ankle boots. Michelle seemed pleased with her choice of outfit, since the entire attire perfectly accented her figure. Michelle was in the middle of putting the last touch of her make-up when she heard the doorbell.

She got up and went to the door. She first looked through her peephole, and when she saw that it was Taylor, she opened the door.

"Hey!" She greeted him warmly, and hugged him.

"Hey....Wow, you look beautiful...." Taylor said while eyeing Michelle up and down.

Michelle blushed a bit.

"Thanks, you look great too..."

She noticed he was wearing jeans and a light blue striped dress shirt accompanied with black leather jacket as well, and black converse shoes.

"Thanks..."

They shared a smile with one another briefly.

"So, are you ready to go?" Taylor asked.

"Yeah, just let me get my purse then we can go..."

Taylor nodded his head in agreement.

Michelle walked into her bedroom and grabbed her purse and took one more look at herself in the mirror for confidence. She then walked out of her bedroom shutting the lights off, and headed to her front door entrance again.

Upon hearing footsteps approaching, Taylor turned his head and saw Michelle standing before him ready to go.

"Shall we?...." Taylor held out his hand to Michelle while smiling broadly at her.

"Let's go..." Michelle placed her hand in Taylor's and Taylor lead them outdoors to his car.

\---

Staples Center - Downtown Los Angeles

Taylor and Michelle arrived at the Staples Center and walked hand-in-hand into the venue. Michelle was so stoked to see U2 play and she was even more stoked to learn that Taylor had scored them front row seats for the show.

They made their way down the aisle to their assigned seats for the show. Once they found them they sat down for a few minutes before the show started.

"I still can't believe you were able to score front row tickets for tonight's show! How did you manage to do this?" Michelle curiously asked.

"Well, let's just say that I have my "connections." Taylor said with a mischievous smile plastered upon his face.

"Oh, really?" Michelle answered back in a playful tone.

"Yeah....."

Michelle nervously bit her lip as she smiled playfully to Taylor. Taylor found her sudden shyness very cute. He couldn't help but smile at her and laugh with her.

Eventually the lights in the stadium began to dim signaling to the audience that the show was about to start.

U2 were now on stage getting ready to start the show.

Bono took his place in the front and center of the stage...

"Good Evening Los Angeles!" Are you all ready to rock?" the frontman says with such enthusiasm in his voice to the overly hyped crowd.

(Crowd goes completely insane with excitement after hearing those words)

(The band begins to play the notes to their song "Beautiful Day")

The heart is a bloom

Shoots up through the stony ground

There's no room

No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck

And the reason that you had to care

The traffic is stuck

And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend

To take you out of this place

Someone you could lend a hand

In return for grace

It's a beautiful day

Sky falls, you feel like

It's a beautiful day

Don't let it get away

Throughout the concert, Taylor and Michelle sang along to all of U2's songs because, for once, they are the fans, not the musicians. It felt wonderful for them to experience the rush and excitement that a fan feels when watching their favorite artist/band play. They forgot what that feeling was like from the moment they both got signed to their respective labels. What made this experience even more gratifying to them was they were enjoying it together.

After the show was over, Taylor had a surprise for Michelle. He had arranged for Michelle to have a private meet and greet with U2.

Michelle was left speechless.

After meeting with U2 and taking pictures with them, Taylor and Michelle made their way out of the venue and into Taylor's car, and drove off to go get some ice cream.

After eating their ice cream at a small cafe in Downtown L.A., Taylor asked Michelle if she wanted to take a drive up to the Santa Monica Mountains. Michelle told him she would love that. Taylor drove them up to a secluded area of the Santa Monica Mountains, where they could have more privacy to talk.

Taylor parked the car. He looked over and noticed that Michelle seemed nervous. He gently placed his hand on top of hers.

"Hey" he said softly.

Michelle turned her head slightly, and her eyes locked with Taylor's.

"So, thanks again, for taking me to see U2. I still can't believe you managed to get front row tickets and that you arranged a 'meet and greet' with them. You're full of surprises, you know that?"

"Well, you mentioned during the tour last year how much you love U2 and that you've always wanted to see them live in concert..." Taylor rambled on.

Michelle stared at him with such wonder.

Taylor noticed that Michelle was staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

"You remember that?" she asked him with such astonishment in her voice.

"Of course. I remember a lot of things from that tour."

Michelle decided to put his memory to the test.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" she asked him in a flirty voice.

"Well, I remember you mentioned that your parents put you in vocal classes, when you were about three, after they heard you sing one of the songs from "The Sound Of The Music."

"Well, Julie Andrews is one of my favorite actresses, I love the way she sings."

"If I recall,you mentioned that too..."

Michelle scoffed playfully.

"I remember, as well, that you mentioned that your parents named you after a Beatles' song. Oh, I remember you telling me the story on how you and your manager Bob met."

"How did we meet exactly?" Michelle asked in a teasing tone.

She was now putting him to the ultimate test.

"A family friend called you to tell you that "someone from the music industry" was in Sedona and she was showing him some property as a distraction to keep him occupied until you made your way to him...."

Michelle was now fixated completely on Taylor, for she was curious to see, if he could truly recall the rest of her "discovery" tale.

Taylor continued, "The only problem was, your parents weren't home at the time and you were only 15 and didn't have a license. Plus you were babysitting your little sister at the time too, but you knew that this was your only chance to get someone from within industry to notice you. So you and your sister stole your next door neighbor's golf cart and you drove you and your sister down to where Bob was. You gave him your demo tape and he fell in love with it and he agreed to be your manager right there on the spot."

"Then you recorded your self-made debut album "Broken Bracelet". You named the record that because a friend of yours gave you a bracelet for "good luck." That friend told you not to freak out if the bracelet broke, because if it broke that meant that your dreams would come true and you would find success" 

Taylor finished telling Michelle while locking eyes with her intensely.

"I can't believe you remember that...." Michelle said softly with her eyes filled with pure amazement.

"I remember more than you think...." Taylor whispered huskily.

Their eyes once again met and the sexual tension between them rose. Taylor leaned towards Michelle, their heads slightly tilted, and their lips met as they shared a kiss. Taylor wrapped his arms around Michelle and she had her hands in Taylor's hair. The kiss started off very slow and sensual, but then it quickly heated up and turned into a passionate frenzy. Before things got too hot and heavy though, Michelle gently pulled away. Both teenagers gasped heavily from the effects of the kiss they just shared.

Taylor grabbed one of Michelle's hand and clasped it in his.

"Hey" he whispered softly...

Michelle looked at Taylor and got lost in his beautiful blue eyes that penetrated through the barriers that subconsciously Michelle often put up to shield her from any hurt.

"You know, this would be the...third time, I think, we have kissed, not that I'm keeping count though..." Taylor said jokingly.

"Here, I thought you were" Michelle said back to him in teasing voice.

"In all seriousness though, I don't know about you, but that kiss meant something to me." Michelle stated with such apprehension in her voice, because she was afraid that Taylor didn't reciprocate those same feelings.

"I feel the same way too." Taylor said to her with such certainty.

"Really?" Michelle asked with such hope in both her eyes and voice.

"Yeah. I haven't forgotten about you Michelle, or the times we shared on that tour bus over a year ago. From the moment I met you, I instantly felt something towards you. I know this may sound corny, but you are unlike any other girl I have ever met before. I liked you before I met you. It was me who asked Stirling to sign you on the tour."

Michelle didn't say anything, for she was completely focused on what Taylor was going to say next.

"Like I told you a year ago before we went our separate ways, you're special. So special that there hasn't been a day that has gone by in this last year that you weren't on my mind, because you were. Every time that I got to talk to you on the phone was satisfying for me because I got to hear your voice instead of trying to remember how it sounded."

"Yes, though I have dated since we last saw each other, and I tried to give it my best to Natalie and our relationship, I couldn't, because she wasn't you. You're the one I want."

Michelle was in awe, because she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Look, I don't know how to explain this."

Taylor motioned with his hand the space between him and her.

"Attraction" Michelle whispered while cutting him off.

"Yeah..." He whispered back while gazing into her eyes.

"I don't know about you, but I'm excited to see where this goes. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Oh, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear those words..."

They smiled at each other, until Michelle lost her smile and lowered her head down in sadness. Taylor gently grabbed ahold of her chin and lifted it up to have her eyes meet his.

"What's wrong?"

"What if doesn't work between us?" Michelle said with such anxiety in her voice.

Taylor was confused a bit by what she meant by that. After noticing the look of confusion upon Taylor's face, Michelle realized she wasn't clear with her words, so she went into further detail...

"What I mean by that is, how we are going to be able to have a relationship, if we live miles away from each other? Yes, you and your brothers are in L.A. for the time being, but Tulsa is your home and it always will be. Plus let's not forget that we have our own careers that will eventually lead us to our separate tours. I want to be with you so badly, but I don't know if we can be given the circumstances."

"Well, then we'll make it work somehow." Taylor said with such optimism.

Michelle still had her doubts. Sensing that, Taylor boldly asked Michelle a question.

"Michelle....." Taylor said while he placed one of his hands upon Michelle's face, gently caressing her cheek.

"Do you want to be with me?" he softly asked her.

Michelle looked into Taylor's eyes and felt the connection between them. That alone was enough to have her take a leap of faith.

"Yes, I do. More than anything...." she whispered to him.

The two young teenagers shared a warm genuine smile with one another and shared another kiss, more tender and tame than their previous one.

They spend the rest of the night talking about music and their hobbies while occasionally making out.

It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning, that Taylor finally took Michelle home.

"Sorry, I kept you out so late." he stated.

"Don't be. I had a great time. Thank you for taking me out."

"Well, you're welcome..."

Taylor leaned in and gave Michelle another kiss.

"So, I'll call you later?" Taylor asks

"Sure..." Michelle simply stated back.

"Goodnight." Taylor said to Michelle.

"Goodnight." Michelle replied back to him.

Once Taylor was out her view, Michelle went into her apartment and shut the door behind her. She leaned her head against the door and sighed happily.


	8. "Christmas Time"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hansons enjoy a family Christmas. Taylor and Kate get into an argument about Natalie.

  
-  
Everything's different  
But nothing has changed  
Are we going in circles  
It's Christmas again  
Can't you hear the sleigh bells ring  
All our voices unite  
And look up to the heavens  
See the stars shining bright  
-

December 2001

The Hanson family home

It was the morning of Christmas Eve and the Hanson household was in full holiday swing. Diana Hanson was busy preparing breakfast for her husband and seven children. Her husband Walker walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, honey!" he said cheerfully.

"Good morning, sweetie!" Diana replied and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Walker walked over to the far end of the counter where the coffee pot was and poured himself a cup. He walked over to the table in the dining room and took a seat at the head.

Diana served him his breakfast and went back into the kitchen to grab the rest of the plates filled with eggs, sausage, and toast. As soon as she set down the last plate she went over to the stairs and began to call out all her children's names.

"Isaac! Taylor! Zac! Jessica! Avery! Mackie! Breakfast is served. Come downstairs before it gets cold. And can one of you guys grab Zoe on the way down, please?

Footsteps were heard and one by one the Hanson kids came downstairs and made their way to the dining room table. Taylor was the last one to arrive, since he is the one who went to wake up Zoe and bring her downstairs with him.

Taylor placed Zoe in her seat and walked over to his seat to sit down.

Soon, the kids were busy eating and chatting away with one another discussing everything from how happy they all were to have Ike, Tay, and Zac home for Christmas, to Jessica and Avery's boy problems, to Mackie telling jokes, to Zoe expressing her excitement about Christmas and Santa bringing her gifts because she had been such a good girl this past year.

Diana took a break from what she was currently doing in the kitchen and went to the entrance area of the dining room and watched her family in silence. She smiled joyfully at the sight before her.

The room was filled with chatter and noise, as annoying as that could be sometimes, Diana loved it because it felt like old times. Ever since Isaac, Taylor and Zac relocated to L.A. to work on their next album, the house hadn't been the same. The fact the boys were home for the holiday brought Diana an immense amount of happiness, because all she wanted for Christmas was for her family to be together and she had gotten her wish.

After a while, Walker got up from his seat and took his empty plate with him. On way to the kitchen he noticed the look of content on Diane's face.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked.

Diane turned her head over and faced Walker.

"Nothing, I just feel so blessed that I have you and our children to celebrate Christmas with."

Those words alone brought a smile to Walker's face and he took Diana's hand to kiss it.

"Ditto" he said to her.

They walked hand in hand into the kitchen unaware that the kids had witnessed this display of affection.

"What was that about?" Jessica asked.

"Nothing, it's just Mom and Dad being "all lovey-dovey" Isaac said.

"I think it's gross!" Mackie piped up.

"Why do you think it's gross. Mackie?" Zac asked.

"Because mom is a girl and girls have cooties." Mackie casually said in his high pitched voice filled with innocence.

"No, we don't doofus!" Avery exclaimed.

"Yes, you do!" Mackie argued back.

"Really? Then answer me this, why did Dad ending up marrying Mom if she supposedly had cooties? Why would Tay and Zac have girlfriends if they supposedly have cooties too? Explain that one, genius!" Avery fired back with such bold confidence and sass for an eleven year old.

"Because they were tricked that's why! Girls are full of tricks!" Mackie confidently said.

Jessica and Avery just rolled their eyes at the explanation their little brother just gave them.

Ike, Taylor, and Zac found it amusing.

Ike decided to give his youngest brother a piece of 'big brotherly' advice.

"Trust me Mackie, when you get to a certain age, you won't see girls in that way anymore. You'll end up liking them."

"No, I won't!" Mackie protested.

"Yes, you will, trust me buddy when I say that Ike, Tay, and I have all been where you are. When we were your age, we too thought the same thing, but once you get older, you realize girls aren't so bad after all." Zac told his little brother with such sincerity.

Mackie just scoffed at this.

Walker and Diana walked back into the dining room.

"So,who wants to be on dish duty?" Diana stated knowing what was about to happen next.

All the kids besides Zoe get up quickly from their seats and make up excuses to get out of dish duty. Some of them said they had last-minute shopping to do, or had to go make a phone call, or they need to go dressed.

As soon six of the seven kids were out the room Diana and Walker shared a small chuckle together.

"It never fails does it?" Walker said to his wife.

Diana just shook her head "no" in amusement.

"You get started on making dinner and I'll do the dishes, hon."

"Thank you honey...." Diana said sweetly to her husband and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and she retreated back into the kitchen.

Walker walked over to Zoe and picked her up.

"Well, Zoe it seems like your brothers and sisters left Daddy all alone to do the dishes. I guess I'm all alone in doing them...." Walker said pretending to sound sad.

"I'll help you Daddy!" Zoe excitedly said.

"You will?" Walker said in a playfully feigned tone.

"Yeah!"

"Well, thank you baby, Daddy appreciates your help! You are the best!"

Walker gave his youngest daughter a kiss on cheek and then he carried her into the kitchen with him.

(Ike, Tay, and Zac's bedroom)

"It feels weird being back in this room" Ike said while he plopped down on his old bed.

"I know what you mean." Taylor answered back while jotting down some lyrics in his notebook.

"You must be excited Tay, I mean Michelle is going to be arriving in a few hours," Ike stated.

Hearing Michelle's name brought a smile to Taylor's face. He stopped writing for a moment and thought about to the last time he saw Michelle.

(Flashback-Two weeks before)

Michelle's apartment

Taylor and Michelle were hanging out at her apartment. Taylor was winding down after a extremely frustrating and exhausting day at the studio.

"So I'm guessing things didn't go well at the studio today, huh?" Michelle asks while massaging Taylor's shoulders.

Taylor sighed.

"No, not really" he answered back.

"I'm sorry, Tay."

"Don't be, it's not your fault," he sighed in frustration."I just wish the label would just get on board with our new music, you know?"

"Just have faith in what you're doing, eventually they will come around. And, if they don't, then they're officially the world's biggest idiots for not recognizing the level of talent you and your brothers possess." Michelle said with so much optimism in her voice.

Taylor smiled slightly at that comment.

He turned his head slightly and faced Michelle.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?" Michelle said while still massaging his tense shoulders.

"For being my listening ear and hearing me complain about all the bullshit problems we're having with our label right now. I know it's not exactly the kind of night you want to have."

Michelle stopped massaging Taylor for a moment and said her next words to him with all sincerity.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. When I decided to be with you, I wanted to be with you completely. That means through the good and the bad times, because that's how much you matter to me." Her eyes and voice filled with such love.

Taylor was completely touched by her words. He leaned in to give her a kiss to express his gratitude.

The kiss was very sensual, but tame. Taylor and Michelle embraced each other, and for a few minutes they were silent as the two of them basked in the intimacy of their happiness.

They pulled away from each other finally.

"Feeling better?" Michelle asked Taylor.

"Yeah, much better. Thank you again." he said to her while leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"So, are you hungry?" Michelle asked Taylor.

"Yeah, I'm starving."

Michelle walked into her small kitchen. "Well, I was thinking we could order some Chinese, so let me just find the phone number and restaurant's menu, and I'll order away. I'm assuming you'll have the usual?" Michelle rambled on and on as she actively searched through her kitchen drawers for the menu.

"Yeah, but before you do that can we sit down for minute?" He asked while grabbing one of Michelle's hands and leading her back to the couch.

"Sure...." she said, confused.

Taylor plopped down on the couch and Michelle sat on his lap. She casually played around with his hair and she gently stroked it, and locked eyes with him.

"What's up?" she asked with curiously.

"Well, I want to ask you...if you had any plans for Christmas?" Taylor asked.

"No, not really. My family doesn't celebrate Christmas, we're not Christian, so it's not like I'll be doing anything special. My parents are actually going to Hawaii for the holidays and my sister is going to Phoenix to visit a old friend of hers, so I'll probably be home alone with nothing to do, really." Michelle stated.

"Come to Tulsa for the holiday break." Taylor suggested.

"What?" Michelle asked, her voice filled with surprise.

"You heard me, come to Tulsa and spend the holidays with me and my family." Taylor once again said.

"Are you serious?" Michelle asked.

"Yeah, I am....."

"What about your parents? Are they cool with that?"

"Yeah, they are," Taylor lied.

Taylor knew he would find a way to break the news to his parents and convince them to let Michelle spend the holidays with them. Regardless of what his parents said, Taylor had already made up his mind that he would spend the holidays with Michelle no matter what, even if he had to stay here in L.A. with her.

"Look, you said it yourself that your family isn't even going to be home during the holidays and I don't want you to be lonely for Christmas. Regardless of what you say, I'm going to spend the holidays with you." he boldly revealed.

Taylor nuzzled his nose with Michelle's and then placed his forehead against hers.

"Whether it's in your hometown or in my hometown." he added.

Michelle was touched by Taylor's thoughtfulness.

"Well, in that case, I guess I'll see you in Tulsa on December 24th," Michelle said, smiling.

Taylor beamed with such happiness and excitement, because he was spending his favorite holiday with the girl he had strong feelings for.

They kissed again. When Michelle hopped off his lap and exclaimed.

"Chinese time!"

(Flashback ends)

Hanson family home

"Tay!" Isaac shouted out to get his younger brother's attention.

Taylor snapped out of his train of thought.

"What?" Taylor asked, annoyed.

"I've been calling your name out for about five minutes now. What were you thinking about?"

"Michelle," Taylor replied simply. "And a song I'm writing about her."

"Well, she'll be arriving soon, Tay. Just be patient," Issac stated.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just excited to see her. It's been days since I last saw her." Taylor stated honestly, without caring that he sounded so lovestruck.

"Man, Michelle and Kate have you and Zac completely whipped." Isaac teased, making fun of his younger brothers and their current love lives.

"I'm not whipped!" Zac exclaimed.

Before Isaac could respond, the boys heard their mother's voice from kitchen.

"Zac! Kate's on the phone for you!"

"I rest my case!" Isaac smirked, victorious.

"Shut up Ike!"..... Zac said to his older brother while walking out of the room and descending downstairs to the kitchen.

Zac took the phone from Diana and brought it to his ear.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hey, Zac!" Kate said cheerfully.

"Hey, you!" he replied back to her, happy to hear her voice.

"Merry Christmas!" Kate wished him.

"Merry Christmas!" Zac wished her back.

"So, how are you?"

"I'm good, I'm back home here in Tulsa spending the holidays with the family. It feels good to be home. L.A. is great and all, but it's not home...."

"How are things going with the new record? Has the label finally gotten on board with you guys?" Kate asked.

"No. Every time we show them the new material we wrote and recorded they say something like "it's not hit single material" or "maybe it just needs more polish or a "it needs more pop." I personally think they are yanking our chain and that they want us to change our sound in order to fit into a mainstream demographic....." he sighed.

"'More pop?' Like "Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears?" she asked.

"Yeah, which I think is bullshit! I personally don't have anything against the Backstreet Boys or Britney Spears, for that matter, they have their sound and image and it works great for them, but it's not the kind sound or image my brothers and I have, nor want to have...." Zac said, sighing.

"Well, you guys have always created your own music without really any outside help, so take the wheel and keep doing things your way. Make them see how important doing your music your way is to you and your fans, eventually they will get it....." Kate said, feeling hopeful.

Zac was really touched by Kate's words. She truly was like no other girl he had ever met.

"Thanks, Kate."

"For what?" Kate asked, confused.

"For being you. And for listening to me complain about my work problems on Christmas Eve. I'm sure that wasn't the purpose of your call."

"Well, I know how important your music is to you, and you're important to me." She said simply. "So, obviously, I care about your music and that you're happy with it."

Her words brought a smile to Zac's face. He was completely smitten by her.

"Well, enough about me. Tell me how did your first semester go?"

"I was really busy. It took some adjusting, because college is completely different from high school, everything is more fast paced in every sense, but I've gotten used to it and my grades were high and all. I think I may even have chosen a major; economics. I know I'm only a freshman and I don't have to choose yet, but I think that's what I am going to do." Kate said proudly.

"Wow, economics? Well, that's because you're so smart. You got both brains and beauty." Zac said in a flirty tone.

"Shut up!" Kate said back to him in a teasing tone. If Zac could only see her face, he would have seen that that it was bright red.

"What? It's the truth!" he said.

"Anyway, did you get the present I sent to you?" Kate asked, changing the subject. It made her uncomfortable to talk about her accomplishments. She'd been taught it was ladylike to be humble.

"Yes, I did and thank you for that. I can't believe you got me a Journey album on vinyl!" he said with such excitement in his voice. "I only have like three records, so it's a good addition to my growing collection."

"I'm so glad you like it! I know they are one of your favorite bands, so I figured that I would buy one of their records on vinyl. It wasn't easy to find, though. I had to ask Tay what albums you already had. When he told me that you love Journey and you didn't have a record of theirs yet, I knew just what to get you." Kate said, proud of herself for picking out such a thoughtful gift for her boyfriend.

"Well, I appreciate it, babe. Thanks again. Did you get my gift to you?" Zac asked.

"I did, and thank you for the perfume and the dress. I love them."

"Well, you're welcome." Zac said back to her. "I hope you wear it when I see you." he added shyly.

Kate laughed, and as he always did, Zac thought about how it has a musical ring to it.

"I bet you do. I'm curious how did you know that Channel number five was my favorite perfume and how did you manage to get me a dress exactly in my size? Because, I don't remember telling you my size ever." Kate asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe I have special powers, and I am able to read your thoughts?" Zac said in joking manner.

"Mmmhhh...So I guessing Natalie told you then?" Kate asked him, already knowing the answer.

Zac knew he was busted and laughed.

"Yeah, it was Natalie. I wasn't sure what to get you, so I figured I would ask her, since she knows you so well."

"Well, she is my best friend." Kate reminded him, as if he'd forgotten.

Zac hesitated to ask Kate his next question, but he went ahead because he was curious to know.

"How is she doing by the way?"

"Well, she was devastated that Taylor broke up with her, but she is hanging in there. I think being with her family during the holidays has helped her a lot......she's also graduating next year, so she's excited about that." Kate told him.

"I'm sorry that she is hurting." Zac said in a sympathetic voice. He honestly felt bad. Natalie was his friend too, and he hadn't approved when Taylor had broken up with her, but he knew Taylor really liked Michelle, who was also a friend of his, so this put him in an awkward position. He didn't want to take sides, he just wanted his brother to be happy.

"Thanks, I just wish your brother would share your opinion, but no, he just does what he wants, without thinking of how it affects other's feelings." Kate said with a hint of disgust in her voice.

Suddenly, Zac felt uncomfortable with the conversation, since it was his brother they were talking about.

"I just can't believe he would do that to her!" Kate exclaimed.

"Katie, I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt Natalie. He was just following his heart." Zac said, trying to defend his brother's actions.

"Are you defending him?" Kate asked. Zac could almost see her eyes narrowing through the phone.

Before Zac could reply, Taylor walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, man, I gotta get going to the airport, can you give me the keys to the truck? Dad says you have them?" Taylor asked Zac. Taylor didn't want to drive his own car. Their dad's truck had a better stereo.

Before Zac could reply back to him, Kate quickly spoke up on the other line. She hadn't seen Taylor since he'd broken up with Natalie, and had some things to say to him.

"Is that Taylor? Can you let me talk to him for a minute, please? We need to clear something up."

Knowing she was angry, Zac knew better than to argue with her. He handed the phone to Taylor with an apologetic glance. Zac had learned early what Natalie already knew. Kate always got what she wanted.

"Yeah, he's right there."

Taylor took the phone in annoyance, knowing it was Kate. He hoped the conversation would be quick, or he may be late to pick up Michelle from the airport.

"Hello?" Taylor said.

"Hello, Taylor." Kate said with venom on her voice.

Taylor rolled his eyes at the sound of hearing Kate's voice and gave Zac a dirty look for passing him the phone.

"Kate, what do you want? I have to get going." Taylor asked, cutting right to the chase.

"Wow, are we in a hurry?"

"As a matter of fact, I am." he stated.

"So, I'll make this fast and simple for you, since I too don't have any desire to speak with you any longer then I need to." Kate said.

"Well? What is it? I don't have all day!"

"Why did you dump Natalie the way you did?" Kate asked him frankly.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." Taylor fired back at her with equal amount of venom in his voice. Taylor did not like to talk about his personal life, and especially not with Kate, because he had learned that whatever he told her would get back to Natalie.

"It is my business, because Natalie is my best friend and you hurt her so badly! She is devastated. And you dump her on the phone? Really?"

"I'm sorry for that, really I am! But you know that I never liked Natalie the way she liked me, I told her that. It was you that insisted to her that she and I should date." Taylor reminded her. "I really only ever liked her as a friend. I think she's cute, but I don't love her."

"I said that because she liked you and I thought you liked her! It seemed like you did and all of sudden you didn't. Why the sudden change?"

"She didn't tell you?" Taylor asked her.

"Tell me what?" Kate asked him now, more curious than ever.

"I broke up with her because I told her that there was someone else and I always wanted to be with her, since the moment I met her." Taylor revealed to Kate.

With this new information, Kate now knew for who exactly Taylor had dumped Natalie. She felt even more badly for her friend now, knowing that Taylor had dumped her for another girl. Her heart hurt for her friend, and she felt her anger rising at what Taylor had done to her.

"Taylor you dated her for a year! If you didn't really like her why did you do that?"

Taylor didn't have an answer to that. The truth was that he did like Natalie, he enjoyed spending time with her, he thought she was cute, but when Michelle became available he didn't hesitate to get with her.

Taylor's silence seemed to add fire to Kate's argument. "This is about that Michelle Branch girl right? You were just using Natalie in the meantime until you could be with her! The girl who went on tour with you guys last year and who was the BBQ, right?" Kate said.

Figuring that there was no point in lying anymore, Taylor decided to tell Kate the truth.

"Yes, it's Michelle. Michelle is the girl that I always wanted to be with, but couldn't be with, so I settled for Natalie...until a few months ago, when I saw Michelle again and knew instantly that it was her who I really wanted." Taylor swallowed hard and continued. "It's always been her." He said softly.

Kate was disgusted with Taylor, and was so angry she could barely get her next words out.

"You are such a jerk, Taylor! You shouldn't have led Natalie on like that. You gave her false hope, you should have been straight with her from the beginning! That Michelle girl is no better either! She's a boyfriend stealer!"

Upon hearing Kate bashing Michelle's name, Taylor quickly went on the defense.

"Hey! I know that you're upset and all, because Natalie is your friend, and you have every right to be angry with me, but do not talk badly about Michelle. She had nothing to do with this. I made the decision to break up with Natalie before I even started dating Michelle, so she is not to blame for this..."

"She knew that Natalie was your girlfriend when I told her at the BBQ, she still went after you." Kate argued.

"No, you're wrong. She asked me if what you told her was true, I said yes, but I didn't consider Natalie my girlfriend, and that I wanted to end things with her for a while now. By the way you had no right to get involved in my personal life." Taylor reminded Kate.

"Like, I said before Natalie is my best friend and - "

Before Kate got a chance to finish her sentence Taylor cut her off.

"So what? That still doesn't give you the right! You don't see me getting involved in yours and Zac's relationship despite the fact Zac is my brother and best friend!"

Taylor must have shocked Kate, because she said nothing. He continued.

"May I remind you how your relationship with my brother started. You knew he was involved with Marion and you still went after him and stole him away from her, not caring that she got left dumped and heartbroken. So before you start judging me or Michelle for that matter, take a good long look at yourself too." Taylor said with animosity.

"Don't you dare - " Kate started to say, but once again was cut off by Taylor.

"Don't I dare what? Call you out on your hypocrisy? You know that I'm right and that's what gets to you. Now if you don't mind, I am going to pass you back to my brother, so keep bitching' about this situation to him, because I have to go and pick up my girlfriend at the airport now."

Taylor gave the phone back to Zac and stuck his hand out for Zac to give him the keys to the truck with both an impatient and irritated look on his face.

Zac gave Taylor the keys and a sharp look. He covered the phone receiver with his hand so Kate wouldn't hear what he said next.

"You and me are talking about this later, okay?" Zac said with authority. He meant business. He wasn't going to let Taylor get away with talking to his girl like that, even if he was his brother.

But Zac knew he couldn't be mad at Taylor for long. They'd spent all last year fighting, but lately, as they had matured, the two had become much closer, and Zac was enjoying the new dynamic they shared. Zac wasn't surprised his brother had referred to him as his best friend. Zac felt the same.

Taylor just rolled his eyes, took the keys from Zac and headed out the door.

Zac placed the phone back to his ear.

"Hey, sorry about that......" Zac told Kate in an apologetic voice.

"Don't be, it's not your fault your brother is a total asshole."

Zac cringed. Kate didn't swear often. Little did Zac know this was only the beginning of his role as mediator between Kate and his brother. Kate and Taylor, even years later, after they were all married with kids, and their teenage years far behind them, they would never really get along. Zac loved them both, and wanted them to get along.

Zac heard the engine of the truck roar to life he and then he heard it drive off.

"So is it true what he said that Michelle is spending Christmas with you guys?" Kate asked Zac feeling a little insecure.

"Yeah, she is. Taylor invited her over for the holidays, because her family doesn't really celebrate Christmas, and her parents and her sister are each going on separate vacations, so Michelle was going to be left all alone at home. Taylor didn't want her to feel lonely, so he invited her to come and spend Christmas with us here in Tulsa."

"Your parents are letting this happen?" Kate asks with such shock in her voice.

"Well, it was either her coming here or Taylor going to her place be all alone with her without any parental supervision. So at the end, my parents preferred to have her stay here. All of us kids can be together for Christmas and also that way Taylor and Michelle aren't tempted to wanna hook up." Zac stated, uncomfortable talking about his brother's personal life with his girlfriend.

"I just don't like the idea of her being there." Kate said with a hint of jealousy and insecurity in her tone.

"I know babe, but she is Taylor's girlfriend and Taylor wants her here. Besides you have nothing to worry about, you're only girl I have eyes for. Michelle is just a friend."

And Zac was right. It was true. From the moment he'd seen Kate, he'd only had eyes for her. While he didn't admit it to anyone he thought she might be his soulmate. To him, she was perfect. He could even see himself marrying her someday.

"Michelle is a good friend, but I don't see her like that. " Zac reiterated.

Hearing his words, Kate felt more at ease.

"Okay. Hey, Zac...about what Taylor said about Marion, I just want you to know, that I really didn't mean for her to get hurt. I just like you so much and I wanted to be with you ever since I met you." Kate admitted, her voice filled with truth and perhaps maybe even love.

"You don't have to apologize, because I'm to blame. I knew it was you who I liked and wanted to be with and I should have been honest with Marion from the beginning. So what happened was my fault not yours, because I should have handled the situation better than the way I did." Zac told Kate.

Walker walked into the kitchen and motioned for Zac to get off the phone.

"Hey, listen I gotta go now, but thanks for calling me, you have no idea how happy you made me just now."..... Zac said, a smile on his face.

"You're welcome. Merry Christmas Zac, I'll see you in the New Year, okay?

"Merry Christmas, Kate. I'll see you in the New Year too."

The phone call between them ended and Zac placed the phone back in its spot and went to help his father.


	9. "What Christmas Means To Me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle spends Christmas in Tulsa with Taylor's family. It becomes apparent that Walker doesn't like Michelle. Taylor continues to have tension with Kate.

  
-  
I see your smiling face  
Like I've never seen before  
Though I love you madly  
It seems I love you more  
-  


December 2001

Tulsa International Airport

It was now past 5 p.m. Taylor was patiently waiting for Michelle. He was anxious to see her now. It had been two weeks since the last time he saw her and he couldn't wait to hold her in his arms again. After ten minutes of waiting, Taylor decided to go up to one of the front desks and ask one of the clerks the status of Michelle's flight, because she should have already landed, he figured.

"Excuse me, Ms.?"

The clerk, a middle-aged blonde woman stopped what she was doing and looked up at Taylor.

"Yes, sir, how can I help?" the clerk asked him.

"Flight 675, uh Los Angeles to Tulsa, can you tell me the status of it? My girlfriend is on that flight and according to her itinerary, she should been here by now."

"Sure, just give me one second and I'll check the status of it for you, sir."

The clerk typed in the information and looked over the search results that her computer just generated.

"According to this, the flight has already landed here in Tulsa. Perhaps she is still waiting for her bag at baggage claim? If you take a look around sir, you'll see it is fairly busy considering it's Christmas Eve. My advice would be to just phone her and let her know you're here."...She said in a bubbly voice.

Taylor just sighed in frustration, but thanked the woman for her help. He sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting area and took his phone out and was about to place another call until he heard a familiar voice calling out his name.

"Taylor! Taylor!"

Taylor turned his head to the direction where voice was coming from, and he saw it was Michelle who was waving one of her hands at him to get his attention. As soon he saw her, he smiled and got up, and began to walk towards her.

Michelle ran into Taylor's waiting arms and squealed in delight as he picked her up and twirled her around a bit.

The two young teenagers were oblivious to the stares they got from onlookers. The only thing that mattered was the bliss they felt being in each other's arms finally after two weeks of being apart.

"Mmmh, I missed you!" Michelle whispered into Taylor's ear as she had her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his waist as he continued to hold her.

"I've missed you too!" Taylor whispered back to her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before setting her down.

They recollected themselves and Taylor helped Michelle with her luggage. He took her big suitcase while she took her purse and a small duffel bag. They began to walk out of the airport and into the parking lot where Taylor had parked the truck.

"So what took you so long to get here?" Taylor asked Michelle.

"Well, the landover in Houston. We ran into some snow on our way to Texas, which caused us to have to do an emergency landing in Houston. All flights were delayed until the storm somewhat cleared out which, luckily for me, only lasted about an hour. The total buzz killer was when I finally landed here, I got held at customs for a little while." Michelle told Taylor.

"Why?" Taylor asked. They are now in front of the back of his Dad's truck. Taylor opened the bed of the truck and placed all Michelle's luggage in there and locked it up.

"This bitchy old lady was taking her sweet ass time claiming her things, which held back the line. So you can only imagine not too many people were happy with her."

"You being one of them?" Taylor asked her with a mischievous grin on his face."So impatient." he teased.

Michelle playfully smacked him.

"No!" she said in a teasing voice. "I can be patient!...as long as I know I'm getting my way in the end."

They both laughed at this.

"I'm so happy that you're here finally." Taylor told Michelle as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Me too." Michelle said back to him with her arms wrapped around his neck.

They stared deeply into each other's eyes for a few seconds until Taylor remembered he needed to get them back to his parents' house, because they are expected them any minute now.

"We'd better be heading back to my parents' before they send out a search party for us."

"Yeah." Michelle said, while feeling a bit nervous at the thought of meeting Taylor's family as his girlfriend this time around and not just his friend.

Taylor and Michelle got into the truck and Taylor started up the engine and began to drive them in the direction of his folks' place.

During the ride, Taylor and Michelle caught each other up on what had been happening in their lives, career wise, and everything in between. Taylor noticed the closer he got to his parents' house, the more quiet and distance Michelle seemed.

Eventually Taylor pulled up to the front of the driveway and parked the truck there. He turned off the engine and took the keys out of the ignition. He turned to face Michelle.

"Michelle, what's wrong?" Taylor asked her.

Michelle looked over at the house and then turned to look at Taylor. Taylor saw the fear and anxiety on her face.

"Hey, come on, talk to me." Taylor told Michelle as he caressed one of her cheeks.

Michelle leaned more into Taylor's touch, for it soothed her a bit. She looked at him dead in the eyes and saw the concern in them.

"I'm just scared." Michelle said flat out.

"Of what? Meeting my family? But you've already met most of them at the BBQ." Taylor said, feeling a bit confused.

Michelle just nodded her head "yes" in response.

"What if they don't like me, Tay?" Michelle asked him, feeling a bit panicky.

Taylor grabbed a hold of Michelle's hands and interlocked her fingers with his.

"Michelle, they are going to love you, because they know how important you are to me." Taylor told her truthfully.

"Let's hope so." Michelle said, still not convinced that the Hanson family would welcome her entirely with open arms.

"I know for a fact mom already likes you, and of course Ike and Zac do."

"Come on, let's go inside." Taylor said as he let go of Michelle's hands and unlocked the doors for them to get out.

They got out the truck and went to the bed of it to grab a hold of Michelle's luggage.

Again, Taylor grabbed a hold of the big suitcase and Michelle grabbed a hold of the duffel bag and her purse.

They began to walk up the pathway that led to the front door. Taylor placed the suitcase on the ground for a second and took out his keys unlocked the door.

"Ladies first.."

Michelle walked in feeling a bit uneasy, she had no idea what reaction Taylor's family will have when they met her again under these new circumstances.

Taylor walked in behind her and closed the door.

"We're here! Mom?" Taylor called out.

"In the kitchen, honey!" Diane yelled back.

Taylor placed Michelle's suitcase down in the closet and motioned for her to hand him her duffel bag and purse, which she did and he placed those items too, into the closet for the time being.

Taylor grabbed a hold of Michelle's hand and together they walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Mom! Sorry, we're a bit late, Michelle's flight got delayed a little." Taylor stated.

"That's all right, the important thing is you're here now!" Diana said as she walked over to them.

"Hello Michelle, it's so nice to see you again!" Diana told Michelle warmly and genuinely, while embracing her.

"Oh, it's nice to see you again too, Mrs. Hanson. Thank you so much for having me spend the holidays with your family, I feel very honored."

"You're welcome dear, please make yourself at home." Diane told Michelle.

"Are you sure that you don't need help with something?" Michelle asked genuinely.

"No dear, I'm fine, I almost have everything in order for dinner. Why don't you kids go freshen yourselves up a bit and I'll call you when dinner is served?" Diane stated.

"Okay, thank you once again Mrs. Hanson." Michelle said as she and Taylor walked out of the kitchen and back into the foyer.

"See that wasn't so bad!" Taylor told Michelle hoping the introduction she just had with his mom would now put her nerves at ease.

"Well, I still have your dad and the rest of your brothers and sisters to meet, so let's take it one step at time mister." Michelle told Taylor, still feeling nervous about meeting his family again.

"I'm sure they are all going to love you the way same my mom already does!" Taylor tells her.

"Your mom loves me?" Michelle asked Taylor, feeling very confused.

"Oh, trust me babe, she likes you." Taylor then winked at Michelle, which made her smile and laugh a bit. She playfully hit him on the shoulder for that remark.

Taylor took Michelle's suitcase and began to walk upstairs. Michelle took her duffel bag and purse and followed him up the winding staircase to the second level of the house.

On the way up the stairs where several framed family photos. Michelle smiled, seeing pictures of Taylor when he was very young.

They stopped in front of a room. Taylor knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Michelle heard a young girl's voice say through the closed door. Taylor opened the door and walked in with the suitcase in tow.

"Hey Jess! Hey Avery!" Taylor said greeting his sisters with enthusiasm in his voice.

"Hey Tay!" both girls responded in unison back to him, neither one of them bothering to look up, for they were so engrossed by what they were reading on the computer.

Michelle walked into the room feeling a little out place.

"Can you guys stop what you're doing for one second please, I want to re-introduce you to someone." Taylor told his sisters.

Both Jessica and Avery rolled their eyes in annoyance, because their brother interrupted them reading something of great importance.

They turn to face Taylor and Michelle.

"Jess, Avery this is Michelle Branch, you guys remember her, she opened for us last year and she came to the BBQ back in September."

Michelle flashed Jessica and Avery a small smile and extended her hand out to them.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you guys again." she said.

"It's nice to meet you again too. Welcome to our home." Jessica said while shaking Michelle's hand.

"Well, thank you." Michelle said back to Jessica, impressed with her politeness.

Avery shook Michelle's hand too and said her greetings as well.

All was silent for a moment, until Avery spoke up.

"I love your music, it's very real and uplifting, unlike some the crap the radio stations play nowadays." Avery boldly stated.

Michelle was blown away by this because she never thought that a young girl like Avery would love the kind music she played. Most girls Avery's age were listening to either Britney or Christina, not her music. It felt refreshing for Michelle to know this.

"Thanks! What's your favorite song from the album?" Michelle asked, curious to know.

"I love the entire album. I would listen to it non-stop. It got to the point that Tay took me to the music store to buy me my own copy of it, after I kept stealing his." Avery revealed.

"Oh, really?" Michelle said while turning to face Taylor who was blushing.

"Yeah, really!" Avery stated back.

"Huh, it seems like you forgot to share that bit information with me, Tay. Any other secrets you're harboring from me?" Michelle asked him playfully.

Before Taylor can reply back, Jessica spoke up.

"He's got tons of secrets!" Jessica said.

Taylor gave Jessica a look that read "you are so dead".

Jessica smirked at this.

"We'll tell you all about them before we go to sleep tonight, since you are rooming with us." Avery said.

Michelle looked over at Taylor and saw for the first time ever that Taylor seemed both embarrassed and uncomfortable based what his sisters just said. She is loving it.

"Deal!" Michelle said to them.

"You two will do no such thing, or else I won't give your Christmas presents tomorrow morning." Taylor warned his little sisters hoping this would stop them from sharing any embarrassing stories about him.

"Oh come on, Tay!" Avery and Jessica moaned in disbelief.

Michelle found this all amusing.

Eventually Taylor, Avery, and Jessica all came to a mutual agreement that was they would not reveal any embarrassing stories about Taylor to Michelle only if in return Taylor didn't threaten to not give the girls their gifts on Christmas morning.

After Michelle got her stuff settled into Jessica and Avery's bedroom, she and Taylor left the girls in their room and went to hang out with Isaac and Zac in the bedroom they shared with Taylor.

"Hey guys, look who's here finally!" Taylor said to his brothers as he and Michelle walked into the room.

"Hey Michelle! Merry Christmas it's so good to see you!" Ike told her as he gave her a hug.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Ike! It's so good to see you too!" Michelle says back to him.

"Hey, Michelle...." Zac said casually said as he walked up to her and gave her a hug too.

"Hey Zac! She said while hugging him back. Michelle sensed something off with Zac, but she couldn't tell what. He had always been moody, she knew this. She pushed the thought away and smiled. It was good to see him.

"So, how are you guys? How's the album coming along? Made any progress yet with the label?" Michelle asked excitedly, sitting down on the bed.

The guys just shared a look of sheer disappointment. That look alone was indication enough for Michelle to get an idea of how bad things were between the brothers and their record label.

"I guessing no." "What's the problem now?" Michelle groaned.

All three boys sat down heavily. "The same problem as always, "we don't sound mainstream enough." Ike told Michelle, sighing.

"What does that even mean?" Michelle asked in a confused voice.

"You got us, sometimes, I think the label has no idea what they're talking about!" Zac said angrily, as he chimed in his opinion.

Michelle put a hand on Zac's shoulder, squeezing it. "Look, I know it hasn't been easy so far for guys, but you guys can't give up. You've fought tooth and nail to get to where you guys are, don't let a bunch executives, who probably have their heads so far up their asses, bring you guys down. Your music is good and it deserves it be recognized and respect it, so fight for it!" Michelle says to them while challenging them on, because she more than anybody knows what the life of a musician is like, and she knows Hanson has what it takes to survive and make it. She just hopes she did too.

Taylor looked at Michelle with such admiration. Everyday he found himself being more and more connected to her as his feelings for her continued grow. He only hoped she felt the same way about him too.

Everyone was silent for a moment. The guys were really absorbing Michelle's words in their heads and they knew what they have to do now to get the record finished; they had to keep fighting for their music. They knew they couldn't compromise.

"Thanks for the talk, Michelle, you're a really great friend, we'll lucky to have you." Ike told her.

"That we are." Taylor said while looking at Michelle.

Michelle smiled at Taylor.

Isaac and Zac saw the connection between their brother and Michelle and knew without a shadow of doubt they were in love with one another. The question is when will they finally realize it for themselves?

The moment was interrupted by Walker walking into the room. He opened the door abruptly, and saw the close moment Taylor and Michelle were having with Ike and Zac looking on as onlookers, and decided to put an end to it. He cleared his throat loudly.

"Dad!" Ike said, startled. "Can you knock?"

"What are you doing here?" Zac asked.

"Well, your mother told me to come and get you guys, because dinner is ready. Your sisters and your brother are all downstairs now, so it's just you four are missing." Walker said with such authority in his voice.

Ike and Zac got up quickly, because they knew their father meant business and made their way downstairs. Taylor grabbed a hold of one of Michelle's hands and helped her up and they too walked past Walker and began to walk downstairs. Before they could, however, Walker blocked their way.

"Taylor, aren't you going to introduce me to your new girlfriend here?" Walker casually asked his son while looking a bit intimidating. This made Michelle feel a little bit uncomfortable.

"Yeah, Michelle this is my father Walker... and dad you remember Michelle she was the girl who opened for us last year on tour and who came to the BBQ in September." Taylor explained.

"It's nice to meet you again Mr. Hanson."

Michelle extended her hand out to Walker and he just looked at it first and then finally shook it.

"Likewise." he answered back to her his voice filled with small hint of distaste, not smiling.

"Thank you again, for allowing me to spend the holidays with your family, it's an honor really." Michelle said nervously, still gripping Taylor's hand like a lifeline.

"I'm just surprised that your family doesn't celebrate Christmas, most people I have come across do celebrate this joyful occasion...but I guess there is always a "first". Are you not a Christian then?" Walker asked. Michelle could sense sarcasm in his voice.

"No." Michelle said while looking and feeling uncomfortable now. "I'm not."

Walker was silent for a moment while he considered that answer. Taylor cringed, but couldn't blame Michelle for being honest.

"So, how do your parents feel about you staying in a boy's house at your age?" Walker asked not so discreetly, leaning on the banister.

This shocked both Michelle and Taylor. Taylor didn't know what his father was getting at, or why he was giving Michelle a hard time.

"Well, they know there will be parental supervision and the house full with kids, so that puts their minds at ease. Plus they trust in me. I'm not a child, I mean, I'm 18 years old." Michelle said.

"Mmmh, well let's hope you don't do anything to ruin that trust, because trust me, when I tell you this, once a child breaks that trust they can never get it back." Walker said while staring at Michelle very intently, trying to scare her, which he was. Michelle looked at the floor, unsure how to answer, feeling scrutinized under his gaze.

Taylor could sense that tension was brewing between Michelle and his father, so he decided to put an end to the awful conversation.

"You know, why don't we go eat, everybody is probably waiting on us now. Shall we?" Taylor held his hand to Michelle and she didn't hesitate to take it and walk with Taylor down the stairs to the dining room table. She wanted to get away from Walker as quickly as possible.

"What was that about?" Michele whispered to Taylor as they descended the stairs. Taylor shrugged helplessly. He was angry at his father for making Michelle feel uncomfortable, but he knew this wasn't the right time to talk to his father about it.

"I don't know. But I'm sure it'll be fine." he said to make her feel better, but he wasn't sure he believed that. He too was shocked by how his father had treated Michelle. There was no reason for it. Taylor knew his father had liked Natalie, but Taylor was confused as to why his father couldn't, or rather refused, to be welcoming to Michelle, whom he had made clear was his girlfriend now. Taylor gave Michelle's hand a small squeeze and smiled at her. She relaxed a bit and tried to smile back, but was really shaken by the interaction she'd just had with Walker. She took a shaky breath.

Walker just watched his son and Michelle descend down the stairs and into the dining room with a look of contempt on his face.

Taylor and Michelle took their seats at the table and so did Walker at the head of the table. After joining hands in a prayer of grace, the Hanson family and Michelle begin to eat. Throughout dinner, Walker observed Michelle and how she interacted with Taylor and the rest of the family. He came to the conclusion though she is a nice girl, but was unsure if she was the type of girl he wanted Taylor to be with. He had liked Natalie a lot, and was confused why Taylor had broken up with her. Natalie was a good southern, Christian girl, where Michelle was not. In Walker's mind, she was a bad influence, and he was sure she'd break his son's heart. After the holidays were over, Walker decided he'd make it his mission to get Michelle out of Taylor's life, because in his mind she was no good for his son.

After dinner Michelle and Taylor were in the living room watching some Christmas movies with the rest of the Hanson siblings. Every one of them liked Michelle especially Zoe who instantly liked her and clung on to her every chance she got. Taylor found this adorable at first, but now was getting a bit annoyed with his youngest sister, because it was interrupting any small stolen moments he could have with Michelle. As the movie credits rolled, Diane and Walker came into the room.

"Zoe, Mackie, Avery, and Jessica it's past all your bedtimes, say your good nights and head upstairs and get ready for bed." Diana told the children sternly. The kids groaned in protest, but knew better than to argue with their mother.

All four kids said their good nights to their parents, brothers and to Michelle. Jessica and Avery were already making their way upstairs. Mackie was holding Zoe's hand and was about to walk them upstairs, until Zoe stopped and turned to look at Michelle.

"Michelle, can you read me a story before I go to sleep?" Zoe asked so innocently.

This shock everybody, because Zoe usually didn't take act this friendly with people she had only met a few times, but for some reason with Michelle, Zoe took a liking to her instantly. Taylor smiled at his youngest sister.

All eyes are on Michelle now.

"Well, that depends if it's okay with your mom and dad." Michelle replied.

Zoe turned to face her parents.

"Mommy! Daddy! Can Michelle please read me a story?"

Walker was about to say "no", until he saw that Zoe was giving him the the puppy eyes and lip, which he was a sucker for.

"All right, just one story and then you have to go to bed alright?" Walker told his youngest daughter. Zoe just nodded her head "yes" in response and smiled triumphantly, because she had gotten what she wanted.

"Go get your jammies on and brush your teeth. When you've done all that then you can call Michelle up so she can read a story. All right?" Diana told Zoe.

"Okay, Mommy!" Zoe chirped while she and Mackie raced up the stairs to get ready for bed.

"I'm sorry you got roped into this, dear." Diana said to Michelle apologetically.

"Oh, it's no problem I love kids, so I'm more than happy to read her a story." Michelle told her.

Diana and Taylor are both touched by Michelle's kindness and patience.

"Hey mom, dad, I'm going to just meet some friends for a late nightcap. I promise I won't be home too late." Ike said as he was putting his jacket and grabbing his wallet and car keys.

"See that you aren't." Walker said to Ike with such seriousness in his voice.

"I promise." Ike said as he kissed his parents goodbye, waved to everyone else, and walked out the door.

Sensing that the teens wanted to be left alone, Diana asked Walker to help her finish putting the leftovers away in the kitchen, which he doesn't really want to do, but it's one of those rare time he gets to spend some alone time with his wife without one of the kids interrupting them.

Soon it was only Michelle, Taylor and Zac left in the living room. Zac turned on the TV and mindlessly flipped through channels. He settled on a station that was playing "It's A Wonderful Life." Taylor sat down on the opposite couch from Zac and motioned for Michelle to sit next to him. She did so and he put his arm around her. He cleared his throat. Taylor was hoping to finally get some alone time with Michelle and he really wished Zac would get the hint.

"So, what do you guys wanna watch this movie?" Zac asked to break the awkward silence.

"Actually, I was wondering if Michelle and I have some alone time, we really haven't had any since she got here today." Taylor told Zac frankly.

Before Zac could say something back, a small little voice is heard over the staircase.

"Michelle! I'm ready for you to read me my story!" Zoe yelled out.

Michelle just smiled to herself. Zoe looked so cute in her pajamas.

"I'll be right up Zoe!" Michelle yelled back.

Michelle could hear Zoe's little feet running back into her room eagerly waiting for Michelle's arrival.

Michelle turns to face Taylor.

"I'll be back down in a few minutes okay?"

Taylor sighed in frustration, because he wanted to spend some quality alone time with Michelle, but he understood where she is coming from. Nobody can say "no" to Zoe, because she is just too cute for one not to.

"I'll be waiting." Taylor gave Michelle a quick kiss on the lips and smiled at her. Michelle smiled back. The two shared a lovey dovey look and Zac just rolled his eyes.

Michelle got up and left the room and made her way upstairs.

Taylor and Zac were left alone for the time being and the tension between them was evident given what happened earlier today. They hadn't yet had a chance to discuss what had happened with Kate earlier and Zac was eager to do so. Zac decided to break the ice.

"Tay, we need to talk about what happened earlier today...." Zac said, looking over at his brother and putting down the remote.

"Do we have to, man? I really don't want to get in it with you right now." Taylor said as he got up and began to walk into the kitchen.

"Why did you have to be such a dick to Kate today?" Zac said cutting straight to the chase.

Those words made Taylor stop in his tracks and he turned to face Zac.

"What? Were you not there when she was attacking with that self-righteous attitude of hers? She no right to get involved in my personal life." Taylor said, unbelieving that Zac could not see his side of the story.

Zac stood up and faced his brother. "Tay, please understand things from her P.O.V. Natalie is her best friend. Kate loves her like a sister. She feels for Natalie and is just trying to look out for her." Zac tried to explain to Taylor.

"So what? That's still doesn't give her the right to meddle into my personal life. I don't care if she's your girlfriend or Natalie's best friend, or whatever. Whatever happened between me and Natalie is our business and our business alone and your girlfriend has a hard time with that concept apparently."

"I understand your anger dude, but you had no right to throw Marion in her face the way you did." Zac told Taylor with a bit of resentment in his voice. "I think you hurt her feelings."

Taylor looked at Zac in disbelief.

"Unbelievable! I hurt her feelings? What about Marion's! Zac, you know she called me a while back and I was on the phone with her for an hour, she was crying! You broke her heart. You may have moved on, but she hasn't. She still has feelings for you."

Zac looked taken aback by that, like he hadn't known how Marion had felt about him. Taylor just rolled his eyes at Zac's indifference to his ex girlfriend's feelings.

Taylor continued. "Zac, the only reason why I threw Marion in Kate's face was because your girlfriend had the nerve to insult my girlfriend's integrity and character. She called Michelle a "boyfriend stealer" when you and I know damn well, that Michelle never went after me while I was with Natalie. I ended things with Natalie before Michelle and I even started dating. Michelle wasn't chasing after me, I was the one who chasing after her." Where unlike your girlfriend she went after you when you were still with Marion and she knew that, and she didn't care! Just as long she got what she wanted in the end." Taylor raved. "Which now, which then just happened to be you."

"You told her that? That Michelle didn't hit on you when you were with Nat?" Zac asked.

"Yeah, you're damn right I did. I'm sick and tired of hearing her self-righteous attitude. She needs to get knocked off that pedestal so many people have her on and be seen for who she really is. She is has no right to judging me when she is a guilty of doing a similiar thing as well." Taylor said honestly.

It killed Taylor to speak ill of the girl he knew his brother was in love with, but Taylor knew that Zac needed to see that Kate wasn't little "Miss Perfect". She was a flawed human being just like anybody else.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them. Zac shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at his feet. Taylor ran his hands through his long hair, sighing. He hated fighting with Zac.

"So, is that how you see me too?" Zac asked Taylor finally, making eye contact.

Taylor looked at Zac confused.

"What?"

"You said that Kate's a hypocrite for going after me while I was still involved with Marion, I guess that means I'm one too, since I wasn't exactly "the world's most greatest and faithful boyfriend. I did lie to Marion about talking to Kate...but I didn't cheat on her. But it's all the same to you, isn't it?"

"Zac that's not what I meant - " Taylor began to say, until Zac cut him off in mid-sentence.

"Let me finish please." Zac said, pleading.

Taylor shut his mouth and let Zac finish what he was about to say.

"Look, I know I did wrong. I've learned from it. But you and I are more alike than you think. You should be able to relate. Just like you, I met an amazing girl, who was unlike any girl I had ever met. I wanted to be with her from the moment I met her, but unfortunately things happened and I moved on thinking she had too. I didn't know if I'd see her again."

Zac took a deep breath and continued. Taylor sat down, stunned and listened as Zac continued.

"It wasn't until I saw her again almost two years later that I knew she was the one I wanted. That what I felt for her was the real thing and not just some silly little teenaged crush."

"It was wrong of me to lead Marion on the way I did, just like it was wrong of you to lead Natalie on the way you did. The bottom line is Tay, we both found our soul mates and were happy with them now, but just remember two innocent girls got hurt in the process and they didn't deserve that." Zac said with such maturity and honesty in his voice.

Taylor is left dumbfound, because he can't believe how wise his little brother has gotten for his age. Zac may only be 16 years, but he is wise beyond his years.

"You think Kate's your soulmate?" Taylor asked dubiously.

Zac saw the incredulous look on his brother's face and, suddenly embarrassed, shrugged.

"Maybe."

"You're right, Zac. When you get so smart?" Taylor asked his brother, getting up and giving him a hug.

"Dude, I've always been smart, I just try not to show too much...." Zac joked, mock shoving Taylor off of him.

The two shared a laugh, the tension between them gone.

"Look, man I'm sorry that I was so harsh with Kate, it's just that your girlfriend just gets to me you know?"

"Yeah, I know, you're not exactly alone on that front, I know she can be difficult to get along with, but for my sake can you please at least attempt to?" Zac pleaded.

Taylor rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'll try to get along with her better, but just one condition, she doesn't speak badly of Michelle in my presence, because that I won't tolerate than, you know more anybody what Michelle means to me."

"Yeah, I know, don't worry, I'll find a way to make sure Kate knows that Michelle is a topic is that off limits to speak of while you're around." Zac reassured Taylor.

"Good. Now, little brother if you don't mind, I'm going to go see what is taking my girlfriend so long to come back down...." Taylor said, as he made his way to the stairs.

"Well, good luck with that bro! As for me I'm headed downstairs to the basement to play some videos games. With Mackie being asleep, I finally have the Nintendo all to myself to play some "Super Mario Kart" without any interruptions'. Night!" Zac said, running boldly to the basement door and opening it with a flourish, disappearing downstairs to the basement.

Taylor made his way upstairs to Zoe and Mackie's room. The the door had been left open. Taylor was about to walk into the room until a certain sight made him stop dead in his tracks.

There was Michelle, sitting in the rocking chair with Zoe in her lap whom was falling more and more asleep as Michelle continued to read to her. This warmed Taylor's heart. He glanced over and noticed that Mackie was already sound asleep in his bed.

Taylor turned his attention back on Michelle and Zoe. Taylor watched how nurturing Michelle was with Zoe as she read to her.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the dawn of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

"Well, that sounded like it was a funny story, huh Zoe?" Michelle asked the little girl as she closed the book. She got nothing in response except little snores indicating that the little girl had now fallen asleep.

"I guess that's the point." Michelle said, chuckling.

She picked Zoe up in her arms and carefully placed in her bed and tucked her in. Michelle then gave Zoe a kiss on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Zoe. Sweet dreams little angel."

Michelle turned off the light and turned on Zoe's nightlight and then she carefully and quietly walked out the room trying not to wake up the two sleeping children. She saw Taylor is waiting for her in the hallway. Michelle quietly closed the door behind and walked towards Taylor.

"Hey you, sorry I took so long, that little sister of yours isn't easy to put sleep. I sang to her two songs before I read that story, because she insisted on hearing my singing voice."

"Well, she is a tough one to crack, but once you get her comfortable she'll fall asleep. Which is exactly what I just saw happen right now." Taylor told Michelle.

"You were watching me? Oh man, I am so embarrassed!" Michelle said, blushing.

Truthfully, Taylor was happy it'd taken Michelle longer than he thought to get Zoe to bed. If she had come down earlier, she'd have walked in on his and Zac's argument.

"Don't be, I think you were so cute in the way you read to my little sister and how wonderful and nurturing you were with her." Taylor said to Michelle with such love in his eyes.

Michelle bit her lip and secretly wished she could stop blushing any more than she already had. She kissed Taylor on the lips. It was very a slow and tender kiss. After they finished kissing, their foreheads were touching and with eyes closed, they savoured the close moment of intimacy between them.

"Let's spend the night together." Taylor suggested suddenly.

Michelle's eyes widened in shock. She had not expected him to say that.

"What?" she whispered.

Taylor saw the panic in her eyes and knows he said the wrong thing. He tried to correct his words.

"I don't mean for us to have sex, what I mean is, I want to spend the night with you, but with you sleeping next to me. I want to hold you in my arms, Michelle." Taylor said, smiling, sincerely.

Michelle is touched by this and a part of her wants to experience this with Taylor, but she was afraid they will get caught by his parents. Walker had made it clear that she was going to be sleeping in a separate room from Taylor. She didn't want break their trust, since they offered her to stay with them during holiday season and all.

"Tay, what if your parents catch us or one your brothers or sisters does?" Michelle asks, worried.

"They won't, they all sleep like the dead." Taylor told her trying to convince her to take this leap of faith with him.

Taylor gave Michelle a very sensual kiss that left her feeling weak in the knees. Darn him, she thought. He had a special power over her. She exhaled deeply and stared at Taylor, deciding what she should do. Okay. She would do it.

"You promise that we won't get caught?" She whispered, biting her lip nervously.

"I promise..." Taylor reassured her.

"Okay." Michelle said.

"Okay, go put your P.J.'s on and meet me downstairs in the living room in about ten minutes okay?" Taylor tells her.

Michelle just nodded her head in agreement.

Michelle went into Jessica and Avery's bedroom and quietly tried to get her nightwear out without making any noise. She removed all her clothes in the pitch dark and put on her P.J.s. She grabbed her robe and slippers and put them on. She then grabbed the wrapped gift she had unpacked and left by the nightstand. She then quietly opened the door and then closed it behind her, making sure she didn't make a sound. She then quietly made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After that, she headed downstairs. Michelle carefully placed the wrapped gift on the coffee table.

She saw that Taylor is already there waiting for her. He built in the fireplace a fire to keep them warm. She noticed that he had already made their bed for the night. He had made up a bed on the couch.

Taylor saw Michelle and smiled at her as he walked towards her.

"Hey!" He says while giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "You like? Look cozy?"

"Hey yourself." Michelle says back to him. "And yes, it does."

"You got down here fast." Michelle stated.

"Well, I had to make sure everything was in order. I wanted to make sure you felt exceptionally warm and uh, comfortable tonight." Taylor said, winking at her.

Taylor noticed that Michelle was wearing a black silk pair of pajamas, though being black, left little to the imagination. He could imagine what she looked like under them. He then blushed, feeling guilty for thinking of what Michelle would look like naked.

Michelle laughed, knowing what he was thinking, but also knowing he was joking. "Don't get too comfortable!" she said, smiling.

She felt so safe and wanted on a level that she couldn't explain it, but it just felt right being with Taylor.

Michelle noticed Taylor was wearing an old Rolling Stones t-shirt, probably his dad's, and a pair of plaid boxers. She thought he looked really cute in the oversized shirt. Recently he'd been growing his hair out, and it fell over his eyes. It was an awkward in-between length, about to his chin, and he had to keep pushing it back out of his eyes. Michelle thought he looked adorable.

Taylor cleared his throat in an effort to change the subject and clear the air of the sexual tension that existed between them.

"So I was thinking before we go to bed, that I could give you your present maybe? Michelle asked Taylor.

"Sure, I have something for you too." Taylor revealed to her.

Michelle went to retrieve the gift she had placed on the coffee table earlier. She waited for Taylor to get his gift to her from under the tree. Once he had it, they decided that Taylor should open his gift first.

"Here, I hope you like it." Michelle said, handing it to him, feeling a bit scared he won't.

Taylor opened his gift and his eyes widened in shock.

"Is this what I think it is?" Taylor asked enthusiastically.

"Yeah, it's the Beatles debut album "Please Please Me" on vinyl!"

"I've been looking everywhere for this album, how were able to find it?" Taylor asked Michelle with such curiosity, turning the record over and reading the back of it.

"Well, first I didn't know what to get you so I asked Ike and Zac what Beatles albums you already had on vinyl, and they told me that you almost every single one expect their debut album. They mentioned to me that you have been looking for this album for years now. So I remembered while I was on tour in England. I found this little vintage record store and I brought a lot records there....one of them including the Beatles debut album. I bought it specifically for you, because I planned on giving it to you for Christmas."

Taylor gave Michelle a quick kiss on the lips and smiled so warmly at her. This girl kept surprising him more and more each day.

"Thank you. I really love it." Taylor told her.

"Well, you're welcome..." Michelle told him.

"Okay, now it's time for you to open your gift."

Michelle squealed in excitement for she is just happy to be here with Taylor, and she loved surprises.

Taylor placed the gift in Michelle's hands. It was a small box wrapped very nicely. Michelle tore open the wrapping paper and saw it was a velvet box. Michelle slowly opened it and gasped in surprise and wonder at the sight in front of her.

The box contained a beautiful custom-made Victorian Burmese ruby bracelet that had to be at least five carat.... It was most beautiful piece of jewelry Michelle had ever seen.

"Oh my God, Taylor this bracelet is so beautiful, but it must have cost you a fortune. I can't accept this...." Michelle tells him, looking up at him.

"You can and you will." Taylor said simply.

"But it's too much!"

"Nothing is too much, don't you know there is anything in this world is more precious to me then you? I plan on spoil you on just about anything your heart desires." Taylor said while he touched Michelle's nose with his finger so slightly and then nuzzled his nose against her.

Michelle is touched by his words and knows he means them, but still it's hard for her to accept the gift knowing it cost him a great deal of money, money she knows he has worked so hard for.

Taylor sensed Michelle's troubles and reassured her.

"Michelle, please accept the gift. There is a reason I bought it for you. Here, try it on." Taylor carefully took the bracelet out of the box and put it on her wrist. It fits perfectly.

"What's that reason?" Michelle asked, curious.

"This bracelet represents you, the rubies are your birthstone, since you were born in July. The legend goes that the women who wear this birthstone are women who are both beautiful and strong. Who have this fire to them that shows their passion."

He continued. "You have that fire Michelle, you have that passion, I see it in you in every aspect of your life whether it's in your music or in your everyday life or with us."

Taylor stared at Michelle with such intensity it made her blush yet again.

Michelle looked into Taylor's eyes and knew it was only a matter of time until she gave herself completely to him, and that both excited and scared her at the same time, because no other guy has ever stirred up these intense feelings within her the way Taylor had. She thought he was perfect.

Their eyes locked on each other and they both moved closer to one another. They leaned in and shared a soft, but very erotic and sensual kiss that left them both feeling breathless.

"So you'll keep the bracelet then?" Taylor asked, his blue eyes searching her brown ones for reassurance.

Michelle had her eyes closed still as she was still reeling from that kiss they had just shared.

"Yeah, I'll keep it. Thank you for the gift, Tay," she tells him as she gives him a kiss on the cheek

"You're welcome..." He said back to her as he placed his forehead against hers and they stay in this position for couple of minutes, until Michelle broke contact, and pulled away.

"We should get some sleep."

"I agree." Taylor said. "The kids will have us all up early, I'm sure."

Michelle went to put her bracelet back in the velvet box and placed the box next to Taylor's Beatles album that is lying on coffee table now.

She walked to the couch and she lies next to Taylor as he covers them with the blankets to keep them warm throughout the night.

Taylor shut off the lamp and the only light that is their source now is the fire coming from the fireplace that is keeping the household warm.

Michelle snuggled up next to Taylor and Taylor wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on her forehead.....

"Merry Christmas, Michelle," Taylor whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Tay," Michelle whispered back.

Those were last words they said to each other as they closed their eyes, feeling safe and secure in each other's arms.


	10. "Now I See"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys continue to struggle with their record label.

  
-  
Now I see that I've been blind   
Now I see   
Took some time to realize   
But now I see   
Cannot live without you in my life   
-  


January 2002

Over Christmas, Ike had asked Michelle if she was interested in helping them with some backup vocals on a song they planned to put on their upcoming album, Underneath. Michelle had enthusiastically agreed, happy to help with their album in any way she could.

By this time Michelle, Taylor, and Ike were done with high school, which they'd all completed online or with the help of private tutors. They now had all the time in the world to work on their music. Living in the same city, they saw more of each other, and their friendships with each other grew deeper. Especially Michelle and Isaac, who had a lot in common and got along really well. Zac, however, was in his last year of high school. He had a private tutor in L.A. he saw regularly, and studied on his own otherwise. With every passing day, Michelle and Taylor grew closer. Since Christmas, a day didn't go by where they didn't see each other.

For the first time, all three were on their own, and they were loving it. Walker kept a close eye on the guys, calling often, but overall they were free agents. Stirling had secured the guys an apartment, not far from Michelle's actually, in Hollywood only six blocks from the studio. None of them really needed a car, however Taylor and Ike had brought theirs, but didn't drive them often. Zac didn't yet have a car, but was looking into buying his first one.

All four were lounging around in the studio that Friday waiting for Stirling to arrive. They had the studio reserved for the entire day. They hoped to record at least two songs that day, including "Deeper" which Michelle was going to sing on. Michelle was idly tuning her guitar. Taylor was writing in his songbook. Ike was staring into space, lost in his own world. Zac was studying a history textbook, taking diligent notes in preparation for a test his tutor was to give him the following day.

Michelle looked up and saw the clock.

"Wow, is it two already? Man, where does time go?" she muttered standing up and stretching.

Taylor looked up at her and nodded, closing his book. "I guess we'd better warm up. Stirling will be here soon."

They had taken a break from recording the album over the holidays, but now that the holidays were over, the guys were eager get the album done.

All four did a quick vocal warm up led by Taylor. The plan was to record the vocals for the song today. The music had already been recorded. Michelle had already studied the lyrics and listened to the music. She was ready to record her part.

Stirling showed up right on time, and as usual, was eager to get down to business. He had brought an unidentified man with him whom he introduced to the guys and to Michelle simply as "an associate." The guys were suspicious, and wondered what role he could possibly have in the recording of their album.

Stirling mumbled something about studio time being expensive and clapped his hands, asking everyone to quickly get into the booth, as he and his "associate" were ready to start. Michelle and the guys filed into the booth. Positioning himself behind the mic, Zac gave Stirling the dirtiest of looks. Stirling chose to ignore it. All four positioned themselves behind the mic and Stirling gave them the thumbs-up to start. Isaac started singing.

"She moves with a tender kiss - "

Isaac had barely gotten through the first line of the song when Stirling cut the mic and switched back on the monitor.

"Uh, Ike?" he said brightly, "Can we do that again? Maybe a bit faster this time?" he looked at his "associate" who nodded in agreement.

Zac's eyes narrowed, and Ike just looked at the ground, knowing an argument was inevitable.

"Faster?" Taylor said dubiously. "It's not a fast song, Stirling. It's a ballad."

Michelle just stood there, uncomfortable.

Stirling's "associate" piped up.

"Look, guys I dig this song. It's got some great lyrics, I feel it, ya know? But why not experiment with making it a bit more upbeat? I could add a backtrack and we could -

Zac cut him off.

"Uh, excuse me, who are you again? Why are you telling us how to do our music?"

The "associate" laughed nervously and cleared his throat, looking at Stirling for guidance. Stirling said nothing.

"I apologize. My name is Sam Green. I'm a sound mixer. Stirling has hired me to consult on this project."

Zac looked at Stirling, ignoring Sam. He took off his headphones and let them fall around his neck.

"When did we get a new mixer? Why didn't you consult us on this?" Zac demanded shrilly. Taylor sighed and ran his hands through his hair, glancing at Michelle and smiling apologetically. Isaac just stared at the floor, clearly uncomfortable.

Stirling paused before saying in a patronizing tone, "We don't need to consult you, Zac. You guys do not choose who mixes the album. We do."

"But he's trying to change our sound!" Zac said.

"We are not trying to change your sound, we're just trying to make it more marketable." Stirling replied patiently. "There's no point in recording an album if it won't sell, is there?"

Zac stared at Stirling, unbelieving. He was so angry he was shaking.

"That is not the point!" Zac yelled.

Taylor put an arm on his brother's shoulder, trying to calm him.

"Take a break, Zac. Walk it off. Go get a Coke." he whispered.

Surprisingly, Zac did so. He angrily took off his headphones, handed them to Michelle, who was standing to his right, and stalked out the side door of the recording booth.

Stirling watched Zac walk off then said "Take a 5, guys." He then switched off the monitor, likely not wanting to hear what they said in the booth.

"Can't we just get through a day of recording without Zac causing an issue" Taylor asked to no one in particular, signing and sitting down on a chair. He ran his hands through his hair again. Michelle sat next to him and gave him a small hug in support.

"I see what you mean now." she said simply. She felt bad that they were struggling so badly with their record label.

"He'll be ok. Just give him a few minutes." Isaac said.

Michelle looked out the window and saw Stirling and Sam discussing something. Stirling looked angry. With the monitor off, she couldn't hear them and they couldn't hear her and the guys, which was probably a blessing considering what Taylor said next.

"Zac's right, though. That's bullshit just bringing a new sound engineer in this late in the game. And without consulting us? It's our damn album!"

Zac returned a few minutes later with a Coke, carefully took his headphones, put them back on, and positioned himself back at the mic. If looks could kill, Stirling would be dead. Everyone else followed suit, and waited for instruction from Stirling that he was ready to start recording again.

\---

Three hours had passed, and they had still been unable to record the first verse without disagreeing on how it should be sung. They'd all gotten so frustrated with their inability to record a single song without arguing that they'd called it a day early. This was not the first time this had happened. Since November they'd been struggling to get all the songs recorded. They had more than enough material, but Stirling insisted on them writing more songs. He never seemed content with the choices the guys presented for the album.

At this point, they'd successfully recorded "Hey" and "Crazy Beautiful." That was it.

Today it was especially important that they get the song recorded in the allotted time they had the studio booth booked for, as Michelle was involved. Her manager had been completely on-board with Michelle collaborating on the album, but as long as it could be recorded in a reasonable amount of time. Michelle was a big star now, and as far as her manager was concerned, her time was worth something. It concerned him already that she spent so much time with the guys, when he wished she spent more time on her own music.

By the end of the day, Stirling had stalked out, followed by Sam. Isaac had followed, disgusted. Michelle, Taylor, and Zac had trudged back to the guys apartment, feeling defeated and frustrated. It was Friday, which meant they had the weekend to regroup before recording started again the following Monday. They'd wasted another day of precious studio time. With every day that passed, the guys got more frustrated and angry with their label.

Taylor keyed them in and Zac immediately laid down on the couch. Michelle sat next to him, unsure if she should say anything, but wanting to be supportive. Taylor sighed heavily and fell into the large plush chair beside the couch. Isaac was nowhere to be seen.

The three sat there, silent. Finally, Taylor spoke up.

"Well, that didn't go well. But there's always tomorrow."

Michelle nodded. "That's true."

She glanced at Zac, hoping he'd say something. He didn't. He just continued to lay there, staring at the ceiling, his face unreadable.

Taylor sighed and got up. "Anyone hungry? I could order some pizza from that place down the street."

"Sure." Michelle said quietly.

She looked at Zac again. Lately, he'd been a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any time.

"Zac?" she asked. "You down for some pizza?"

Zac shook his head. "No. I'm not hungry."

Michelle glanced at Taylor and sighed.

Taylor disappeared into the kitchen to order the pizza.

Michelle began to unbutton her heavy boots. "Where's Ike?" she asked, looking around. She didn't see his jacket or keys anywhere.

"I don't know. Maybe he's at Stirling's office trying to talk some sense into him. Or at the bar." Zac replied.

Zac sat up and looked at Michelle.

"I don't know if I can deal with this anymore, Michelle." he admitted. "They're yanking our chain. We're not getting anywhere. All we want is to record our damn album, and it seems like all they're doing is fighting us through the whole process. I wish we could get a new label."

"Why can't you?" Michelle asked.

"We can't. We have a contract with them." Zac said simply. "They own the rights to our music. They're paying for this record to be recorded."

Michelle frowned, thinking. There had to be a way they could make this work.

"I just don't get what their issue is. They signed you guys, they obviously like your music. "This Time Around" did well, right? They were pleased with it? So what's the issue now?"

"All they say, every time we give them a song, is that it's not "marketable" enough. That it's not "poppy" enough. They just keep asking for more material, and we've already given them dozens of songs!"

Michelle felt bad for Zac, she could tell he was really frustrated, but she didn't know what to say to make it any better. The truth was, she couldn't relate. Her label, Maverick Records, had been very supportive of her sound and had given her full artistic freedom for her record, The Spirit Room, which had been released the past August to critical acclaim.

"They'll come around." Michelle said, unsure what else to say.

Zac nodded, trying to smile. "I hope so."

The two sat there, quietly, thinking. Zac suddenly took out his notebook and scribbled something in it. Michelle could see the wheels in his head spinning. He hummed a couple bars to himself, and wrote something else down. He bit his lip and erased something, then wrote something else down in its place. Michelle smiled watching him. She could tell he was working on a song. He looked adorable when he was concentrating.

"What are you working on?" she asked.

"A song." he said simply, looking up and smiling at her.

"What's it called?"

"Strong Enough to Break."

Taylor soon returned, telling them he had ordered a pizza, and was going to pick it up in person. He left, closing the door quietly behind him.

After a while, Zac put down his book, his sudden inspiration gone, and he turned on the television. Him and Michelle watched a game show, and waited for Taylor to return. Michelle wondered where Isaac had gone, and when he'd be coming back.

\---

It was a beautiful, sunny day that Saturday, and despite last week's frustrations with the recording, Zac was in good spirits because Kate was visiting him this weekend.

Leaving his bedroom, he walked past Isaac's door and saw it was closed. He thought about knocking, then thought better of it. Isaac had been out late last night at a nearby bar. He had been going there often. Taylor thought he went there to get away from them. He'd probably sleep into the afternoon.

After brushing his teeth and splashing his face with cold water, Zac took a moment to study himself in the bathroom mirror. His hair had gotten quite long. He was pleased. He threw it into a messy ponytail and flipped off the bathroom light.

Taylor's door was also shut, and Zac chuckled as he walked up to it, knowing Michelle was in there with him. He didn't know if his brother and Michelle were sleeping together, though he figured they were. He figured it wasn't his place to ask, as Taylor could get so touchy talking about his personal life.

Zac knocked lightly.

"Tay? You awake?"

He heard nothing.

"Tay! Wake up! I need to borrow your car."

There was still no answer, so having no other choice, Zac opened the door to see Michelle and his brother sprawled in bed together, sound asleep. Zac smiled to himself.

Zac shook his brother awake.

"What?" Taylor muttered, getting up on his elbow and rubbing his eye with his free hand. "What is it?"

Michelle stirred, but didn't wake up.

"Can I borrow your car? I have to pick up Kate at the airport."

Taylor hesitated. While he trusted his brother, he has only just gotten his license.

"I don't know, Zac. You just got your license."

"Oh, come on, Tay! I passed the test like a boss."

There was a pause. "Fine." Taylor said. "But don't crash my car." he reached over to the bedside table and retrieved his keys. "Come right back, okay? I need the car later. Michelle and I were planning to drive out to the canyon today."

Taylor threw Zac the keys.

"No problem, bro." Zac said, grinning as he left the bedroom before his brother could change his mind, shutting the door behind him.

"Was that Zac? What did he want?" Michelle mumbled, turning over and facing Taylor.

"Nothing, babe. Just to borrow the car," he said, giving her a kiss.

"Okay," Michelle said sleepily, turning around and going back to sleep.

\---

Later that day, Taylor and Michelle were making a late breakfast in the kitchen when they heard the front door open. Taylor, assuming it was Zac with Kate, walked into the living room to get his keys back.

But instead of Kate, Natalie stood there. Taylor stopped dead in his tracks, taken aback. The two stared at each other. Natalie finally broke eye contact, and looked uncomfortably at the ground.

Taylor cleared his throat. "What are you doing here, Natalie?" he asked, not rudely, but the surprise was evident in his voice.

"Hey, Taylor. I guess Kate didn't tell you I was coming?" she said with a little smile.

"No. She did not." Taylor said, looking at Zac, who shrugged helplessly. Taylor took that as that Zac hadn't known either.

"It's good to see you, Taylor. Your hair has gotten so long."

Taylor didn't answer. Natalie stood there awkwardly.

"Well, I'm going to go see if Kate needs help with her luggage," Natalie said finally, turning and going back outside.

Taylor quickly pulled Zac aside.

"You didn't tell me Natalie was coming!"

"I didn't know!" Zac insisted. "She was just..there when I got to the airport to pick Kate up. Kate said she wanted it to be a "surprise" for you."

Taylor seethed silently. He could guess what Kate's agenda was.

"You couldn't have called to give me a heads-up?"

Zac shrugged helplessly, feebly handing Taylor back his car keys.

"I was driving."

Taylor sighed and stalked into the kitchen.

"Bad news." he said, figuring he'd just cut to the chase. "Natalie is here."

"What?" Michelle asked, turning from the stove, a spatula in her hand. "Why?"

"Kate wanted it to be a "surprise."

"I see." Michelle's brow furrowed. She put the spatula down and wiped her hands on her apron. She could tell Taylor was angry. She wasn't crazy about the idea of Natalie spending the weekend with them, but figured she had no choice. She'd made the best of it, and not let Kate get to her.

"I just can't believe she'd pull this shit!" Taylor said angrily. "She knows damn well how awkward this is going to be for us, but she doesn't care! She's just trying to piss you off."

Michelle put her arms around Taylor's neck and gave him a small, reassuring kiss.

"Babe, it's ok. I'm fine with her being here. As long as she's cool with me?"

Taylor nodded. "I think she'll be fine. She's a nice girl. It's Kate I'm worried about. She better not start anything with you."

Zac walked into the kitchen and cleared his throat.

"Sorry to interrupt, guys. Nat, Kate and I are going to go get brunch."

Taylor nodded gratefully. He knew Zac had probably suggested that to give him some space.

\--

January 2002

 

\---

 

Stirling had called Isaac earlier that morning to ask for a conference call with him, Taylor, Zac and Jeff Fenster, the head of Island def Jam. Michelle and Taylor had left the apartment by the time Zac, Kate, and Natalie returned from brunch. Isaac had woken up, and all four were sitting in the living room, waiting for Stirling to call. Kate and Zac were snuggled on the big chair together, her sitting on his lap, while Zac was braiding her hair. Natalie sat by herself on the couch. Isaac stood, staring out the window. 

 

“Stirling must have something important to say to call us on a Saturday,” Isaac was saying, pacing nervously. “What do you think it’s about?” 

 

Zac shrugged. Kate whispered something in his ear and he giggled. 

 

“Maybe he wants to apologize for being a dick?” Zac quipped.

 

Isaac rolled his eyes. 

 

“I highly doubt that.”

 

“Well, regardless, Taylor better get back soon before he calls.” Zac said.

 

Isaac called Taylor earlier and told him about the conference call. Taylor had said he’d head home right away.

 

Isaac’s phone started to ring. He looked at it and nodded.

 

“It’s Stirling.” 

 

He answered. 

 

“Hey Stirling. Here, let me put you on speaker,“ he said, walking over and placing the phone on the coffee table.

 

“Hey guys,” Stirling’s voice came through the speaker. “How are we today?”

 

Zac didn’t say anything, just rolled his eyes, mimicking his greeting. Kate giggled again. Isaac shushed her.

 

“We’re fine, Stirling. But Taylor isn’t here yet.” Isaac replied. “Do you want us to call you back when he gets here?”

 

“That’s okay, we can start without him. Here, let me get Jeff on the line. Hold on a sec.” 

 

There was a beep, then a pause. Then another beep.

 

“Okay, we’re all on.” Stirling said. 

 

He wasted no time getting to the point.

 

“Yesterday was a disaster, guys. I don’t know how to put this...we’re suspending recording of the album for the time being until we can come to an agreement.”

 

Zac looked at Kate, shocked. Natalie’s eyes were wide. She knew what this meant. 

 

“What?” Isaac said after a pause. “What does that mean?”

 

“It means as of now, we are suspending recording of Underneath until further notice.”

 

“You can’t do that.” Zac said, his shock turning to anger. “We have a contract!”

 

At that, Jeff joined the conversation.

 

“Zac, I understand why you’re upset, but I wasn’t aware of how bad it had gotten with the recording. From what I’m getting from Stirling, you’ve only recorded two songs as of now? How is that possible? You’ve used over 70 hours of recording time.”

 

Zac was silent. Jeff was right. He looked at Isaac for guidance. Isaac just sighed and sat down heavily on the couch. 

 

“That is correct,” Isaac said, “but it’s not our fault. We have provided more than enough material, but you have rejected all of it but a few songs. We’re up against a wall here, Jeff.”

 

Jeff responded. “I get your frustration, Isaac. But we’re running a business here. We need to re-negotiate the contract. This isn’t working. I’m sorry, but we need to suspend recording until we can come to an agreement as to what songs to include on the album.”

 

There was silence all around. 

 

Taylor and Michelle walked in to see everyone around the coffee table, and knew immediately that they had already started the conference call. Taylor took his coat off and sat down on the couch next to Isaac. Michelle perched on the arm of the large chair that Zac and Kate were sitting in.

 

“Uh, hey Stirling, I’m here now. What did I miss?” Taylor asked.

 

“Hey Taylor.” Jeff said, “we were just telling your brothers that we have decided to suspend recording until further notice, until we can come to an agreement as to which songs to include.”

 

Michelle could see Taylor’s jaw twitch. She knew he gritted his teeth when he was stressed. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Taylor, look. This isn’t working. We’ve wasted hours of studio time. I need you three to sit down and re-evaluate what songs you want included on the album. We’ve already agreed on and recorded “Hey” and “Crazy Beautiful” but we need more. We need a hit song, Taylor. Without a hit song, frankly, this album isn’t worth our time. Something upbeat. Like “If Only.” What you’ve given us isn’t cutting it. Once you have a hit song, send it to me and Stirling and I will look it over and give you our feedback as to if we want to move forward with the record.”

 

“So that’s it? You’re just dumping us?” Zac asked.

 

“No, Zac. We have a contract with you guys and want to honor it. We are simply suspending recording of the album until you can come up with some marketable material.”

 

All three sat there just staring at each other, feeling helpless as to what to do.

 

“Well, I guess that’s that, then.” Isaac said, trying to disguise the animosity in his voice.

 

“Alright guys, we’ll be in touch. Again, I am sorry to do this to you, but it’s business. Don’t take it personally. Please keep us posted on any new material you create. Let’s talk next month, okay?”

 

“Next month?” Michelle mouthed, disbelieving. It was only the first weekend in the month.

 

And with that, the line went dead. 

 

Zac stood up, angry. He started pacing.

 

“What the fuck. What the fuck!” he swore. “I can’t believe this!”

 

“Baby, it’s okay,” Kate whispered, getting up and hugging him. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

An idea occurred to Michelle suddenly.

 

“You should start filming this whole process of making the album. Make a documentary or something. Also, it’d be useful to have stuff on camera if you need to sue later.”

 

Taylor looked at Michelle, surprised. He hadn’t thought of that, but it made sense.

 

“You are so smart.” he said simply. “We should do that.” 

 

Isaac nodded. “I think it’s a good idea too.”

 

They spent the next hour or so discussing the conference call, until they were all tired of thinking about it. After a while, Michelle suggested they get out of the apartment. They all agreed they needed something to get their minds off it. Natalie suggested they go bowling, which everyone agreed to. 

 

Perhaps some fun would help get their minds off the upsetting fact that their album, which they’d been struggling to record since last November, may never be finished.

 

\---

 

Bowling had proved to be a good distraction for the guys. They had decided on guys vs. girls, with Isaac, Taylor and Zac playing against Natalie, Kate and Michelle. The guys liked this bowling alley, because it was all-ages, and the bar didn’t card. So far, it appeared from the outside that the whole group was getting along fine - or at least that’s how it seemed on the outside, though the truth was far from that. 

 

Taylor had been avoiding Natalie since she had arrived, but he knew he couldn’t do that forever. They had to talk. A few games in, he asked her if she would join him outside for a smoke. Much to Michelle’s distaste, Taylor had recently started smoking. No one could say exactly when he had begun, but he had started sometime around when they moved to L.A. 

 

Natalie followed Taylor outside. He lit a smoke. She stood beside him awkwardly, unsure why he asked her to come outside.

 

“Smoking is so gross.” Natalie remarked, scrunching up her nose.

 

“Sorry.” Taylor muttered, fanning the air with his hand. “I’ll blow it away from you.”

 

There was a pause as Taylor took a drag from his cigarette and thought about what he was going to say to Natalie.

 

“Look, Nat...we need to talk.” 

 

Natalie nodded, looking at her feet.

 

“Okay.”

 

Taylor turned to her. “I’m sorry for what I did. Breaking up with you on the phone was a really shitty thing for me to do. For some reason, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.” 

 

Natalie looked up at him and gave him a tiny brave smile.

 

“Thanks for the apology.”

 

There was a pause then Natalie continued.

 

“So you and Michelle are really together, aren’t you?”

 

Taylor nodded. “We are.”

 

“Do you love her?” Natalie asked.

 

Taylor paused, unsure if he should answer. He decided to be honest.

 

“Yes. I do.”

 

Taylor saw Natalie’s face fall. 

 

“I knew it,” Natalie said quietly, “I knew you dumped me for her.” 

 

Taylor could hear sadness in her voice. He almost wished she was more angry, it would have been easier to handle. He’d feel less guilty. He truly hadn’t meant to hurt Natalie. He knew he’d gone about things all wrong, and desperately wished he could fix things between him and Natalie. He knew they should have never been anything but friends, and now it seemed he’d ruined that possibility.

 

“It wasn’t like that,” Taylor lied. Natalie gave him a look. “Okay, I did want to be with her...but in my defense, I did tell you I didn’t think we should date, that I only saw you as a friend. But you pushed it...and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

 

At that, Natalie laughed bitterly. “So, that’s what you do then? Have sex with girls you only see as ‘friends’? Seriously?” 

 

Taylor didn’t know what to say to that. He had slept with Natalie, and though it had only been once, he knew it had meant much more to her than it had to him. 

 

Taylor leaned against the wall and took the last drag of his cigarette, flicking the butt into the gutter. A van drove by filled with teeangers, blaring music. A girl Taylor didn’t recognize waved out the window at him. Natalie and Taylor watched the van drive away.

 

“Do you know that girl?” Natalie asked, looking at him. 

 

“I don’t think so.” Taylor replied. “Maybe it was a fan.”

 

“I’m going back inside.” Natalie said, turning on her heel and disappearing back into the building.

 

Taylor sighed and lit another cigarette.

 

\--- 

 

By the time Taylor had returned, Zac, Michelle, Isaac and Kate were lounging in the bowling seating area, done with actual bowling. Natalie was nowhere to be seen. Kate was eating a huge bowl of nachos which Zac kept picking at until she’d swat his arm away, laughing. Isaac sipped a rum and coke. Michelle had ordered a hotdog and fries. 

 

Taylor sidled in the booth next to Michelle and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled and offered him a bite of her hot dog. 

 

“Where’s Natalie?” Taylor asked casually, chewing a bite of hotdog, worried she’d gone home alone. 

 

“In the bathroom.” Isaac said.

 

“You’re so rude, Taylor.” Kate said out of nowhere, scrunching her nose. 

 

“What?” Taylor said, taken aback. He hadn’d said anything to Kate.

 

“Get your own hot dog, jeez.” 

 

Taylor and Michelle just stared at Kate, not sure how to respond. 

“Uh, Kate it’s okay. I offered him a bite.” Michelle said finally. 

 

“Oh,” Kate said, “well, it’s rude anyway.” and with that, she got up and left, saying she needed to use the restroom and ‘check’ on Natalie.

 

“She’s so hostile,” Michelle mumbled, taking a tentative bite of her hotdog. “I don’t know why.” 

 

Zac shrugged helplessly. “Nah, she just hates rudeness. You should see how she gets when I chew with my mouth open.” 

 

Taylor had to laugh at that, because he could totally imagine Kate’s reaction to that.

 

Michelle finished her hot dog and pushed her basket away, sighing. 

 

“She doesn’t like me.”

 

Zac shook his head. “That’s not true, Michelle.”

 

Taylor scoffed.

 

“She hates Michelle. She hates me. We all know why.” 

 

Zac sighed, sitting back. He loved Kate, and so wished she got along better with his brother and his girlfriend. He hadn’t anticipated how difficult this would be. He wished Taylor had never dated Natalie.

 

“Can’t you just get along with her? For me?” Zac asked his brother, almost pleading.

 

“I’m trying,” Taylor sighed. “But she has to try, too.”

 

\---

 

The next day, Sunday, it rained, so everyone decided to spend the day at the apartment, just hanging out. Taylor and Michelle had spent most of the day writing a song together in his room. Kate, Natalie, and Zac were watching movies. Isaac slept most of the day.

 

But by nightfall, Isaac had woken up and invited over some friends, and a full-fledged party was in effect in their apartment. Through his bedroom door, Taylor could hear loud music coming from the stereo and the voices of many people. 

 

Taylor had just left his room when he ran into Kate in the hallway headed to the bathroom. He gave her a polite smile, and passed her. 

 

“Taylor?” Kate said.

 

Taylor stopped, sighed and turned around.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What have you two been doing in there all day?”

 

“Michelle and I are working on a song,” he explained, even though he didn’t have to explain himself to her. He was playing nice as his brother had asked him too. 

 

“Why don’t you two join us in the living room? We’re having a party here, Taylor. You’re being rude and antisocial. Zac is asking about you.” 

 

Partying was the last thing Taylor wanted to do, and he knew Michelle felt the same, but he tried to find a nice way to decline the invitation.

 

“Look, Kate, I just want to spend some quality time with my girlfriend, okay? It’s been a stressful week, and I’m just not feeling very social right now.”

 

Taylor could see Kate’s face darken. She didn’t like that answer. She paused before she spoke. 

 

“You’re not going to talk to her at all, are you?” she accused, referring to Natalie.

 

Taylor sighed.

 

“Not so loud, okay? I did talk to her yesterday, at the bowling alley, for your information. I tried to apologize and she just walked away.”

 

“So, try harder, Taylor! You really hurt her. This is an opportunity to set things right.”

 

Taylor narrowed his eyes. He had been right. Kate’s entire reason for bringing Natalie here had been to guilt-trip him into getting back with her.

 

“Set things right? What does that mean? I broke up with her, Kate! Okay? You are the one who should feel bad for bringing her here! What did you think? That I’d feel bad for her and we’d get back together? I have a girlfriend, Kate! You need to respect that.” 

 

“Not so loud!” Kate hissed, “You want her to hear you? This apartment isn’t that big.” 

 

Taylor took a step closer to her and said as quietly and calmly as he could,

 

“Kate, leave us alone, okay? I have no issue with you being here to visit Zac, but as long as you try to pull this shit, we aren’t friends, okay? I can tolerate you because Zac loves you, but that’s as far as it goes.”

 

Kate glared at Taylor. He glared back. Before Kate could reply, Natalie appeared in the hallway.

 

“Hey guys,” she said awkwardly. “What’s up? Is this the line for the bathroom?” 

 

Taylor shook his head, and gave a small wave.

 

“Hey Nat. Nope. It’s all yours.”

 

She smiled as she passed him and closed the bathroom door behind her.

 

Taylor turned back towards Kate, his patience wearing thin. 

 

“Are we done?” he asked.

 

“For now.” she said, then turning on her heel and disappearing back into the living room. 

 

Taylor stared at the place she had been standing for a moment before going back into his bedroom and slamming the door behind him.

 

\---

 

The night had dragged on, and the party in their apartment had gotten louder and more rowdy. Taylor had not left the room since his confrontation with Kate, and neither had Michelle, sans to use the restroom.

 

The two had abandoned their song, and were relaxing on the bed, listening to some quiet music, chatting and just enjoying each other’s company.

 

“Should we go out there and see what’s going on?” Michelle asked, “It sounds like it’s getting pretty crazy.”

 

Taylor shook his head, running his hand down Michelle’s arm, caressing it absentmindedly. 

 

“Nah. Let Ike ruin the apartment for all I care.” 

 

“Are you okay?” Michelle asked. 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

Suddenly, Taylor turned towards her.

 

“You wanna get out of here?” he asked.

 

“Now?” Michelle asked, eyes wide. “Where would we go? It’s 2 a.m.”

 

“No, I mean like for the weekend.” 

 

“Well, Tay, this month is pretty busy for me. I could do the last weekend...”

 

“That’s perfect.” Taylor said, kissing her on the lips.

 

Michelle smiled. He was so cute when he got excited about something.

 

“What’s the occasion?” she asked, getting excited at the prospect of getting out of town and spending some alone time with Taylor.

 

“Nothing. Just that I love you.” 

 

Michelle’s heart melted at his words. She put her hand up and tucked a strand of his golden-brown hair behind his ear. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment before sharing a longer, more passionate kiss. 

 

“You love me?” she asked quietly, hoping she hadn’t misheard him.

 

“You heard me,” he said seriously. “I love you, Michelle. I’ve never said that to anyone else before. I can’t imagine my life without you. I just wanted you to know that.”

 

Taylor was looking at her so seriously she almost laughed. She knew he was serious, and she absolutely believed him. She felt the same, but still felt hesitant to say it. He looked at her expectantly, obviously wanting her to return the sentiment. She looked down, embarrassed, the words on her tongue but she couldn’t get herself to say them. 

 

“You don’t have to say it back,” he said quickly. “If you don’t want to.”

 

Taylor got off the bed, and walked over to the dresser. He rummaged through the drawers for something, but Michelle could tell he was pretending because he was embarrassed.

 

“I mean, I know we haven't been going out that long, but I’ve known you a while...and well, I always knew you were the one, and when you know you know...you know?”

 

He was rambling. Taylor did that when he was nervous or upset. Michelle sat on the bed, watching him, unsure what to say. He shut the dresser hard, abandoning whatever he had been searching for, and shoved his hands in his pockets, biting his lip, looking down at the carpet. Michelle could tell his feelings were hurt, and that was the last thing she wanted. 

 

She got off the bed and walked over to him. She took his hands out his pockets and interlaced her fingers with his. She looked into his eyes and said, with as much seriousness as she could.

 

“I am so crazy about you, Taylor. But love is a hard thing for me to say. I’ve had...uh, a bad experience. I’m just not there yet.”

 

Taylor nodded. “Okay. Fair enough.”

 

His feelings were hurt, but he was trying to be mature about it. 

 

What she said next he didn’t expect.

 

“So, since I can’t say it yet, I’m going to prove it to you.” 

 

And with that, Michelle took her shirt off in one fluid motion, and threw it across the room, grinning. 

 

Taylor gulped and stared at her chest. She was wearing a black lace bra. Realizing he was being rude, he quickly blushed and looked up at her face. She was smiling. He was relieved.

 

“What? You never seen boobs before?” Michelle asked playfully, grabbing his face in her hands and kissing him. 

 

“Uh, yeah but...not yours.” he muttered. “They’re perfect.” he blurted out. 

 

Michelle laughed.

 

“Thanks.” 

 

She stood there, not sure what to do next. Taylor figured this was his cue to do something.

 

He led her by the hand back over to the bed and motioned for her to sit down. He sat next to her. She reached over and started to awkwardly unbutton his jeans.

 

“Hey, uh, whoa!” he laughed, taking her hand away. He looked at her very seriously.

 

“Don’t get me wrong… I really want to do this with you, but I don’t want you doing it because I told you I loved you. I want you to do it because you love me, too.”

 

“This is how I can show you I love you.” she said, turning towards him and reaching behind her back and unhooking her bra. She felt completely comfortable being half-naked in front of the man she loved.

 

If Michelle had looked good in a bra she looked a hundred times better without one on. Taylor gulped, and felt his pants growing tighter involuntarily. He shifted uncomfortably.

 

She kissed him then, and he kissed her back. The passion always bubbling beneath the surface when they were together overtook them, and soon they were fervently making out on the bed, her body lain over his, and his hands exploring her body. 

 

The door flew open and Zac stood there, looking unamused. Michelle jumped up and quickly covered herself with a blanket.

 

“What the hell?” Taylor says with such anger and annoyance in his voice.

 

“ZAC! Do you knock?” Michelle asked angrily, but her face fell when she saw the look on Zac’s face. 

 

“It’s Ike.” Zac said, swaying slightly. It was obvious he’d been drinking. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asked, seeing the look on his brother’s face. He jumped out of bed, walking up to his brother.

 

“He’s sick. I think he drank too much. I think he has alcohol poisoning.”


	11. "California"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isaac ends up in the hospital. Marit shows up. Marion and Zac have a talk.

  
-  
Pedal to the floor  
Thinkin' of the roar  
Gotta get us to the show  
California here we come  
-  


Sunday night

"He's sick. I think he drank too much. I think he has alcohol poisoning."

Zac looked worried.

"What?" Taylor asked, getting off the bed. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, just uh, come look, okay? Kate said he does. I think we need to call 911."

"Oh my God." Michelle said.

Taylor and Michelle rushed to get dressed as Zac waited in the doorway.

"He's passed out on the couch," Zac said as the three rushed into the living room. Kate was sitting next to him, trying to get him to drink a glass of water, but Isaac was totally passed out. There were two guys Taylor didn't recognize standing over him, clearly concerned. One shook his shoulder and asked repeatedly if he was okay. After a moment, they shrugged and walked away to rejoin the party, saying something about letting him "sleep it off."

Kate shook her head, disgusted at Isaac's friends lack of concern over his welfare.

"I know what to do," Kate told Taylor, sitting up. "I've seen this happen to friends."

Michelle rushed over to Isaac, sitting on the opposite side of him, and shook his shoulder gently.

"Ike?" she said gently. "Wake up."

"I've tried," Kate sighed, putting the untouched glass of water on the coffee table. "He's totally passed out."

Isaac stirred and mumbled something, slowly comprehending what was going on.

"Who is that? Michelle?" he slurred, obviously heavily intoxicated. He then passed back out.

"IKE!" Michelle said more loudly, "I need you to stay awake, buddy."

"How long has he been passed out like this?" Taylor demanded. Zac shrugged. Kate, obviously worried about Ike, glanced worriedly between Zac and Taylor.

"Not long, I don't think..." Zac said, "Kate and I were in the kitchen and I came out and he was passed out. Kate told me he may have alcohol poisoning."

"Shit." Taylor swore, trying to decide what they should do. He worried that they would get in trouble taking Isaac to the hospital because they were underage, and Zac was obviously drunk.

"Taylor, he has alcohol poisoning." Kate said, as if reading his mind. "Better safe than sorry. I think we should take him to the hospital.

Taylor could see Ike was shivering. It wasn't cold in the room.

"Should we just make him throw up?" Zac asked.

"No, that's not a good idea," Kate said, sure she knew what she was talking about. "I remember this from school. They made us take a class on Alcohol and Drugs. You're not supposed to make them throw up because they could choke in their own vomit."

Michelle looked at Kate, alarmed.

"Shit, shit," she muttered, throwing a blanket over Ike. She continued to sit next to him, still talking to him to keep him awake, but it was no use. He was passed out cold.

Kate continued. "We should just take him to the hospital. He may need his stomach pumped."

"Did he really drink that much?" Taylor asked, disgusted with his brother for putting his life in danger and partying so hard.

"Yeah, I saw him him doing shots of tequila earlier," she replied matter-of-factly.

Zac pulled away from Kate.

"Okay, who's gunna drive?" he slurred, swaying a bit.

"Obviously not you." Michelle said, getting up. She looked at Taylor, who she could tell was really scared by the look on his face. Michelle knew she had to take charge and deal with the situation as Isaac's life may depend on it.

"Tay, get Ike up. You and Zac can get him into the car. I'll go pull it up to the curb."

And with that, she was out the door, grabbing her keys on the way out from the side table.

"Where's Natalie?" Kate asked, looking around for her friend.

Zac shrugged. "I think I saw her in the kitchen earlier talking to Paul."

"Can you go get her?"

"Sure," Zac said, running back to find her. He returned not a minute later with Natalie in tow.

"What's wrong with Ike?" she asked, seeing him passed out on the couch.

"He's sick. We're taking him to the hospital." Taylor replied.

Taylor was scared for his brother, but didn't want to show it. He'd never seen his brother this drunk. Isaac was sprawled on the couch, half in and out of consciousness, so drunk Taylor could barely make out what he was saying. But he knew he couldn't freak out, they had to get Isaac to the hospital.

"Zac, come on." Taylor said, bending down and putting his arm under Isaac's right arm, motioning for Zac to do the same on the otherside. It took them two tries to get Isaac up. They struggled as they stumbled towards the door carrying Isaac, who was still completely passed out. Kate held the door open for them, following closely behind.

"We can't just leave all these people in our house," Taylor said, worried but not enough to feel comfortable leaving a bunch of their friends, some of which he didn't even know, partying in their house alone without supervision.

Kate nodded. "I agree. Do you want me to kick everyone out?"

Taylor nodded gratefully, stumbling on a rock in the sidewalk, almost causing them to all topple over. Zac grunted, clearly over-exerted by the effort of carrying his oldest brother.

Kate turned on her heel and marched back into the apartment and over to the stereo and switched it off. Natalie followed her, unsure how to be of help in this situation.

"HEY!" Kate yelled loudly, trying to get everyone's attention. "Everyone, get the hell out! Party's over!"

Everyone stopped talking and looked at her, confused.

"Party's over? What"? Some guy slurred, waving a beer in the air. "Chill girl, just have a beer."

Everyone started talking. One guy asked if there was any more beer. Another guy asked where Taylor was. Then they went back to what they were doing. Some guy reached over and turned the stereo back on.

Kate put her hands on her hips, gaze like steel, turned the stereo off again, and addressed the room once more, upset that she was not being taken seriously.

"GET OUT!" she yelled, "NOW! Or I am calling the POLICE!"

That did it. Since many of the people there were underage, the last thing they wanted was the cops showing up. She opened the door and watched as quite a few people slowly filed out, giving her dirty looks. But some people remained, and continued to party, ignoring her. She heard the horn honk outside.

Kate knew she had to leave. There wasn't enough time to kick everyone out. Zac needed her support.

She turned to Natalie.

"Nat, can you stay here and make sure things don't get too crazy?"

Natalie nodded, happy to help. "Of course."

Kate thanked Natalie and ran back outside and hopped into the car.

"Wait, where's Nat?" Taylor asked Kate.

"I left her to watch the apartment when we were gone. I couldn't get everyone to leave."

"Good idea," Taylor said. He noted that Kate was good in an emergency, and for that he was grateful.

The car sped away, headed towards the closest hospital.

Zac took his phone out and dialed Marit's number. In his drunk state, she was the first person he thought it call. He knew that even though Ike and her had broken up a while back, they remained close.

"Marit?" Zac asked when she picked up.

There was a pause. "Zac? Is that you?" Marit asked. She was surprised to hear from him. It had been a while.

"Yeah, it's me. Look, Ike is sick...he has alcohol, uh, poisoning. We're taking him to the hospital." he slurred.

Kate asked him who was on the line. He waved her away, covering his other ear with his hand so he could hear better. Michelle and Taylor were talking loudly in the front seat, and that mixed with the sounds of the car made it hard for him to hear Marit.

"What? Is he okay?" she asked, concerned.

"Are you in town? Can you meet us at the hospital? I think Ike would like to see you."

Zac knew that Marit and Marion had recently been in town promoting their second album which had been released in November of the previous year. Zac also knew that their hit single off the album, "Everything", Marion had written and had been inspired by his relationship with her. He didn't really want to see Marion, but knew this wasn't about him.

Kate continued to stare at him, curious who he was talking to.

Had he not been drunk, he may have not called Marit. But as the expression goes; it seemed like a good idea at the time.

After telling Marit where the hospital was, he hung up the phone and returned it to his pocket.

\--

Kate has been right, Isaac had alcohol poisoning, and his stomach needed to be pumped. After arriving at the hospital, he'd been immediately taken in. They'd all been asked to wait in the waiting room, and told by the doctor that he would let them know when the procedure was over.

It had been about an hour since they'd taken Isaac back. It was around 3 a.m. Everyone was worried and on edge.

"He'll be okay, right?" Zac asked, fiddling with his sweatshirt. Kate had her hand on his leg and squeezed it gently.

"He's going to be fine. We got him here in time. He'll be hungover as hell tomorrow, but he'll be fine. Trust me. I have been through this with a friend before."

Zac nodded, still worried, but calmed by Kate's words and her touch. No one knew he had called Marit on the car ride to the hospital. As he waited for her to arrive, he worried about what his brother's reactions would be. Now that he was sobering up, he was starting to realize maybe calling her had been a bad idea, but it was too late now to call her back and ask her not to come - he knew if he tried, she'd still come anyway.

Taylor sighed and looked at his watch, taking another sip of his coffee Michelle had gotten for him out of the vending machine. He grimaced at the bitter taste.

"This is the worst coffee I have ever had. For real." Taylor said, as he put it down.

"Agreed," Michelle said, setting hers down as well.

"Does anyone want anything from the cafeteria?" she asked, getting up.

Everyone shook their heads.

"I'll be right back," she said, getting up and walking away.

Zac looked at Taylor. "Tay, I shouldn't have let him drink that much. I should have been watching."

"Zac, it's not your fault. Ike just drank too much. All he has to blame is himself."

Zac nodded, not convinced.

There was silence as they waited for Michelle to return, no one knew what to say.

Suddenly, a voice was heard down the hall.

"Zac?"

Taylor's head shot up, immediately recognizing the voice.

"Is that...Marit?" he asked, surprised, looking at Zac.

Zac looked at the ground.

"I called her. In the car."

Both Kate and Taylor's faces registered surprise.

Marit came running up, winded.

"Is he okay?" she asked immediately, not bothering with pleasantries.

Taylor got up and hugged her. "Marit! Yeah, he's going to be fine. They are pumping his stomach."

Marit frowned. "Wow, that sucks."

"Yeah, he's really dumb," Taylor laughed and rolled his eyes, but Marit could tell he was really worried.

"It's good to see you, Tay." she said.

He nodded and flashed her a genuine smile. "Likewise. I just wish it were on better terms."

Marit then turned and walked over at Zac.

"Hey, Zac. Long time no see."

He got up and hugged her as well.

"Thanks for coming."

Kate didn't get up, so Marit waved at her and smiled a genuine smile.

"Hello again."

Kate smiled and waved back.

"Hey, Marit."

Marit sat down next to Kate and Zac on the couch.

"So, what happened? How'd he drink so much?" she asked.

"I don't know," Zac sighed. "We were having a party at the apartment and he was fine...and then all the sudden he was really drunk. I told Tay, and Michelle drove him here."

"Michelle?" Marit asked, not knowing who he was referring to.

"Taylor's girlfriend." he said, glancing at his brother, who was staring into space.

As if on cue, Michelle returned with a armful of snacks.

"I know we all said we weren't hungry, but who knows how long we'll be here so I bought one of everything," she said as she dumped them all on the side table next to the bench her and Tay were sitting on. Kate took a bag of chips, opened it and and nibbled on one. She offered Zac one, but he shook his head. She raised her eyebrow, surprised. It wasn't like Zac to turn down his favorite snack food. She shrugged and ate another chip.

"I'm Michelle," Michelle said, seeing Marit and extending her hand.

"Hey, Michelle! I'm Marit." she replied, smiling and shaking Michelle's hand.

Michelle knew who Marit was. Isaac had told her about how she and him had dated on tour and after, and how they had broken up because the long-distance relationship was too hard. Michelle also knew who Marit was through her band, M2M, who were pretty well known at the time. Michelle wondered why Marit was there, but figured it wasn't her place to ask.

"Nice to meet you! Here, have some snacks if you're interested," she said, motioning to the snacks she had brought as she sat back down next to Taylor.

"So Marit, what are you in town for?" Taylor asked.

"We're promoting the new album." she replied, grabbing a cheese stick.

Zac and Kate were whispering to each-other, oblivious to what the others were talking about.

"We're?" Taylor asked, but before the words were out of his mouth, he realized what she meant; Marion was with her.

"Is Marion is in town, too?" he asked hopefully.

Zac and Kate both looked up at hearing Marion's name mentioned. Marit unwrapped the cheese stick and took a bite.

"Yeah, she's back at the hotel. She...uh, wanted to come, but wasn't sure if she'd be welcome." she said, glancing at Zac and Kate. Zac, clearly uncomfortable at the mention of Marion, muttered something about needing some air and walked away. Kate followed him, whispering something in his ear, clearly distraught.

Taylor nodded, watching Zac and Kate walk away. The look on his face was unreadable.

"That's probably good. I'd love to see Marion, but the last thing we need is drama. We're here for Ike."

Marit nodded her head vigorously. "Totally agreed."

She paused then added. "But Marion would love to see you, Tay. I know she misses you. We're in town a few days. Maybe you two could get together?"

Taylor nodded. "I would love that. And she could meet Michelle." he smiled, glancing over at his girlfriend.

"Do you have her recent number?" Marit asked. "She changed it."

Taylor said he didn't, and Marit took his phone and entered Marion's new number into it for him.

Michelle listened to their conversation with interest. She also knew that Marion and Zac had a past, though she didn't know the specifics of how it had ended. Taylor had told her Zac dated her on the This Time Around tour, after Michelle had left it and M2M had replaced her as the opening act. Michelle hadn't asked why they had broken up, and Taylor hadn't told her. She was starting to suspect, though, the break-up hadn't been mutual, and perhaps Kate had something to do with it.

The more Michelle learned about Kate, the less she liked her, honestly.

\---

Monday

Isaac had been so embarrassed by what had happened the night before that he hadn't left his bedroom all day. Taylor had called Stirling and told him they couldn't record because Isaac was sick. Marit had stayed the night and had slept on the couch. Michelle had a meeting with her manager, and Zac, Natalie and Kate were off to the airport, so Taylor and Marit were left to do whatever they wanted. Taylor decided to go with Marit to their hotel to see Marion.

Two two arrived at the hotel around 1PM, and walked up to the room Marit and Marion were sharing. Taylor knocked. Marion opened the door, beaming. Marit had told her Taylor was coming over, and she was excited to see him. She hadn't seen him since the tour ended. The two had become close friends on tour, and she had missed him.

She flung the door open, smiling widely.

"TAYLOR!' she screeched, giving him a big hug. "It's so good to see you!"

Taylor hugged her back, smiling widely as well.

"Let me look at you," he said, letting go of her and taking a step back.

"You look great, Mar." he said honestly. She still wore her brown hair long, but now had bangs. She looked older, fit and happy.

"Thanks, Tay! You too! I love the haircut! Here, come in!" she said, stepping back and letting them in.

"And who is this?" she asked, referring to Michelle.

"Oh! This is my girlfriend, Michelle." Taylor said.

Michelle extended her hand, and the two women shook hands.

"Nice to meet you! I've heard good things about you," Michelle said.

"Nice to meet you too!" Marion said.

The four sat down on the couch in the room and chatted for a while. Marion brought them up to date on what was going on with M2M. She explained how her and Marit were in town self-promoting their latest album, The Big Room, because their label had not given it the promotion they thought it deserved. Taylor discussed the struggle him and his brothers were having with Island def Jam. After a while, the conversation turned to Zac.

"So, uh how is Zac these days?' Marion asked casually, getting up and grabbing some sodas from the mini fridge. She passed them around and sat back down.

"He's okay." Taylor said honestly, "Out of the three of us, he's the most frustrated with the label. I think he's making things harder than the they need to be, to be honest. He's just being a real asshole. You know how he can be."

Marion nodded, cracking open her soda and taking a big gulp.

"Don't I know it."

All four were silent for a bit, feelings the awkwardness of talking about Zac.

"Is he, uh, still with Kate?"

Taylor nodded.

"Yeah, he is."

Marion shook her head. "Big fucking surprise." she paused then continued. "Well, they deserve eachother." she said crisply, downing the rest of her soda and throwing it in the trash can like a basketball.

"Trust me, Mar, you can do better," was all Taylor could think of to say.

"Oh, I know." Marion smiled. "I don't want him back or anything. I was just curious. So how's Ike doing?" she asked, changing the subject.

"He's good," Michelle replied. "We got back around 6A.M. last night, and put him to bed. He was still sleeping when we left this afternoon."

"I'd love to see him." Marion said

"Why don't you come over?" Taylor said, then added, "Zac and Kate aren't home."

Marion thought about it for a second.

"Are you sure they won't come back?"

"I doubt it. Zac is driving her back to the airport, and you know how long that can take. I'll tell him to text me before he gets home, so we can leave if we know he's coming back."

"Okay," Marion said. "Let's do it."

\--

Kate, Natalie and Zac were sitting in traffic, bored. Zac was always surprised at how there seemed to always be bumper-to-bumper traffic in L.A. They were quiet. Last night's events had exhausted them, both physically and mentally. They had slept in, then immediately left for the airport. Kate's flight was at 3P.M. and Zac was worried he'd underestimated the traffic and they wouldn't make it in time.

There was something on Zac's mind, though, something he had been thinking about for some time and had been waiting for the right time to talk to Kate about it. He had planned to talk to her about it last night, but obviously that hadn't worked out. He figured this time was good as any. He glanced back and saw that Natalie had fallen asleep in the back seat.

Zac took his right hand off the stick shift and placed it on Kate's thigh.

"Babe?" he said, glancing over at her.

"Hmmm?" she replied absentmindedly, turning from looking out the window and looking at him.

"I want to talk about something with you."

"Sure. What is it?"

Zac paused before he continued. He was nervous. This was an important conversation and he wanted to make sure he approached it the right way.

"I want to talk about sex." he said, then instantly regretted how stupid it had sounded.

Kate laughed, amused.

"What?"

Zac took a deep breath. "I mean, I want to talk about sex, us having it...or not having it."

Kate raised her eyebrow.

"Do you want to have sex with me, Zachary?"

Zac blushed, worried it was a trick question. "Uh...No?"

Kate looked at him, obviously offended.

"No! I do. Yes, I do want to have sex with you, babe. Of course. What I mean is that, uh, I think we should...wait."

Kate studied Zac. That was the last thing she thought he'd say. They hadn't had sex yet, but they'd gotten close. He'd always been the one to stop, and Kate had started to wonder why he didn't seem to be in a hurry to have sex, like most of her friends were.

Zac waited for a response from her.

"Me too," she finally said. "I think we should wait, too. It will be more special then."

Zac breathed a sigh of relief.

"I love you," he said, looking at her so intensely and with such love it made her look away, embarrassed.

"I love you too, Zachary," she said, taking his hand and lifting it to her mouth to kiss his thumb.

He merged on to the freeway, letting go of her hand, and shifting into a higher gear as he sped up to catch up with traffic. He glanced down and saw a small lipstick mark on his hand and smiled.

\--

Marit, Taylor, Michelle and Marion arrived back at the apartment to find Isaac awake and lounging in the living room in his pajamas with the lights off, the TV on, and the volume turned down. He was surprised to see Marit, but greeted her warmly. He had seen her last night, but hadn't remembered because he had been so drunk.

Isaac and Marit had kept in touch since they had broken up last June. They texted and called each other often, but hadn't seen each other since the break up. Isaac definitely still had feelings for her. There were no hard feelings between them, though. Isaac had been devastated when Marit broke up with him, but had understood why. Sometimes when he felt lonely, he secretly wished she'd move to Los Angeles and they could get back together. He'd been involved with other girls since, mostly fans, but had not had a serious girlfriend since Marit.

Marit and Isaac sat down on the couch together, Michelle, Marion and Taylor made an excuse to go into the kitchen, assuming the two would want some alone time to catch up.

"We were really worried about you last night," Marit chided. "You gave us a good scare."

Isaac sighed. "I am so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

Marit smiled, feeling bad for Isaac. He was obviously really embarrassed.

"We're just glad you're okay," she said.

"How did you know what happened?" Isaac asked.

"Tay called me."

Something else was on Isaac's mind.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be in L.A.?" he asked, curious.

"I was going to when I knew how long I'd be here. I just got here yesterday."

Isaac nodded.

"I've missed you," he said. "I'm really glad you're here."

"Me, too." Marit said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

The two stared at each other, feeling the familiar spark between them.

"So, what brings you to L.A. - Isaac began to ask, clearing his throat, but he was interrupted by the front door opening.

Marit quickly took her hand out of Isaac's and looked up. Zac stood in the doorway. He closed the door behind him and took off his jacket, laying it down on the big arm chair.

"Hey guys. What's wrong?" he asked, seeing the look on Marit's face.

Right then, Marion and Taylor walked into the living room.

Her and Zac looked at each-other, shocked.

"I thought you said he wouldn't be here!" Marion said, looking at Taylor, clearly upset.

Taylor gulped and looked at Zac. Zac looked at Marion, then at Taylor, then back at Marit.

"Shit," Marit muttered, getting up and walking over to Marion.

"I am so sorry, Mar. I was told he wouldn't be here." Marit said, giving Taylor a dirty look, who just shrugged apologetically.

Zac, knowing he wasn't welcome, had no desire to stay and get into it with Marion. Through it had been over a year since they broke up, the wounds were still fresh for her. He suspected a conversation with her wouldn't end well.

There was a long moment of awkward silence as they all stared at him.

"Not an issue, I'll just leave," he said quickly, putting his jacket back on, and turning back around and heading towards the door.

"Wait." Marion said, surprising everyone. "I'd like to talk to Zac, actually."

Zac turned around, taking his hand off the door knob and raising his eyebrows.

"Can we?" Marion asked.

"Uh, sure." he said carefully putting his jacket back on the chair.

"Let's go outside," she said, passing him and opening the front door, motioning for him to follow her. Zac did so.

Marion closed the door. She sat down on a patio chair on the porch. Zac shoved his hands in his pockets, waiting for her to talk.

He studied her. She looked different than she had when he had dated her. Her hair was still long, but it had been lightened a bit, and was wavy now. And she had bangs. She was dressed in dark blue jeans and western-type leather shirt, with a brown jacket over it. He had to admit she looked good.

"So, how have you been?" she asked, looking up at him and meeting his gaze.

"Okay." he said tentatively, wondering where the conversation was going and what her agenda was.

Zac was on edge, but as he studied Marion he realized she wasn't angry. Maybe she wasn't going to rip him a new one, as he thought, maybe she did really just want to talk.

"I've always regretted how it went down with us," she began.

He raised his eyebrow, surprised.

She saw his expression and knew she had to clarify.

"I mean, Zac, that we didn't have any closure. Like, I just left and we never saw each other or spoke again. It was really hard for me. I guess what I want to say is that I'm not mad anymore. You hurt me a lot, but I get it."

She continued.

"I just wish you hadn't lied to me. I wish you had been honest with me about Kate."

Zac sighed, he knew she was right.

"I'm so sorry, Marion. I acted like such a dick. But I know you don't believe this now, but you meant a lot to me back then."

Marion smiled up at him and said sadly, "You meant a lot to me, too Zac. Still, to this day, you are the most beautiful boy I have ever seen."

Zac wasn't sure how to or if he should respond to that remark. He wanted to tell her that she too was one of the more beautiful girls he'd ever met - which was true, but wondered if that would be an appropriate thing to say.

She reached into her bag and took out a CD and handed it to him.

"Here. This is for you. A copy of our new album. Seems like you should get a copy as a lot of it is inspired by you." she winked.

Zac took the copy, and turned it over, looking at the back.

"Thanks, Marion. I'm sure it's really great."

He wasn't being sarcastic; he was actually excited to listen to it. Despite what Marion and him had been through, he had always liked M2M's music.

"You're welcome."


	12. "Colorblind"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taylor and Michelle spend a romantic evening together in Vermont.

  
I am colorblind  
Coffee black and egg white  
Pull me out from inside  
I am ready  
-

January 2002

Green Mountains, VT

After weeks of dealing with the stress from the trouble Island Def Jam was giving them and Isaac's trip to the emergency room, Taylor was just thrilled to have a weekend getaway alone with Michelle to de-stress. Their demanding work schedules made it hard for them to have any quality alone time together. Also, Taylor sharing an apartment with his brothers was no help either. Considering the fact that the one time he and Michelle were about to have sex, Zac had rudely interrupted them.

Taylor figured the only way he and Michelle could have a weekend to themselves was for them to get out L.A. and not tell anybody including Ike and Zac where he and Michelle were going. Taylor kept a secret well and had not told Michelle where they were going, despite her begging him to. They had taken a flight and then rented a car. They were on the road, and Michelle figured he had to eventually tell her.

"So where exactly are we going?" Michelle asked Taylor, who was driving, yet again.

"You'll see when we get there." Taylor answered back with a coy smile upon his face.

Michelle just rolled her eyes and groaned in displeasure, staring out the window at the snow-lined streets.

"Come on Tay, you've got to give me a hint at least." Michelle exclaimed, giving Taylor the 'pouting look'.

Taylor just slightly laughed at Michelle's persistence to get him to spoil the planned surprise he had for her.

"No way! You're just going have to be patient and wait and see."

"I've been patient ever since we left L.A. Come on, please tell me?"

"You know, you can beg all you want, but I'm not going to budge." Taylor said, his voice triumphant.

Michelle groaned again. She hated surprises.

Michelle glared at Taylor and crossed her arms over her chest, feigning anger. Taylor laughed. He thought she looked really cute when she was pissed.

"How much longer until we finally reach our destination?" she asked finally.

"No too long," he answered back, winking at her.

After driving a few more miles, Taylor turned and drove up a gravel road that lead to a remote cabin. Taylor put the car in park.

"We're here," he announced.

"Finally!" Michelle said as she got out the car and stretched out her body after the long journey they just had.

Taylor and Michelle walked to the trunk of the car and got their suitcases out. Taylor closed the trunk and locked the car. He and Michelle began to walk up the pathway to the cabin. Michelle looked around and was amazed at how rustic the outside of the cabin looked and was dying to see what it looked like inside. It felt to her like being in a different world, so far from the craziness of L.A. There was snow everywhere.

Taylor took out his keys and unlocked the front door to the cabin. He gestured for Michelle to go in first, which she did and he then followed in pursuit.

Michelle gasped in awe at the sight in front of her. The cabin was beautiful. The living room had a mountain-style open concept to it, and a stone fireplace surrounded the exterior of the wall.

Michelle dropped her bag and then walked around a bit to see the rest of the cabin. She loved the kitchen. The appliances were all modern and the countertops were all granite. The floor was ceramic and the sink was a farmhouse-style one, which Michelle thought was very cool.

Taylor watched Michelle with amazement. He saw how thrilled she looked.

Michelle turned her head to Taylor and smiled as she walked up to him. Taylor gave her a kiss on the lips and embraced her.

"So what you think of the cabin?"

"I absolutely love it!" Michelle replied excitedly. "It's perfect. How did you find it?" she asked.

"A friend of mine from Tulsa came up here once with his girlfriend and he suggested this place to me. It's remote and quiet which is exactly what we need...considering the fact we never get spend any quality time alone, just the two of us."

"I agree..." Michelle said to him.

She put her hands on both sides of his face and brought her forehead to his and they closed their eyes for a moment and basked in the sweetness of their intimacy.

After a few moments had passed, Taylor opened his eyes and looked at Michelle.

"What you say we go get settled in?" he said.

Michelle, with her forehead still locked with Taylor's, just whispered in return:

"Yeah, let's go see the bedroom...."

Taylor raised an eyebrow, intrigued and excited at what she was suggesting. The two grabbed their bags and Taylor held out one of his hands to Michelle, who took it. He lead them upstairs to the master bedroom.

On the wall up the stairs were framed pictures of the California desert. Michelle smiled as she glanced at them. They reminded her of home.

Taylor opened the door to the bedroom and turned on the light.

Michelle walked in, at first completely amazed by the sight in front of her.

The bedroom, like the rest of the cabin, was very rustic. The room was filled with natural light, and light brown washed-oak ceiling caps shown in the natural light. There was a stone fireplace near the windows. There was a king size bed in the center of the room. The bed's coverlet and pillowcases are Leontine Linens. There was a large square pillow on the settee. Above the ceiling where the bed was there was a beautiful chandelier. On the right side near the bed there was a nightstand where sat a beautiful craft table lamp. On the left side of the room near one of the windows there was a light brown victorian love seat that overlooked the view of the lake and mountains in the background. The bedroom was carpeted with a light tone of grey.

Michelle walked farther into the room and into the bathroom and turned on the light switch. She saw that the bathroom was just as beautiful as the bedroom. The bathroom had a four piece ensuite. The countertops were granite as well, and the floor was marble. There was also a huge luxury bathtub with jets.

After seeing the bathroom, Michelle turned to leave and walked right back into the bedroom to see Taylor sitting on the bed.

"So what you think of it overall?" Taylor asked her.

"I love it!" Michelle told him as she walked over and sat next to him. She grabbed one of his hands and intertwined it with hers.

They shared a sweet smile with one another. Taylor moved in a bit closer to Michelle to kiss her.

After sharing a very sweet and tender kiss the couple decided to call it a night.

"What do you say we unpack everything first thing tomorrow morning? I don't know about you, but I feel so drained after the long flight and drive we took today to get here. Plus, we're getting up early to ski before the slopes get packed with people." Taylor said.

"I agree, it's not really too dark yet, but I'm so tired too." Michelle agreed.

"Well, why don't you go change in the bathroom so you can have a little bit of privacy and I'll get changed in here?" Taylor suggested, getting up.

"Why? Are you afraid to see me naked or something?" Michelle asked, with a teasing tone in her voice.

This caught Taylor so off guard that it caused him to go red in the face, because he didn't know what to say. He sat back down on the bed. Of course he wanted to see her naked, but he was trying to be a gentleman.

"No, but....." He struggled to get the words out.

"I mean, you have already see me half-naked already, when we almost "did it" in your room just a few weeks ago...." Michelle said seductively.

She had a point.

Taylor was now feeling both flushed and uncomfortable, because he had a quick flashback to that day in his room where he saw Michelle's breasts for the first time and he remembered the feelings he felt in that moment.

"I remember that, yes."

Michelle was coming on to him, that was clear. Taylor decided to play with fire too while he said these next words to Michelle.

"If I recall correctly, you asked me if I had never seen boobs before, which I told you I had, but that none those women's breasts compared to yours. Yours are perfect." He whispered to her as he gently brushed one of her shoulders with his fingers.

It amazed Michelle how just a touch from him could give her butterflies. It was now Michelle who felt flushed and uncomfortable.

The young couple looked deeply into each other's eyes as the sexual tension continued to rise.

Finally, unable to take it any longer, Taylor leaned in and they shared a long and passionate kiss that left them both breathless as they tried to remain in control of their feelings. Suddenly, Taylor felt Michelle's hand on his thigh, her fingers softly stroking his manhood. He gasped, not expecting that.

"I think we should get ready for bed." Michelle suggested suddenly. She then quickly got up and walked over to her luggage and took her nightwear and toothbrush and toothpaste and went quickly into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Taylor was left speechless at what just happened. He walked over to his luggage and took out his pajamas which for him was a wife-beater shirt and boxers. He undressed and changed. He then went over to the bed and pulled the covers down, and putting the throw pillows on the ground beside the bed, got the bed ready for him and Michelle to sleep in. He couldn't stop thinking about what Michelle looked like naked, and the kiss they had just shared, but he wouldn't push it, as much as he wanted to continue. He didn't want to pressure Michelle. He'd let her take the lead if she wanted anything to happen, he decided.

"Taylor? Are you decent yet?" Michelle asked through the closed bathroom door

"Yeah!" He called back.

The bathroom door opened and Michelle walked out wearing a cute little black nightie which showed off her figure perfectly. Taylor stared at her for moment, enjoying the fact Michelle was wearing that little number to bed tonight.

"The bathroom is free if you want to use it." Michelle suggested.

Taylor stopped gawking at Michelle and cleared his throat.

"Thanks....." He said while making his way to his luggage again to take out his toothbrush and toothpaste. Taylor was frustrated, but still didn't want to pressure her to have sex, even if he was getting mixed signals from her.

As Taylor was brushing his teeth, Michelle got into bed, making herself comfortable as she waited for Taylor.

Taylor came out and got into bed beside Michelle.

As he was reaching for the light, to turn it off, Michelle grabbed one of his hands and Taylor turned to her. She looked worried.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Taylor asked her.

"Nothing, it's just that I wondering if you think I'm such a tease and all." Michelle said timidly.

"What? No!" Taylor exclaimed.

"Tay, I'm so sorry, I teased you the way I did. I basically started something, that I knew I wasn't going to end up doing....." Michelle said honestly.

Taylor was disappointed to hear she didn't want to have sex, but didn't show it. He moved in a little bit closer to Michelle and brought the hand that was interlaced with hers and he kissed her hand.

"Don't ever apologize for feeling what you're feeling." Taylor told Michelle sincerely. "I would never want you to do anything that you didn't want to do."

"Yeah, but I shouldn't tease like that....." she said quietly, pulling away. Taylor had a feeling another guy had told her that before.

"Michelle, look at me." Taylor said sternly. "You are not a tease."

Michelle looked into Taylor's eyes and saw the warm and unconditional love he had for her. This made her feel more guilty than happy, because she still couldn't bring herself to say those three words to him she knew that he so wanted to hear.

"Look, you know how I feel about you, but that doesn't mean you should feel you need to prove yourself to me by having sex. I want our first time to be special, I want you to feel comfortable and something tells me you not yet. So when you are, I'll be too."

Michelle was amazed by Taylor's mature words and she gave him a tender kiss.

"Something tells me that you won't have to wait too long." Michelle told Taylor while flashing him a genuine, sexy smile.

Taylor smiled back at her.

"Come on let's get some sleep, we got a busy day tomorrow."

Taylor reached over to switch off the bedside lamp. Michelle snuggled up to him. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

Soon the young couple had drifted off to sleep.

\---

Taylor and Michelle had risen early and spent most of their morning skiing. By the time it was the early afternoon, they had returned back to the cabin with their skiing equipment in tow. Taylor was putting it away in the shed.

"So what did you think of the slopes?" Taylor asked Michelle.

"They were okay. Skiing in general is fun, but it doesn't beat surfing, though."

"Surfing, huh? I forget that you're a "California girl" Taylor said, teasing.

"No, I'm not!" Michelle playfully responded back. "Not even close. Do you see a blond hair on my head?" she said, pointing to her naturally almost jet-black hair.

Taylor chuckled at this.

With Taylor's back turned, as he was putting away the last bit of their skiing equipment, Michelle got a sneaky idea. She quietly picked up a handful of snow and rolled into a ball, then threw it at Taylor's back.

Taylor felt the impact of snow hitting him hard in the back and he slightly stumbled. He turned his head towards Michelle's direction, surprised.

Michelle smirked at him, trying to look innocent and demure.

"That's what you get for calling me a "California girl!" she said to him with such playfulness in her voice.

Taylor picked up some snow, eyes narrowed. Michelle saw this and knew what he is planning to do.

"Game on," he said, forming the snow into a ball in his hands.

"No!" she playfully yelled out and began to run away from him.

"Oh, you better run!" Taylor said to her with coy smirk on his face.

Taylor began to run after Michelle with the snowball still in his hands. When he threw the snowball, he missed Michelle by an inch.

"You missed me!" Michelle yelled out in a sing-song voice, mocking him playfully.

Taylor began to run very quickly, and soon caught up to Michelle and knocked her to ground.

Michelle squealed in excitement.

Taylor got on top of Michelle and started to tickle her mercilessly.

Michelle's eyes widened.

"No!" she said, laughing. "Stop!" she begged, trying to squirm out of his grasp, but he held her down tight.

"Do you surrender?" Taylor asked her casually, still tickling her.

"Okay! Okay!" "I surrender!" Michelle answered back breathlessly.

Taylor stopped tickling her.

"I knew you would!" he said, while flashing a smile of triumph.

Michelle just rolled her eyes and playfully hit Taylor on the shoulder. Taylor got off Michelle and helped her up.

"No fair, you tickled me knowing it's one of my weaknesses." Michelle said while pouting at Taylor.

"Well, that's what you get for throwing snow at me....sucker-punch style," Taylor replied.

"Oh really?" Michelle asked.

"Mmmh..." Taylor said, putting his arm around her and leaning in to kiss her.

After sharing a sweet and tame kiss, Taylor noticed Michelle was shivering a bit.

"Are you cold?" Taylor asked her with concern while rubbing his hands down her arms in attempt to warm her up.

"Yeah, a little....." Michelle replied.

"Let's get you inside..." Taylor told her, his protective instinct kicking in, as he put Michelle in front of him and wrapped his arms around her in attempt to keep her warm, while they walked back to the cabin.

Once they reached the cabin Taylor took out his keys quickly and opened the door. Michelle and him walked into the cabin with his arms his wrapped around her body still.

They peeled off their winter gear and hung it up in the closet. They were now in their normal clothes.

Despite the fact their clothes are dry, Michelle still felt cold. Taylor saw this and wrapped a blanket over her shoulders and after telling Michelle to sit down, he made her some warm tea. As Michelle was drinking her tea, Taylor decided to start a fire to keep the cabin warm and cozy for Michelle.

Michelle watched Taylor set up the fire in the chimney. She was touched at how giving and caring Taylor was with her. She smiled to herself at this. She had never felt so loved by a guy before. She was falling hard for him.

After feeling satisfied that he'd built a good fire, Taylor turned to face her and saw the smile on her face.

"What?" he asked her.

"Nothing, I'm just so happy to be here with you." Michelle admitted.

Taylor smiled at her and went to sit next to her.

"Ditto."

He lied down on the couch and motioned for Michelle to follow suit. He then covered them with one of the blankets that was on the couch. Michelle snuggled up to him.

"Do you feel warm now?" Taylor asked her.

"Very warm," Michelle answered. She sighed happily as she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Taylor just held Michelle in his arms as he watched her sleep and gently stroked her hair.

After a while, Taylor quietly got up and gently picked Michelle up in his arms and carried her upstairs to the bedroom. He gently lied her on the bed.

He noticed she was still sleeping and he decided to let her sleep, for it worked perfectly for him considering he needed to start getting things ready for the special dinner he had planned for Michelle.

Taylor quietly left the room. On the way out, he took one more look at Michelle's sleeping form and closed the door very quietly behind him, and made his way downstairs.

\---

A few hours later Michelle woke up from her long nap and noticed she was laying in the bed in the upstairs bedroom opposed to the couch in living room where she remembered falling asleep in Taylor's arms. She also noticed Taylor wasn't laying down beside her. She got out of the bed and walked out of the bedroom to look for him.

"Taylor?" Michelle called as she walked down the stairs into the living room, where she got no answer.

She walked into the kitchen.

"Taylor?" Michelle called out again.

Michelle then gasped at the sight in front of her. She saw there was a candle lit dinner set and Taylor had put the first touches to the food. He smiled when he saw her.

"Hey, you! You're awake finally!"

"Hey! What's all this?" Michelle asked.

"This, my love, is our dinner. I wanted to make you dinner and just have a quiet and romantic evening together, since we don't really get them too often with our schedules and all." Taylor explained.

"You're so sweet!" she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Michelle noticed that Taylor had changed, he was now wearing a black dress shirt with black dress pants and shoes. She smelled cologne on him, too. She was impressed that he had dressed up for their dinner.

Michelle quickly realized that she is not equally properly dressed, so she decided to go take a shower and get dressed in a more semi-formal way.

"Hey Tay, I'm just going to go take a quick shower and get changed, okay?"

"Okay, well hurry back down soon, because dinner's almost ready." Taylor said.

"Don't worry, I'll be back down very soon." Michelle said, while racing upstairs.

Thankfully, Michelle had thought to pack a fancy dress, in case she would need it. Michelle grabbed a towel from the closet and made her way to the bathroom, stripped out of her clothes quickly, turned the water on and got into the shower. While in the shower she thought about Taylor; how great he looked, how sweet and caring and sensitive he was. She thought he was perfect. She felt so lucky to have him. She got out the shower ten minutes later and wrapped a towel around her body. She began to blow dry her hair and then curled it a bit. She then styled it half way up with a bobby pin holding the bun together. She then went to her luggage and grabbed a matching black lacy bra and panties and the black cocktail dress she'd brought. After she was done getting ready, she took a quick look at herself in the mirror and smiled. She was happy with the attire she had picked out.

Before walking out the room, on second thought, Michelle decided to go take something else out her luggage. She took out the black velvet box that contained the ruby bracelet Taylor had given her for Christmas. Michelle put it on her left wrist.

Michelle then made her way downstairs and back into the kitchen where she saw Taylor is setting their plates down.

"Hey, perfect timing! Wow, you look so beautiful."

"Thank you, you look so dapper yourself too." Michelle says as she smiled at him.

Taylor noticed Michelle was wearing the ruby bracelet he got her for Christmas. He smiled at the sight.

Taylor leaned in and gave Michelle a quick kiss on the lips.

"I hope you're hungry, because dinner is ready. But before we eat, I want to do something first. Can I take a picture of you? I want to remember this forever."

Michelle was touched, and agreed. Taylor took his camera that had been sitting on the counter and snapped a picture of her.

"Thanks." he said, putting the camera in his pocket.

Taylor, being the gentleman he was, pulled out the chair for Michelle.

"Thank you," she said, sitting down. Taylor slightly pulled Michelle's chair in and then he went to sit down in his own chair across from her.

"I hope you love what I cooked for us tonight."

"I'm sure I will, since it smells so great," Michelle told Taylor while flashing him a smile.

About half hour later Taylor and Michelle had finished up their dinner.

"That baked mozza rigatoni was so good!" Michelle said, pushing her plate away. "I'm stuffed."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it. I hope you made some room for dessert, because I made some too."

"Dessert? You really went all the way out for tonight, didn't you?" Michelle said.

"Mmm, you know it! Why don't you go into the living room and make yourself more comfortable, while I get the dessert out the fridge?" Taylor suggested.

"Okay." Michelle responded back.

Michelle got up from the table and went into the living room, where she seated herself on the couch near the fireplace as she waited for Taylor to join her with their dessert.

Taylor grabbed the plates off the table and put them into the sink, rinsing them with a bit soap and water so they didn't stick. He'd wash them tomorrow.

He then took the two small bowls out the fridge. He quickly got two spoons out the drawer and made his way into the living room.

Michelle turned her head to his direction as she hears footsteps and sees Taylor walk into the living room flashing her a smile. He is carrying the two small bowls and spoons and places on the coffee table that's in front of Michelle.

"Dessert is here." he says, sitting down next to her.

Michelle looked to see what Taylor had made for them.

"Creme Brulee! My favorite dessert!" Michelle says with such joy in her voice, recognizing the dessert.

"Well, I remember you telling me that when you went on tour in Europe, you played a gig in Paris and after the show you went to a small cafe where you ordered this, and you were left so satisfied, because it was one of the most delicious desserts you had ever tasted." Taylor said matter-of-factly.

Michelle looked at him in amazement. She couldn't believe he remembered that.

Taylor noticed Michelle was staring at him.

"What?" Taylor asked her.

"Nothing, I just can't believe you remember that."

"Of course I remember. I remember everything you've ever told me." Taylor told Michelle softly.

Touched by this, Michelle leaned in and gave Taylor a sweet and soft kiss on the lips.

"You are perfect and beautiful." she said simply, looking into his eyes. "I am one lucky girl."

"No way, I'm the lucky one," Taylor said.

The two just smiled at each other, completely in love with one another, not caring if they sounded cheesy.

"We better start eating our dessert before it goes bad." Taylor suggested.

He hands Michelle her bowl and the spoon.

"Thank you."

Michelle and Taylor quietly sat eating their dessert while enjoying each other's company. The young couple playfully fed small spoonful of their dessert to one another, giggling. Eventually they finish eating their desserts and place their empty bowls and spoons back on the coffee table.

"That creme brulee was so delicious, Tay," Michelle sighed happily.

"Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Taylor pulled Michelle closer to him as she snuggled against him. Taylor placed a soft kiss on top of Michelle's head as he gently stroked her hair.

"This night has been perfect so far, thank you for making it so special." Michelle told Taylor with adoration in her eyes.

"You're welcome." Taylor said to her, flashing her a winning smile. He leaned in to kiss her.

Taylor found the more he got to know Michelle, the more he loved her. He couldn't keep his hands off her. Their chemistry was electric. He'd never felt this way about a girl the way he felt about Michelle. He knew she was the one. She was everything he wanted in a girlfriend: beautiful, talented, smart. She understood him, being a musician herself. He just hoped she was falling for him as fast as he was falling for her.

The kiss started off very slowly and softly, but it quickly turned passionate and frenzied as the sexual tension that had always existed between them rose again.

Before things get too hot and heavy though, Michelle pulled away, looking a bit scared. Taylor noticed the look on Michelle's face and felt horrible for coming on too strong.

"I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to push you into something that you're not ready for yet." Taylor said.

"No, don't apologize Tay, you have nothing to feel sorry for."

"Michelle, - " Taylor said, but before he could continue, Michelle cut him off.

"I need to tell you something, before I lose my nerve to."

"Okay, what is it?" Taylor asked, concerned. For a moment he was scared she was going to break up with him.

"I keep thinking about the moment you told me you loved me and how I couldn't say back to you. I feel so bad."

"Michelle...." Taylor said once again trying intervene in whatever she was about to say, but Michelle cut him off again.

"No, please let me finish okay?" Michelle pleaded.

"Okay." Taylor whispered to her, still scared at what she may say.

"There was a reason for that. Before I met you there was this guy, Jimmy Reynolds, a guy who I liked so much. I thought he liked me too, since he asked me to be his girlfriend."

Taylor listened intently as she continued.

"We went out for about a year and I was really happy with him, until one night after a date he took me on a drive to the desert. We started making out in backseat as we had before, but then he got a little too forceful with me, trying to take my pants off."

Taylor was now completely interested in hearing the rest of Michelle's story.

"I told him to stop because I wasn't ready to have sex and he wouldn't take "no" for answer. He grabbed a hold of my shirt and ripped it open and then he pinned me down. He started to kiss me all over. I kicked and screamed, begging him to stop, but he wouldn't..." Michelle said angrily. Taylor saw tears start to form in her eyes at the memory of that night.

Based on what he is hearing, Taylor now was getting a clear understanding of why Michelle was so hesitant to become intimate with him.

"Did he rape you?" Taylor asked Michelle, his voice filled with anguish as he wiped away a tear that fell on one of her cheekbones.

Michelle looked at Taylor dead straight in the eyes.

"No, thankfully, I managed to kick him in his jewels and I got out the car and ran to the nearest gas station and asked to use the phone to call a friend of mine to come and pick me up."

"When I got home that night, I got into the shower. I needed to get his scent off me, because I felt it was still lingering. After that, I got ready for bed and I cried myself to sleep, because I felt so used by him." Michelle said.

"What happened after that?" Taylor asked, with both curiosity and concern.

"I went to school the next day pretending like everything was okay, until I saw him in the hallway, talking with his friends. I went over with the intention to break up with him, but as I got closer to them, I overheard one of his friends asking if he "got lucky" finally with me last night. Jimmy's exact words were this: "No. The ugly bitch turned me down." Then his friend told him "to pay up", since he lost the bet they made."

Taylor frowned, disgusted at the whole situation and that someone would treat Michelle like that.

"It was then I realized that the only reason Jimmy ever went out with me in the first place was because I was a bet to him. He bet this friend he could bed "the lone tomboyish musician girl." she hesitated before adding. "I thought I loved him."

Taylor moved in closer to Michelle and took her face in his hands as he gently wiped away her tears. It broke his heart to know she had went through this kind of heartbreak and betrayal.

"Oh, Michelle, I'm so sorry." Taylor told her as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "That Jimmy guy is such an asshole."

"Don't be, it's not your fault." Michelle said.

"How old were you?" Taylor asked her.

"15. I wrote a song about it, actually."

"Wow." Taylor said, shocked.

"The reason why I'm telling you this is because you need to know the reason, why I am on guard all the time."

She continued, taking a deep, shaky breath.

"After everything happened with Jimmy, I isolated myself from the rest of the world, because I didn't want to get hurt again. So I hid through my music in order to mask the pain that I felt during that time. For the longest time, I felt empty and I didn't let anybody get too close to me. He might as well have raped me. It felt the same."

She then smiled at Taylor, with love in her eyes. She was no longer crying.

"It wasn't until I met you that I felt alive again. You made me laugh and smile again and you awakened something in me that was so new and powerful. I mean, I have dated guys after Jimmy, but nothing serious. I promised myself my music would be my real love. That I'd focus on that. But then came you. No other guy not even Jimmy has ever made me feel the feelings, I feel when I'm with you."

"And what feelings are that?" Taylor asked, hopeful.

"Love." Michelle said simply.

"I thought, that I knew what love was about before I met you. I thought I loved Jimmy, but it turns out that was just a bad ill-fated crush. But with you? It's the real thing. From the moment, I first laid eyes on you, I feel such a connection to you, that I couldn't stop myself from getting close to you in order to just spend time with you. From moment you first kissed me, I knew deep down you were the one for me and you always will be."

Michelle stared deeply into Taylor's eyes and caresses his face as she says these next words to him.

"I know people will say we're too young, but I don't care. I love you" she whispered to him, her voice filled with so much passion and emotion.

Taylor was shocked to hear this.

"Did you just say what I think you just said?" Taylor asked still not believing if he heard Michelle right.

"I did." she said while smiling at him. "I love you, Jordan Taylor Hanson, and I always will. So there it is." Michelle said.

Taylor exhaled, taking it all in.

"There it is." Taylor echoed, happy she shared his feelings.

He kissed Michelle on the lips again so softly.

"I love you too." Taylor told Michelle.

The young couple leaned towards one another and shared a very passionate kiss. Taylor had his hands on Michelle's face as he continued to kiss her. Eventually the kiss came to halt and the two young lovers were left breathless. Michelle gasped heavily as she tried to catch her breath. Taylor gently stroked her face, twirling a strand of her hair in his hands. The young couple stared deeply into each other's eyes, both knowing what the other was thinking of.

Taylor grabbed a hold of Michelle's hands and lead her upstairs to the bedroom.

Taylor began to kiss Michelle as he backed her up towards the door of the bedroom. He opened the door to the bedroom while still kissing her. They kissed some more as they walked into the bedroom.

Michelle slowly pulled away.

"You okay?" Taylor asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure you want to do this? Because if you're not ready, we can wait." Taylor told her with such understanding and care in his voice.

Michelle touched Taylor's face and gently stroked it.

"No, I want to do this. There's no other person, I'd rather be with then with you."

Michelle grabbed a hold of Taylor's hands and kissed them lightly.

"You nervous?" he asked her.

Michelle looked into Taylor's eyes and knew she was making the right decision.

"No."

She put one of Taylor's hands on her chest.

"Do you feel that?" She asked. "My heart is beating so fast. I'm not nervous. I'm excited."

Taylor felt it. He released her hand and slid his hand up her neck and pulled her close to him.

"Make love to me, Taylor." Michelle whispered into his neck.

Taylor would happily oblige.

He put his hands on her hips and carefully slid them, under her dress, resting them on her warm back. He loved touching her, and she loved his touch. Michelle closed her eyes and despite her uncertainty of not knowing what to do, since she is new at this, she welcomed the tingling feeling that had arose within her, and was traveling through her body, warming her neck, breasts and between her legs. Any fears she had before had faded away and she knew in her heart it felt right to be here with Taylor. The way he touched her and looked at her, Michelle knew he would make her feel both loved and safe.

Taylor slowly lifted his arms to remove Michelle's dress in one swift movement, and then placed his hands on her ass and pulled her close against him as he kissed her so softly on the lips. Michelle responded back and kissed him back. She gasped as she felt his hips, and the hardness, right against her own.

Taylor had his hands running up Michelle's back as he kept kissing her. Eventually Michelle pulled away. She began to unbutton Taylor's shirt as she looked him in the eyes. Eventually she managed to get the shirt off and dropped it to the floor.

She ran her fingers over Taylor's chest, exploring his tight muscles and smooth skin. Feeling daring, Michelle kissed Taylor's chest, then his neck, shivering as she felt his hands moving towards her shoulders where the straps of her bra were.

Michelle took out the bobby pin that was in her hair, and let her hair fall. It came cascading down her shoulders, falling into beautiful slightly curly waves.

"Can you take the lead, Tay? I don't really know what I am doing." Michelle admitted.

Taylor smiled at her.

"Your hair is so beautiful," he said, gathering it in his hands and arranging it over her shoulder. He kissed Michelle again and gently led her to the bed. He lied her gently down on the bed and climbed on top of her. He kissed her neck and nibbled on her earlobe as his hands traveled up and down her body exploring and feeling every inch and curve through her thin bra and panties.

After a bit of this, Taylor got off the bed for a moment to take Michelle's shoes off and then took his shoes and socks off, too. He then walked up to the foot of the bed. Michelle, sensing he wanted her to take off his pants, crawled to the foot of the bed and sat back on her heels. Feeling more confident, she grabbed a hold of Taylor's belt and pulled him closer to her. Michelle unbuckled his belt and undid the button of his pants and then slowly slid the zipper down. She could feel and see his erection through the thin fabric of his boxers. She ran her fingers across his waist, as she skimmed her nail softly against his navel before tugging on the waist of his boxers, pulling them down. She gulped, staring at his manhood, because she had no idea what to do beyond this point. She then looked up at Taylor for guidance. They locked eyes.

Taylor was now completely naked.

Taylor gently pushed Michelle down on her back on the bed and crawled on top of her again, then he began to kiss her from the waist up to her breasts and then eventually to her neck before then kissing her on the mouth again.

They were now face to face. He slightly pulled Michelle up a bit and moved his hands behind her back as he unfastened her bra, pulling it down, and tossing it to the side as it freed her breasts. He gasped in awe as he stared at them. They looked as good as he remembered. Taylor kissed her breasts tenderly, one at a time, and Michelle leaned her head back, and arched her back, feeling Taylor's heated breath and the moisture from his mouth wherever it touched her. They continued to kiss each other fervently as they explored each other's bodies.

Michelle felt Taylor tug at the waistband of her panties and she lifted her hips up a bit so Taylor could slip them off. He took a moment to take in the sight of her completely naked now.

Taylor ran his tongue between her breasts, down her belly and past her navel and up again. He felt her hands on his back as Michelle pulled him closer to her as she kissed his shoulders and neck.

Michelle then felt his hand between her legs. He gently fingered her, using his thumb to caress her clit, and she gasped at how good it felt. He did this for a while until she was panting with anticipation.

With his other hand, he kissed her fingertips one at time while his eyes were locked with hers, enjoying seeing her turned on.

After a while, he got up and walked over to the nightstand. Michelle looked at him, curious.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Taylor looked sheepish as he took out a box of condoms.

"I wanted to be prepared. In case you wanted to."

Michelle nodded. She was impressed he'd been thinking about safe sex.

"Just relax now okay?" Taylor told her. He got back on the bed and slipped the condom on. Michelle watched, interested.

Taylor then got on top of her and asked again if she was ready. She nodded. He kissed her softly as he began to make love to her.

"You okay?" he asked as he was fully inside her.

She nodded. "Don't stop."

Their bodies moved as one, each of them fully aware of the other's needs, each trying to please the other. Taylor kissed Michelle almost continually as they made love. He loved being so close to her.

After a while, they were both breathing hard, knowing that all the sexual tension they had was about to be released. Michelle felt her body tingle as she never had before.

"Oh my god..." she muttered. "Don't stop please."

Taylor began to thrust more deeply into her.

Suddenly, Michelle cried out loud and dug her nails hard into Taylor's back. Taylor felt her muscles clench around him.

Taylor saw the look on Michelle's face that showed both pleasure and pain.

"Are you okay?" He whispers to her, wanting to make sure she wasn't uncomfortable.

Michelle opened her eyes and looked directly into Taylor's and she shook her head "yes" in response to his question.

"I am...super." She said, a bit dazed, still unsure of what had just happened.

She buried her head in his neck, and lifted her legs and wrapped them around his body and just let herself get lost as she felt him deep inside of her. She felt his strength and gentleness. She felt his muscle and his soul. She moved rhythmically against him, allowing him to take her whatever he wanted, to the place she was meant to be at. It just felt right, like their bodies were made for each other.

With every breath, Michelle felt all the fears she had beforehand vanish away in that moment.

After a while, Taylor too reached his climax and collapsed beside her, spent.

They were exhausted, both mentally and physically, as they both tried to catch their breaths.

Taylor reached for the blanket that was at the foot of the bed and used it to cover his and Michelle's bodies. He then wrapped his arms around Michelle, pulling her closer to him as she snuggled next to him. They were both sweaty, but they didn't care. They just wanted to be close to one another.

His hands gently traced her skin, as she watched him, admiring how his blonde hair fell over his face, his beautiful blue eyes.

"You're such a heartthrob." She said, smiling, pushing his hair out of his eyes and running her thumb over the soft skin on his cheek.

He smiled back. "I'm your heartthrob."

"I love you Taylor, so much." Michelle told him with such vulnerability in both her eyes and voice.

Taylor caressed Michelle's face and kissed her.

"I love you too, Michelle...more than anything."

The young couple lay there together for most of the night, making love again and again, while holding each other tightly afterwards. Eventually Michelle fell asleep in Taylor's arms, feeling happier than she ever had. Taylor watched her as she slept and saw the dreamy look on her face. 

"I'll love you until end of time, Michelle." Taylor whispered to Michelle's sleeping form as he gently brushed hair from her face and kissed her forehead softly before falling asleep as well.


	13. "After Hours"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys continue to attempt to get the record finished. Taylor meets a new friend. Michelle goes to visit her mother. The guys decide to go a different direction with the record.

  
-  
Tried to follow you out  
But I did not know where you'd be leading on  
And you might think people don't live through being dead wrong  
-  


February 2002, Los Angeles

On Tuesday Taylor had called Jeff Fenster and asked for a meeting between him, his brothers and their manager. Taylor knew Jeff had told them to work with a new producer, but Taylor wasn't about to give up that easy; he knew they had some songs Jeff hadn't heard. Taylor hoped Jeff would like one of those songs and agree to re-start recording. They had another surprise for Jeff, too; their manager had drafted a budget for finishing the record which they hoped Jeff would accept. The guys were more than ready to finish the record. Jeff had not responded to their request for a meeting.

Michelle had a few days off, so she decided to fly to Arizona to spend the rest of the week with her family.

The week dragged on for the guys. Still reeling from being told that the recording of their album had been suspended, possibly indefinitely, they struggled through the week, not sure what was next. Isaac, still embarrassed after what had happened, mostly kept to himself. Taylor and Zac kept busy with what they had always done; they continued to work on music. Without a studio to use, they converted Zac's room into a mini studio, and the rest of the week was spent perfecting the material they had worked on with their producer that they planned to show to Jeff.

On Thursday, though, Zac wasn't feeling well, and decided to call it a night early. Taylor, bored, decided to do a bit of exploring. Despite living in L.A. for a couple months by then, being so busy, he hadn't really explored his neighborhood much.

After walking around for awhile, he found himself outside a bar called the Hotel Cafe. He knew about the venue, that they did under-age shows. It was obvious a band was setting up for a show, there were a few guys coming in and out, unloading gear out of a van. Taylor didn't recognize the band, but that meant nothing, he figured. Taylor was always interested in hearing new music. He flicked his cigarette under his boot, and kicked it to the curb before walking inside.

A guy greeted him at the door and told him there was a cover for the band.

Taylor dug his wallet out of his pocket and handed over some cash.

"The band any good?" he asked.

The guy handed him his change.

"They're alright. Too poppy for my taste."

Taylor nodded, and thanked the guy. He strolled up to the bar, hoping he wouldn't get carded. He successfully ordered a gin and tonic. Happy with his purchase, he sat down on a barstool, content to drink alone and people watch.

Soon the band took the stage to do a soundcheck.

By the time the first band had started to play, Taylor was three drinks in and feeling tipsy. The bar had filled up, and there were many people there his age. He was about to get up and stand near the stage when a guy stepped up to the bar next to him. He recognized him as the lead singer in the band that had been doing soundcheck earlier.

"Hey," he said, glancing over at Taylor.

The guy was tall, and had dark hair, cut into a shaggy cut. He was dressed hip but casually, in jeans, t-shirt, and Chuck Taylors. Taylor guessed he was around his age, maybe a bit older.

"Hey," Taylor responded.

The guy ordered a drink.

"Is that seat taken?" he asked, referring to the barstool next to Taylor.

"It's all yours."

The guy sat down beside Taylor and took his jacket off, hanging it on the hook under the bar. Taylor noticed he was wearing a Counting Crows t-shirt, which was one of Taylor's favorite bands.

"I love the Counting Crows. They're so good," Taylor said, glancing over at the guy.

The guy looked over at him and smiled. "I know, right?"

"I'm so stoked for their new album. It comes out in June. I'm hoping to see them when they come on tour." Taylor said eagerly, sipping his drink. He was happy to have someone to talk to who shared a love of the band.

The guy smiled, swiveled in his stool, and put his hand out.

"Alex."

"Taylor."

"I know who you are." Alex said, smiling.

Despite the fact he'd been famous for some time, it still felt weird to Taylor when complete strangers recognized him.

"What are you drinking?" Alex asked, motioning to Taylor's drink.

Taylor held his drink up, waving it around, as if if Alex could tell what type of drink it was by the color. "Gin and tonic."

"Me too," Alex smiled. He could tell Taylor was drunk, and for some reason, he found it charming. "A classic, it never fails me."

"So, what's your band called?" Taylor asked, putting his drink back down on the bar, spilling it a bit. He unsuccessfully tried to wipe it up with a napkin, then gave up.

"Phantom Planet."

Taylor nodded. He'd never heard of them before. "Cool name."

"We're kind of garage rock, I guess."

A guy walked up, and him and Alex shared a fist pump.

"Jason, this is Taylor, from Hanson, ya know? Taylor, this is Jason, our drummer."

"Nice to meet you, man! You planning to watch us play later?" Jason asked, looking at Taylor expectantly.

"Absolutely." Taylor said.

"Excellent." Alex said. "Can I get you another drink?"

Taylor nodded, against his best judgement.

\--

Alex and Taylor hit it off immediately, and Taylor found he loved Alex's band. After the show, Alex said he had to run because he had to be up early in the morning, but had asked Taylor if he wanted to go to a party with him the next evening. Taylor had agreed.

Friday passed uneventfully for Taylor. Michelle was still out of town, and Zac was still sick. Taylor didn't really have any friends in L.A. so he just hung around the apartment. Alex had asked him to meet him at 8 p.m. and had given Taylor the address to where the party was.

Taylor was sitting on the couch, idly strumming on his guitar, when his phone rang. He put down his guitar and glanced at it. It was his dad, Walker.

Taylor sighed. He knew he should answer. They hadn't yet told their father about the album recording being suspended. It wasn't that he was putting off telling their father, he just wasn't in a hurry to.

Taylor answered the phone.

"Hey Dad."

"Hey, son, how are you?"

"I'm okay." Taylor said honestly.

"So, I'm going to get to the point here, son. Stirling called me. When were you going to tell me about the recording of the album being suspended?"

Taylor cringed. So Stirling had already told him.

"We were going to. We've been busy, dad."

"He said Jeff is no longer paying for any studio time until you give them more material? Is this true?"

"Yeah. It's just the same shit over and over, dad. He never likes anything we give him. All he says is he needs a "hit." He wants us to meet with yet another producer."

Walker heard the stress and frustration in his son's voice, and felt bad. He knew how hard his sons were struggling to get their album done, when it seemed like their label was fighting them every step of the way.

"Just keep doing what you're doing, son. Something has to give. Remember what he said, you have to be open to collaboration."

Taylor sighed. "We are, Dad."

Walker sensed Taylor didn't want to talk about the music anymore, so he switched topics.

"How is, uh, Michelle?" he asked.

"She's good. She's visiting her parents in Arizona. Thanks for asking, dad."

Walker could hear Taylor's voice brighten at the mention of his girlfriend, but Walker still had reservations about Michelle. He wasn't convinced she was a good fit for his son. It concerned him that she was a musician. He worried that her work schedule would interfere with her relationship with Taylor, and he'd end up heartbroken. But something else concerned him more about Michelle, that she wasn't a Christian. Walker was a religious man, and wanted his sons to end up with a Christian woman.

"You two are getting serious?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, Dad. We are. I really love her," Taylor responded.

Walker was quiet for a moment.

"Have you talked to Natalie lately? How has she been?"

Taylor sighed, the last thing he wanted to do was talk about Natalie.

"I don't know, Dad. We don't really talk. I saw her last month. Her and Kate came to visit."

"Did she now?" Walker asked with interest. "I always really liked her. Nice girl."

"Yeah, she is, but we're just friends, Dad. Okay?"

"Sure, son. I get it. Is Ike around?"

"No, he's out," Taylor responded.

"Okay. Well, tell him I called. I'll talk to you later, son. Have a good day."

"'Bye, Dad."

Taylor hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. He started playing his guitar again, strumming a few chords from a song him and Zac were working on.

The front door opened and Isaac walked in. He was wearing the same clothes from yesterday. It was obvious he'd spent the night elsewhere.

"Where have you been?" Taylor asked, putting his guitar down.

"A friend's." Isaac answered, taking off his coat and hanging it up.

He sat down on the couch next to Taylor.

"Where's Michelle?" he asked.

"Visiting her family."

Isaac nodded, picking up Taylor's guitar.

"What are you up to tonight? There's a party I was invited too. Wanna come too?" Taylor asked.

"Nah." Isaac said. "I think I'll stay in tonight."

Taylor studied his brother. It wasn't like him to want to stay in on a Friday night. He's noticed since his stint in the emergency room last week, his brother had been withdrawn.

"You okay, man?" Taylor asked. "Zac and I have been concerned about you lately. You seem depressed."

He responded, not looking up from the guitar.

"I'm fine, Tay."

\--

Sedona, Arizona

Michelle and her mother sat across from each other at the kitchen table.

"It's so nice to have you back," her mother said. "I didn't realize it had been so long since you'd been back home."

Michelle sipped her tea. "I know. It's been forever. I've been so busy with work. It's so good to be home though."

Her mom smiled, reaching across the table and taking Michelle's hand in hers. "I'm so proud of you, honey. You've worked so hard, and you deserve all the success you have received. Enjoy it, honey. You earned it."

"Thanks, Mom."

Michelle's mother got up and went over to the sink.

"You want a snack?" she asked, opening the fridge and peering in. "I could heat you up a few tamales."

"I'd love that." Michelle said.

"So, tell me about this boy you're dating, Taylor is it? How did you meet him again?"

Michelle smiled, thinking about Taylor. "I met him on tour, Mom. Remember when I opened for Hanson a couple years ago? Hanson is his band."

Her mother nodded, taking the tamales out and placing a few on a platter. "Oh, right. I remember now."

"So, we met on tour, and hit it off, but they were still touring, then I went on my own tour, and I didn't see him for a year. Then he invited me to a BBQ at his place while I was in Tulsa. He lives there. Then we decided to start dating. Then, soon after I did, he moved to L.A. with his brothers. That was in November. And we have been together ever since."

"You really like him, don't you?" her mother asked, seeing the dreamy look on Michelle's face when she talked about Taylor.

"I do, Mom. I really do. He is so great. He's smart and intelligent and fun and he really gets me, you know?"

Her mother put a steaming plate of tamales in front of Michelle. "I'm so happy for you, honey. He sounds great. I'd love to meet him sometime."

Michelle nodded. "Yeah, for sure," digging into her tamales.  
"These are really good, Mom."

\--

Los Angeles

Taylor stared up at the huge white house in the Hollywood hills. He looked down and double-checked the address. It was correct. There were several cars in the driveway and Taylor could hear music coming from the house. He walked up the driveway and up the stairs to the front door.

A beautiful woman who looked like a model opened the door. Smiling, she held it open. Taylor stepped in, thanking her. He watched her walk away.

Taylor was left alone standing inside the front door, unsure what to do. He looked around. The house was decorated very nicely, with hardwood floors, white leather couches and neon art lining walls. It was very L.A.

There were people milling about, standing in small groups, chatting. Everyone had a drink in their hand and were dressed very fashionably. Taylor was grateful he'd decided to dress up a bit that evening; he was wearing a purple turtleneck, designer jeans, and a brown leather jacket. There was a small photo booth set up in the corner.

Spotting a bar, Taylor walked over and ordered a drink. He was fishing money out of his pocket to pay for his drink when a girl next to him put her hand on his. He looked up, startled.

"It's an open bar," she said, smiling.

Taylor looked at the bartender, who nodded.

"Oh, awesome," he said, shoving his money back in his pocket.

The girl stepped aside and motioned for him to follow her.

"I'm Molly," the girl said, extending her hand. Taylor shook it.

"Taylor."

"Are you here with anyone?" she asked, casually, sipping her martini.

"Actually, I'm looking for my friend Alex. We met last night at his show. He invited me to this."

"Alex Greenwald?" she asked.

"Yeah, do you know him?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I know where he is. Come with me."

Taylor followed Molly to another room, where a group of people were sitting around a table, chatting. Taylor spotted Alex and waved.

"Taylor!"

Alex got up and gave Taylor a hug.

"I'm so glad you made it!" he then turned and addressed the group. "Everyone, this is Taylor."

Taylor waved at everyone and then sat down next to Alex.

A girl sitting across from Alex leaned forward. "As in Taylor Hanson? From Hanson?"

Taylor nodded and grinned. "In the flesh."

"I knew it!" the girl said to the girl sitting next to her.

"But he's taken." Alex said, winking at Taylor.

"You better believe it," Taylor replied.

It wasn't until later that Taylor learned Alex hadn't been referring to Michelle.

\---

Zac emerged from the bedroom, looking disheveled, his phone in his hand

Zac emerged from the bedroom, looking disheveled, his phone in his hand.

"Stirling is on the phone. He wants to talk to both of us."

Isaac looked up.

"About what?" he asked.

Zac shrugged, walking over and sitting down on the couch next to his brother. He placed the phone on speaker and set it on the coffee table.

"Can you hear me?" Stirling's voice came through the small speaker.

"Yup. Zac and I are here." Isaac replied.

"Is Taylor around?"

"No, he's out." Isaac said, looking at Zac worriedly. It must be important if Stirling wanted all three to hear.

"Guys...I don't know how to tell you this but...we are no longer able to manage Hanson. Our company is folding."

Both Zac and Isaac were at a loss for words.

"What?" Zac asked, incredulous. "Are you seriously telling me that not only can we not record our fucking album, but we no longer have a MANAGER?"

"I am so sorry, Zac. Needless to say, we didn't see this coming. I can certainly recommend some other great managers who manage bands here in L.A."

"Thanks, Stirling." Isaac said weakly. "Thanks for letting us know."

"Again, I am so sorry, guys. If it's any consolation, our company manages many bands. You're not the only one this affects. I truly wish you guys the best with the album. There's some great material there. If Jeff continues to not accept it, honestly, I think you should think about other avenues of getting the album done and released."

"Like, what other avenues? What do you mean?" Zac asked, not sure what he was referring to.

"Have you thought about just self-releasing it?"

Both Zac and Isaac were at a loss for words.

"Self-releasing it?" Isaac asked. "I can't even imagine how expensive that would be."

"True, but at least then you could produce it your way, with no outside influence. I mean, how long have we been trying to get this record made? Maybe it is time to take this into your own hands."

Zac was nodding his head in agreement.

"You have a point. Fuck all these producers, fuck Jeff. This is our album and we should do it the way we want. It's a risk. But life is risk. Our fans will buy the album."

"I don't even...know how we would even begin to produce and release our own album." Isaac said honestly.

"Well, I'd say the first thing you'd do is create your own label." Stirling replied.

Zac raised his eyebrows.

"Well, now that is an idea."

\---

After a couple hours and many drinks later, Alex and Taylor were thoroughly enjoying themselves at the party. Taylor had been introduced to numerous people. The two had stepped out on the deck for a while to get some air and avoid the crowd. Both were quite intoxicated.

"Wow," Taylor breathed, enjoying the smell of the ocean. "Who's house is this anyway?" he asked, leaning on the railing to admire the view.

Alex leaned beside him, drunkenly almost falling over. "Our producer's. He rents it out when he's out of town. Honestly, I'm probably here more than I am in my own apartment."

"I don't blame you," Taylor admitted. "This place is dope."

Alex turned towards Taylor, smiling. He studied him intensely, then took a step closer to him. Taylor laughed, embarrassed.

"What?"

Being drunk had made Alex bold. "You are really gorgeous, you know that, right?"

Taylor blushed bright red, but felt flattered, not offended.

"Thanks, man." he said, taking a long gulp of his drink.

"Are you gay?" he asked.

Alex shook his head. "No. Maybe. Sort of."

Taylor laughed. "Have you been with guys before?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah. Like threesomes."

Taylor raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Wow."

Alex saw Taylor's expression and decided to see how far he could go with it.

"You want to have one?"

"What?" Taylor asked, almost choking on his drink. "Seriously?"

"Why not," Alex shrugged, "it could be fun." he said suggestively.

Taylor studied his new friend, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. He'd never met anyone like Alex, and Taylor had to admit he admired how comfortable he was with his sexuality. Though Taylor knew he was straight, he had to admit he had thought about what it would be like to kiss a guy.

"I wonder what my girlfriend would say to that." Taylor finally said.

"She'd probably be into it," Alex shrugged. "Some girls are."

Taylor raised an eyebrow, trying to imagine what Michelle's reaction would be to him bringing up that possibility.

The two stood there facing each other, leaning on the railing.

"Have you ever kissed a guy?" Alex asked.

Taylor shook his head, feeling like he was underwater.

Suddenly, Alex leaned in and grabbed the back of Taylor's neck, pulled him close, and kissed him with enough force that almost knocked Taylor over. Taylor responded instinctively and kissed Alex back.

Then, as quickly as he'd started, Alex let go of Taylor and stepped back, a smirk on his face, like the cat who'd just eaten the canary.

"So? What'd you think?"

Taylor blinked his eyes, still feeling Alex's lips on his.

"That was, uh, interesting." Was all he could say.

Taylor's phone rang. He took it out of his pocket, and saw it was Michelle.

"Hey babe, are you back?" he said drunkenly.

"Tay? I'm back! Where are you?"

"At a party in the hills," he replied. He saw Alex looking at him like a tiger on the prowl. "Come here?"

"Sure, what's the address?"

"140 Spruce Drive. And dress up."

He hung up, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

"That your girlfriend?" Alex asked.

"Yup." Taylor said.

"Excellent," Alex smiled, taking Taylor's hand and leading him back inside.

\---

The next morning

Michelle woke up and sat up, looking around, confused. She was surprised to see that she was lying between Taylor and Alex on a huge white bed. Thankfully, they were all fully clothed. She quietly got out of the bed and walked over to the window, stretching. She admired the view.

She chuckled to herself, remembering last night. She had had fun. She'd arrived at the party around midnight. By that time, Taylor was really drunk. She was introduced to Alex and immediately liked him. He was fun and outgoing and a musician too. They had partied until the sun came up, then apparently passed out in the bed.

She turned when she heard Taylor's phone ring. It rang again.

She walked over and shook Taylor awake.

"Tay? Your phone is ringing."

Taylor sat up, groggily. "What time is it?"

"2 p.m."

Taylor groaned. "Wow."

His phone started ringing again. He looked around for the sound, finally finding his phone in his jacket pocket.

"Hey, Dad." He sighed. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Walker said angrily. "I'll tell you what's up!"

Taylor cringed. Michelle could hear Walker's angry voice through the speaker.

"What's wrong, Dad?" Taylor asked.

"Have you seen the photos?"

"What photos?" Taylor asked.

"There are photos that were just posted on the website of you smoking marijuana at a party."

Taylor paled at that.

"What?"

"Yeah, son, I don't know what you were up to last night, but there are photos of you and Michelle getting real close and personal with some unidentified ladies. And smoking what looks like marijuana. This isn't good Taylor. This is not the image you want to project for Hanson. I'm going to call your manager now, and see if we can get these removed, but we're talking later."

Taylor hung up, sighing. He didn't yet know that their management company had gone under, and could no longer represent them.

Alex sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes.

"What happened?"

\---

That Friday Walker had flown in to see his sons. With everything that was happening, he felt the best option was to talk to his sons in person. They had filled him in on the fact they were no longer recording Underneath, and they no longer had a manager. Taylor told Walker they had an idea they wanted to talk to him about.

The four sat in their living room.

"Guys," Walker said, "with the album no longer being recorded, and you without management, I think it's time to think about what's next for Hanson."

"We agree," Zac said, "we have thought about it, Dad. Sure, we could get another manager, but what's the point? The label still won't pay for us to record the album. At this point, all we want is to get this record done and released. Our fans have been waiting long enough, and frankly, if we don't get this record done, we're gonna lose our minds. We want to take this into our own hands."

Taylor and Isaac nodded in agreement.

"What do you mean, take it into your own hands?" Walker asked.

"I think what Zac is trying to say," Taylor continued, "is that we just want to do this ourselves. We want out of our label. We've decided we want to self-produce the record."


	14. "A Drop In The Ocean"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle takes Taylor surfing for the first time. Taylor has a serious conversation with Michelle, but it doesn't go as well as he'd hoped.

  
-  
And I was drifting away   
like a drop in the ocean  
And now I've realized that  
nothing has been as beautiful  
As when I saw heaven's skies  
In your eyes  
-  


Laguna Beach

February 2002

After having the meeting with his father and brothers last month, Taylor had come to the conclusion that he and his brothers needed to take a few days off to really think things through in regards to what their next steps were for Underneath. Ike and Zac had agreed. Zac, needing some time away, had decided to visit Kate in Atlanta and Isaac had gone back to Tulsa. Taylor had stayed in Los Angeles.

Ever since Stirling had given them the advice to self-produce the record, Taylor couldn't get that possibility out his head. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. It was a risky one. It could seriously jeopardize Hanson's career or it could be the start of something new for him and his brothers, a fresh start for the band and a way for them to do their music in exactly the manner they wanted.

For the time being, though, Taylor wanted to push those thoughts out his head, for nothing was more important now to him than Michelle and their time together. Michelle was taking Taylor surfing for the first time today. Ever since last month, when Michelle told him she loved him in return and they made love in that cabin during their trip to Vermont, they had grown closer than ever. Taylor had fallen deeply in love with Michelle, and couldn't imagine his life without her.

"So, are you ready to hit the waves?" Michelle asked Taylor excitedly as she untied her surfboard off of his car.

Taylor took a look out at the ocean and saw that the waves looked very fierce. He saw surfers getting knocked off their boards harshly, which made him feel a bit afraid even though he'd never admit that to Michelle. He hoped he wouldn't fall off his surfboard in front of his girlfriend and embarrass himself.

"You know it!" Taylor feigned bravery even though he was scared as shit.

"You comin?" Michelle asked Taylor, turning her head towards him and smiling widely as she walked down the beach making her way to the water. Taylor could tell she was definitely in her element.

"Yeah!" Taylor answered back as he grabbed his board and proceeded to jog to catch up with her.

Taylor had never tried surfing before. Michelle showed Taylor how to get on his surfboard and paddle out to a good spot to wait for a wave. They sat in the water for a little as she watched out to the horizon for a good wave to come in. Taylor was nervous, but tried to put it out of his mind by studying other surfers' form, hoping to absorb some of their knowledge.

After about fifteen minutes, Michelle noticed that a good wave was coming their way and she told Taylor to start paddling towards it.

"Here we go!" she said, flashing a grin at Taylor.

They both paddled towards the wave as it formed, then Michelle got up on her board, and Taylor shakily followed her example. Taylor immediately fell off his board in the process, where Michelle managed to stay on hers as she executed a perfect finish as she rode the wave out.

After going under, Taylor managed to swim up and resurface and grabbed a hold of his board, panting and wet hair plastered over his face.

Michelle got off her board and swam towards him with a smile on her face.

"Hey babe, are you okay?" she asked him with concern.

"I'm just peachy!" Taylor said in return as he coughed water out of his mouth, even though he was basically miserable. The fall had knocked the wind out of him. He wasn't sure surfing was his thing. In fact, he already hated it.

Michelle laughed at this sight slightly, she never thought she would see the day she beat her boyfriend at something.

"Well, you almost had that wave, you just got on your board a little too soon....." she explained. "Practice makes perfect!"

Taylor just rolled his eyes at that comment.

"Come on, you know you like surfing!" she said. "How can you not? It's so rad!"

"I like to see you surf, especially in that little number...but...." Taylor said as his eyes averted to the bikini that Michelle is wearing. "I just don't know if it's very 'me', you know?"

"Come on Tay, let's get you another wave and I promise you, you'll execute it beautifully!" Michelle told him, feeling confident in him, despite his inexperience.

"I doubt it!" he said hesitantly, not wanting to get back on that board and embarrass himself again not only in front of his girlfriend, but in front of other surfers as well.

"I'll make you a deal, if you manage to grab a great wave and ride it out, then I'll do anything you want."

Michelle really wanted Taylor to enjoy surfing, because it was so important to her. It was her favorite sport. She'd never told him that, but if she hadn't been a musician, she had once dreamed of being a professional surfer.

Taylor raised an eyebrow, intrigued and excited at what she was suggesting.

"Anything?" He asked her.

"Anything" she said back to him, with a playful smirk on her face having an idea of what he is thinking of.

Taylor and Michelle surfed for a few more hours, as Taylor managed to grab a killer wave and kill it as he rode it out without getting wiped out this time around. Michelle cheered him on as she was so proud of him. She could tell he was struggling, but was trying to enjoy surfing because he knew it was important to her.

As the sun began to set, the young couple got out of the water and with their surfboards underneath their arms began to make their way back to the car where they loaded their boards and drove back to Michelle's apartment.

As they drove, Taylor watched Michelle out the corner of his eye. She caught him staring at her and smiled at him.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, looking back at the road.

Even though he had failed miserably at surfing, and was absolutely exhausted, he had enjoyed watching Michelle surf. It clearly brought her such joy, and he loved to see her happy.

\---

After unloading the car, the two walked into her apartment, still in their bathing suits, surfboards in hand.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Michelle said as she opened the closet to put her surfboard in and turned to face Taylor. "I am starving. I'll make us something to eat.'

"Great idea." Taylor answered back smiling at Michelle as he put his board away too and closed the closet door. "But first..."

Michelle started walking towards the kitchen but Taylor intercepted her, and took her hands in his.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, until Taylor leaned in and kissed Michelle on the lips.

"So about that deal we made?" He said.

"What deal?" Michelle asked teasingly, like she had forgotten.

"I was thinking, it's about time that I collect on it, don't you think?" Taylor asked Michelle seductively as his fingertips gently brushed up against her shoulders, slightly pushing aside her bikini strap. This made Michelle go weak in the knees as his touches always did.

"What did you have in mind?" Michelle asked playfully.

"Well, I was thinking we could take a long and hot shower together..." Taylor suggested.

"Mmmm, I love the way you think..." Michelle said to him.

"Then afterwards we can..." Taylor finished the rest of that sentence by whispering it into Michelle's ear.

Michelle just blushed slightly at the suggestion Taylor whispered to her. Taylor was always surprising her. Who knew he could talk dirty, too.

They kissed again until Michelle pulled away and grabbed a hold of one Taylor's hands and they begin to walk towards the bathroom. Taylor move his hands to the back of Michelle's back as she kissed him and he began to untie the strings of her bikini top, eventually tossing it to the side. Taylor hoisted Michelle up in his arms as she wrapped her legs around his waist as they now have entered the bathroom.

After their shower, Taylor and Michelle made love and eventually fell asleep in each other's arms dreaming such sweet dreams of their love and future together.

\---

(The next day)

Taylor and Michelle woke up late and decided they would eat out for breakfast instead of staying in and preparing it themselves.

It was a beautiful, sunny morning. They drove out to a restaurant in Venice Beach and decided to eat outside on the patio.

Taylor ordered eggs benedict and some buttered toast and Michelle ordered a blueberry waffle with some fruit on the side.

"You know, I really love this," Michelle said, in between bites, taking a sip of her orange juice.

"What?" Taylor asked, looking at her intently.

"This. Us." Michelle said simply, smiling up at him as she took a big bite of her waffle.

Taylor smiled. "Me too, babe. There's no place I'd rather be than here with you."

After they had finished eating their breakfast, the young couple decided to do some light shopping in the little vintage shops that lined the streets on the beach. Diana's birthday was coming up, and Taylor wanted to pick up something for her.

Hand in hand, Taylor and Michelle walked up the Venice Boardwalk and began making their way to the shops.

Something had been on Taylor's mind since that morning. He knew he had to tell Michelle about what was happening with their label and their management, but he would wait to tell her until they were alone away from the public eye.

"Michelle?" he said, as they walked hand in hand through the market.

"Uh, huh?" Michelle said, stopping to look at a blouse on a mannequin. She held it up and inspected it from all sides.

"Is there any chance we can go back to your apartment"? Taylor asked her.

Michelle saw the serious look on Taylor's face and knew something was up.

"What's wrong?" Michelle asked, sensing that something was wrong.

Taylor sighed. "I have to tell you something, but I'd rather talk to you about it in private."

"Okay, let's head back to my apartment then."

Taylor drove them back to Michelle's apartment, but through out the drive Michelle noticed Taylor was very quiet and distant and frankly it was scaring her, because she had no idea what he would tell her.

After a few more miles, Taylor pulled up in front of her building and put the car in park.

The young couple got out of the car with their shopping bags and made their way to the building. Michelle fished out her keys from her purse and unlocked the door.

Michelle gestured to Taylor to enter first, which he did, and she followed in pursuit and closed the door behind her.

Michelle looked at Taylor expectantly.

"What's up Tay, what is it that you need to tell me?" Michelle asked him.

"I think we better sit down for this" Taylor told her as he motioned for her to sit on the couch.

They sat down and Taylor grabbed a hold of Michelle's hands in his. Michelle looked very worried now.

"Well, you already know the label has suspended recording of Underneath."

She nodded.

He continued. "Well, Stirling called us and told us the company is folding and they can no longer manage us."

Michelle's eyes were wide.

"What? When did this happen?"

"Last Friday," he replied.

Michelle shook her head in disbelief.

"Wow, I am so sorry babe, that blows. You can find another manager, right?"

Taylor nodded. "Yeah, we can but...well, we've been thinking about other options for finishing the record."

"Like what?" Michelle asked, her interest piqued.

"Babe, you know how difficult this whole process has been for us. We've been trying to get the album recorded for over a year now. Island Def Jam just doesn't get us. It's not about the manager. It's about them. They don't like any of the songs that we've given to them. They push back at us at every turn. It's driving us insane. I can't even tell you how many damn producers we have worked with already."

Michelle nodded. She understood Taylor's frustrations, but had no idea what he was getting at.

"So, we were talking to Stirling, and he suggested we just do this ourselves."

Taylor looked at Michelle expectantly, hoping she'd be as excited about Hanson going independent as he was.

Michelle stared at him blankly. "What do you mean, 'do this yourself'? Do what yourself?"

"Like, produce, and release the record ourselves. No label."

Michelle's eyes were wide. She'd heard of bands doing that, but it was really expensive, and risky. Everyone in the industry knew you had to have a label to finance your record, unless of course, you could afford to do it yourself.

"Wow, Tay...that's huge. What do Zac and Ike think about this?" she asked.

"Zac's on board, of course. He hates Jeff and everyone from Island Def Jam. Ike is not so much into it. Dad's trying to talk him into it."

Michelle was surprised to hear Taylor mention their father.

"Your dad's into this?" she asked, surprised.

Taylor nodded. "He sees how frustrated we are. But he said there are legalities to us leaving the label. We can't just break our contract. We have to get them to agree to let us go, basically."

Michelle thought about everything Taylor was saying. She was happy for Taylor, that they'd maybe found a way to get their record made, but was worried about the process they had ahead of them for breaking their contract with their label. She'd heard of other artists doing that before, with disastrous results.

"So, if you did get out of your contract with Island Def Jam, and decide to self-produce the record, how would you do that? Here? Just rent studio time by the hour and do it all yourselves?"

Taylor shook his head. "No. We have a better idea. We'd start our own label, our own studio. Do everything our way."

Now Michelle was even more impressed. They'd obviously put a lot of effort into thinking about this.

"Well, why not, I guess. What do you have to lose?" she asked, shrugging.

"Nothing, but well, a lot of money." Taylor laughed.

Michelle took a moment to digest all that Taylor had told her. Then something occurred to her.

"So, if you and your brothers did this, would that mean that you'd move back home?" she asked.

Taylor nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. It just doesn't make sense for us to stay in L.A. unless the label is financing our studio time. It's much more sensible for us to just use our own space back in Tulsa. Plus, Island Def Jam is paying for our apartment to use while we're recording. We'd have to move out anyway, and, well, Zac and Ike want to go home. Dad's already looking into real estate for us. He found a great space, right downtown, that may work really well."

Michelle took a moment to process that information. She understood what Taylor was saying and his reasons for moving back home made sense, but it didn't make her happy. This was exactly what she was worried would happen; that their careers would interfere with their relationship.

Taylor studied Michelle, and her silence worried him. He wondered what she was thinking.

"Of course, we'd still stay together." he said quickly, taking her hand. "We'd just do the long distance thing until,"

"Until what, Tay?" Michelle asked, cutting him off. She took her hand away. "Until you move back? Are you going to do that?"

"Well, no...probably not," he said quietly.

"Until what, I move there?" she asked.

Taylor was silent.

"I'm just trying to figure out what you're saying. I can do the long distance thing for a while, but not forever." she said.

Taylor felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Michelle was mad. He had not expected this. He realized he hadn't put much thought into how this would affect her.

"We can visit each other. It's not like we can't afford it," he pointed out.

"That's not the point," Michelle sighed. "I've grown so close to you. I can't bear the idea of you being so far away. Only seeing you, what, every other month or so?"

"I can visit you every month, if that's what it takes. I love you, Michelle. I am completely committed to you. I need you to know that."

The two sat there, at a loss for words. There seemed to be no solution. Michelle's career was here in L.A., while it seemed likely that Taylor's would be bringing him back home to Tulsa.

Michelle got up from her spot on the couch and went towards the window staring out at the Hollywood hills in the distance. Taylor watched her, worried at what she may say next.

Finally Michelle spoke. "Tay, I was worried this would happen. That our careers would finally get in between us. For some reason, I thought you and your brothers were going to stay in L.A., even after the record was done being recorded."

"It just doesn't make sense to," Taylor replied. "We can do it all from Tulsa."

"I just don't know if I can do the long distance thing..." she said honestly, looking at him with such sad eyes. "It would kill me to not see you very often."

Her words hit Taylor like a punch in the face. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

"What?" he said quietly, "are you saying that you want to break up with me?"

"No," Michelle said, shaking her head. "No. But what I am saying is that I can not guarantee that I will be able to do this long distance thing. I don't want us to have relationship through an answering machine or computer screen."

Taylor leaned forward and put his head in his hands. He felt nauseous.

"Look, I know this is hard for you, just like it's hard for me too, but I don't think you're being fair. I feel like you're making me choose between you and my music," he said quietly.

The truth was, Michelle was hurt. She knew how important Taylor's career was to him, and she supported him, but at the same time, she wished he would just consider staying in L.A. She told herself that music was his first priority, and that's how it should be, but a part of her wanted to be his first priority.

"No, I am not, and I can't believe you just said that!" Michelle said with outrage in her voice.

It shocked her that Taylor would say that to her, since she knew firsthand what the life of a musician is like, since she herself is one too.

Taylor immediately regretted what he had said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Taylor told Michelle with much regret in his voice.

"I am just saying that I don't know if I can date someone who lives 2,000 miles away." Michelle said softly.

"Someone?" Taylor said incredulously, "I'm not just someone! It's me, Michelle!"

"I know that Tay! But what you want me to say? I just don't see another option to make this work for us!" Michelle said with such frustration in her voice, staring back out the window and crossing her arms over her chest.

There was another option, but Taylor was hesitant to bring it up. He had been thinking about it for months. The truth was, a part of him knew that him and his brothers didn't belong here in L.A. They had discussed staying there beyond the recording of the album, but they all missed being home. Even if the album had been recorded, they would have had to move back home, anyway. Beyond the recording, they really had no reason to stay in L.A. Taylor had always worried how this would affect him and Michelle. He had vowed to not let his career interfere with his love life. Zac had too. He had promised Kate he wouldn't put his career above her. Both Taylor and Zac had agreed that they would fight to have both; successful careers and girlfriends. Taylor was desperate to keep Michelle in his life. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Marry me."

Michelle's head whipped around and she stared at him open-mouthed, in shock.

"What?" she asked. "What did you just say?"

"I said "marry me." Michelle, will you marry me and move to Tulsa with me?"

Michelle was at a loss for words, for she had not expected this kind of news. She sat back on the couch, completely shocked, not knowing how to respond.

"Well, a 'yes', or even a 'maybe' would be nice..." Taylor joked, feeling uncomfortable.

"Taylor," Michelle said, looking at him again, this time the look on her face was unreadable. "I love you, but we are way too young to get married. Don't joke about that stuff."

"I wasn't joking..." Taylor said.

"Oh." Michelle said, embarrassed, averting her eyes. She stared at the floor finding the oakwood hardwood in front of her very interesting all of sudden.

Taylor watched Michelle and noticed she wasn't saying anything at all now, for this conversation was not going well at all in Taylor's favor. He was trying hard to maintain his cool, but he was getting upset. He was offended that Michelle had thought he was kidding about getting married. He hadn't been. He was completely in love with Michelle. If she told him that she wanted them to elope, he would have driven them to the nearest courthouse and married her in an instant, but instead he felt rejected and angry, because Michelle hadn't accepted his proposal.

But Taylor wasn't about to give up just yet.

"Look, if you marry me, we can live together, do our music our own way, and not have to worry about ever being apart. We're adults now. We can do what we want. And I want you." he said, grabbing her hand almost desperately and forcing her to look him in the eyes.

Michelle was completely overwhelmed by his proposal - if that's what you would call it.

"Tay, I think, I think...we should take a break. I think you need time to think things through more thoroughly in regards to what you and your brothers want to do with your band. This time apart can also give you the chance to really think things through in regards to us and how I fit into your future."

"What?" Taylor asked, shocked. That was the last thing he thought she'd say. He was so upset he couldn't sit down anymore. He stood up. Michelle continued to sit on the couch.

"You want to take a "break"? What does that mean?" He asked her feeling afraid of what her answer would be.

"That we both just need some space and time to think about everything."

Taylor felt his heart racing.

"If you love me as you say you do, why don't you want to marrying me then?" he asked.

"Because we are only 18 years-old, Taylor!" Michelle said.

Taylor paced a bit in front of the couch. He was getting more upset with each passing moment.

"So what!" he said, "We love each other!" There is no law that says we can't get married young. So why wait?"

Michelle looked up at him incredulously. Taylor wasn't backing down. He just couldn't see things from her point of view.

Michelle knew they were far too young to get married, and what Taylor was asking of her was too overwhelming for her.

"I need space, Taylor, to process all of this."

They stared at each other, neither willing to back down. He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away.

Taylor took a step back, from her and took a shaky breath. He tried to collect himself. He blinked, fighting back tears. He grit his teeth. He refused to cry in front of Michelle.

"Fine." he said carefully. "Call me when you're done getting "space."

Michelle got up from her seat on the couch and stood up.

"Taylor....." Michelle called out his name with such desperation and hurt in her voice, because she didn't want to fight with him anymore. If they were taking a break, she didn't want him walking away feeling angry with her.

Taylor ignored Michelle's pleas and turned on his heel and opened the door, slamming it so hard on his way out that it made Michelle cringe. He didn't bother to look back.

Michelle stood there in her living room, and watched the love of her life walk out her door and out of her life.

Michelle sat herself back down on the couch, feeling both stunned and sad in regards to what just happened between her and Taylor. 

"What have I done?" she asked herself softly as she began to cry.


	15. "In The City"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys play a gig in Atlanta. Taylor has too much to drink and makes a big mistake. The guys decide to move back to Tulsa.

  
-  
Do you love, do you love me, do you love me, little pretty?  
Can you tell me, can you tell me  
What's going on in the city?  
-  


February 2002

Los Angeles

It had been three days since Taylor had stormed out of Michelle's apartment, and he was a wreck. He'd barely slept or ate. He couldn't count how many times he'd almost called her. But despite how miserable he was, he was angry, too and was determined not to show her how much this had affected him. He had his pride.Though Michelle had asked for a break, it felt like she had broken up with him. He mourned as if she had. He felt rejected and that she didn't love him.

Luckily, that weekend would bring Taylor a welcome distraction him and his brothers were headed to Atlanta for the weekend to play a gig with some friends of theirs, a band called Sparrow.

Taylor was in his room, unenthusiastically packing his bag when he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," he said tiredly.

Zac walked in.

"Happy Saturday!" he said with false gaiety. Taylor just glared at his younger brother.

Zac sighed, closing the door behind him and leaning against the wall.

"You about packed?" he asked, trying to smile. Zac felt badly for Taylor, but was trying to be cheerful, hoping it would rub off on his brother.

"Yeah," Taylor sighed, putting a few items in his bag and zipping it up. He sat down on the bed. He didn't say anything, just stared into space. He looked exhausted; circles under his eyes, hair uncombed, and Zac was pretty sure he hadn't showered in days.

Zac bit his lip and looked at his brother, helpless as to what to say to make him feel better. The truth was, he he'd never seen his brother so depressed; it worried him.

"It'll be good to get out of town, play some music," he finally decided on, sitting beside his brother.

Taylor managed a tiny smile. "Yeah, it'll be a good distraction. And you'll get to see Kate."

The two sat there quietly.

"I don't know what I would do if Kate told me what Michelle told you," Zac said honestly. Though Michelle was his friend, and he wanted to understand her side, a part of him was angry at her for hurting his brother so badly.

"But I think it's important to remember she didn't break up with you, Tay she's just asking for some space. Girls say that sometimes."

Taylor rolled his eyes. That advice didn't mean much coming from Zac, who in his mind, had little experience with girls.

Zac just sighed, irritated. "I'm just trying to help."

Taylor turned towards his brother and managed a small smile. "Thanks, Zac. I know. I just have this awful feeling. Like...she's not coming back. What if she meets someone else on this "break"? What if she thinks about this and realizes she definitely can't do the long distance thing?"

Now, Zac did understand Michelle's reluctance to date long-distance; it was hard, he was doing it with Kate, but in his opinion, it was worth it for the right person.

"Tay, just try not to think about it for a few days. Give her space. She said she'd call you, right? She loves you, I know she does."

"I just miss her so much," Taylor said. "I don't know how to handle this."

Zac put his arm around his brother and gave him a hug.

"It's going to be okay," Zac said. "She'll come back. I know how crazy she is about you."

"And I may not be here," Taylor said softly.

Zac knew he was right.

\---

Atlanta Marriott Marquis

That evening

Isaac opened the door to their hotel room, nodding appreciatively.

"Not bad," he said, admiring the spacious room and walking in and dropping his bags on the largest bed.

"I get the big bed," he said, smirking. Taylor rolled his eyes, dropping his own bags on the opposite, smaller bed.

"Of course you do," he muttered, stalking off to the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

"What's up his ass?" Isaac asked, plopping down on his bed and putting his arms behind his head.

Zac shrugged, opening his bag and rifling through it. "He's tired, Ike. You know he hasn't got any sleep since him and Michelle...well, since their fight."

Isaac nodded. "You know, I talked to Michelle this morning."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I asked her what happened between her and Tay, and she basically told me he asked her to marry him."

"What?" Zac asked, looking up at his brother with wide eyes. That surprised him.

Isaac continued, "Yeah, she said he told her about what was going on with the label, that we were thinking about moving back home...and when she said she didn't want to do long-distance, he asked her to marry him."

Zac whistled, almost embarrassed for his brother at the desperate action.

"Damn. Okay, well that kinda explains why Tay is so bummed, I guess," he said.

"Yeah, for real," Isaac said, "I think she thinks Tay just said that without really thinking about it, and not taking it seriously. It really freaked her out."

Zac thought about what his brother had said as he unpacked his bag. He knew Taylor was serious about Michelle, but he hadn't imagined that serious. He could understand Michelle's reaction; after all, they were only 18 years-years old. Who wanted to get married that young? Zac couldn't blame her for running away. He hoped the two could work it out, though. He knew what her and Taylor had was really special. They were such a good match.

Zac's phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him out of his thoughts. He took it out. Seeing it was Kate, he answered eagerly.

"Hey, sexy," he said.

"Zac?! Are you here?" she squealed.

"I am," he responded, a big smile spreading over his face at hearing how excited she was to hear from him.

"What hotel are you at?" she asked.

"Marriot. The big one downtown with the fancy name." he replied.

"Yay! We're on the way," she said, then the phone went dead.

"We?" Zac asked aloud, but she had already hung up. He pocketed his phone, wondering who else she could be coming with.

Then it occurred to him; Natalie. Of course she was bringing Natalie along.

"Shit," he muttered, knowing what a terrible idea that was.

\---

The Variety Playhouse

The show had went very well, and all three guys, along with Natalie and Kate, were enjoying the post-show high in the green room, hanging out with their buddies from Sparrow.

Taylor had almost forgotten about Michelle for a minute. Almost.

"That kicked ass," Mike, the drummer from Sparrow, said. Isaac nodded his head in agreement.

"Agreed. I wish we could play with other bands more often."

"I think this calls for a toast." Isaac said, getting up and getting some shot glasses from the cabinet and a bottle of whiskey he'd brought with him.

Isaac poured everyone a shot and said,

"Here's to collaboration!"

Everyone cheered and took their shots, even Zac, who rarely drank.

Mike handed Taylor a drink, which he readily accepted, downing it in record time, then asked for another. Zac watched his brother closely. The night that Isaac got alcohol poisoning flashed in his head. He had a bad feeling that he couldn't shake. He vowed to not drink anymore for the rest of the evening so he could keep an eye on his brother.

After a while, the group decided to go back to the hotel. By that point, everyone was drunk, except Zac.

As the evening progressed, the party got more rowdy. Isaac had raided the mini fridge, and Taylor was playing DJ with his laptop. Zac had never really been into parties. He felt a headache forming and went out on the deck to get some air.

He stared out at the Atlanta skyline and thought about everything that had happened, and what the future held for him and his brothers.

He heard the glass door slide open and he turned, seeing Kate.

"Hey babe," he said, "too loud for you, too?"

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him sloppily.

"Babe, you should drink some water," he said gently.

She giggled. "Okay, Dad."

Zac couldn't help but smile.

"Taylor and Natalie are getting pretty cozy in the back room," she said in a sing-song voice, raising her eyebrow suggestively.

"Really," Zac said, highly doubting that. If anything, his brother was already passed out.

"Come on, I'll show ya," Kate said, taking Zac's arm and practically dragging him off the deck and back into the room.

Zac followed her with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Kate led him into the second room of the suite, and sure enough, there were Taylor and Natalie making out on the bed. Natalie as straddling him and didn't have her shirt on, and Taylor's jeans were unbuttoned.

Zac just stared for a moment, unbelieving. Kate stood there, arms crossed, smiling widely. She was loving this.

After a moment Zac snapped out of it, and quickly walked over to Taylor,

"Uh, Tay? What are you guys doing?" he asked.

Natalie looked up at him, and embarrassed, got off Taylor.

"Zac, what the hell is your problem?" Taylor asked, angry that he'd been interrupted. He sat up and stood up, leaving Natalie on the bed. He stood up and faced his brother.

Zac almost reeled at the smell of alcohol on Taylor's breath. He was swaying. Zac had never seen Taylor this drunk. But the thing that scared him the most was the look on Taylor's face.

He was so angry.

"Can we take this in the other room?" Zac asked, glancing at Kate and Natalie.

"There is no issue here, Zac. Just get you and your girlfriend the hell out. We're just having some fun here, right Nat?" he said, turning towards Natalie, who nodded in agreement.

"You're both too drunk to be making safe decisions," Zac said. "Just come out and hang with us on the other room."

There it was again. That bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Taylor stared at Zac incredulously.

"Who the fuck are you to be policing me? Just fuck off and go hang out with Kate, I'll do what I want," he slurred, reaching down for Natalie's hand. He pulled her up and pulled her close to his body. He kissed her roughly, as if to make a point.

Zac stared at Taylor, stung by his words. Taylor held Natalie close, and stared Zac down. Zac averted his eyes, feeling uncomfortable at seeing Natalie in her bra.

"You don't want to do this, Tay," Zac said softly. "I know you don't. Think about how Michelle would feel."

At the mention of Michelle's name, Taylor reached a new level of angry.

"Michelle DUMPED ME!" he screamed.

He let go of Natalie and marched over to the door that separated the two rooms, and motioned to it.

"Get out," he spat, with venom in his voice. "Leave us the hell alone."

Zac shook his head. Taylor was too drunk and too angry to reason with. He knew he'd lost. Taylor could make his own decisions - he knew that, but he also knew how much Taylor was going to regret this in the morning.

Zac took Kate's hand and they walked out of the room.

Taylor slammed the door behind them and, without saying a word, walked back over to Natalie, grabbed her roughly and crushed his lips on hers.

\---

The next morning

Isaac opened his eyes, and immediately noted the raging headache he had. He groaned and sat up in bed, squinting at the light. Apparently, they'd forgotten to close the blinds last night. He looked to his side and saw a girl sleeping beside him. He vaguely remembered picking her up after the show. He couldn't remember her name. He quietly got out of bed and padded softly over to the coffee maker.

He glanced at the clock, noting it was almost 11a.m. They may have partied too hard last night, but Isaac was okay with that since they'd all had such a good time. Check out was in an hour, so he figured he should wake everyone else up.

He walked past the opposite bed and saw Zac and Kate sleeping there. He quietly knocked on the door separating the two rooms and listened.

"Tay? You in there?"

After a moment, he opened the door, and what he saw was a surprise; Taylor and Natalie were passed out on the bed, completely naked. Isaac's eyes widened and he shook his head.

He walked over and shook Taylor's shoulder.

'Hey, bro. It's 11a.m. We gotta check out in an hour."

Taylor stirred and groaned, covering his head with a pillow.

"Go away," he said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"No such luck," Isaac laughed, "I'll give you two some privacy to get dressed. I made coffee," he added, walking back out the door and shutting it softly behind him.

Taylor laid there a moment, fully realizing the extent of his hangover before he sat up in bed, and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Natalie laying there next to him, sound asleep.

At first, he was confused; why was Natalie in bed with him? Had they passed out together? He could barely remember last night.

He touched her shoulder gently.

"Nat? We gotta get up," he said softly. She stirred, turning over onto her side and in the process, the blanket fell off her and Taylor could see she was completely naked.

"Oh my God," he said, staring at her.

Then he remembered - he had slept with Natalie. He felt a wave of nausea come over him, and he wasn't sure if it was from that realization or from all he'd drank last night. He quickly got out of bed, noting he had his boxers on, and ran into the bathroom to throw up.

\---

After he was done emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet, Taylor sat on the bathroom floor and thought about what to say to Natalie. He couldn't believe he'd gotten so drunk last night that he'd slept with her. He would have never done that sober. He was disgusted with himself, but not for sleeping with someone, but for it being Natalie, considering how clear he'd made it to her that he didn't like her that way.

"I'm so fucking stupid," he muttered under his breath, fighting another wave of nausea by taking a deep, shaky breath.

He heard a soft knock on the door.

"Taylor?" Natalie said, "Are you ok?"

"Just a minute!" Taylor replied, putting his head in his hands.

"Okay, I'll see ya in the other room," she said.

Eventually, Taylor emerged from the bathroom. He dressed and quickly packed.

He walked into the room to see everyone sitting around the breakfast bar eating room service breakfast and drinking coffee.

Isaac wordlessly handed Taylor a cup of coffee, which he took gratefully, taking a seat beside Kate.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Kate chirped. Taylor chose to ignore her.

Taylor knew all eyes were on him as he sipped his coffee. No one wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room, probably as to not embarrass Natalie, but Taylor wa sure everyone was judging him for sleeping with her.

He looked down at his phone and pretended to text someone.

Zac glared at him. He was really angry about how Taylor had treated him last night. He'd only had his brother's best interest at heart. Natalie stared at her lap, likely embarrassed, since everyone knew what had gone on between her and Taylor last night, and Kate just sat there, eating happily, smiling like a proud mother who's kid had won a ribbon.

Taylor pocketed his phone and took a tentative bite of his eggs, and realized quickly that was not a good idea. He felt another wave of nausea and quickly excused himself, and ran back to the bathroom.

Isaac laughed, taking a big bite of his eggs.

"Wow, Tay is hungover," he said, laughing.

'No shit, Sherlock," Zac said wearily, "you saw how much he drank last night,"

"We all drank too much," Natalie said, pouring herself a cup of orange juice.

"Yeah, I passed out cold," Kate laughed. "Good thing Zac was there to take care of me." she said, glancing at him and squeezing his thigh.

"Same here," Isaac said,

"Yeah, who was that girl? I saw her slip out this morning. Walk of shame!" Kate exclaimed.

"Is it terrible that I don't remember her name?" Isaac said, cringing.

Kate laughed. "Was she a fan?"

"Yeah, I met her after the show." Isaac replied.

"You shouldn't be hooking up with fans," Zac said, then realized how stupid that sounded coming from him.

Isaac just rolled his eyes, choosing not to respond to that.

"Well, it's not like I was the only one who hooked up last night," he said pointedly, looking at Natalie, who blushed bright red.

"Whoo-hoo!" Kate said, "you can say that again! You two were going at it for a while last night!"

Natalie, still blushing, just stared at her lap.

She nudged Natalie playfully. "Well, got any good stories? Is Tay good in bed?"

Natalie looked up at her shocked that she'd asked that in front of everyone, especially Zac.

Zac closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Babe, that is so not an appropriate question."

Kate just shrugged. "Why not?"

"I don't really remember, anyway," Natalie said, looking up and giving a small smile. "We were really drunk."

"I knew he was still into you," Kate said matter-of-factly, hopping off her stool and going over to the sink to wash her hands. "You know, they say people are more likely to do things they want when they're drunk."

"No, babe. I think it's the opposite, people are more likely to do things they wouldn't otherwise when they're drunk." Zac said.

Kate glared at Zac.

"Well, actions speak louder than words."

\---

They arrived at the airport with time to spare. Taylor and Natalie hadn't spoke.Taylor wanted to talk to her about what had happened, but didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her it'd been a mistake, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He was in an impossible situation.

"Uh, Natalie? Can I talk to you for a minute?" Taylor asked.

Natalie looked at him, surprised, and Taylor could have sworn, a hopeful look in her eyes, which made him feel worse.

He motioned for her to follow him. They stepped outside the terminal onto the curb. Taylor glanced back and saw Kate staring at them.

"Back off" Taylor mouthed to her, knowing full well if she suspected he was going to say anything she didn't like to Natalie, she'd try to intervene.

The two stood on the curb awkwardly.

"I uh, don't have a lot of experience with this," Taylor began, "with one-night-stands, I mean."

Natalie looked up at him and met his eyes.

"Is that all this was to you? A one-night-stand?"

Her question made him cringe, for he could see the hurt in her eyes. He genuinely cared about Natalie, and hated to see her hurting.

He swallowed hard, wanting to choose his words wisely.

"'I'm really sorry, Natalie. You deserve better. I was really drunk, and...I wouldn't have done it otherwise. Can we just pretend it never happened?"

Natalie looked at him incredulously. She turned her back towards him and stared out onto the horizon. Taylor watched her, uneasy. He worried what she would say next.

"You know what?" she said, finally turning back towards him. Taylor had been worried she was crying, but her eyes were dry. All he saw in them was a sad hardness.

"You're a really shitty person, you know that? "Can we just pretend this never happened?" Seriously?"

Taylor sighed.

"I'm sorry Natalie, but you know I have a girlfriend."

"I thought she dumped you," Natalie said, "at least that's what you told me last night."

"We're taking a break, and besides, you know I don't see you like that. I was just drunk," he repeated.

Natalie shook her head, disgusted.

"You're such an asshole. I can't believe I ever dated you. Go to hell. Tell Kate I went to wait in the car." and with that, she walked off, disappearing around the corner.

Taylor stood there, shocked at Natalie's words. She was not one to swear. He knew he'd hurt her once again, and hated himself for it.

"Damn it," he muttered, roughly running his hands through his hair.

Kate ran up to him.

"What happened? What did you say to her, Taylor? Where did she go?" she asked, looking around.

"She said to tell you she was going to wait in the car," he said, pushing past Kate and walked back into the terminal.

Kate stared at him as he walked away, angry, wondering what he had said to Natalie.

\---

Isaac and Taylor made it back without incident. Taylor immediately retreated to his room. Isaac put his bag down, sighing. He knew he had to talk to Taylor about what had happened with Natalie, but knew this wasn't a good time. He sat sat down on the couch and checked his phone. Seeing a missed call from Michelle, he called her back.

"Hey Ike!" she answered, happy to hear his voice. "How are you? How was Atlanta?"

"It was great!" Isaac replied, "so much fun. The venue was great."

Since her and Taylor's fight, talking with Michelle felt strange for Isaac. Although Michelle was his friend, and he knew he had one reason too, he felt that he was betraying his brother by talking to her when he couldn't.

"I'm glad to hear it," Michelle said. "What else is new?"

"Not much. Just trying to figure out what's next for us, you know?"

"Don't I know it," Michelle replied.

She was quiet for a moment and Isaac thought maybe the call had dropped.

"Michelle? Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"You okay?"

There was a pause before she spoke.

"How's Taylor?"

"Isaac sighed, not sure how to answer that.

He wondered if he should tell Michelle about what had happened with Natalie, then decided it was none of his business.

"Honestly? He's not doing so well. He really misses you."

"I miss him too, but...I need time to think."

"I know."

The two spoke for a while longer, then hung up.

Isaac sat on the couch, feeling sad for Michelle and for Taylor. He didn't know how Michelle would respond if she found out Taylor had slept with Natalie. Would she consider it cheating? Isaac didn't think Taylor did. Regardless, it would hurt her.

He looked up to see Taylor standing over him.

"What's up?" he asked, looking up at his brother.

"I just talked to dad. We're moving back home."


	16. "With Or Without You"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle regrets the break she asked for, and her and Taylor have a talk and get back together. Taylor's relationship with Kate remains strained.

  
-  
See the stone set in your eyes  
See the thorn twist in your side  
I wait for you  
Sleight of hand and twist of fate  
On a bed of nails she makes me wait  
And I wait, without you  
-  


March 2002

(Local Farmers Market-Venice Beach)

Ever since Taylor had told Michelle that Hanson's upcoming album was being put on hold and that he and his brothers were moving back to Tulsa, everything had changed. It had been nearly a month since Michelle had suggested to Taylor that they should take a break to think things over, and they hadn't spoke since then.

Michelle always knew in the back of her mind that her and Taylor's careers would eventually interfere in their relationship. That is what she had feared the most. She just hadn't hoped it would happen so soon. Music is what drew them to each other in the first place and music is what would eventually tear them apart, she always figured. That's why Michelle was so hesitant to start a relationship with Taylor due to this fear, but in the end she gave into her heart's desire, and that desire was that she wanted to be with Taylor. Taylor managed to break through the barriers Michelle had put up due to her past history with her ex-high school boyfriend Jimmy. Taylor was the only boy who managed to mend Michelle's broken heart and give her the hope to trust in love again. She loved Taylor so much that it pained her to be away from him. She regretted suggesting that they take a break from each other, but Taylor's sudden marriage proposal had drove Michelle to make that hasty decision. She loved Taylor, but she definitely didn't want to marry him. At least not yet.

Frankly, his proposal had scared her. Michelle knew how serious Taylor was about their relationship, just like she was, but she hadn't thought he was so serious to the point where he was thinking about marrying her right away, considering the fact they were both just barely legal age. To Michelle, marriage was a life-changing event that meant commitment. Michelle wasn't afraid of commitment, but she was afraid of change and she knew marriage would change everything for her and Taylor. She didn't think it would be for the better. They are both so young still and Michelle wanted to focus on her career and still have the option to travel around the world, feeling completely carefree to life's responsibilities. Somewhere deep inside she knew a part of Taylor wanted that too, or at least she thought he did.

Michelle thought about Taylor everyday, but she hadn't called him. There are many times she almost had, but then she'd put down the phone because she still didn't know what to say. She didn't want to get married, he did. He was moving back to Tulsa, she lived in L.A. A part of her thought it would be best for them to just move on, but another, bigger part of her knew she didn't want to live without him - she just wasn't sure how they could make it work. She was hoping time would give her clarity, but it only made her miss him more.

It was a fairly warm and sunny morning in L.A. in early March and Michelle was currently doing her weekly grocery shopping.

As Michelle was surveying a small mango in her hand, she heard her cell phone ring. She put the the mango in her basket and opened her purse and took her phone out. She cringed when she saw it was her manager. She answered the call.

"Hey Bob, what's up?" Michelle asked, knowing full well why he was calling her.

"Michelle! How are you? It's so hard to get a hold of you these days. Let's cut to the chase. Have you written any new material to put on your upcoming album that Maverick Records is so eager to have you get started on?"

"Well...I have been laying low lately. I've written some stuff, but I don't think it's the "best" material out there." Michelle told her manager with all honesty. "I'm just not feeling it lately, I guess. There's a lot going on that's distracting me."

"Michelle, you gotta regroup and get focused. "The Spirit Room" was an absolute success. You're currently one of the "hottest fresh new stars" right now, according to Teen magazine," Bob said with excitement his voice.

Michelle just cringed when she heard Bob tell her that.

"...and Maverick wants to capitalize on that right now," he finished.

Michelle just rolled her eyes hearing that last sentence.

"Course they do." Michelle said sarcastically. She hated the fact her record label saw her lately as a commodity instead of as an artist. Michelle knew she wasn't the only artist being subjected to that treatment, she knew other artists go through that process too. Taylor and his brothers were the first ones that came to her mind with all the bullshit they had been dealing with their record label. She hoped that wouldn't happen to her.

Michelle, lost in her thoughts, found herself thinking of Taylor then. She missed him so much. She tried not to think about him, but it was impossible not to.

Eventually Bob's constant nagging brought her out her thoughts.

"Michelle!" Bob yelled.

"What?" she replied irritated.

"Did you hear one word I just said to you?" Bob asks knowing full well she didn't.

"Honesty? No!" she said bravely.

"Michelle, I - " Bob started.

Michelle cut Bob off before he got a chance to finish his sentence.

"Look, Bob, I promise you that very soon I'll have the appropriate material for this record and I'll record it as soon as possible, okay?" Michelle said angrily. "I just need some space. Please."

Bob was left speechless, because Michelle had never spoken to him like that in all the years he has known her. He wondered what was wrong. Had something happened? Was that way she had been ignoring his calls? It wasn't like her.

Before Bob could reply back to her, Michelle had hung up the phone.

Michelle looked down and saw her basket only consisted of fruits and vegetables. Despite the fact that it wasn't much, Michelle decided she would take what she had right now and buy the rest of her groceries later on in the week. She didn't feel like shopping anymore since her head was filled with anxiety and fear in regards to her relationship with Taylor and now, due to Bob calling her, her career as well. She took her basket and walked up to the cashier and paid for her items and quickly left the store.

Michelle drove around aimlessly, not wanting to go home yet, but not sure where she wanted to go, either. Eventually, she decided to stop at a small coffee shop she liked in Venice Beach where she used to go with Taylor often. She parked her car and went into the coffee shop.

Michelle walked up to the barista behind the counter and ordered her usual beverage.

"Hi, can I get a small latte with two sugars, please?" Michelle politely asked.

The barista punched Michelle's order into the cash register.

"Sure thing! Where's that cute boy of yours?" she asked, loudly chewing bubble gum. She had long blonde hair looked lighter to Michelle today than usual, and her tan was darker.

Michelle sighed. "He's out of town," she lied, not wanting to tell the barista they'd broken up...or wherever it was their relationship stood now, Michelle thought sadly.

"I need like one small latte with two sugars!" the barista yelled back in her annoying "valley girl accent" to another barista who was working the bar section of the counter.

After a minute the other barista finished making Michelle's drink and he gave it to the the other barista. The girl passed Michelle her drink and gave her the total. Michelle paid for her beverage and walked out shaking her head. She loved L.A., but definitely felt sometimes like she didn't fit in. That was okay, though, she figured. L.A. was such a melting pot. All sorts of people lived there. If she didn't fit in, well, neither did anyone else, she figured.

She wandered around a little on the boardwalk and found a bench nearby and went to sit on it.

Michelle, with her beverage in her hand, stared out at the horizon. The sun was going down, and the sunset was absolutely stunning. Her mind kept going back to the day she and Taylor had breakfast there. Michelle remembered them feeling so happy and in love; that whatever was happening in the world, it didn't matter just as long as they were together.

"Excuse me, dear?" Michelle heard a voice, pulling her out her thoughts. She turned her head slightly and saw that an elderly looking woman was standing there with a cane in one of her hands to help support her balance.

"Is this seat taken?" the elderly woman asked.

"No, by all means, please sit...." Michelle said as she got up to help the elderly woman sit comfortably and then resumed her seat.

"Why, thank you dear."

All is silent for a few moments, as both Michelle and the elderly woman look out at the horizon.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" the elderly woman said as a way to break the awkward silence that lingered between them.

"Yes, it is. I love the sunsets here." Michelle answered back as she took a sip of her latte and looked out to the ocean and saw the waves gently crashing into the shore.

"Of course it's always lovely to see a sight like this with someone else. My husband and I used love coming down here after work and just watch the sunset. We would ask each other about how our day went...it was our tradition." the elderly woman said, smiling slightly.

Michelle noticed there was a certain sadness in the elderly woman's eyes and she was curious to know why.

"Why don't you and your husband come down here anymore?" Michelle asked.

The elderly woman looked at Michelle and smiled sadly.

"He died about five years ago dear," she said with such devastation in her voice.

Michelle immediately regretted asking.

"I'm so sorry! I should've not asked you that...it's none of my business."

"It's all right dear, I like to talk about him to anyone really, because the more I talk about him, the more his memory lives on," the woman said with fondness as she remembered her late husband.

"How long were you and him together?" Michelle asked with curiosity.

"We met when we were both 17 and we dated for about two years until we got married at the age of 20. We stayed married for 65 years," the elderly woman said with such love and pride in her voice as she reflected on the lifetime she and her husband shared together.

Michelle was left stunned by this admission. She couldn't imagine being with someone that long. She didn't think she knew anyone who'd been married even half that long.

"Wow, you and your husband got married quite young. Was there a reason for that?" Michelle asked, being careful with her words.

"You mean was I "pregnant"?" the elderly woman asked Michelle with a coy smile upon her face, with an eyebrow raised.

Michelle nervously nodded her head "yes", afraid of what the elderly woman would say to her next for being so nosy and tactless.

"No, dear. I wasn't pregnant when my husband asked me to marry him. I know nowadays that's one of the reasons you young people perhaps get married, but back in my day people got married because they were in love and wanted to share a lifetime together. Well, at least that's what my husband and I both wanted."

"You had no regrets in getting married that young? Didn't you want to chase after your dreams and see the world?" Michelle asked the elderly woman.

"Of course I did, but I realized that none of those things would have mattered if my darling husband wasn't at my side. You see dear, all us have dreams and it's wonderful to achieve them, but they become more richer when you have someone to enjoy them with. I enjoyed every single one of them with my husband. I feel so blessed to share everything with him, the good and the bad, and that together we built quite a beautiful life together," the elderly woman said with such love and sadness in her both voice and eyes.

"It sounds like you and your husband had a beautiful love story" Michelle sighed.

"We did, but not everything was always lovely and perfect. Believe me, we had our problems too. My husband was the most stubborn man I have ever known, just like I was the most stubborn woman he had ever known. We had our disagreements, but we always came to the conclusion we were stronger together than we were apart, so we would work things out. After every fight we had, we grew closer and I found myself falling more and more in love with him every single day."

"That's really sweet." Michelle said.

"When I see other couples together, walking around the boardwalk together, it brings both joy and sadness, because it reminds me how lucky I truly was to have my husband for the time that I had him. There's not a day goes by that I don't miss him, because I do. My only hope is that all these young couples are just happy as my husband and I were."

Michelle was left speechless, because this woman's love story really spoke to her.

The elderly woman noticed the far away look in Michelle's eyes and knew what she was thinking about.

"It looks like you found your soulmate," the elderly woman told Michelle with conviction in her voice. "I can see it in your eyes. Tell me about him."

Michelle just smiled as she thought about Taylor.

"I have, but we had a major fight almost a month ago and I haven't seen him since. I feel like I have lost him. I really hurt his feelings. If I have lost him, it's my fault, because I pushed him away..." Michelle rambled on helplessly.

"What did he do to make you push him away?" the elderly woman asked.

"He asked me to marry him. I said "no" because we are too young and we still have our whole lives ahead of us, you know? We're both musicians, and have had successful careers so far, so why ruin it?"

"Do you love him?" the elderly woman asked simply.

"Yes, I do, more than anything. I've never met anyone like him. But marriage is a big step and I don't know if we are truly ready for it." Michelle answered honestly.

"Well, you'll never know the answer to that question if you and him don't work this problem out. You need to talk things over and truly see if you two want the same things in the end or not, because if you don't then you need to let go of each other. Love is a beautiful emotion, but it can also be a heartbreaking one too, depending on the situation and person."

Suddenly, it occurred to Michelle what she had to do. The woman was right. She'd be an idiot to let Taylor go. He was willing to do anything to make it work. Now she has to do the same thing in return.

Michelle took one more sip of her coffee and got up and looked at the elderly woman.

"I have to go now, but thank you for everything," Michelle told her genuinely.

"Well, you're welcome dear, and good luck to you and your boyfriend. I hope everything works out for you two, because in my opinion you two sound like you're a perfect match," the woman said with such kindness in her voice.

Michelle smiled at this and walked away. She threw away her empty coffee cup in a nearby trashcan and she walked up to her car, got in, and drove back to her apartment.

\---

(West Hollywood-Michelle's apartment)

After putting away her groceries, Michelle went into her living room and grabbed the phone and dialed a familiar number.

After a few rings, a familiar voice was heard on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ike! It's me Michelle."

"Hey, Michelle! How are you doing?" Ike asked, surprised and happy to hear from her. He hadn't heard from her for almost a month.

"You know, the same old, just living the good life here in L.A. My manager is nagging at me to write some new material for upcoming album."

"Wait, you're going to be releasing a new album? When?" Ike asked with curiosity and confusion.

"Yeah, Maverick wants to "capitalize" on the ongoing success that my first album generated and wants me to release a new album as quickly as possible. But, I really don't want to do it right now, because I feel like I don't have the material. It's all about money to them instead of producing great quality music," Michelle said, frustrated.

"Don't I know it!" Ike said, laughing.

"Yeah, how's it going for you guys by the way?" Michelle said, changing the subject.

"Well, since Island Def Jam currently has stopped the production of our album for the time being, we moved back home and right now we are still trying to find a way to finish the album and release it." Ike said. "We have been talking to a lawyer about getting out of our contract. We found a space downtown and want to soon start converting into a studio space. Also, we've been working on that documentary, remember when we talked about that?"

"Yeah, totally! I can't wait to see it. So you guys are back in Tulsa now? When did you guys move back?" Michelle asked, interested.

"Almost three weeks ago...didn't Taylor tell you?"

"No, Taylor and I haven't spoken since we had our fight and he stormed out my apartment a month ago." Michelle said with sadness in her voice.

"Oh," Ike said.

All was silent for a moment, until Michelle spoke up again.

"How is he by the way?" Michelle asked.

"Honestly? He's miserable without you, Michelle. Why don't you call him? I have never seen him this angry and sad. He spends most of his days locked away in his room not wanting to talk to anybody. When he does come out of his room it's usually at night, when he's getting ready to go to some bar to drink away his sorrows."

Michelle is shocked to hear this, she never thought Taylor would take their break so hard.

"Man, I really screwed up didn't I?" she sighed. "Ike, I never meant to hurt him this badly," Michelle said with her voice cracking up a bit. "I just got scared."

"I know you didn't Michelle, you're not entirely at fault here either. Taylor had his part in this mess too. He shouldn't have asked you to marry him the way he did and then walk out on you so childishly after you declined his proposal. You both need to work this out, and soon." Ike said. "You two are gold. Don't give that up."

"I know, that's why I'm going to fly out to Tulsa tomorrow morning and I'm going to work this out with Taylor once and for all, no matter what happens," Michelle told Ike.

"Wow, really? He'll be so happy. Okay, just let me know when your flight lands and I'll come pick you up" Isaac told her. "Do you want me to tell him?" he asked.

"Thank you. And no, I want it to be a surprise."

"Your secret is safe with me, I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"You bet." Michelle answered back.

\---

Tulsa

The next day

It was a fairly sunny day in Tulsa despite the chilly air. Isaac had driven to the airport in the early afternoon and picked Michelle up. He was currently driving them back to his and Taylor's apartment, since Michelle wanted to see Taylor right away.

The car ride was silent considering neither of them knew what to say to one another given the circumstances. Isaac considered Michelle one of his dear and close friends, but he had a loyalty to Taylor given the fact he was his brother. It was a really sticky situation for him, he only hoped Michelle and Taylor would be able to work things out, because, quite frankly, Isaac didn't like being in the middle of all of this.

Eventually, he pulled up to the front of his building and parked the car. He and Michelle got out and he helped her with her luggage. They took it out of the car and began to walk into the building and to the elevator that would take them to the floor where his apartment was.

Michelle took a huge breath in, because she knew the talk she was about to have with Taylor would either repair their relationship or end it. She was nervous.

Isaac opened the door and gestured for Michelle to go in first, which she did. Isaac brought in Michelle's luggage and put it into the closet and closed the front door.

"Well, this is our new apartment," he said, motioning around. "Why don't you take a seat, while I go get Taylor?" he suggested.

Michelle took a seat on the sofa and waited for Isaac to come back with Taylor.

Isaac went and knocked on Taylor's door.

"Tay, are you in there?"

Isaac opened the door and saw that Taylor was sleeping. Isaac knew the minute he woke his brother up, he was going to get an ear full considering the fact that Taylor hated getting woken up.

Isaac walked over to the bed and roughly shook Taylor's shoulder.

"Tay! Come on, get up!"

Taylor groaned in frustration.

"Go away!" Taylor muttered as he turned his body slightly over and put a pillow on top of his head to block out Isaac's pleas.

Isaac grabbed the pillow and threw it across the room and yanked the sheets down in order to get Taylor out of bed.

"No! Come on, get up now!" Isaac said in a very demanding voice. "Trust me, you want to."

Taylor turned his body over into the direction where Isaac was and sat up on the bed as he gave his brother a glare.

"Ike! What the hell, man? I was sleeping!" Taylor said in such an angry tone.

"Yeah, well you can resume your sleep later. Right now you have a visitor," Ike said with indifference towards his brother's anger. He'd learned recently to not take Taylor's moodiness personally.

"I don't feel like seeing anybody right now, man! Just tell whoever it is that I'll call them later," Taylor said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Trust me, you want see this person," Ike said as he walked towards the door, opening it and gesturing for Taylor to follow him.

Taylor got up from his bed and followed Isaac into the living room. Michelle got up from the couch the minute she heard footsteps approaching. Their eyes met.

Taylor was shocked, and didn't know what to say at first. The last person he expected to see standing in his apartment was Michelle.

All was silent for a few moments, until Isaac spoke up.

"Well, I'm leaving right now. I'm meeting a friend for lunch, so I'll see you guys later," Ike said as he grabbed his keys and wallet off the counter and walked to the front door, leaving and closing it behind him.

All is silent once again, as Taylor or Michelle didn't know what to say to one another. After a few minutes Taylor spoke up.

"So, what are you doing here?" he asked her as he stood there uncomfortably.

"I had to see you to talk to you about our relationship," Michelle said nervously.

With those words being said, Michelle now had Taylor's complete attention.

"Really? He said hopefully. "Why don't we have a seat then?" he suggested as he gestured towards the couch.

Both of them took a seat on the couch and immediately locked eyes with one another.

"So, what do you need to talk me about?"

Michelle took a deep breath and started. "Ever since the day I suggested that we should take a break to think things over, I've been thinking about you, us and if we have a future together or not. Taylor, you have to know I love you so much. I have never met anyone like you. You're only guy who managed to break through those barriers that I put up after what happened with Jimmy. You opened my heart to the possibility of love. You...taught me to love," Michelle told him with such love in her eyes and voice, realizing it was true.

"But?" Taylor asked.

"No, there's no "but", just "and." I need to stop letting my fears get the best of me, because if I keep letting them...then I'm going to lose the one thing I love most in this world other than my music, and that's you."

Michelle gently touched Taylor's cheek and stroked it. She felt immediately better having told Taylor how she felt.

She continued. "You never cease to amaze me. You're so sure of everything including us, I just wish I could be more like you."

"Michelle," He began to say before she cut him off by putting one of her fingers against his lips.

"Shhh, let me finish please?" She whispered and removed her finger from his lips.

"Like I said, you're so sure of everything including us. You convinced me from the very beginning to take a giant leap of faith and to give us a chance despite the obstacles we were going to have to face. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I wanted to be with you. I still do, I just don't want us to get married at least not right now." Michelle said with such honesty.

Michelle saw the disappointed look in Taylor's eyes and hoped her next sentences would sound hopeful.

"I know, without a shadow of doubt, you're the one for me. You're the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with. The one I want to marry and have a family with, and grow old with. But we have time. Let's not rush it."

Michelle grabbed a hold of Taylor's hands and looked at him dead in the eyes as she felt herself getting lost those beautiful blue eyes of his.

"I want us to spend our days loving one another, playing music together, going on adventures together and spend our nights talking about our day as we watch the sunset together. I want a lifetime with you." Michelle told him.

"I want that too," Taylor whispered to her as he grabbed a hold of her face and caressed it. "I missed you so much."

"But, we don't have to get married this instant, okay?" Michelle told Taylor hoping he would agree.

Taylor took one look into Michelle's eyes and knew deep down she was right.

"You're right. We can wait to get married." Taylor told her honestly. "We can take our time thinking about it. When the timing is right, then we'll get married. In the meanwhile, we continue to date."

"I'm willing to do the long distance thing for how long we have to. Like I told you before, you're it for me. If this time apart has taught me anything it's that I never want to lose you." Michelle said with such fear in her voice.

"You never have to worry about that," Taylor said honestly.

He gently kissed her and rested his forehead against hers.

"I'm yours forever, Michelle. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart, I promise you that." Taylor said to Michelle with such love in his voice.

"I love you," Michelle whispered to Taylor.

"I love you too," He whispered back to her.

\---

After staying up late talking, Michelle had fallen asleep. Taylor woke up the next morning and looked next to him, afraid that it had been a dream, but there Michelle was, sleeping soundly next to him. He smiled and got out of bed and dressed with a spring in his step, feeling happier than he had in weeks. He had Michelle back. He knew everything was going to be okay as long as he had her. He kissed her sleeping form and closed the door slowly behind him. He figured he'd make some coffee and wake her once it was ready.

He brushed his teeth then headed to the kitchen.

He walked into the kitchen to see Kate and Zac standing there.

Zac had a key to their apartment. Kate must have put him up to this, Taylor thought.

He sighed. He hadn't realized Kate was coming this weekend. Though he shouldn't have been surprised. Since they'd moved back to Tulsa, Kate had come to visit every weekend. Tulsa was not a long drive from Atlanta.

"Hey Taylor," Kate said icily, sipping her coffee. "Want some coffee?"

Taylor turned immediately on his heel, intending to leave and avoid the whole situation.

But Kate blocked his exit with her body.

"Nope" she said, "you're not avoiding me anymore. We are talking about this now", she said sternly, handing him the cup of coffee.

Taylor saw the look on her face and knew she was right. He had to talk to her or she would never leave him alone.

"Fine," Taylor grumbled, accepting the cup from her.

Taylor had tried hard to get along with Kate, but she made it impossible. He knew she wanted to talk about what had happened with Natalie last month in Atlanta. Until now, Taylor had been able to avoid her, but he knew he couldn't any longer.

"Taylor, we need to talk." she said.

Taylor sighed, glancing over at Zac, who just stared at his shoes. He hated how passive Zac was around Kate. Isaac jokingly called it "whipped" and Taylor now saw what he meant.

"Do we now?" Taylor asked.

"Yes. You've been avoiding me for weeks," Kate replied.

"Because I know you're going to give me a hard time," Taylor said simply. "And I'm just not in the mood."

"Taylor," Kate said, putting down her coffee cup roughly. "She cried for hours that night. What did you say to her, even? She won't tell me."

Taylor sighed, and sat down in a chair on the kitchen table, putting his head in his hands. Zac stood on the other side of the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

"Does Zac need to be here for this?" Taylor asked.

"It's not like I don't know what happened," he said quietly.

Taylor sighed. "Okay, fine. What do you want to talk about?"

He stared Kate down, daring her to speak.

"I am sick of the way you treat Natalie," Kate said.

Taylor raised his eyebrows, yet again surprised at Kate's nerve.

"The way I "treat" Natalie? Seriously, Kate? It's none of your fucking business how I treat my ex-girlfriend."

"That is where you're wrong," Kate said angrily. "It becomes my business when I have to hear her cry over you."

Taylor was surprised to hear that Natalie had cried over him.

"Actually, she told me off, Kate. I doubt she's shedding a tear over me. She thinks I used her for sex, or something. She called me an asshole."

"Well, didn't you?" she asked pointedly, her voice raised.

"Look, can you be quiet?" Taylor hissed. "Michelle is in the other room. And it takes two, alright?" Taylor sighed, "I do feel bad about it, but I can't take it back, okay? What happened, happened. Whatever."

Kate just stared at him, incredulous that he could be so cold towards Natalie.

He stood up, walking over to her and lowering his voice, "But listen, Michelle and I are back together as of last night and you better not say anything to her about what happened, do you hear me? I won't let you ruin this."

Kate laughed. "Or what? What are you going to do?" she challenged. "I don't know about you, but I think Michelle deserves to know what you were up to during your little "break".

Zac's eyes widened. He loved Kate, but even he admitted that was out of line. She had no right threatening Taylor like that. He glanced at his brother and saw how angry Taylor looked. He came over, taking Kate's arm gently, knowing he had to intervene.

"Come on, babe. Leave him alone. I get you're mad, and you're a really good friend to Nat...but it's none of our business," he said, pleading with her to let it go.

"Are you kidding me?" Taylor asked Kate angrily, ignoring Zac. "Who the hell are you to threaten me? What I do, whether it be with Natalie or anyone else, is none of your damn business! When will you get that? Just because you're Zac's girlfriend doesn't mean you have any right to interfere with my life!"

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"If you tell her what happened, I will personally make your life a living hell," he added.

"Hey, bud, relax, okay?" Zac said, feeling protective of his girlfriend. "She's not going to say anything, alright? Right, babe?"

He looked at Kate, who just shrugged casually.

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

Taylor knew that if he continued this conversation with Kate he would say something he'd regret, and that would offend Zac, and it would make the situation even worse.

"We're done talking about this," he said simply, pushing past her and walking out into the hallway.

He went back into his bedroom to see that Michelle was already awake and dressed, packing her bag. He was scared that she had heard some of their conversation. But when she looked up at him and smiled, he knew she hadn't heard anything. He let out a deep breath in relief.

"Did you sleep well, babe?" Taylor asked her, coming over and giving her a kiss.

"I did," she said, "I'm so happy we're back together," she said honestly.

Taylor smiled, but felt sad at the same time, because he knew if she found out about what he'd done with Natalie, she'd never trust him again.

"Me, too."

He looked at her intensely as she zipped up her bag. In that moment, he made a promise to himself that he would never let anything get between him and Michelle again.

"Babe?" he said,

"Yeah?" she replied, looking up at him.

"I love you," he said.

She smiled and stood up, putting her arms around his waist.

"And I love you," she said sincerely, kissing him gently on the lips.

Michelle finished packing her bag and the two left the room.

The two walked into the living room to see Isaac, Zac and Kate sitting on the couch, playing video games.

Taylor helped Michelle into her coat and put his on as well.

"Hey Michelle!" Kate said brightly, getting up and giving her a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm great, thanks. How are you?" Michelle said, hugging her back, pleasantly surprised that Kate was being so nice to her. She couldn't recall Kate ever hugging her before. Michelle always thought Kate never liked her very much.

"Great! I am so glad you and Tay are back together," Kate said with false sincerity in her voice.

Taylor looked at Kate, giving her the dirtiest of looks. He didn't know what her intention was, but it certainly wasn't good.

"Uh, yeah, thanks," Michelle said, a bit confused as to how Kate already knew, as it had just happened last night.

Kate saw her confusion and said, smiling "Ike told me."

Michelle nodded, picking up her bag. "Yeah, um we're really happy."

Taylor, knowing this conversation could go nowhere good, quickly picked up Michelle's bag and ushered her out the door.

"What was that about?" Michelle asked as the two walked towards the car.

"I don't know." Taylor lied, "she's been in a better mood lately."

"Well, I like this new Kate. Maybe she's not so bad after all."

Taylor glanced at Michelle and smiled, wishing that were true, but he knew that his problems with Kate were far from over.


	17. "Second Chances"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalie gets some surprising news. Alex, Taylor and Michelle become closer. Kate and Natalie drive to Tulsa to visit the guys to tell them the news.

  
-  
Sometimes we get second chances  
And sometimes we never make it past the first  
It really makes you wonder why somethings happen when they do  
It really makes me wonder why it wasn't me instead of you  
-  


Late March 2002

Los Angeles

Since he'd gotten back together with Michelle, Taylor didn't want to be apart from her. Much to his brother's disapproval, Taylor had gone back to L.A. with her, intent on staying with her for awhile and making up for lost time.

It was the last Saturday of the month. Alex's band was playing that night at The Slow Club in Hollywood. Michelle and Taylor planned to attend. Alex had been a big support to Taylor during his break with Michelle, and they'd become much closer friends over the last month. Even though Taylor no longer lived in L.A. he and Alex spoke often on the phone, and Alex had even come out to Tulsa for a weekend earlier in the month to visit Taylor.

But before going to the show, Taylor wanted to take Michelle out to dinner.

It was a lovely, warm evening, and the two strolled hand-in-hand towards their favorite Thai restaurant which wasn't far from Michelle's apartment. An older couple smiled at them as they passed on the sidewalk.

"What was that about?" Michelle asked, amused.

"They probably think we're a cute couple," Taylor said, glancing over at her and smiling.

Michelle smiled to herself and squeezed Taylor's hand harder.

"Well, we are," she agreed, smiling back. "It's kinda gross, actually," she joked.

Soon they were in the middle of a heated, but playful discussion about what was U2's best album.

"No way," Taylor shook his head, pretending to look shocked at Michelle's suggestion. "War is in no way their best album. It's definitely Pop. The arrangement is better."

Michelle shook her head, laughing.

"No way! Are you kidding me? That album -

She was interrupted by Taylor's phone ringing in his pocket.

"Hey Dad," he said, picking up the phone. "What's up?

"Taylor, I have good news! We need you to come home. We just got approved for the loan for the studio space! We need your signature."

Taylor sighed.

"Dad, can it wait a few days?"

"Taylor, no, we need you back here. When can you come back?"

Michelle looked at Taylor, curious. "Dad", Taylor mouthed.

"Tomorrow evening I guess," he sighed.

Michelle glanced over at him, frowning, knowing that meant he was leaving tomorrow.

"Okay, son, thank you. We'll see you soon."

Taylor pocketed his phone, sighing.

"That was Dad."

"I figured as much," Michelle said, as they walked into the restaurant.

They stood and waited for the host to seat them.

"He wants me back home tomorrow. Apparently, they got a loan for the space we want to buy, and they need my signature."

Michelle was disappointed Taylor would be leaving so soon, but she was excited for him, too.

"That's great, Tay!' she said, hugging him. "It's no biggie. I mean, I'm disappointed, but I know I'll see you soon," she said, smiling and hugging him.

He smiled down at her and gave her a kiss.

"Thanks for understanding. There's just a lot going on."

"I know, babe. But you're not leaving until tomorrow, so let's enjoy tonight."

\---

The two had enjoyed a good dinner and the show. After, Michelle, Taylor, and Alex decided to visit a nearby club that Alex said didn't card celebrities and was a popular hangout for young and popular musicians like themselves.

Michelle was skeptical they'd be let in. But when they arrived, the bouncer took one look at the group and let them in without a word, stamping their hands and ushering them quickly in.

Michelle looked at Alex in wonder.

"Wow, he just let us in like that, huh?"

Alex nodded. "We're famous and cool, you know," he laughed, "you do know that, right?"

Michelle just shook her head. She didn't feel famous, but she knew she was. It still felt strange to her to be recognized. A part of her still felt she didn't deserve it. She had no issue enjoying the perks of celebrity, though.

The three spotted an empty table across the room in the corner and quickly claimed it, leaving their belongings on the seats so no one would take the table.

"So, who wants a drink? On me," Alex said.

Michelle didn't have much experience drinking, and didn't really know what to order.

"Uh, something fruity?" she said, shrugging. "What are those drinks called? Sex on the Surf?"

Taylor laughed. "You are so cute," he said, grabbing her by the waist and kissing her. "I think you mean, "Sex on the Beach"."

Alex smiled as he watched them. It was obvious to him they were in love. He was happy for Taylor, but couldn't help but be a bit disappointed.

The truth was that Alex had a crush on Taylor. He had since the moment he met him - hell, maybe even before that. He was happy to be Taylor's friend, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want more. But the more time he spent with Taylor and Michelle, the more he realized just how in love with his girlfriend Taylor was. Alex knew he didn't have a chance with Taylor. He'd just have to accept that.

"Uh, hello? Well?" he said teasingly, "get a room guys."

Michelle pulled away from Taylor, embarrassed. She'd never felt completely comfortable with public displays of affection, even with Taylor. But Taylor had this way of making her forget that there were people around her. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

"One Sex on the Beach for my girl here, and I'll have a jack and coke." Taylor told Alex.

"Coming right up," Alex said, walking away towards the bar.

Michelle sat down on the plush red bench in their booth and Taylor sat beside her. She looked around at the crowd of mostly young, famous people. There were quite a few people there she recognized.

"Is that Avril Lavigne over there?" Michelle whispered, leaning into Taylor, her eyes wide.

Taylor strained his eyes and nodded. "Looks like her. And I'm pretty sure Alex is talking to Justin Timberlake at the bar,"

Michelle looked over and he was.

"Wow," she breathed, "I feel really star-struck right now,"

As if on cue, a shy-looking woman approached their table.

"Hey," Taylor smiled, sensing it was a fan.

"Hi..." she said shyly, "uh, are you uh, Taylor Hanson?" she asked.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," he joked. "What can I do for you?"

"Can you sign this?", she said, turning bright red, handing him a CD.

Taylor took it and saw it was a copy of This Time Around.

"Of course," he said, smiling and taking the CD from her. He pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and quickly signed it and handed it back to her.

She smiled like she'd been given a present.

"Thank you so much," she said, standing there awkwardly.

"You're welcome," Taylor said. "Thank you for being a fan."

The girl blushed again, mumbled something else, then walked away. Michelle watched her walk over to a table across the room and sit down. The girl showed the CD to a woman sitting next to her, and pointed over to their table.

Alex returned with their drinks.

"Who was that?" he said, referring to the woman who's CD Taylor had just signed.

"A fan," Taylor said, sipping his drink.

Alex nodded, sitting down next to Taylor.

The three sat for a while, enjoying their drinks and people watching. After a while Alex asked if they wanted to dance.

Michelle shrugged. She usually didn't dance, but the alcohol had made her feel bold. "Sure, why not?"

The three entered the dance floor and danced together for a few songs. After a while Alex said he was going to get a second round, leaving Taylor and Michelle alone on the dance floor.

"Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera started playing and Taylor groaned, stepping back from Michelle, intent on leaving the dance floor.

"I hate this song," he admitted.

Michelle pouted. "What? I love this song!" she said, taking his hand and pulling him close to her again. "You are not going anywhere!"

Taylor rolled his eyes but obliged. He couldn't say no to Michelle.

After the song was over, Michelle said she was going to go talk to Avril, and Taylor went back to the table with Alex.

An unknown girl was sitting with them at the table when he got back.

"Hey, I'm Taylor," he said, extending his hand.

She shook it, smiling. "Simone."

Taylor sat down next to Alex and took a sip of his second drink. He cringed a bit; it was a strong one.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," Taylor joked.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Nah, you do that just fine on your own,"

"Touche'," Taylor said, smirking.

"Where'd Michelle go?" Alex asked, looking around.

"She's talking to Avril Lavigne."

Alex nodded.

The three sat there drinking their drinks, just relaxing. It was too loud to comfortably talk, which was fine with Taylor. He was content to just sit there and listen to the music.

"Taylor?" Alex asked, "Wanna go have a smoke?"

Taylor nodded. "Sure."

The two put on their jackets and went outside, leaving Simone to watch the table for them.

As they stood in the alley smoking their cigarettes, Taylor could tell Alex had something on his mind.

"What's up, bud? I can tell something is on your mind."

Alex took another drag of his cigarette and glanced over at Taylor.

He hesitated a moment before he spoke.

"Remember that night at the party? When I kissed you?"

Taylor nodded slowly, taking a drag of his cigarette. "Yeah, but in all honesty, I was really faded so I don't remember much."

Alex was disappointed Taylor didn't remember - a part of him wished Taylor had, and more, that he wanted it to happen, again.  
"Do you remember kissing me back?" Alex asked, hopeful.

"Sort of?" Taylor said.

He clearly didn't remember.

"Well..I'm sorry," Alex said, looking at Taylor. "It was out of line."

Taylor shrugged. "It's okay. If I hadn't been into it, I wouldn't have kissed you back, would I?"

Alex shook his head.

"You astound me, Taylor Hanson. Just when I think I have you figured out."

Taylor laughed, throwing his butt on the ground and grinding it under his heel.

"No, but seriously. You know I'm not into guys, Alex. I am so in love with Michelle. But if I was into guys, I'd be totally into you," he said seriously.

Alex looked into his friend's eyes and knew he was telling the truth. It made him feel a tiny bit better.

"I can tell," Alex said, "I mean, how in love with her you are. She's great. I'm happy for you," he said sincerely.

"Thanks," Taylor said.

"But that doesn't mean I may not still try to get you drunk and make out with you," he joked.

Taylor laughed and opened the back door to the club.

"In your dreams," he said, winking and he disappearing inside.

Alex smiled to himself and followed Taylor back in.

In his dreams was right.

\---

Atlanta

Natalie had never been so scared in her life.

Her period had been due two weeks ago, and every day that passed without it starting made her anxiety worse. She was a nervous wreck. Finally, unable to keep it to herself any longer, she had finally called Kate and told her. Kate had come over, armed with a pregnancy test. Natalie had peed on it as per the instructions.

Natalie stared at the floor while Kate paced nervously around Natalie's room.

"You'd think this was you," Natalie said, watching Kate pace around. "Not me."

Kate stopped pacing at looked at Natalie.

"What if you are pregnant, Nat? What then?"

Natalie shood her head. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't even want to think about it, Katie. I'm still in high school. I don't even have a boyfriend. My mom would have a cow."

Kate swallowed hard and sat down next to her friend and gave her a hug.

"Whatever happens, I am here for you. Always."

Natalie nodded. "I know. Thanks, Katie."

"Are you ready?" Kate asked, checking her watch. "It's time."

Natalie nodded numbly. Kate got up and walked into the bathroom, where she had left the test.

There wasn't a sound from the bathroom.

"Katie?" Natalie said quietly. "What's it say?"

Natalie's heart started racing. Why wasn't Kate saying anything? She was afraid she'd faint if she got up. She just remained seated on her bed, wringing her hands, waiting for Kate to come out with the test. Natalie closed her eyes and imagined Kate coming out and showing her the test, laughing and saying it was negative.

But when Kate walked out of the bathroom and Natalie saw the look on her face she knew that wasn't how this situation was going to go.

"Natalie..." Kate said quietly. Natalie had never seen that look on Kate's face before: she was scared.

"No," Natalie said harshly, shaking her head like a bratty child. "No, you're wrong."

"You're pregnant, Natalie. I am so sorry."

Natalie felt the ground fall beneath her, then everything went black.

\---

Atlanta

"Oh my God! Natalie, are you okay?!"

Kate rushed over and shook Natalie's shoulder. When she had seen the results of her home pregnancy test, she had fainted. Thankfully, since she'd been sitting on the bed when she fainted, she didn't appear to be hurt.

Kate shook her shoulder harder, calling out her friend's name, she was out cold. Kate knew that fainting wasn't a big cause for concern, and that she'd wake up soon. She covered Natalie with a blanket and sat down at the desk, watching over her friend worriedly.

Kate thought about what had just happened. She couldn't forget how scared Natalie had sounded on the phone when she had called her. Natalie had asked her to come over right away, and of course she had. Kate had an afternoon class, but something told her something big had happened so she decided to skip it. Natalie hadn't wanted to tell her on the phone. When Kate had come over, Natalie admitted she thought she may be pregnant and had started crying uncontrollably. Kate hugged her until the crying had subsided, then had driven to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. For the first time in her life, she didn't know how to help her friend. Being older, she'd always felt a bit protective of Natalie. Now Natalie was facing one of the scariest things a girl can face, an unintended pregnancy, and Kate felt helpless as to how to comfort her.

Slowly, after a while, Natalie came to.

"What...happened?" Natalie said groggily.

"Thank God," Kate said, getting up and sitting on the bed next to Natalie. "You fainted! I was so worried."

"I what?" Natalie said, slowly sitting up in bed. She turned towards Kate.

"I had the strangest dream. God, it was so scary. I dreamed I was pregnant."

She shook her head and laughed. "God, it felt so real."

She looked over at Kate, confused. "Wait, why are you here?"

Kate didn't have the heart to tell her it hadn't been a dream, that according to the test, she was pregnant. She looked down at her hands and sighed.

It slowly dawned on Natalie. "Wait, it wasn't a dream...was it?"

Kate looked up at her and bit her lip before replying. "No. It wasn't. You're pregnant,"

She got up, and walked over to the test she'd left on the bathroom sink. "Or at least according to this, you are..."

Natalie looked like she was about to faint again, so Kate rushed over to her. She sat down next to her and gave her a small hug.

"Look, Nat. These things aren't always right. How about we take you to the clinic near campus?"

"Okay," Natalie said quietly, taking a shaky breath.

"Hey," Kate said, "look at me."

She took Natalie's chin in her hand and turned her head towards her. Seeing the fear in Natalie's eyes, Kate smiled reassuringly.

"It's going to be okay, alright? I doubt you're pregnant. It's probably a false positive."

Natalie nodded her head numbly. Kate had this way of making you think she knew what she was talking about.

"I really hope you're right."

\---

The drive to the clinic was a quiet one. Kate had called ahead and requested an appointment. Luckily, there had been a cancellation that day. Natalie hadn't said one word the entire ride. Kate kept glancing over at her as she drove, worried. Natalie just stared out the window.

"I mean, what is the chance that someone could get pregnant after only having sex once? I mean, what is even the chance of that? How is it possible I could be that unlucky?" she said suddenly, looking over at Kate.

Kate shrugged helplessly. She knew that there were actually only a few days out of the month that a girl could get pregnant. If Natalie had gotten pregnant that night, she was right; it'd be incredibly bad luck.

"It's definitely not likely," she admitted, trying to sound reassuring. "I bet those home pregnancy tests have false, uh, positives all the time."

Kate knew for a fact that was wrong - false negatives, sure...but she knew from sex education class she'd taken freshman year that false positives were almost unheard of.

Kate pulled into a parking spot in the lot and put the car in park. She turned towards Natalie.

"Are you ready?"

"No. Can we go back?" Natalie said, looking over at her best friend, making no attempt to unbuckle her seatbelt.

Kate sighed. She was sympathetic, but if Kate was anything, she was practical. She knew this had to be dealt with. And if Natalie wasn't willing to make it happen, she would.

"Come on, Nat. You need to do this."

"I know," Natalie sighed, unbuckling her seatbelt.

The two got out of the car and walked into the clinic.

Kate approached the receptionist. Natalie sat down heavily on the nearest chair.

"Uh, hi, I called earlier...my uh, friend has an appointment for a pregnancy test?"

The receptionist smiled warmly.

"Sure, honey. What's her name?"

"Natalie Bryant."

The receptionist typed something into her computer.

"Ah. Yes, there she is."

She handed Kate a clipboard with some paperwork on it.

"Have her fill this out, okay hun? The nurse will call you in in a bit."

"Thank you," Kate said, taking the clipboard and sitting down next to Natalie.

"How are you feeling?" Kate said, handing her the clipboard. "The lady said to fill this out."

Natalie did so. While they waited, Kate took a good look around. There were two other women waiting in the room with them. The waiting room was bright and welcoming. There were pictures of smiling mothers and their babies on the walls. One of the women was clearly pregnant, and browsing a pregnancy magazine. The other was a girl around Kate's age, sitting there uncomfortably, staring at her lap. Kate wondered if she was there for the same reason.

After what seemed like an eternity, a nurse opened the door and called Natalie's name.

She ushered the girls in. "I'm Karen," she said, glancing at her clipboard. "Natalie? I'll be your nurse today, okay?"

Natalie nodded, a lump in her throat preventing her from saying anything. Kate saw her take a deep, shaky breath.

The nurse glanced at Kate as they walked down the hallway towards an open examination room.

"Are you here for moral support?" she asked.

Kate nodded.

"That's really sweet of you," the nurse smiled. "I'm sure your friend appreciates it."

The nurse brought them into an examination room and softly shut the door. She motioned for Kate and Natalie to sit down on the two empty chairs against the wall. They did so. She sat down at a desk and faced them.

Kate held Natalie's hand as the nurse explained the process of getting a pregnancy test. There were two types; one based on urine and one based on blood. The later could be given earlier in the process to detect early pregnancy, but the urine one was more common and the results were quicker. Natalie nodded numbly as the nurse explained everything.

"How long has it been since your last period, honey?" the nurse asked gently. Natalie stared at her lap, embarrassed.

"I should have gotten it two weeks ago. My uh, mom gave me this little chart I use to, uh keep track."

She fished a little notebook out of her pocket and handed it the nurse.

"Ah, I've seen these. They're handy," she said, taking it and looking at it.

After a moment, she handed the booklet back.

"Natalie, since it has been two weeks since your last period, I advise we do a urine test."

"Okay," Natalie said.

The nurse explained what to do, gave Natalie the cup, and pointed to the bathroom.

Kate and the nurse sat in the office together, waiting.

"How likely is it that you can get pregnant after just having sex once?" Kate asked her.

"Not likely but, well, it only takes once. You'd be surprised how many girls I give pregnancy tests to who say that they only had sex once and well...they end up pregnant. You know, the best way to avoid pregnancy until you're ready for a baby is to stay abstinent."

Kate nodded in agreement. "That's what my boyfriend and I do. We want to wait until marriage."

 

The nurse smiled, clearly pleased. "Smart girl."

"It's not easy," Kate said honestly.

"Nothing worthwhile ever is."

Kate smiled. She liked the nurse. She was nice and unassuming, and she didn't feel like she was judging Natalie, which has been a worry of hers.

"In fact, my boyfriend's brother is, well if Natalie is pregnant...he'd be the dad."

The nurse nodded. "Wow, you two really must be good friends. Both dating brothers?"

"Well, no she's not uh, actually dating him..." Kate said.

"Oh, I see," the nurse said.

Natalie walked in.

"Okay, all done."

"Great," the nurse said, standing up. "Now you go home and wait. We will call you by the end of the day if it's a positive result. Then we can discuss what's next. No call is a good call. That means you're not pregnant. Okay sweetie?"

"Thanks," Natalie mumbled, looking at the ground, still clearly really embarrassed.

"You're welcome," the nurse said, showing them out the door. "Make sure to check out at the front desk on your way out."

\--

Later That Day...

Natalie was a nervous wreck.

Since getting back from the clinic, she'd started crying again, and couldn't stop.

"Katie..." Natalie sobbed, her head buried in her friend's shoulder. "What if I am pregnant? What am I going to do? Taylor hates me! How would I tell him? How would I tell his family? What about my mom? Oh my God, I'd be so embarrassed," she rambled on. Kate smoothed her hair and shushed her.

"Nat, it's going to be okay. You're not pregnant. This is just a false alarm. Everything is going to be okay."

Natalie's large, brown eyes stared into Kate's, whose were a lighter shade of hazel. Natalie sniffed, wiping away tears with a shaky hand.

"How could I have been so stupid?" she said angrily, more to herself than to Kate. "I must be a total slut."

Kate sighed. She hated seeing Natalie put herself down like that. She knew that wasn't true. She knew Natalie had only slept with one guy - Taylor, and only twice at that.

"You're not a slut, Natalie. You just made a mistake."

But nothing she could say would make Natalie feel better.

Kate put on the television to help distract them while they waited for the nurse to call.

Finally, Natalie's phone rang. She quickly took it out and saw it was the number for the clinic.

"You answer it," she said, shoving it at Kate. "I can't do it."

Kate took the phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Ms. Bryant?"

"One second," Kate said, handing the phone to Natalie.

"This is her," Natalie said, putting the receiver up to her ear, her voice barely a whisper.

Natalie closed her eyes for a moment and said a prayer. She promised God that if she wasn't pregnant she would never have sex again.

"I have good news," the nurse said, "you are pregnant Natalie. Now, I know this can come as a shock, but I can promise you that we are here to help you in any way we can to -

Natalie didn't hear the rest of the nurse's sentence. She slowly lowered her hand and the dropped the phone on the floor. She heard the nurse's voice still droning on through the receiver, but was no longer listening.

She was pregnant. Pregnant.

She sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands and started crying uncontrollably again.

"Oh God," Kate said. Her heart sank. She knew right away what had happened. She ran over and hugged Natalie tightly, as if she keep her from falling.

"I am so sorry, Nat."

Natalie cried for hours before finally falling asleep.

\---

Tulsa -The next day

As Walker had requested, Taylor had flown back to Tulsa the following evening. Saying goodbye to Michelle had been hard, but he knew he'd see her soon. He was already planning to come back the following week. That morning he, Zac, Isaac, and Walker all had an appointment with the loan officer at the bank to sign the loan that they'd use for the down payment on their house. They could have afforded to put it with cash, but Walker had insisted on them getting a loan, paying it was a better option to help them build credit.

Taylor was in an excellent mood that day. It's those rare days, where the world seems limitless, that receiving bad news is particularly heart-breaking.

Despite his irritation at having to come back from L.A. early, Taylor couldn't help but feel excited. It was finally happening. Him and his brothers would have their own space to finish recording their album. They were that much closer to going independent as they wanted.

They even had a name for their new label; "3CG Records." It was a reference to the album they had released as a compilation of songs they had previously released independently, and to the building the band then used as a recording studio before they could afford to rent space - their parent's garage. It was a name that had special meaning to the guys.

As Taylor stood outside the bank waiting for Zac and his father to show up, he lit a cigarette and smoked it, lost in thought. He thought about how good things were going now for him. For the first time in a long time, he was excited for the future. He knew him and his brothers still had a long way to go to get out of their contract with Island Def Jam and to get the record done, but he knew they could do it. He couldn't wait to get back on tour again. He knew the fans were itching for new music from them.

Mostly he thought about Michelle. He felt so lucky to have her.

He saw his father's car pull up, and quickly snuffed out his cigarette. He knew his father didn't approve of his smoking.

Zac hopped out of the car, a big smile on his face.

"Hey, Tay!" he said, walking up to him. "Welcome back."

The four of them walked into the bank and sat down in the waiting area, waiting to be seated.

\---

Atlanta - the next morning

Kate sighed, and closed her eyes in frustration. Her and Natalie had been arguing all morning. Kate thought Natalie should tell Taylor she was pregnant. Natalie didn't want too. At least not yet. She was still processing what was happening, and to be honest, was a bit in denial about the situation.

Natalie had decided not to go to school today, and Kate had no classes. Pam was out running errands.

"Natalie," Kate said, "you have to tell Taylor! Now. Why wait? He deserves to know. It's his baby, Natalie!"

Natalie crossed her arms and groaned. "I know that, Katie! Jeez. It's my business, okay? It's my problem. I will tell him when I'm ready."

Natalie sat back on her bed and turned on the television.

Kate sat down at Natalie's desk, frustrated. She didn't understand Natalie's reluctance to tell Taylor about her pregnancy. She got that her and Taylor didn't really get along, but they were going to be parents - they had to learn how to get along.

After a while she spoke up again. "Come on, Nat. Isn't at least a part of you excited that you're pregnant with Taylor's baby?"

Natalie stared at Kate disgustedly. "Really, Katie? Are you serious? Yeah, I'm totally stoked that I accidentally got pregnant one night when I was drunk. You know he only slept with me because he was drunk. I. Am. Not. Telling. Him. So, back off."

Kate got up and threw her hands up in frustration. "I give up, Nat! If you're not going to tell him, I will!"

Anger clouded Natalie's pretty features. She put the remote down and got up off the bed.

"You wouldn't," Natalie warned, taking a step towards Kate. "You wouldn't do that to me."

"Watch me," Kate said, taking out her phone. Natalie's eyes went wide. She tried to grab it from Kate, but Kate dodged her, quickly moving to the other side of the bedroom.

Natalie stood there, frozen, unable to believe that Kate would do that to her.

Kate brought the phone to her ear, finger poised over the button.

"I'm doing it..." she warned, "unless you will."

Natalie continued to just stare at Kate, unbelieving in how stubborn she was being. Tears began to well up behind her eyes. She blinked, fighting them back. The last thing she wanted to do was start crying again.

"Fine," Natalie finally said, knowing she couldn't win because Kate always got what she wanted. "Call him."

Kate smiled, coming over and hugging Natalie. "I'm glad you agree. Trust me, it's the right thing to do."

The two sat on the bed together.

Kate dialed Taylor's number, but there was no answer. She tried again. Still, no answer.

"He didn't answer," she said, sighing, putting the phone on the bed.

Natalie felt relieved, but only for a moment.

"I'll call Zac and see if he's with him," Kate said, picking up the phone again and dialing the familiar number.

Zac answered after two rings.

"Hey, babe. What's up?" he asked.

"Hey, love. Hey, is your brother around?" she asked. "It's an emergency."

Natalie rolled her eyes at Kate's dramatics.

"Which one?"

"Taylor."

"Yeah, he's with me. What's up? Everything okay?" Zac asked.

"I need to talk to him," Kate said. "Can we come down to Tulsa tonight?"

"What? Tonight? Katie, that's a 12 hour-drive. How about in the morning?"

As much as Kate wanted for Taylor to know about this as soon as possible, she also knew it was not something to be told on the phone.

"You're right. We'll head out first thing bright and early. We should be in Tulsa by 5 p.m. tomorrow if we drive straight through."

"Okay, um...do you want me to tell Taylor you're coming?" he asked.

"No. We'll just see you guys tomorrow, okay?" she said.

Zac hesitated before answering. He had a bad feeling. Zac couldn't imagine what was so important that Kate couldn't tell Taylor on the phone. He could hear the urgency in her voice, though and he trusted her.

"Okay babe. Call me when you're close. Just come over to our house, okay?"

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

Kate hung up the phone.

"Katie, I don't know if this is a good idea..." Natalie said.

"Trust me," Kate said, "this is not something you tell someone on the phone."

Natalie nodded, knowing Kate was right.

\---

The next morning, the girls were up bright and early. They packed quickly and got on the road.

The drive was a long, quiet one.

By the time they got into Tulsa, both were exhausted from the drive, but relieved to finally be there. Kate had done the drive many times before, but for some reason, this one had felt longer. Maybe it had felt like that because Natalie had said all but one word to her the entire ride.

Natalie had been driving the last leg, and she pulled the car into Walker and Diana's driveway.

The two got out of the car and slowly walked up the driveway.

"You know, in a way I'm ready." Natalie said suddenly. "I mean, I just don't want to be the only one who knows anymore, you know? It's too stressful."

Kate nodded. She could understand that. 

They stepped up the front steps to the porch.

"Ready?" Kate said, squeezing Natalie's hand.

"I guess," Natalie replied.

Kate knocked on the door.

After a few moments, it opened and Zac stood there, smiling.

"Hi babe," he said warmly, opening the door for them.

He gave Kate a hug and a kiss, then hugged Natalie.

"How was the drive?" he asked, closing the door behind them.

"Long, as usual. I'm starved," Kate said.

"I'll find you something to eat," Zac said, walking towards the kitchen, motioning for them to follow him.

"Where are your parents?" Kate asked, sitting at the kitchen island. Natalie sat beside her.

"Dad's upstairs, Mom's out." Zac replied, opening the fridge and peering inside. "What are you in the mood for? Looks like we have some leftover pizza, and also spaghetti."

"I'll eat anything you put in front of me," Kate said honestly.

"What about you, Nat?" Zac asked, glancing at her.

"I'm not hungry," she replied softly.

Zac glanced at Kate, worried. He could tell something was wrong.

Zac heated up the spaghetti on the stove.

"Katie, tell me what's up." Zac said, walking over to her. "I'm worried."

Kate sighed and looked at him solemnly. There was no beating around the bush with her. "Natalie is pregnant."

Zac's eyes went wide. He looked at Natalie, who just closed her eyes and bowed her head, so embarrassed she hoped she'd just disappear.

"What?" he choked out, looking back at Kate. "You're kidding, right?"

The look on Kate's face immediately told him she was definitely not kidding.

"Oh my god," he said slowly, realizing the gravity of the situation. "It's Taylor's, isn't it? That's why you're here. To tell him."

The three picked at their food in silence. After they'd finished their food, Kate put the dishes in the sink and asked if Zac could go get Walker and meet them in the living room. Zac agreed and went upstairs.

Kate motioned for Natalie to follow her into the living room, and to sit down next to her on the couch.

"Remember," Kate told her friend, "this isn't your fault. He got you pregnant. You don't need to be embarrassed. If anything, he should be. I promise you'll feel better after you tell them."

Kate took Natalie's purse and rummaged through it until she found her phone. She held it up.

"Here. Call Taylor. Tell him to come over."

Natalie slowly took the phone from Kate and dialed Taylor's number.

Surprisingly, he answered.

"Natalie?" he asked, sounding surprised.

Natalie's stomach flip-flopped at the sound of his voice. As much as she hated him at times, the truth was that she still had feelings for him. She thought about him more often than she cared to admit.

"Hey, Taylor," she said quietly. "How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you? It's nice to hear from you," he said warmly.

"Yeah. Me too. Uh, listen I'm in town and I'm at your parents house...I need you to come over right away. It's an emergency."

"What? Why? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just, uh please come over right now, okay?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay," Natalie said, hanging up.

"Is he coming?" Kate asked.

Natalie nodded slowly, sinking back on the corner of the couch and curling her legs under her, as if she was trying to make herself smaller and invisible.

Zac walked back in, followed by Walker.

"Hello girls," Walker said, sitting down on the chair across from them. "Is everyone ok? Zac said you had something important to tell me?"

Kate smiled at him. "Hi Mr. Hanson. Yeah, we uh, drove here from Atlanta. Natalie had some, uh important news. It may come as a bit of a shock..."

"What is it?" Walker asked, leaning forward.

Kate looked at Natalie, urging her to talk. Natalie just stared at her lap. She obviously wasn't going to say anything.

Kate knew she had to tell him.

She cleared her throat. "Mr. Hanson, we found out this morning that Natalie is pregnant...and it's Taylor's."

Walker went pale and didn't say anything for a moment. Zac looked at his father nervously. He couldn't imagine what his father's response would be.

Kate looked at Zac nervously as they waited for Walker to respond.

"What?" he finally said. "You're pregnant?" he said, addressing Natalie.

She looked up and nodded. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we uh went to the clinic yesterday and got a test."

Walker sunk back into the chair.

"When did this happen?" he asked.

"In Atlanta. Last month." Kate admitted, speaking for Natalie. "We came to visit them when they played that show."

Walker nodded slowly, putting it all together.

"I see." he said.

Zac sighed. He recognized that voice. It was the voice his father used when he was disappointed. He thanked his lucky stars it wasn't him and Kate in this situation.

"Have you told Taylor yet?" he asked Natalie gently.

She shook her head.

Kate spoke up to explain. "We called him a bit ago and told him to come over."

"Good," Walker said, then it seemed like something occurred to him. "Can you let me tell him? I think this a family matter."

The truth was, he didn't want Natalie there when he told Taylor. Walker knew Taylor wouldn't take this well, and he didn't want Natalie's feelings hurt.

"Of course," Kate said, "I totally understand. Natalie, you're cool, with that right?"

Natalie shrugged, not caring anymore what happened.

Kate stood up and motioned for Natalie and Zac to follow her.

"How about we go over to Sadie's for a while?" Kate said, referring to a friend of Zac's. 

Zac nodded, getting up. "I'm sure she would be down to hang out."

He took out his phone and was about to dial her number, when Taylor walked into the room, breathless.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Everyone turned to look at him.

"Shit," Zac muttered.

\---

"What's going on?" Taylor asked breathlessly. "I came as fast as I could. Is everyone okay? Why is everyone here?"

Taylor took a look around. He saw Natalie sitting on the couch, and she looked fine. Kate sat beside her. Zac was sitting on the opposite couch, and Walker on the big chair. Everyone seemed fine. No one said anything. They all just sat there staring at him.

Taylor began to feel uneasy. It looked suspiciously like an intervention, and Taylor didn't like it one bit.

"What is going on?" he asked.

"Sit down, son." Walker said quietly. "We have some important news to share with you."

Taylor felt his stomach drop. There was something in Walker's voice that scared Taylor. His father didn't use that tone unless it was really serious.

"Okaaay..." Taylor said, walking over slowly and sitting down on the couch next to Zac. Zac wouldn't look him in the eye. Taylor looked at Natalie but she wouldn't look him in the eye either. Kate glared at him, for what reason he had no idea.

Walker cleared his throat. "Son, there's no point in delaying this. I have some news that may come as a shock to you..." he trailed off, like he was unsure how to say what he had to.

"Well, Dad? What is it?" Taylor said, growing more stressed with every passing moment.

"Son...Firstly, I just want you to know that I'm not mad, it just came as quite a shock..."

"What is it?" Taylor asked again, confused. "What are you talking about, Dad? Why would you be mad?"

Walker knew what he was about to tell Taylor would devastate him, and completely take him by surprise. He felt bad for his son. Though he believed his son would need to take responsibility for what he had done, he still felt bad, because he knew how quickly his son's life was about to change.

Kate looked between Zac and Walker, clearly irritated.

"Seriously?" she said. She looked at Taylor, who looked completely and utterly confused.

Kate decided to just take matters into her own hands. Taylor deserved to know, and clearly no one else had the heart to tell him.

Kate turned towards Taylor.

"Taylor, Natalie is pregnant. It's yours."

Taylor stared at Kate for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"That's funny," Taylor said once he'd stopped laughing, "yeah right. Good one."

But he quickly saw that no one was laughing. His smile faded.

He looked at Zac, alarmed. "She's kidding, right?"

Zac shook his head sadly.

"No, she's not. I'm sorry, Tay."

"Oh my God," Taylor said, the gravity of what he had just been told setting in. He leaned over and put his head in his hands. His hangover wasn't making anything any easier. He felt like he could easily throw up.

"No, no, no..." he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else.

"I'm sorry," Natalie mumbled.

Taylor looked up at her, startled.

"You're sorry?" He said incredulously. "Really?"

Natalie looked down at her hands, embarrassed. Kate jumped to her defense.

"Don't be an asshole, Taylor. It takes two. You got her pregnant. It's not her fault. You know,"

But Taylor wasn't listening anymore. Kate's voice fell away and he felt a buzzing noise in his ears. He figured maybe he was in some sort of shock. He felt a heavy weight on his chest, making it hard to breathe. All he could think of was Michelle, and how disappointed and hurt she would be when she found out.

"No," he heard himself say. "You can't do this to me."

He then felt Zac sit next to him. Taylor felt his hand on his shoulder. His brother's touch calmed him, but only for a moment.

"It's okay, Tay. It's going to be okay."

Taylor looked up to see everyone staring at him.

Suddenly, Taylor knew he couldn't spend one more second in that room, surrounded by people who looked at him with pity and disappointment.

"I can't deal with this," he said getting up and hastily putting on his jacket.

"Son, you can't just leave," Walker said, "we'll figure this out as a family. Like I said, I'm not mad."

Taylor could hear Natalie softly crying on the corner. Kate was whispering something to her, glaring at him as she did so. There was true hatred in her eyes.

"No, I have to leave," he said, turning and walking towards the door. No one but Zac followed him. Taylor went to open the door, but Zac stopped him.

"Tay, I know this is crazy, but you can't just leave. You can't do that to Natalie. Do you know how hard it was for her to come here?"

"I don't care," Taylor said, shaking his head. "I have to get out of here, to think. Please, Zac. Let me go."

Taylor locked eyes with his brother, who stared at him with sad eyes.

"Okay," Zac sighed, moving to let Taylor through. "Call me later?"

Taylor nodded and left. Zac watched his brother get into his car and drive off before closing the door and going back into the living room.

"He just left?" Kate said incredulously. "Seriously? Way to be mature."

Walker smiled at Natalie in an attempt to be reassuring. "He'll come around. Just give him some time. This must come as quite a shock."

Natalie nodded. "Thanks, Mr. Hanson'" she said quietly.

"Why don't you girls stay here tonight? We'll call him in the morning. I'm sure he'll come around, and we can all talk."

Kate nodded. "Sounds good. We're beat, right Nat?"

Natalie just nodded, wiping back tears. She couldn't believe Taylor had just left like that. She knew he'd be upset, but she couldn't believe he'd just walk out like that.

"Well, if he didn't hate me before, I'm sure he hates me more now," she mumbled.

Kate looked at her sadly. "I'm sure that's not true. He's just in shock. Like Mr. Hanson said, he'll come around."

Natalie wasn't so sure of that.

\---

Taylor drove home, grateful no one had followed him. He hastily parked his car on the street and keyed himself into his apartment.

"Ike?" he called, "you home?"

He received no answer, which was a relief.

Taylor sat down heavily on the couch. He breathed a sigh of relief. Now that he was alone he could think.

So, Natalie claimed she was pregnant. He refused to believe it. Maybe she was wrong. He should have asked if she'd taken a test. He felt bad for thinking of it, but he couldn't help but think that maybe she was lying. He knew she still had feelings for him. He knew "I hate you" was sometimes just another word for "I love you." Maybe she thought saying she was pregnant was a way to get him back.

But he didn't think Natalie would do that. Lie about being pregnant. He knew she was a good person.

He leaned back and ran his hands through his hair roughly.

He told himself this had to be a bad dream. This could ruin everything for him.

"I'm ready to wake up now," he muttered at no one in particular.

He had to talk to someone about this, but not someone in his family. He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Alex's number.

"Hey Taylor!" Alex answered, sounding really happy to hear from Taylor. "How are you?"

"Hey buddy. Sorry it's been so long since I called...I've been busy,"

"No worries, bro. What's going on?"

Taylor gulped, taking a deep breath, and tried to fight the nausea and panic he felt.

"Alex, I fucked up. Bad."

"What? What'd you do?"

There was silence on the other end.

"Tay? What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Natalie is pregnant."

"What?" Alex asked. Taylor could hear the disbelief in his voice. "Your ex Natalie?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, Tay. I'm so sorry. Are you sure, though? I mean, has she had a test?"

"I don't know," Taylor replied, "I got a call from her this morning, she asked me to come over to my parent's house as soon as I could. When I got there, her, Zac, Kate - his girlfriend - and my father were just sitting in the living room. They all found out before me. It was like a fucking intervention. It was awful. I just... left. I couldn't deal with it."

"Oh man, that's rough..." Alex said. "I'm so sorry, Tay."

Taylor took another deep breath, trying to fight the rising panic he felt.

"This isn't a dream, is it?" he said softly.

"Do you want me to come visit?" Alex asked. "I could come down there. I got nothing going on the next few days."

"Yeah, could you?" Taylor said, "I can't deal with this. I'm freaking out."

"Sure thing, bud. You know I'm always here for you."

\---

After pacing around the house for a while, Taylor couldn't take it anymore. He had to go somewhere. He grabbed his keys and went outside, getting into his car, unsure where he was going but knowing he needed to get away. Alex managed to book a flight for that evening, but wouldn't get in until 11 p.m. Taylor had hours to kill before he could go pick him up at the airport. He'd put his phone on silent. One look at it told him that his father and Zac had tried to call him numerous times that day already. He wasn't ready to talk to anyone.

He drove around aimlessly, finally ending up at a bar on the outskirts of the city. He went in and immediately ordered a shot of whiskey and a beer. He hoped drinking would help calm his nerves.

The bartender, an attractive older woman, looked at him with an amused look on her face as he took his shot and chased it with the beer.

"How old are you, anyway?" she asked, a well-manicured eyebrow raised.

"19," Taylor said, not even bothering to lie, hoping his pretty-boy looks would allow him a free pass to drink even though he was underage.

The woman shook her head. "You're lucky no one cares out here. Any other bar would kick your ass to the curb."

Taylor sighed. "Look lady, I've had a fucking awful day. Cut me some slack?"

She smiled and poured him another shot. "I already am, hun. What happened?"

"I got my ex pregnant," Taylor said. It felt good to tell someone, even it was a stranger.

The bartender cringed. "Oh, honey. That's rough."

"You can say that again," Taylor muttered, taking the second shot and washing it down with his beer.

The bartender got another customer, and excused herself. Taylor sat at the bar, lost in his thoughts. It didn't take long for him to get really drunk. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and looked at it. It was Michelle. He slowly put it on the bar and watched it ring. Michelle's face stared up at him. He remembered when he had taken that picture of her. It was that day at the beach, when she'd taught him to surf. Tears welled up behind Taylor's eyes, but he took a deep breath and blinked them back. When he thought about telling Michelle about Natalie's pregnancy, he felt the panic set in and it completely seized him and he couldn't breathe. The idea of losing her again was inconceivable. She was everything to him.

The bartender saw Taylor staring at his phone.  
"Girlfriend?" she asked, glancing at the screen. "She's pretty," she noted.

Taylor nodded, looking up at her. "How'd you know?"

"I'm a good guess," the bartender said, then added, "also, the way you were looking at your phone."

Taylor started crying, unable to contain it anymore. "She'll leave me when she finds out," Taylor sobbed. "I don't know what I am going to do,"

His phone rang again. This time it was Alex.

Taylor answered. "Hey Tay, we've landed. Are you on the way?" Alex said.

"What? Already?" Taylor slurred.

"Yeah dude, it's 10:45pm."

Taylor looked at the clock on the wall. He couldn't believe time had passed so fast. He must have had more to drink than he realized.

"Okay, yeah, sorry, yeah. I'm on the way."

Alex heard Taylor slurring. "Tay? Have you been drinking? Where are you? Don't drive. I'll just take a cab."

Taylor stood up, almost falling over into the person sitting next to him.

"Okay, I'm at uh, a bar...what's it called?" he asked, looking over at the bartender.

"Schillers, honey. Whilsire and Aurora Ave."

Taylor repeated that information to Alex then hung up. He slowly climbed back on his stool and asked for another shot. The bartender laughed.

"Nope. You're cut off, babe. Have some water." She said handing him a glass.

Taylor did so, not arguing.

After a while, Alex showed up.

He sat down beside Taylor and turned toward his friend.

"Hey bud. How you doing?"

Taylor saw Alex and immediately hugged him, burying his face in his neck.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said, "you are such a good friend" he slurred.

Alex laughed, gently pushing Taylor back on his stool. He studied Taylor. He'd never seen him so drunk. He looked absolutely devastated, and was drunk as a skunk.

"Let's get you home," he said. Taylor nodded his head vigorously.

"Where are your keys?" Alex asked.

Taylor handed them over with a flourish.

Alex threw some cash on the bar and helped Taylor off his stool.

"Okay buddy, let's go."

Taylor waved to the bartender.

The two walked outside to Taylor's car and got in.

Taylor had the spins. He leaned down and put his head in his lap in a futile effort to contain them.

"How much did you drink, Tay?" Alex asked as he started the car and backed it up out of the driveway.

"I dunno. Maybe a few, uh five shots," Taylor mumbled into his lap.

They drove along for a bit in silence.

"You're not gonna barf, are you?" Alex asked, looking over at his friend with concern.

"No," Taylor slurred, "I can hold my liquor, thank you very very much,"

They stopped at a stop light. Alex looked over at Taylor.

"Are you sure?"

"Where are we?" Taylor said suddenly, sitting up and looking around. "Are we home?"

He reached to open the car door.

"Whoa, Tay! We're not there yet," Alex laughed, reaching over and taking Taylor's hand off the handle.

Taylor made eye contact with Alex, whose face was only inches from his and put his hand on his arm. Alex froze. Then, in an unexpected move, Taylor kissed Alex on the mouth, completely taking Alex by surprise.

Alex sat back in his seat, stunned.

"I should have chose you."

"What?" Alex said, looking at his friend, thinking he'd heard Taylor wrong.

"I should have chose you," Taylor repeated, looking over at Alex. "If I had, none of this would have happened."

Alex didn't know what to say. He knew Taylor was only saying this because he was drunk.

The light turned green and he drove forward.

"Let's just get you home, bud," Alex sighed.

\---

The next morning

Taylor awoke late the next morning with the biggest hangover he could ever remember having in his life.

He slowly got out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen.

Alex sat at the kitchen table on his laptop.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." he joked, "how you feeling?"

"Like I've been run over by a truck," Taylor sighed. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table.

"Your phone's been ringing off the hook all morning," Alex said, handing it to Taylor. "Your dad...Zac...Michelle."

Taylor took the phone and looked at it.

"I'm not ready to talk to anyone," Taylor said, "can't I just pretend this isn't happening?"

Alex smiled sadly. "I think you need to deal with this, Tay. Why don't you call your dad? I can come with you if you want, to talk to him."

Taylor considered that. But Walker was a deeply personal man, he wouldn't allow anyone other than family to discuss something so personal.

"What if I went over there and you stayed here? I just want to talk to Natalie and make sure she actually is pregnant...like, if she got a test or whatever."

"Of course," Alex said. "I can stay as long as you like."

"Okay, here goes nothing," Taylor muttered. He picked up his phone and called his father.

He answered immediately.

"Taylor?"

"Yeah, its me,"

"Son, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Taylor lied. "Can we talk?"

"Of course, son. Come over now?"

"Okay, I'm on the way,"

He pocketed his phone and got up.

"I'm going to go over to my parents house." he said.

"See you soon," Alex said. "Good luck?"

\---

Taylor pulled up to his parents' house with a deep sense of dread.

He put the car on park and killed the engine. He took a deep breath. He slowly took off his seatbelt. He stared ahead, scared at what was inside. He was stalling, he knew it. But he was terrified.

He got out of the car and walked into the house, slowly closing the door behind him.

When he walked into the living room, the scene was the same as it had been the day before; Kate, Natalie were still there, and so was Zac except that now his mother was there.

She got up and immediately hugged him.

"Oh sweetie, everything is going to be okay," she whispered. She lead him over to the couch and she sat down, motioning for him to sit beside her. He did.

Taylor looked around at everyone.

Walker cleared his throat before speaking. "Taylor, thank you for coming back. You're doing the right thing, and I'm proud of you. Natalie and I had a good talk this morning. She is definitely pregnant. She had a test, and it was positive."

Taylor felt his heart sink.

"Okay," he managed to say. "So you're pregnant."

Natalie nodded. "I am. I'm sorry, Taylor."

Taylor took a deep breath. He heard Alex's words echo in his head.

You have to deal with this.

"So, uh, okay...what do we do now?" Taylor asked, looking at his father, and then at Natalie helplessly. Natalie looked down at her lap, clearly embarrassed.

"Well, son I think it's pretty obvious what needs to be done. Natalie and your mother and I discussed this at length this morning. Natalie will graduate in June, isn't that right, honey?" he said, glancing over at Natalie, who nodded. "And then we can make the necessary arrangements for her to move here, to Tulsa with us."

"Wait, what?" Taylor said. "Why would she move here to Tulsa?"

Walker sighed. Clearly his son didn't get it. Diana whispered something to him, and he nodded solemnly.

"Well, Taylor, she'll be having the baby, and we want her to be settled before it comes. Here, with us."

Taylor wasn't following. Why would Natalie move to Tulsa? Her whole family was in Atlanta. Sure, they were having a baby together - Taylor had accepted that, but that didn't mean they had to live together.

He looked at Natalie, confused.

"You want to move here? Why?"

Natalie didn't answer. She just looked over at Walker as if asking for guidance.

Diana looked at her son sadly.

"Baby, I think what your father is saying is that we expect you two to get married as soon as possible."

Taylor just stared at his mother, unsure how to process what she had just said.

"Wait, what?" he finally choked out. "Marry? Uh, no. I'm not marrying Natalie. This is a joke, right? Sure, we're having a baby, but I'm not marrying her!"

\---

Los Angeles

Michelle was starting to get worried. She'd tried to call Taylor numerous times the last couple days, and he hadn't responded, which wasn't like him. She knew he was busy, but he always took the time to send her a quick text.

Michelle had woken up that morning with an unidentified feeling of dread. She had shaken it off, blaming it on the particularly ghastly horror flick she'd watched the night before. But the feeling had followed her throughout the day as she ran her errands, and Taylor not calling her back wasn't making anything any better. She hoped everything was okay, and he wasn't hurt or injured. She decided if he didn't call her back by that evening, she'd call Ike or Zac and see if they could help her get ahold of him.

By that evening, Taylor still hadn't called, and Michelle had gotten really worried. The feeling of dread had grown and she was convinced something was wrong. She decided to call Zac.

She stepped outside the sliding glass door that led to her porch and dialed Zac's familiar number.

He didn't answer on the first try, so she called again.

"Hey...Michelle," Zac said, and right away Michelle could tell something was wrong. Zac sounded...different.

"Hey Z, how are you?" she said, trying to disguise the worry in her voice. If something was wrong, she didn't want Zac to know she suspected something. He may not tell her if he did.

"I'm okay..." he mumbled.

"Uh, have you talked to Taylor today? I've been trying to get ahold of him, and he's not answering. I'm worried."

Zac didn't answer right away. Michelle could hear a female voice in the background talking to him, but couldn't make out what she was saying. Then it sounded like Zac had put his hand over the receiver and they were arguing.

"Uh, Zac? You there?" Michelle asked. Now she was starting to get really worried. Zac was acting really weird. And who was that he was talking to? Kate? And about what? Michelle had the sinking suspicion they were talking about her.

"Yeah, uh sorry Michelle. I was talking to somebody. Yeah, uh haven't seen Tay, actually. I don't know where he is."

Michelle could tell Zac was lying, and she had no idea why.

"Are you sure?" she asked carefully.

"Uh, yeah. But I'll tell him you are trying to reach him, if I uh see him...that is."

"Okay..." Michelle said. "Thanks, Zac."

"No problemo," Zac said, trying to sound as casual as he could, then hung up.

Michelle slowly put the phone on her lap, and stared at it.

Something was definitely up, but she had no idea what.

\---

Tulsa

Taylor and his father had been arguing for the past 20 minutes. It had gotten so ugly, that Zac and Kate had retreated to the kitchen for a breather. The two had been in there for a few minutes when Zac's phone had rang. Zac took it out.

"Who is it?" Kate had asked, peering at the phone in Zac's hand.

Zac's eyes met hers. "Michelle."

It had kept ringing.

"Are you going to answer it?" Kate had asked.

Zac shook his head. "No. I don't know what to say."

Then it had rang again, though it might have been in Zac's head, the ringtone had seemed more shrill, more desperate.

"Michelle is going to be devastated," Zac said quietly.

"I don't think you should answer it," Kate said. "If you do, she'll think something is up. You're a terrible liar. Taylor needs time to process this before he tells her. As much as I think Michelle should know about this as soon as possible, it's really up to Taylor to tell her."

Zac was surprised. He figured Kate would want Michelle to know. Again, he was impressed with Kate's maturity and wisdom beyond her years.

But Zac still wanted to answer the call.

"I'm gonna answer it."

Kate shook her head.

"Don't."

"Hey...Michelle," Zac said.

"Hey Z, how are you?"

"I'm okay..." he knew how fake he sounded.

Zac looked at Kate for guidance. He was now regretting answering her call. He could hear the worry in her voice and he wanted to tell her what was going on. She deserved to know. Kate threw up her hands in exasperation, as if to say I told you not to answer!

Michelle's voice wavered as she asked the next question. Zac's heart hurt for her. He could only imagine how she would feel when she found out what was going on. 

"Uh, have you talked to Taylor today? I've been trying to get ahold of him, and he's not answering. I'm worried."

"Zac!" Kate hissed, "I told you not to answer!,"

"Sorry!" Zac loud-whispered. "I just didn't feel right ignoring her call!"

He covered the receiver with his hand.

"Well you better not tell her!" Kate warned.

"I can't just lie to her, Katie! She's asking about Taylor. What do I say?"

"Nothing," Kate replied quickly, "just tell her you haven't seen him."

Zac just stared at her.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Zac took his hand off the receiver and lifted the phone back to his ear.

"Uh, Zac? You there?"

"Yeah, uh sorry Michelle. I was talking to somebody. Yeah, uh haven't seen Tay, actually. I don't know where he is."

Zac felt terrible lying to Michelle. He hoped his brother would call her soon and tell her what was going on.

Kate listened as Michelle and her boyfriend exchanged a few more words, then Zac hung up the phone, sighing.

"I just feel so bad for her," Zac said quietly.

"I know, babe. Me too."

And for once, Zac believed her. Maybe she didn't dislike Michelle as much as Taylor claimed, Zac thought.

The two sat at the bar, listening to Taylor and Walker argue in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash.

Kate and Zac looked at each other, alarmed, and at the same time, jumped off their stools and went into the living room to see what the source of the noise was.

There stool Taylor in the middle of the living room, a broken statue at his feet. Zac looked down and recognized it: it was the People's Choice Award award they'd won. They kept lots of their awards at their parents house, who proudly displayed them for guests to admire.

Zac looked at Taylor in disbelief.

"You broke our People's Choice Award?"

Kate cringed, glancing over at Diana who just frowned. Kate rushed over to the couch to console Natalie, who had her head on her hands and was crying softly.

"I think it was an accident dear," Diana said softly to Zac, rushing over to carefully pick up the pieces.

"No, I did it purposely," Taylor said brazenly. He stalked over to the archway that led to the door, rudely shoving past Zac and Kate. Zac just stared at Taylor. He'd never seen him this angry. Taylor hastily grabbed his leather jacket from the rack and started to shove his arm into it.

"What does it matter, anyway? Dad said if I don't marry Natalie, he'll disown me and make me drop out of Hanson."

Zac stared at his father in horror.

"Dad...you said that?" he asked in disbelief.

Walker closed his eyes for a moment, as if to gather his thoughts and control his emotions. "That is not exactly what I said. Taylor is upset right now, and I think he misunderstood me."

"I did not 'misunderstand' you," Taylor said angrily, yanking the second arm of his jacket on. Zac heard something rip and cringed. "Go on, dad. Tell Zac what you said!"

Taylor looked at his father expectedly, daring him to repeat the ultimatum he had just given him.

Walker sighed and looked at Zac. "What I said was that Taylor needs to do the right thing. He got her pregnant, and he needs to accept the consequences. I won't have a child born out of wedlock in this family. If they don't get married, I see no choice but to distance myself from him until he can see that this is the only right...the only Christian thing to do."

Zac couldn't believe what he was hearing. Could his father be serious? Would he really disown Taylor if he didn't marry Natalie? Shocked, he sat down on the couch next to Natalie and Kate.

"I am not marrying Natalie, and that is final." Taylor said, "I'm going back to L.A. to be with Michelle,"

"Honey, wait, " Diana said. "Think about this. Why not just give it a night? I'm sure you'll see your dad's side if you think about it more."

"Mom! Jesus, do you not get it? I'm not marrying Natalie! We can have the baby, and I'll support it and her, but I'm not marrying her! I love Michelle, okay? We are going to get married someday."

Natalie wiped away tears and looked up for the first time in a while that evening. She looked at Walker.

"I don't want to marry him anyway! He hates me!" she said angrily.

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true," Walker said, glaring at Taylor.

"It is!" Taylor said, looking right at Natalie. "I do hate you. I wish I'd never met you. In fact, I wish Zac had never met Kate. Because then I would have never met you and gotten into this fucking mess!"

And with that, Taylor stormed out, slamming the door so loud behind him that everyone winced. 

Natalie stared at him as he walked out, shocked at his outburst and the hostility behind his words. She jumped off the couch and fled to the bathroom, sobbing and slamming the door behind her. Kate ran after her.

"Good job dad," Zac said sarcastically as he got up and grabbed his wallet and keys from the coffee table.

"Where are you going?" Walker asked.

"Where do you think?" he said, running after Taylor.

Walker closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. His head throbbed from the stress of the situation. Diana walked over and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, honey. He'll come around." she said.

He looked at his wife and smiled sadly.

"I hope, for her sake, he does."


	18. "Tuesday Morning"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taylor decides to make a tough decision, and gives Michelle a call. Michelle gets some surprising news.

  
-  
Please don't drive me home tonight  
'cause I don't want to go  
Tuesday morning  
In the dark  
I was finding out  
Who you are  
-  


March 2002

Tulsa - a week later

Isaac and Taylor's apartment

Taylor sat in his bedroom looking at photos of him and Michelle. It had been a week since Taylor found out that Natalie was pregnant and, needless to say, he still trying to absorb all this information. He hadn't returned Michelle's calls. He didn't know what to tell her. A few days ago, Taylor was a normal 19 year-old boy who had everything going for him, he and his brothers were embarking on a new journey in starting their own recording company. They were in the process of finishing up of their third studio album. On top of that Taylor had found the girl of his dreams only to lose her now.

Taylor had fought with his father all week. Walker continued to insist that Taylor marry Natalie, and Taylor continued to refuse to do so. Walker had reminded Taylor that he technically owned a big part of their band, since Zac was still a minor. He made it clear that if Taylor didn't marry Natalie, he'd disband Hanson and also disown him as his son.

Taylor knew he had to call Michelle to tell her their relationship was over. It was going to be the hardest conversation he'd had yet to have. It was the one phone call Taylor never wanted to make in his life. Taylor loved Michelle so much, but he knew deep down that he couldn't allow his father to disband Hanson, because the band meant so much to his brothers and him. He couldn't do that to his brothers. Taylor would have to sacrifice his own happiness for them, and that was fine. Hanson was something they had built since they were little kids. Taylor couldn't lose his father, either.

If it were up to Taylor, he would have left the band in order to stay with Michelle, but he knew that his brothers wouldn't stand for that, because the band has always been about them three. Also the fans may not follow them anymore if Taylor decided to leave the band, since he was considered the "heartthrob" of the group - a title he loathed so much. He knew he had to "take one for the team."

Taylor kept looking through the photos, until one photo in particular caught his attention. It was a photo of Michelle smiling at the camera. It was the photo he had taken of Michelle the night they first made love during their romantic weekend getaway in Vermont. Taylor couldn't help but smile as he remembered that night so vividly like it was yesterday. Michelle had told him she loved him and Taylor remembered feeling so elevated, because Michelle felt the same way he had.

Now none of that mattered, he thought bitterly. Because he was being forced to marry a girl he didn't love or he would lose his band and his relationship with his father. It was an awful situation.

Taylor is so deep in his thoughts he didn't notice Isaac standing there outside his door, until he heard a soft knock.

"Tay? Can I come in?" Ike asked.

"Sure," Taylor said indifferently.

Isaac walked into the room and noticed the picture of Michelle that Taylor was staring at.

"That's a beautiful picture of her." Isaac told Taylor with all sincerity.

"Thanks, it's not like she could ever take a bad photo anyway. She's that beautiful." Taylor told his brother as he continued to stare at Michelle's photo, getting so lost in her smile. He couldn't believe he was about to call her and break up with her. He had chosen to do it that way, because he knew he didn't have the strength to do it in person.

"Have you told her yet?" Isaac asked.

Taylor stopped gazing at the photo of Michelle and turned to face his brother.

"No, I haven't. To tell you the truth Ike, I don't even know if I can."

"Tay, you have to tell her the truth, because if you don't dad will disband us and Tay I don't know about you, but the band is everything to me and to Zac as well. You can't do that to us. We worked so hard to get where we're at right now and I'm sorry man, but I am not about to let you ruin that for us. Your night of drunken sex with your ex could ruin everything for us. Zac would never forgive you for that either would I."

Taylor stared at Isaac coldly. He couldn't believe what his brother had just said to him.

"Wow, thanks Ike for throwing it in my face!" Taylor said. "I wish it had been you! You have sex with groupies all the time and the one time, I have sex with some girl and I ending up getting her pregnant!"

"Well, it's the truth, look man, I'm so sorry that you're in this situation, but you have no one to blame but yourself. You chose to have sex with Natalie."

"The only reason, I slept with Natalie was because I was devastated, I was drunk! Because I thought I had lost Michelle forever." Taylor said trying to plead his case.

"So what? You still slept with her and you got her pregnant. Now you have to live with the consequences of your actions. That baby isn't to blame for any of this, Tay. He or she is innocent in all of this. You own it to that baby to step up as his or her father." Isaac said in a reasoning voice.

"You don't think I know that! I never said I wouldn't be there for my child, because I will be! I just don't want to get married to Natalie, because I'm not in love with her. I'm in love with Michelle! Michelle is the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with, Ike! I can't let her go, I love her too much to do that!"

"I know you do Tay, but this isn't about you and your feelings anymore. This is about our band and what dad will do to it if you don't do what he has ordered you to do. It's not right or fair to me and Zac and you know that!"

Isaac continued...

"I feel for you man, believe me, I know how much you love Michelle. I love her, too. She's basically my best friend. I wish things could be different for you guys, but unfortunately that's not the case here. You need to end things with her soon, because it's not right for you to keep stringing her on like this."

Taylor looked at picture of Michelle again.

"How am I supposed to do that, Ike? Michelle is everything to me...without her I feel so empty. How am I supposed to let her go? What am I supposed to say?" Taylor asked his older brother with such sadness in both his eyes and voice.

"I don't know, man. I don't know." Isaac said sympathetically.

\---

Michelle's apartment in West Hollywood

Michelle was currently trying to work on a song that she wanted to put on her upcoming album, but she still hadn't found her muse. She was distracted. It had been a week and Taylor still hadn't called her back. She was beyond worried. It was becoming frustrating to her, because the record label was pushing her more and more to start working on new material for the upcoming album, and she still didn't have any.

Michelle feared she wasn't going to be able to come up with any new material soon and that her label would drop her as a result of that.

Michelle decided to take a break for a bit to recollect herself. She put down her guitar. Her eyes wandered to the photograph that was sticking onto her vanity mirror.

She went up to her dresser and removed the photograph that was sticking to the mirror. Once she had in her hands she looked at it and smiled.

The photo was of Taylor sleeping, on one of the many nights he had spent the night with her. She took this picture one morning just as the sun was coming up, she thought he looked so handsome and peaceful in his sleep that she knew she had to document it.

Michelle smiled as she looked at the photo. She missed Taylor dearly, it had been almost two weeks, since the last time she saw him. She missed the late nights they would have playing music together or taking a midnight stroll through the neighborhood. She definitely missed the nights where they would become intimate and fall asleep holding one another feeling so content as if they were last two people on earth.

Michelle hoped Taylor would come to visit her soon, or he would at least call her, quite frankly it scared her not to hear from him.

Suddenly Michelle heard her cell phone going off and she went to answer it. She saw that it was Taylor and she happily took the call.

"Hey, you!" She says with a beaming smile upon her face. "I'm so glad to hear from you!'

"Hi, babe." Taylor answered back in a quiet voice.

"I was beginning to think that you forget about me." Michelle said in a jokingly manner.

"Sorry, it just I've been busying with...uh, buying the studio space and getting everything in order. Trust me when I say this to you that no one or anything would ever make me forget about you Michelle." Taylor said with all sincerity.

"Okay. I was just joking with you, Tay."

"Yeah, I know, but you know how much I love you right?" Taylor asked her earnestly. He knew he was about to break her heart, and he wanted to make sure she knew how much he loved her.

"Yeah, I do." Michelle answered him back with a worried tone in her voice, for she is afraid of what he'll tell her next.

"I'll never love another girl the way I love you, ever. You're everything to me, Michelle and you always will be." Taylor said simply.

"Tay, you really starting to scare me...what's going on?" Michelle asked. She felt a knot forming the pit of her stomach, and the feeling of dread returned. Something was wrong. Why was Taylor saying these things? It sounded like he was trying to say goodbye.

Michelle could hear Taylor take a deep breath before speaking. "Listen, there is a reason why it took me awhile to get in touch with you and after thinking things through, I come to the realization that I think we should break up."

There was silence on the line as his words sunk in.

"What? Michelle asked, shocked. "You think we should...break up? Why?"

"Michelle, you were right all along in regards to our dating situation. We both are living separate lives. You got your career and I got mine and we both have worked so hard to get where we are at now. No matter how hard we try, it's just not going to work." Taylor said pretending to be frustrated where in reality it was killing me to say those words to the girl he loved. He felt like he was going to throw up.

"Why are you saying this now? You always said we would and could make it work and we are. Why are you pushing me away? What are you not telling me Taylor?" Michelle asked in pleading voice for she knew something wasn't right.

Taylor knew Michelle could read him very easily, she was perhaps the only person who get him to open up to her about anything. As much he wanted to tell her the truth he couldn't. Not because he was afraid of his father, but because he knew if he told her the truth, she would never trust in him again and perhaps would hate him forever. The thought of losing her was already killing him, but the thought of her hating him that was something he couldn't bear to live with.

"Tay, what's going on really? Please tell me whatever it is...we can work it out, I love you." Michelle said, her voice shaking.

"It's not that simple Michelle, believe me if it was, I wouldn't do this, but I can't keep pretending everything is going to be fine, when it's not......"

"What you mean by that? You're not making any sense, Taylor!"

"Michelle, I just think you deserve better than I can offer you." Taylor said, swallowing hard to keep from crying.

"Taylor, nothing will ever be "better" if I don't have you. I love you more than anything in this world. I can't lose you, Tay. I can't."

"I love you too, never doubt that, but sometimes love isn't enough. I can't keep pretending things are going to be all right, when they aren't going to be. I love you too much to do that to you! I have to let you go, it kills me to do this, but this isn't going to work. Go and be happy. I wish you the very best in your music and in your life." Taylor said as hot tears welled up behind his eyes, threatening to spill over and ruin his resolve.

Michelle now had tears streaming down her face after hearing those words. She continued to plead with him.

"Tay, please don't do this! You swore to me that we could make this work! I trusted in you! Please don't leave me!" Michelle sobbed.

It broke Taylor's heart to hear Michelle's tearful pleads. He wanted nothing more than to tell her he was wrong and he'd be on the first flight to L.A. to be with her, but he knew he couldn't do that.

"I'm so sorry Michelle. I love you and I always will no matter what. I have to go. Goodbye." Taylor whispered into the phone.

He ended the call then and there, because he couldn't stand to hear her sobs anymore. It hurt him too much. He threw his phone across the room.

"FUCK!' he yelled, punching the wall. He looked down at his hand. His knuckles were bloodied.

Isaac ran into the room and saw his brother standing there, crying and staring at his bloody hand, and he immediately enveloped him in a tight hug.

"Oh, Tay. I'm so sorry." Isaac muttered.

Taylor angrily pushed Isaac off him and grabbed the photograph of Michelle he was staring at before and looked at it again.

"I'm so sorry, my love." Taylor said to the photograph as his fingers gently traced the outlines of Michelle's face.

Isaac then watched silently as Taylor then lay down on his bed and hugged the photograph to his chest as he silently sobbed. Taylor had lost everything that was dear to him, Michelle and the life he dreamed of having alongside her.

He felt completely empty, and couldn't imagine how anything could ever be okay for him again.

\---

Michelle's Apartment

After her phone call with Taylor had ended, Michelle went into her room as cried. She was still trying to process what just happened. An hour ago, she had everything she could ever dream of; the boy of her dreams and they were in love and were so happy together. At least she thought they were. She didn't understand why Taylor broke up with her in the way he did. She wondered if she had done something wrong? Did he not love her anymore despite the fact he said he did? This all so confusing to her that all she was left with now were unanswered questions and a broken heart.

Michelle closed the curtains of her room and cried herself to sleep.

\---

April 2002 - a month later

Ike and Taylor's Apartment

Tulsa

It had a month since his break-up with Michelle and Taylor was in a foul mood as of late. He didn't want to talk or see anybody. When he and his brothers were done working on the documentary, or the record, or the studio space, he retreated to his bedroom and only came out when he was going out to a bar at night. Everyone was worried about him, Zac especially.

Michelle left many messages on Taylor's cellphone, but Taylor never listened to them, because it would break his heart to hear her broken hearted voice pleading to please call her back. He would just immediately delete them. Taylor wished he could call Michelle back and tell her he made a mistake and he wanted to get back together with her and he'll be on the first plane out to L.A. and he was going to stay there with her in L.A. from now on, but Taylor knew he couldn't do that.

Walker was still insisting that Natalie and Taylor get engaged. Taylor refused. After a few days, Natalie had gone back to Atlanta. She still had to finish high school. Walker wanted them to get married in June, after she graduated from high school, and then move in with him and Isaac. Taylor could do the math. She'd be four months pregnant on their wedding day.

Taylor felt such resentment towards his parents, his brothers and Natalie, because they hadn't given him much of a choice. But as angry as he was with them, the person Taylor was most angry with was himself for making such a stupid mistake.

A day didn't go by where Taylor didn't think about that if he had stayed sober and listened to Zac that night in Atlanta, he wouldn't have slept with Natalie and wouldn't have gotten her pregnant. He'd have to live with that regret forever.

It was just another evening and Taylor was so lost in his thoughts, but was taken out them when he heard a knock on his door.

"Tay?" It was Ike......

"What?" Taylor said harshly.

"Mom's here, she wants to see you. Come on out." Isaac said through the closed door.

"I don't feel like seeing anybody, Ike. Tell her that I'll call her later."

"Tay, stop being such an asshole, and come out here and see mom. She is desperate to talk to you. She's really worried about you."

Taylor sighed and got up from his bed and opened the door.

Isaac took a look at this brother and noticed Taylor's state of attire and mind.

"Dude, you look like hell......" Ike casually remarked.

"Shut up man!" Taylor snapped back rudely.

Taylor walked past Isaac and into the living room and saw his mother standing there. When she turned to face him, he saw the worried look on her face.

Diane saw the state her son was in and her heart broke into pieces knowing he was hurting over the loss of his relationship with Michelle. She noticed that Taylor looked thinner than usual and that he hadn't shaved and that he reeked of cigarettes and alcohol.

Neither of them said a word for a few seconds, and just stood there, until Ike decided to chime in as he casually walked towards the front door.

"Well, I'm off to see a friend and then I'm going to stop by the studio to help Zac move some new equipment in. Hopefully we'll see you there Tay, if you ever stop wallowing in your own self-pity." Isaac told his younger brother in a cold manner, slamming the door behind him.

Taylor looked annoyed. Wanting to get this visit over with, he decided to cut to the chase.

"So what brings you by mom? Did dad send you to come over?" he asked coldly.

Diana was silent, because she can't believe how cold her son is being.

"Well, you go and tell him that I did what he asked of me. I broke things off with Michelle. I think it's safe to say she'll never want anything to do with me, considering the way I ended things with her."

"You told her the truth?" Diane asked, surprised.

"No, I didn't tell her about Natalie being pregnant. I just told her that things weren't going to work out with us in regards our careers and the distance between us and it wasn't fair to her to in a relationship like that."

"How did she take it?" Diana asked curiously.

"She was devastated, Mom. You should have heard her voice, she sounded so hurt. I hurt her so badly." Taylor said.

"You did what you had to do sweetie, in time you'll see that she'll be fine. You'll be fine. Everything is going to be okay." Diana said, trying to sound positive. "You know, your dad and I were young too when we had Ike and everything turned out fine."

"No, it won't be. Michelle was everything to me, Mom. I would have given up everything just to be with her." Taylor said with conviction in his voice.

"Including the band that you and your brothers worked tooth and nail to put together and the success all three of you have worked so hard for? Taylor, music has always been your dream ever since you were a little boy along with your brothers, do you really think you could give that up so easily just for some girl?" Diana asked.

"Michelle isn't just some girl, Mom! She's the girl I love, she's my soulmate. I wouldn't give up music completely to be with her. Music is what brought her and I together. We both have the same love and passion for music, she would never ask me to give it up, because she knows it's a part of me whether I'm in Hanson or not. Just like music is part of her as well. If anything we would have gotten married and raised our kids on the open road just like we were raised. It may not have been "your standard normal life", but then again nothing about me or Michelle is "normal" and that would have been okay, just as long as we were together and were happy."

"I didn't realize it was that serious," Diana said softly.

"We were, Mom. We were planning a life together and all sudden it got taken from us. I know I have no one to blame but myself and that I have a responsibility to Natalie and my child, but this isn't the life I wanted for myself. You need to know that."

"Do you think this is the life your father and I wanted for you? We want more for you Taylor, and I'm not going to lie to you when I say I'm disappointed in you. Your father and I feel like we failed you. Like we didn't lead you on the right path."

"Mom....." Taylor began to say, until Diana cut him off.

"No, let me finish. We should been there for you more, maybe then you wouldn't have made such an error in judgment. You may be 19 and you think you have all the answers, but you don't. In reality you are still a young boy, who should never gotten into such a serious relationship in the first place. I glad you found Michelle, believe I am, but I think you and her moved too fast that one of the reasons that it leaded to your "break". During that time you're hurting and you were vulnerable and you weren't thinking straight that's when your father and I should have stepped in, but we didn't and now here you are on the brink of becoming a father at 19."

"Mom, I'm the only one to blame here okay? You did your job in raising me, my choices have nothing to do with your parenting okay?" Taylor said.

"So you know what you have to do then right?" Diana asked. "You have to marry her."

"Mom, I don't love her. I care for Natalie and you know I'll be true to my word that I'll be there for her and my child, but please don't force me to marry her. It's going to end badly for us, because either of us will be truly happy together. I don't want that kind life for her, or for our child." Taylor said. "Honestly, Mom she deserves better. Natalie didn't ask for any of this either."

"Taylor, you need to do this, because if you don't your father will never speak to you again. I know you say you don't care, but you will in the end. People may come in and out your life Taylor, but in the end you will only have one father. He's been there for you all of your life, do not shut him out now. I know he loves you and you love him. My heart will be broken if you two decide to go to war with one another. I love you both so much, please do what he asks of you. I know it's not fair, but that's just the way it is" Diana said.

"Mom, I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to fight with dad, but he is being unreasonable, you know that. This isn't his life, it's my life! I should have a choice in regards to who I want to spend the rest of my life with and how I chose to live my life." Taylor said. "I'm an adult."

"Taylor, please just do what your father asks of you. I don't ask for much, but all I wanted in my life is peace within my family. That will not happen if you and your father are at odds, so please I'm begging you do what is expected of you. I promise you it will be alright. Natalie will be a good wife to you. She loves you, I can tell."

Taylor took one look into his mother's eyes and saw the sadness and hurt in them and his guilt started to eat away at him. He knew he is the reason why his mother is in pain, in order to stop the hurt within his family he must do what is expected of him despite the fact he knew he would be miserable.

"Okay, fine." Taylor said, surprising his mother. "The only condition I have is that nobody I mean nobody ever tells Michelle the truth why I am marrying Natalie. Make sure you tell dad and everybody else that too."

"I'll make sure to tell everybody that." Diana said, nodding her head.

Diane hugged her son and whispered these words to him.

"You're doing the right thing, Tay." Diana said in a reassuring voice.

Taylor didn't say anything back.

\---

May 2002

May 2002

West Hollywood-Michelle's Apartment

It had been almost two months since Taylor had broken up with Michelle and needless to say things weren't going well. Michelle was left completely heartbroken over the break up. She still couldn't quite understand why Taylor ended things the way he did. Michelle often wondered if she had done something to initiate the break-up. She blamed herself. All Michelle could go back on is the break she suggested for them to take back in February. She knew that time apart had hurt Taylor very badly, but she honestly thought he was over it the minute she arrived at his apartment in Tulsa and told him she thought things through and wanted to get back together. She remembered look on his face when she said those words to him, he was so happy just like she was that they were giving their relationship another try.

Obviously she had been wrong, because Taylor ended things with her a month later and now two months after their break-up, Michelle had not seen him or heard from him. Or Isaac or Zac for that matter. She called him many times leaving him messages begging him to please call her back and that she wanted to work things out with him, but in the end Taylor never called her back. Michelle felt so hurt, it was almost like he was avoiding her and he had forgotten what they had shared.

But that wasn't the only thing that was troubling Michelle, if her suspicions were true, then Michelle would a bigger problem on her hands.

Michelle took out a small package box that was sitting on top her dresser. She read the instructions in regards to what she had to do. After reading the instructions, Michelle sighed.

"Here goes nothing." She said in a shaky voice, as she walked into the bathroom with the little box in her hand and closed the door behind her.

A few minutes later, Michelle was nervously pacing around her room, waiting to hear the timer on her watch beep.

"This has got to be the three most longest minutes of my life." Michelle said to herself feeling nervous.

Eventually the timer on her watch went off indicating time was up.

Michelle went into her bathroom and walked over to the counter and gently picked up the little stick she peed on earlier.

She saw a positive sign on the stick, which indicated the one thing Michelle was afraid of.

"No, no, no, no, this can't be right. I can't be.......No, this has to be a mistake." Michelle kept saying not wanting to deal with the reality of her situation.

"Get a grip, Michelle, these tests aren't always right. I need to go see a doctor, only then will I know for sure if I am indeed......." she continued to talk to herself, trying to calm her nerves.

Michelle couldn't bring herself to say the word, because that's how afraid she was.

\---

The next morning

Michelle currently sat in the waiting room at her doctor's office and waiting to get seen. After what seemed like an eternity, she was finally called in.

Michelle seated herself on the exam table in the room as she patiently waited for her doctor to come in. After a few minutes her doctor finally came into the room and greeted her warmly.

"Good morning, Michelle......"

"Good morning Dr. Lee, thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice......" Michelle said nervously.

"It's no trouble, so what can I do for you hon?" Dr. Lee asked.

"I'm so embarrassed to ask this, but I was wondering if you could run a test on me?" Michelle asked timidly.

"Okay, what kind of test?"

"A pregnancy one." Michelle said feeling so ashamed. She felt like Dr. Lee was judging her.

"Do you think you could be pregnant?" Dr. Lee asked.

Michelle hesitated to answer.

Dr. Lee sensing Michelle's fears, grabbed a hold of one of Michelle's hands and gently squeezed it.

"Sweetie, I'm not here to judge you okay? But you need to tell me everything in order for me to properly diagnose you and from then on see what I can do for you, okay? Dr. Lee said in a professional and reassuring manner.

Michelle nodded her head in response.

"Okay, when was your last period?"

"About two months ago. I missed my period in April, but I didn't really think it was a big deal, because sometimes I skipped a period when I was growing up so I thought it wasn't nothing. But it didn't come this month either and it had me worried. Plus I've been feeling sick and tired lately. I've been having these weird cravings too. All of this made me think that I could be pregnant, since these are common symptoms a pregnant woman has." Michelle nervously rambled on.

Dr. Lee was writing all this down in Michelle's chart.

"Okay, this may be a personal question, but I need you to answer it in order for me to determine the possibility that you could be pregnant okay?"

"All right ask away!"

"When was the last time you were sexually active?" Dr. Lee asked.

Michelle had a quick flashback to the last night she and Taylor made love, which was the night before he flew back home to Tulsa and that was almost in mid March.

"In mid March my boyfriend spent a couple of days with me and we slept together before he flew back home for some personal reasons." Michelle stated.

"Okay, I see. I'm assuming you took a home pregnancy test and the results were positive right?" Dr. Lee asked.

"Yes."

Dr. Lee wrote some more notes in Michelle's chart.

"Okay, we will do both a urine and a blood test to determine to see if indeed you're pregnant."

"Okay." Michelle said.

"Okay, the nurse will get you ready and I'll be back shortly." Dr. Lee said as she stepped out.

The nurse walked in and told Michelle she needed to change into a gown and after she was done getting changed she would need to pee in a tube bottle and afterwards the nurse told her she was going to draw some blood out her. Everything would be fast and painless she promised.

An half hour later Michelle was getting changed back into her clothes and waiting for Dr. Lee to come back.

"Okay, Michelle I put a rush on your both blood work and urine test, I should have the results by later this afternoon. Okay?"

"Okay. What do I do until then?" Michelle asked.

"Just go home and try to relax okay? I know that concept seems foreign to you right now, but believe it's the best you can do. Don't make any decisions until you hear the results from me okay? From then on, we'll see where we'll go from there okay sweetie?" Dr. Lee said in a caring manner.

"Okay, thank you again Dr. Lee." Michelle said as she got up from her seat and walked towards the lobby of the clinic.

\---

A few hours later-Michelle's Apartment

Michelle was in her room looking at photos of her and Taylor trying to remember the happy times that she shared with him. Michelle was still hurting from her break up with Taylor, but she was more worried than hurt, because if it turned out she was indeed pregnant this changed everything for her and Taylor. She had no idea how he would react to this possible news considering the fact she hadn't heard from him in two months.

Her cellphone rang and Michelle got up and grabbed it and saw it was her doctor's office. She nervously took the call.

"Hello?" she said in a shaking voice.

"Michelle? Hi, it's Dr. Lee. I'm just calling to let you know that the results of your tests came back."

This was it the moment of truth.

"And?" Michelle asked nervously.

"And the results came back positive. Congratulations Michelle you're pregnant." Dr. Lee said.

Michelle had to grabbed onto the dresser to hold herself up, because she felt like her legs were about to give out on her considering the shocking news she just received.

"I'm pregnant?" Michelle asked in disbelieving voice.

"Yes, you're about close to 8 weeks along." Dr. Lee said in matter a fact tone of voice.

"Thank you for your help Dr. Lee." Michelle graciously said.........

"The pleasure was mine dear. I recommend that you met with O.B.G.Y.N. I can refer you to an excellent one who is a collage of mine at the hospital. It is very crucial you set up appointments as soon as possible in order for doctor to monitor yours and the baby's health and the baby's development." Dr. Lee rambled on.

This was too much for Michelle to hear and handle then. For she just wanted to escape this reality she found herself in.

"With all due respect Dr. Lee, I can't think of that right now. I'm still processing this information and I need to see what I'm going to do exactly." Michelle said her voice filled with fear and anxiety.

Sensing the fear in Michelle's voice, Dr. Lee knew she jumped the gun a little too soon and immediately felt horrible for hammering Michelle with this much information considering the poor girl just got life changing news and she had big decisions to make now.

"Yes, a course dear, take your time in processing this. The only thing I will leave with is this, you have a little life growing inside of you now and if you plan on keeping your baby in my professional opinion you need to assessed yourself with the proper medical care as soon as possible okay?" Dr. Lee said hoping Michelle would listen to her words.

"Okay." Michelle said still feeling shocked.

After ending her call with Dr. Lee, Michelle put her cell phone back down on the dresser. She noticed a picture of her and Taylor was lying aimlessly on her bed. Michelle went to pick that picture up and looked at it. It was a photo of her and Taylor outside the Staples Center during their first date when they went to go see U2 in concert.

"How, am I going to do this? How I'm going to tell you that I'm pregnant with your child?" Michelle said to the photograph of her and Taylor as she stared at it.

\---

June 2002

It had been nearly almost three weeks, since Michelle had found out she was pregnant with Taylor's baby and she still didn't know what to do. She continued to try to get in touch with Taylor, and she left messages on his phone and on Isaac and Zac's phones too, but either Taylor or his brothers returned her calls.

Michelle was beginning to think Taylor had forgotten all about her and he wanted nothing to do with her now. He didn't even want a friendship with her now which scared her, because if these were his still feelings towards her now, then really dreaded the fact she would have to tell him she was pregnant with his child not knowing what his reaction would be.

Michelle made a decision then: if she didn't hear back from Taylor in two days, then she would fly out to Tulsa to see him face to face. She knew he had a right to know about her pregnancy and he needed to hear the news from her directly.

Michelle didn't feel like going out that night, so she decided she would stay in and watch some T.V. to kill the time.

Michelle turned on the T.V. and flipped through the channels and eventually set into watching "Entertainment Tonight", she wasn't really into those gossipy shows, but there was nothing else on that was worth watching, so she settled for it.

Michelle aimlessly watched the show and it was the same old crap as usual, which celebrities got in trouble with the law, which celebrities were hooking up with one another etc. etc. Michelle was about to change the channel when all sudden Taylor's picture came up with the headline saying "Middle Brother of Boy Band Hanson got hitched." Michelle now turned her attention completely what was transcribed on her T.V. screen.

"That's right ladies. Taylor Hanson, the middle brother of the talented boy group Hanson is off the market. He got married a few days ago to his 18-year old girlfriend Natalie Bryant."

"What?" Michelle gasped loudly. She continued to watch the TV screen, eyes wide.

"ET sat down with the couple yesterday to talk about the happy nuptials and how they came to be."

"I basically got down on one knee and told her that "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you" and needless to say she didn't say "no." Taylor said in the interviewer.

Michelle couldn't believe what she was seeing and hearing.

"I knew when I was walking down that aisle that Taylor was the one for me and we're going to be so happy together. And we are." Natalie said.

"So are you two really in love?" The interviewer asked.

"Well, we wouldn't have gotten married if we weren't in love." Taylor said casually.

Michelle had tears swelling up in her eyes as she continued to watch the interview.

"Well congrats to you both then." The interviewer said.

"Thank you!" both Taylor and Natalie said back.

The interview ended and the TV switched back to the host of ET.

"If that wasn't enough, congrats also got out to the happy couple as Hanson and his new bride are awaiting the arrival of their child that's due this fall."  
Taylor makes  
In that moment Michelle felt like she had been punched in the gut. She turned off the TV. She went over to her couch and lied down as she processed this freshly raw information.

It all made sense now, why Taylor was acting weird all this time. He had slept with Natalie during their "break" and he had kept that secret from her thinking it didn't matter, because he never thought Natalie would end up being pregnant with his child. The minute he found out though, Michelle figured he thought he had to step up to his responsibility, especially considering the fact she knew how strict and religious his parents were. Despite feeling the way she did right now, Michelle in some odd way understood why Taylor did what he did, but what she couldn't understand was why he feel the need to lie to her about. If he had told her the truth, they could have worked things out. She wasn't going to judge him or Natalie considering the fact she herself was in similar situation now.

"What am I going to do now?" Michelle asked herself as she cried herself to sleep feeling so hurt and alone.


	19. "Empty Handed"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle has a conversation with Alex about Taylor, and decides to go talk to him in person. Michelle has a confrontation with Walker.

  
-  
Here I am take me  
It's easier to give in  
Some people mistake me  
They only hear what they want to hear  
If you're losing sleep  
Forgive me  
I just can't keep pretending  
-  


July 2002

Michelle's Apartment in West Hollywood

It had been nearly a month since Michelle had found out about Taylor marrying Natalie. Needless to say the news still felt very raw to her. Michelle had blamed herself for her and Taylor's breakup until she saw the news coverage of Taylor's shotgun wedding to Natalie. Ever since then Michelle didn't blame herself so much, because she now knew that the reason why Taylor had married Natalie in the way he had was because he had knocked her up. Knowing his parents like Michelle did, she figured they had forced him to end things with her and to marry Natalie as soon as possible, to avoid a scandal considering the "wholesome image" Hanson had in the public eye.

Michelle still couldn't understand why Taylor had felt the need to lie to her about Natalie's pregnancy. Sure, she would still be hurt by his confession about sleeping with Natalie on their break, but she would have found a way to move past his betrayal and work things out with him, because that's how much she loved him. A part of Michelle still hoped he could be a father to his child and still be with her, have a family with her - but she was starting to accept that Taylor had chosen Natalie over her. The fact that he had lied to Michelle about it and deceived her in the way he had...she couldn't get past that. Taylor played her for a fool and Michelle didn't take that too lightly. The more time that passed, the angrier Michelle got at Taylor and the more she felt sure that she was better off alone. She felt he'd majorly mishandled the situation.

Michelle never planned on falling in love, because she was afraid to, but that had all changed the day she met Taylor. The minute she locked eyes with him in that boardroom, she had been lost in him that from point on. She couldn't run away from what she felt for him, nor did she want to. Taylor had been the only guy who managed to break through the walls Michelle had put up around her. Taylor opened Michelle's heart and mended it. Michelle had trusted in Taylor completely, but she had been wrong. Taylor had hurt her in the worst possible way. The fact that he thought she wouldn't find out about his marriage and pregnancy made no sense to Michelle. She now found it impossible to believe in anybody. She didn't know if she could ever trust a boy again.

Michelle was lounging in her room, half heartedly strumming on her guitar and was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear her phone ringing until she heard a familiar voice come through the speaker of her answering machine.

"Hey, Michelle it's Alex, I guess you're not home right now........

Michelle was taken quickly out her thoughts when she heard Alex's voice, and she picked the phone quickly.

"Hello? Alex?"

"Hey! Michelle! Long time no talk. I hope I'm not calling you at bad time," Alex said. "I tried your cell first, but you didn't answer so I thought I'd try your home phone."

"No, not at all, it's great to hear from you! What's up?" Michelle asked, putting her guitar down and settling back on her bed's headboard.

Michelle missed all her friends she'd met through Taylor - Alex, Marit, Marion, Zac, even Kate, but Isaac mostly. Michelle had spoken to him since the breakup, but only briefly. It had hurt Michelle's feelings that he never called her, but now she knew why. She tried not to take it personally. Obviously Taylor had asked him not to contact her, and she understood. Even though Ike had been a close friend of hers, Taylor was, after all, his brother.

"Well, I don't know if you know this, but Taylor and his brothers are back in L.A."

Michelle raised her eyebrow in curiosity. She felt her heart jump at the mere mention of Taylor's name, then silently cursed herself.

"Really?" She asked, trying to sound casual. "Why?

"Apparently, they're working with a new management company and still trying to get their album finished."

Michelle was surprised to hear this news. After everything they'd been through, she was surprised to find out they were giving it another shot.

This was her chance to talk to Taylor and tell him about her pregnancy. Michelle knew Taylor deserved to know the truth about her pregnancy. She was going to do the right thing and tell him. It wasn't fair to him to keep him the dark about this.

"Are they working in the same studio?"

"Yup," Alex replied. "That's what Taylor told me at least. He wants to get together. To be honest, I was surprised to hear from him. He hasn't returned my calls for months."

"He won't call me back either," Michelle said, laughing bitterly. "Good to know it's not just me he's ignoring."

"Yeah...Taylor told me you two broke up? He didn't say why, though." Alex said. "I was really sorry to hear that."

Alex figured it was because of Natalie's pregnancy, but didn't mention it, because he didn't know if Michelle knew. Taylor had begged him to not tell her, and though Alex felt wrong about it, he'd agreed.

Knowing Taylor had kept Alex, arguably his best friend, in the dark about his marriage and unplanned pregnancy made Michelle feel a bit better, but not much.

"Oh, Taylor didn't tell you the good news?" she asked sarcastically.

Alex could sense bitterness in Michelle's voice.

"No...what good news?"

"Our very own Taylor got his ex pregnant and then married her. Back in June."

"Wait, what?!" Alex said, the surprise clearly evident in his voice. "I knew about the pregnancy, but not about them getting married...wow."

"Yeah, wow right? Wait, you knew?"

Alex sighed. "Yeah, he told me when he found out. I went down to Tulsa to be with him. He was a mess. It got ugly with his parents. I stayed a couple days, but then I had to go back home."

"That's okay," Michelle said, "I understand."

"So that would explain why he broke up with you," Alex said quietly. He felt really bad for Michelle. "How'd you find out?"

"Entertainment Tonight," Michelle said simply.

Alex shook his head at Taylor's stupidity - if Michelle not knowing about what had happened had been so important to him, Alex didn't understand why he would agree to do a public interview about it.

"I'm really sorry, Michelle. If it helps, I know this isn't what Taylor wanted. The pregnancy wasn't planned. He always wanted to be with you. He was crazy about you. I'm sure he still wants to be with you, but is just trying to make the best of the situation."

"Thanks, Alex." Michelle sighed.

It was nice to talk to someone who cared about Taylor as much as she did and who understood how much it hurt to be completely cut out of his life.

"Are you going to go talk to him?" Alex asked.

"Yeah...we have some unfinished business to discuss."

Alex thought she was referring to being lied to about Natalie's pregnancy, but only Michelle knew she was referring to her own pregnancy.

"I think that's a good idea. Let me know how it goes?" Alex asked.

"I will," Michelle replied, "Bye Alex. It was great hearing from you."

"You two, Michelle. Take care."

Michelle hung up the phone, intent on going and talking to Taylor in person.

\---

Flashback----May

Michelle sat nervously at her mother's kitchen table, sipping tea. Her mother always made her tea when she came over to visit.

Though this visit was not your usual visit, Michelle had decided to tell her mother about her pregnancy.

"Uh, mom?" Michelle had said.

"Hmm?" her mother replied, drying the last dish from their breakfast and sitting herself down at the table. She wrapped her hand around her mug of tea and looked at her daughter expectedly.

"What did you want to tell me, dear?"

Michelle took a deep breath. She knew her mother wouldn't judge her, in fact she'd probably be excited because she knew her mother had always wanted grandkids - but Michelle was still nervous to tell her.

"You remember that guy Taylor I was dating, right?"

Her mother nodded. "I do, dear. The singer? But you're not dating him anymore?"

Michelle shook her head, a lump forming in her throat. "No, we're not."

Her mother didn't ask Michelle, just looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, dear. I know you liked him a lot."

"Well..." Michelle continued, picking at her placemat. "Something uh, happened before he left."

Her mother looked at her expectedly.

"I'm pregnant, mom," Michelle sighed.

"You are?" her mother said. "You are!" she exclaimed. She got up and gave her daughter a hug. "How exciting!"

Michelle wished she could share her mother's excitement.

"Well," her mother continued, "now you'll have to tell that boy. I'm sure he'll be thrilled."

Michelle sighed. If only her mother knew the whole story.

"I doubt it, mom. Like I said, we broke up, but I do want to tell him. The issue is that he won't return my calls."

Her mother frowned. "I'm sure once you get ahold of him he'll come around. He seemed like a nice boy."

Michelle shrugged. "I thought so...but I was wrong." She muttered.

Flashback ends----

\---

Island Def Jam recording studio

Michelle stood in front of the studio and took a deep breath. Seeing this place again brought back too many memories for her. She thought back on all the hours she'd spent in that space, working on songs or just hanging out with the guys. The memories were bittersweet. Now, all she felt was dread at what she had to do.

Michelle opened the door and walked into the lobby and was greeted by a receptionist who was far too perky for her liking.

"Hello, how can I help you Miss?"

"Hi, I was wondering if Hanson is in the studio right now? They are expecting me." Michelle lied.

"They are on the third floor." The receptionist said while handing Michelle a security pass.

Michelle took the pass.

"Thank you so much for your help," Michelle said to the receptionist as she walked over to the elevator and pushed the button.

Michelle couldn't believe her luck. She didn't think she would got past the reception area without being questioned more.

The elevator arrived and the doors opened indicating to Michelle it was now time for her to make her way upstairs and face the music (figuratively and probably literally as well).

Michelle got on the elevator and push the 3rd floor button. The doors closed and elevator was making its way to the 3rd floor. Michelle had a feeling of dread at the pit of her stomach, she felt nervous about what was about to happen. Taylor was about to get more unexpected news that would change his life just like it changed hers.

The elevator came to halt on the third floor and dinging noise was heard as the doors opened, Michelle got off the elevator. She was standing in the middle of the hallway, Michelle was afraid, but she knew she had to do this.

"Okay, breathe Michelle you can do this," she told herself as she tried to relaxed her nerves.

Michelle began walk down the corridor that lead to the studio, as she was getting close she heard a familiar voice.

"Okay guys, let's take it from the top again." She heard Taylor say to his brothers.

Hearing his voice felt like a punch in her gut.

Michelle had a quick flashback to the time she was this exactly studio with Taylor and Isaac working on the melody for the song "Deeper."

Taylor was at the piano playing some notes while both Michelle and Isaac were at his side singing along with him trying to figure which words would go well with the notes he was currently playing.

"It's soundin' like an old cliche, And I can't stop feelin', I love her in a thousand ways" Taylor sung as he looked at Michelle.

She smiled at him with such warmth, because she knew he was singing personally to her. It made her feel special.

"Thousand ways." She sang trying to find the perfect vocal note for the lyric.

"Let's try this." Michelle heard Taylor say to himself as he played another note.

"Cliche is a good word............" Michelle said to Taylor.

Taylor, while playing, turned his head slightly in Michelle's direction and smiled at her.

"That's good moment......." Michelle said to both Taylor and Isaac. "The song is coming along well."

Isaac nodded his head in agreement as he jot some more notes on his writing pad.

"I love her in a thousand ways" the three of them sung again.

Flashback ends...............

Michelle smiled slightly to herself as she recalled that happy memory. As much as Taylor had hurt her, she didn't regret anything. Meeting him and his brothers had changed her life, and she wouldn't change a thing. She just tried to focus on the good memories, not how badly it ended.

Michelle shook herself out of thoughts. She knew she couldn't stall anymore, she needed to do what she came there to do. She took a deep breath, and took a step forward towards the ajar door. She was about to place her hand on the knob, but before she could touch it she felt someone grabbing her from behind and covered her mouth before she could scream.

Whoever this person was then slightly picked her up and dragged her her to an empty, dark room, and shut and locked the door behind them. Michelle kicked her feet and tried to break free from this person's tight grasp.

Now more afraid than ever, Michelle bite down on her captor's hand.

"Ow!" she heard.

This person immediately let go of her. Michelle slowly backed away and blindly put her fists up indicating she was ready to fight off this person if they attempt to attack her again. She wracked her brain for what she learned in that self-defense class she had taken shortly after she moved to L.A., but she couldn't remember one move.

She saw the silhouette of this person in the dark moving towards the door, and for a second, Michelle thought this person may leave.

The light switch turned on and Michelle was surprised to see who the person was.

"What the hell?" She exclaimed in both shock and anger as she lowered her fists.

"You know you should really watch your language young lady."

It was Walker.

"Well, forgive me Mr. Hanson, but when unknown someone grabs me from behind and drags me into a empty dark room, not bothering to tell me who they are...at first well it makes me feel a bit on edge." Michelle said sarcastically.

"Well, I'm sorry for that, but I couldn't let my sons see you. What you are doing here anyway? You know my son ended things with you and he is married to Natalie now don't you?" Walker asked, gloating.

Michelle was hurt by this, but tried not to show it, because she didn't want to give Walker the satisfaction.

"Yes, Mr. Hanson, I know that Taylor is married to Natalie and they are expecting a baby together." Michelle said.

"So why are you here then?"

"Because Taylor and I have some unfinished business to discuss."

"Michelle, I realize that you and my son had a little fling going on, but that is over now. Taylor is married now to Natalie and he has a responsibility to her and their baby." Walker said sternly.

Michelle scoffed in disbelief. She could not believe Walker's nerve.

"First of all Taylor and I didn't just have a "fling" sir, we were in a serious relationship and we fell in love."

"Oh please, listen little girl," Walker began to say, before Michelle cut him off. His condescending tone was making Michelle mad. She no longer cared about being polite. If he wanted to be nasty, she could play that game, too.

"No! You listen! You have no idea how serious Taylor and I were about each other. We were as close as two people can be. He asked me to marry him even."

"He did what? Walker said his voice filled with shock, considering he didn't know about that small detail.

"Yeah, your son was so serious about me that he even asked for my hand in marriage. I was the one who suggested that we should wait until we were a bit older. We were planning a life together until you and your wife got in the way."

"Excuse me?" Walker said, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, don't pretend to be shocked. I have spent enough time with you and your wife to know what kind of people you are. You never approved of your son's relationship with me, because the way I am. I'm not some timid and traditional girl you can control. In other words I am not Natalie or Kate for that matter!"

Michelle boldly took a step towards Walker.

"You thought that if Taylor stayed with me that eventually he would become his own man and wouldn't be under your family's control anymore. You couldn't have that! That's why you prefer him to marry Natalie because she would never go against you and all that you stand for."

"I would watch what you say "little girl," don't mess the bull because you'll get the horns." Walker said with such disdain.

"I'm only stating the truth."

"So what is this unfinished business you need to discuss with my son?"

"That's not really any of your business. Now if you would excuse me, I need to talk to Taylor now." Michelle said while making her way to the door.

But Walker intercepted her.

"Like hell you will. You are not going in here and interrupting my boys' recording session until you tell me what you plan to tell him."

"Like I told you before what I need to discuss with Taylor is none of your business! So back off!" Michelle said angrily.

"Either you tell me what it is, or I'll call security and have you thrown out like the trash you are." Walker said back to Michelle.

Michelle looked stunned, she knew Walker hated her, but she never thought he hated her that much. Michelle figured she might as well tell Walker the truth, considering he was going to find out anyway.

"Fine, you want to know the reason why I'm here?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I'm pregnant and the baby is Taylor's." Michelle said with a courage she didn't think she had.

"You're what?" Walker asked looking stunned.

"I'm pregnant with your son's baby," Michelle spelled out, as if to a child who didn't understand.

"No. You can't be." Walker said while massaging his temples trying to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

"Well, I hate to break to you, but I am. Despite what you may think of me, Taylor has been the only guy I have slept with so therefore the baby is his." Michelle stated while opening her jacket slightly revealing her very small baby bump.

Walker takes notice of this and realizes that Michelle's claim is indeed true. She is pregnant with his son's baby.

"How far along are you?" Walker asked, softening slightly.

"Almost 16 weeks."

"When did you find out?"

"In May."

Walker looked at Michelle in disbelief.

"And you have waited this long to tell him? Why?"

"Well excuse me for being a teenaged girl whose life got completely turned upside down! First your son breaks up with me unexpectedly with no solid explanation. Then I find out I'm pregnant with his baby! Do you think I want to be a mother at 19?"

"No, I don't, but that still doesn't explain why you took your time in telling him. Are you hoping that he'll leave his wife and his unborn child for you and your unborn child? Because I can tell you right now that won't happen! This is crazy..." he muttered.

Michelle looked at Walker such contempt, because she still can't believe his nerve.

"Believe or not, I was in shock for awhile. I didn't know what to do, but then I came to the realization that Taylor deserved to know the truth about my pregnancy and contrary to what you're thinking I am not using my baby as way to win him back. I just think he deserves to know."

"Why?" Walker asked.

Michelle looked at Walker in disbelief.

"Why? Because it's his baby!"

"He is happily married to Natalie and they are both excited for the arrival of their baby. They are a family now. Why do you want to ruin that for him? If you say you love my son like you say you do then you should leave now and forget about him." Walker said with such manipulation in his voice.

Michelle, shocked, shook her head in disbelief.

Walker walked up to her and looked her dead in the eye while saying these next words to her.

"He's already forgotten about you. You lose him forever Michelle. Accept it and move on with your life for your sake and for your baby's sake too. If you do not leave right now, I will file a restraining order against you, and you'll never be able to come near my son again."

Michelle looked at Walker with such disgust in her eyes.

"Are you threatening me?" she asked.

"I am," Walker admitted.

"You have no shame." Michelle said.

"Leave now. Before I call security." Walker said.

Michelle looked at Walker and knew he wasn't joking around. She knew if she stayed Walker would make good on his threat.

"Fine, I'll leave." Michelle said.

She walked towards the door as Walker watched cautiously.

"But, make no mistake, I will be back later and I will talk to Taylor even if you ending up throwing me out. He deserves to know the truth about my pregnancy. After the truth is told it is up to him completely if he wants to be a part of this baby's life or not. I'm leaving the choice up to him, because unlike you I actually do love him." Michelle said with such conviction in her voice.

She walked out and headed towards the elevator and got in as Walker watched her leave.

\---

Later that evening

Michelle was again driving up to the studio where Taylor and his brothers were working in. Despite her little run in with Walker earlier that day, that didn't keep Michelle away. Walker could threatened her all he wants, even if she gets throw out the building, she was not leaving this time around without speaking to Taylor first. She just hoped Walker had left for the day. She knew Taylor's habit of staying in the studio late once everyone else had left, she just hoped this was one of those nights.

She was pulled up in front of the building and parked the car. She proceeded to get out the car and make her way to the front entrance.

Once inside the lobby, she noticed the same perky receptionist was still at the front desk, the receptionist saw her and smiled at her warmly recognizing her.

"Back so soon?" she said, handing Michelle another pass.

Once Michelle got the pass she made her way to the elevator and hit the button.

This scene looked far too familiar to Michelle considering she was here this morning attempting to do the exactly same thing. If Walker hadn't stopped her Michelle would have told Taylor the truth about her pregnancy. By now maybe she and him would have come to conclusion on how they were going to deal with the situation, but instead Walker turned her away before she had the opportunity to tell Taylor the truth. Well this time she would really tell him, and do what she set out to do. She needed to tell this truth before it completely drove her mad with worry.

A dinging sound is heard and the elevator doors opened, indicating once again Michelle had arrived at her destination.

Michelle got off the elevator and began to walk down corridor hallway that lead to the recording room.

She saw the door was halfway opened and she walked over and slightly opened it a bit more. She peered in and saw Taylor sitting here on a couch with his back to her. Michelle was about to walk in when she heard Natalie's voice.

Michelle stopped dead in her tracks and moved out of sight so she wouldn't be spotted by either Taylor or Natalie. There was a small window to the right of the door. She peered in through the blinds.

"So, I was thinking we should start buying stuff for the nursery soon. I know the baby isn't going to be due for another few months, but I just want to be prepared before he or she comes, you know?" Natalie rattled on to Taylor while rubbing her very noticeable bump. She was leaning on the soundboard and browsing a maternity catalog.

Michelle noticed how big Natalie's bump was and it dawned on her that Natalie's baby will soon be here, where hers was still months away. Michelle noticed the smile on Natalie's face as she looked down at her bump; she looked so content. Michelle knew that feeling all too well. It's look of every new mother has while she awaits for the arrival of her newborn baby. Michelle was just as excited as Natalie is to become a mother, the sad part of this whole situation was both their babies had been fathered by the same guy.

"Yeah, I agree. So what do you have in mind?" Taylor asked Natalie disinterestedly, while getting off the couch and walking over to her to look at the catalog.

When Taylor got up, Michelle could see his face. Michelle was left stunned seeing Taylor for the first time in four months. Though he hadn't changed so much physically Michelle did notice his hair was longer, and he looked way thinner and there are bags under eyes indicating he probably wasn't getting enough sleep, but other than that he looked handsome as ever. Despite how upset she was with him, Michelle missed him so much. She still loved him and wanted nothing more than to charge into the room and hug him tightly. She knew she should make her presence known, but for some odd reason she just couldn't. So she just continued to watch Taylor and Natalie through the window. It was torture.

"I was thinking of getting the crib for sure, since that's going to be the biggest thing to put together and the changing table as well, and maybe the diaper pail - " Natalie said, handing the catalog to Taylor and pointing to a page. Natalie was about to finish her sentence before she felt a bit of jolt coming from inside of her.

"Oh!!!!!!!!!!" she exclaimed in excitement, eyes wide, putting both hands quickly on her stomach.

Taylor felt alarmed by Natalie's sudden outburst fearing something was wrong her and the baby.

"What is it? Are you okay?" He asked quickly, putting the catalog down.

"Yeah, I'm fine, the baby is just kicking!" Natalie said, bursting with joy,

"Its kicking?" Taylor asked looking equally as happy as Natalie did.

"Yeah, here feel." Natalie said while grabbing one of Taylor's hands and placing it on her growing bump.

Taylor's face broke out in a huge smile as he felt the baby kick in response to his touch.

"Wow, he is! That's awesome! That's my boy kicking!" Taylor said with so much pride.

He and Natalie shared a smile.

"So you think it's a boy do you?" Natalie asked teasingly.

"Yeah, I do! With the way this kid is kicking it's has to be a boy!" Taylor replied excitedly.

"Well, what if you're wrong? What the baby turns out to be a girl?"

"Well, then she'll be one strong girl, but she'll be just as beautiful as her mother," Taylor said while smiling at Natalie who smiled back in return.

Michelle saw this exchange and tears began to swell up in her eyes. It broke her heart because she saw the happiness between Taylor and Natalie.

"I don't care what gender the baby ends up being, all I know is that I can't wait to see him or her for the first time and hold them in my arms. I love our child so much already Tay, that I just hope I'll be a good mother to him or her." Natalie said with both happiness and fear in her voice.

"You will be. You already have that maternal instinct in you. Our child is lucky to have you as its mother." Taylor said sincerely.

"Just think, in a few months, our baby will finally be there and we are going to become a family." Natalie squealed as she hugged Taylor.

Michelle couldn't take it anymore. She backed up from the window and turned and quickly walked away before they saw her.

If Michelle had watched for one more second, she would have clearly seen the sad and unhappy look on Taylor's face as he hugged Natalie.

Taylor cared about Natalie, and he was making the best of their situation, but a day didn't go by where he didn't wish it was Michelle who was pregnant with his baby and whom he had married instead.

Michelle, fighting back tears, walked out the building and got into her car. As she drove back to her apartment she can kept seeing what she just witnessed between Taylor and Natalie in that studio. Michelle couldn't believe her eyes. Walker was right. Taylor had forgotten about her and was moving on with Natalie. He was happy to start a family with Natalie. His father was right. He used Michelle and once he was done with her he had moved on with Natalie. She saw it with her own eyes how happy he looked with Natalie as they talked about the arrival of their baby. They looked like a family. That's what got to Michelle the most, because it was supposed to be her and Taylor and their baby, but now it couldn't be, because Taylor didn't love her anymore.

As she drove, Michelle came to the conclusion she couldn't ever tell Taylor the truth about her pregnancy. She didn't want to be the other woman who came crashing in and destroying his and Natalie's marriage and family life. She loved him too much to do that. If he didn't love her anymore, she'll accept it, no matter how hard it will be. 

Eventually Michelle reached her building and put the car in park. She sighed and looked down at her small bump and rubbed it softly.

"Well kiddo, it looks like it's just you and me. I promise I'll take good care of us." She said to her unborn baby.

"At least one good thing came out from this mess that your mama got herself into and that's you my darling." Michelle said once again to her unborn child while smiling contently with tears in her eyes still.

\---

A few weeks later

Since deciding to raise her baby alone, in a way, Michelle had felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. She was scared, but knew she had her family for support. Every day that passed she missed Taylor a little less. She still loved him, she figured she always will - but she was accepting that it was over and that she had lost him.

Michelle didn't really feel like dating anyone else, and there wasn't anyone special she had her eyes on. She was totally focused on her baby. She had, however, been spending more time with Teddy, her bass player. Since everything that had happened with Taylor, she had felt inspired to work on new music. Teddy came over to her apartment often and they jammed together. He was eager to work on new material and to get back on the road. Michelle appreciated Teddy, he'd been a good friend and collaborator. The more she got to know him, she found they got along well and had a lot in common. He was a lot older than her, but it didn't bother her.

Things were going as well as they could for Michelle, considering her situation.

It was a warm, sunny summer California day, and Michelle was on the way to pick up Teddy from his apartment. They had planned to meet with Bob for lunch at the label headquarters in Studio City to discuss some new material Michelle had been working on.

Michelle groaned and she took a corner and saw a mile-long traffic backup.

"Typical" she muttered.

There was a lot that Michelle loved about L.A. - the pink sunsets, the nightlife, the boardwalk - but its notorious and constant traffic was not one of those things.

She switched on the radio and sat back, knowing it would be a while. She glanced out her window and saw a woman pushing a baby carriage. She smiled, unconsciously touching her stomach. As sad as she was that her baby would grow up not knowing its father, she couldn't help but be excited. She hadn't planned to be a mother so young, or in this way, but she was a firm believer that everything happened for a reason. She had to have faith that everything would work out. She knew she was luckier than some single moms. For one, money wasn't an issue for her. She could afford to stay home with the baby until it was bigger, then go back to work. She also had a very supportive family and knew the baby would be very loved.

One thing was still weighing on her mind, though. She had not told Bob or Teddy about the baby. She knew she had too, but was worried they might think that would interfere with her career. It wouldn't. She knew that she'd always be a musician, the difference now was that she would also be a mother as well. In fact, she had already starting working on a song inspired by her unborn baby.

Finally, traffic started moving again.

"Whoo-whoo!" she cheered to herself, pushing the pedal down.

She heard her cell phone ringing. She looked on the seat next to her and realized it wasn't there. She figured it was Teddy, asking where she was. She was running more than a little late.

"Shoot," she muttered, realizing it was in her purse in the backseat.

After a while, seeing a big gap ahead of her in the traffic, and figuring since they were moving so slowly, she quickly twisted in her seat and reached back for her cell phone. She grabbed it, and quickly answered.

"Hey, Teddy" she said, righting herself in her seat again, and placing her hand back on the wheel.

"Where you at?" he asked, "we're gonna be late to meet Bob,"

"I know, I know. I'm stuck in traffic, as per usual."

Teddy groaned.

"I'm starving."

"Me too," Michelle said, sighing. She pulled to a stop at a red light.

"Bob's going to love the new songs. Especially "Are You Happy Now?" I think it could be a real hit."

Michelle nodded. "I hope so."

The red light seemed to take forever. Michelle was itching to get to Teddy's. For the first time in a while, she was feeling excited about her music. It was just too bad it had taken heartbreak for her to feel inspired to write good songs again.

The light finally turned red, and Michelle drove forward happily.

"And we're moving!" she said happily. "I should be there in ten -

Suddenly, Teddy heard a screeching noise, followed by a sickening crunching noise.

Teddy's heart dropped.

"Michelle? Are you okay?"

But there was no answer.


	20. "Lost Without Eachother"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalie gives birth to Ezra. Michelle and Teddy grow closer. Michelle feels inspired to write new music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in first-person.

  
-  
Listen, with all the choices that we chose to make  
And all the promises we chose to break  
We were busy making big mistakes, yesterday  
-  


October 31st, 2002 (4 months later)

Taylor

"Uh, Tay? I think I'm in labor..."

I had had been lounging on the bed when my wife's voice broke my concentration. I looked up. She stood in the doorway and looked absolutely, positively terrified.

"I think, uh, my water broke in the bathroom," she said quietly, eyes wide with fear.

My eyes went down and I saw that her entire lower half was soaked. I gulped.

Oh Shit.

"Uh, okay," I said, quickly putting my book down and getting off the bed and trying not to panic. We had prepared for this, I reminded myself. People had babies all the time, but if that was the case, why was I so scared?

It may have something to do with the bad idea I had last night to spend awhile looking up birth videos on the web. I got through half of one before I had to turn it off.

I stood there, staring at her, frozen. I suddenly remembered we had packed a bag. I racked my brain, trying to remember where we had put it.

"Do you remember where the bag is?" I asked Natalie, helping her to a chair. She sat down gingerly and looked up at me with big scared eyes.

"It's under the bed I think."

"Right," I said. I bent down and looked under the bed. It was there, as she said it would be. I let out a sigh of relief, grabbed it and stood up. I forced a smile and said...

"OK! Are you ready to go? Where's your purse?"

"It's on the dresser," she said, getting up to get it, but I rushed to get it for her.

"So should I like call a cab or should we drive? Like, how in labor are you?"

"We can drive, I think." Natalie said. "My water only just broke. I think we have time."

I nodded, wondering how she could be so calm. Must be some new mother coping mechanism.

"Okay, well let's go," I said, hauling the bag over my left shoulder, then her purse over that, and grabbing my phone and keys with the other.

We hurried out to the car and drove to the hospital. I'm sure I drove like a bat out of hell, but I didn't care. We got there in record time and I rushed Natalie in. She was immediately taken in and I was asked to wait in the waiting room.

Natalie and I had discussed this in advance, and I had decided I didn't want to be in the operating room during the birth. I honestly didn't think I had the stomach for it, and in all honestly, I think Natalie was relieved I'd made that decision. She had, however, asked that her mother be there.

I sat down on a bench in the waiting room and called her mother right away.

"Hello? Taylor?"

"Hey, Pam. Natalie's in labor. We just got to the hospital."

"I'm on the way," Pam said in one breath, and then the line went dead.

I made a few more calls - Dad, Zac - then sat back down. But I immediately got up again. I was too nervous to sit down, so I just paced around the room. I really wanted a cigarette, but didn't want to go outside in case the doctor came out to talk to me.

After a while, a smiling doctor made his way towards me. I rushed over to him.

"Yes?" I asked nervously.

I must have looked like a total basket case, because the doctor laughed and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Take a deep breath son, your wife is fine. She is resting comfortably. She is in the early stages of labor. She's asking about her mother though. She wanted me to ask you if you called her? And she wants her purse."

I looked down on the chair and realized I still had Natalie's purse and her overnight bag.

"Oh, right," I said, handing them to the doctor. "Thank you,"

"Of course," he said, smiling again. "I'll come back out and give you an update once anything happens, okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks, doc."

I watched him walk away and disappear behind the double revolving doors.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I quickly answered it.

"Tay?"

"Zac! Can you come to the hospital? I'm freaking out," I admitted.

"Ike and I are on the way," he said, hanging up.

I walked outside and lit a cigarette, taking a long, shaky drag. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.

My wife was about to have a baby.

I said it aloud, hoping that would make it feel more real.

"My. Wife. Is. Having. A. Baby," I muttered.

An elderly lady walked past me.

"Congratulations, young man," she said, walking past me and smiling.

I still couldn't believe it. If you had told me this is where I would be at this time, I wouldn't have believed you, but here I was. The last three months had not been easy. Once Natalie had graduated in June, we had gotten married in a small ceremony in Atlanta at a church Natalie had picked out. I couldn't have cared less. I just smiled and tried to get through the ceremony and reception without crying. She had then immediately moved out of her parents' house and into my apartment with Isaac and I.

It had not been an easy transition. Natalie knew I didn't want to marry her. She hadn't wanted to either...in the beginning, but slowly, my parents and hers had convinced her that it was the best idea, and that over time, I'd "come around."

I sincerely doubted that. I couldn't imagine ever being happy with Natalie.

After Natalie and I had gotten married, I threw myself into work full-force. The band was all I had. I had given up the girl I loved for it, and I'd be damned if I was going to let it fall apart. We started talking about trying to finish Underneath again, and I spent long hours in our new studio, editing segments of the documentary Zac had filmed.

I thought about Michelle all the time, and it made me feel incredibly guilty. Though I knew I would never be happy with Natalie, I had accepted the fact that we were married and having a child, and I was committed to making the best of a bad situation. I realized that my happiness wasn't the most important - I had to put my child first.

Natalie was sweet, but I didn't love her. At most, I saw her like a sister - it's not that she wasn't pretty, she was. It wasn't that she wasn't loveable - she was. Actually, Natalie was a very nice girl - sweet, honest, humble...my family adored her. I wish I felt the same. I loved Michelle. I always would. I couldn't imagine that love ever fading and I didn't believe you could love two people at once.

I took another drag of my cigarette and cursed at myself. Here I was, at the hospital, my wife in labor, and I was thinking about my ex girlfriend.

I was a terrible person, I decided.

I saw Isaac's car pull up, park, and him and Zac quickly get out of the car and jog towards me.

My relationship with my brother Zac had been strained since we found out Natalie was pregnant - he'd sided with my dad and with Kate, and that hurt. Zac had made it clear that I should do the "right thing" and marry Natalie, and "pay" for what I had done. I think a part of him resented me for not listening to him that night in Atlanta, and trust me, if I could go back in time, I would have listened. There was also a part of Zac that was very traditional, like my father, and I was seeing it more and more the older Zac got. I knew him and Kate were waiting for marriage to have sex, and I respected him for that, it couldn't be easy, but a part of me thought Zac looked down on me because I hadn't waited. Or maybe he was jealous and resented me because I had sex and he hadn't. Either way, he had been clear in his opinion that I had majorly fucked up by getting Natalie pregnant and now I had to pay the consequences.

Regardless of where we stood in our relationship lately, he was my brother and my best friend, and I loved him and really wanted him here when my baby was born.

"Tay! Are you okay?" Zac asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, snubbing my cigarette out in the curb and pushing my thoughts of Michelle out of my head. "She's in there. The doctor said he'd come out if anything changed."

Me and my brothers walked back into the waiting room and sat down.

"Are you excited? Scared?" Isaac asked me.

"Can I say both?"

"I just can't believe you're going to be a father, Tay," Zac said, a bit of awe in his voice. "It's just so crazy,"

"I know," I said, "I'm kinda in shock."

The three of us sat there, trying to absorb the magnitude of what was happening. I was grateful they were there. As much as we fought, my brothers really were my best friends, and I couldn't imagine welcoming my child into the world without them by my side.

Suddenly, Pam, Natalie's mom, came up to us, panting. It was clear she had been running.

"Where is she?" she asked.

"Down that hall there," I said, pointing to the revolving doors the doctor had disappeared through earlier.

Pam thanked me and hurried off to be with her daughter.

After about an hour, the same doctor came out and told us that Natalie's labor was progressing along smoothly, and if all went as planned, my child could be born in a few hours.

A few hours. My child. Wow.

A few hours passed. It had started to get dark and still no word from the doctor. I was starting to get worried. What if something was wrong? Should I go back there?

Isaac saw how worried I looked and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sure she's fine, Tay. It takes a long time to have a baby." he said.

Zac nodded like he knew what Ike was saying. I rolled my eyes, and laughed.

"Like you know anything about childbirth," I scoffed.

"Actually, for your information, Kate's sister just had a baby, and she told me all about it. I know the drill and Ike's right. Sometimes it can take days," he replied indignantly. Zac hated it when I questioned his maturity. He hated that he was younger than me.

"Days?" I squeaked. I didn't think I had it in me.

Zac continued, clearly pleased with himself that he knew more about this topic than I did. "Yeah, and sometimes they have to do this thing called a C-section, where they cut the baby out, if the baby can't be born naturally, like if something goes wrong or whatever."

I felt my face go pale at that.

Oh God, Maybe I should have paid more attention in those birth classes Mom insisted we take.

"But that's only in emergencies," Ike interjected, giving Zac a dirty look.

Day turned to night, and still no word. All three of us fell asleep uncomfortably in the waiting room chairs. After what seemed like an excruciatingly long time, the same doctor came out, smiling broadly. I sat up quickly, shaking Ike awake. I got up and looked at the doctor expectantly.

"Congratulations, son. It's a boy. You're a father," he said, shaking my hand. "Follow me. You can come in now. Natalie is asking for you."

I just stared at him, stupefied, but followed him into the recovery room, my brothers following close behind.

The doctor opened the door for us, and I saw Natalie laying in bed holding the tiniest human I had honestly ever seen in a bundle in her arms.

I approached the bed. My brothers hung behind, standing in the corner. Natalie was lying there with our son in her arms. Pam was sitting in the chair beside her.

I approached the bed slowly.

"Hey, Tay,"

Natalie looked exhausted, but was smiling from ear to ear.

"He's a boy," Natalie said quietly, smiling up at me. She then gently pushed over the blanket covering my son's face.

I had not been prepared for how I would feel seeing my son for the first time. I can't even really describe it. As cheesy as it sounds, it was like my heart swelled with love to the point where I thought it would burst. In that moment, everything else fell away and all I could focus on was my son. Nothing else mattered. I felt such pride. I felt like a man. I felt tears coming, and quickly wiped them away, embarrassed. I glanced over at Pam, who smiled at me.

"Congratulations, he's beautiful," she said sincerely.

"He's so tiny," I said in wonder, reaching out and gently touching his tiny hand. Feeling my touch, he raised his hand and tightened it around my finger. I raised my eyebrows, laughing.

"He's stronger than he looks," I smiled.

I looked up and motioned for my brothers to come over. Zac approached first.

"Can I hold him?" he asked eagerly. I was surprised. I didn't think Zac liked babies that much.

"Of course," Natalie said, carefully handing the baby over to my brother.

My brother took my son and smiled down at him, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm an uncle!" he exclaimed happily.

After a moment, he looked up at me and said, "He's awesome, you guys. You're really lucky." while passing him to me.

"Thanks," I said, taking my son in my own arms. I just sat there with him for a few minutes, admiring how small he was and how perfect. I felt a million emotions at once.

"Welcome to the world, little man," I said quietly, stroking his tiny hand with my thumb. It may have been my imagination, but it seemed like he smiled up at me.

I glanced up to see Natalie looking at me. Our eyes met and we shared a smile, each of us silently acknowledging the magnitude of what had just happened. Of what we had done...together. We had made a tiny human. It was incredible, really. In that moment, I admired her so much. Even though things weren't perfect with us, I knew we both wanted more than anything to be good parents.

As I looked down at my son in wonder, I remember thinking that no matter what happened, I wanted to be the best father I could to him.

\---

November 4, 2002

Michelle

It was just another Monday evening. Today had been a good day so far. Ever since that tragic day in July, I haven't had too many good days, quite frankly. I still have a hard time processing all that has happened to me in last year. A year ago, I was so happy...because around this time last year Taylor and I went on our first date. Despite how things ended for us, I'll never regret my time with Taylor or falling in love with him. He brought feelings out in me that I didn't even think I could ever feel again. I'll always love him, but I can't keep dwelling on the past anymore. He made his choice and decided to move on. Now I have to as well, as difficult as it is to do so, I have to.

I heard a knock at the door of my apartment, and walked over to open it.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" I asked, seeing Teddy, my bass player.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I brought dinner and some drinks," Teddy said as I looked at the box of pizza he had in one hand and a pack of beer in the other.

"Sure, come in." I said while gesturing to him.

I hadn't expected him, but figured I could use the company.

Teddy walked in and I closed the door.

He followed me into the living room and set the pizza and beer down on the coffee table.

"Make yourself at home, I'm going to go get some plates." I said to him.

"Okay." He said back to me.

I walked into the kitchen and I opened the cabinet to get two plates out then closed the cabinet and took the plates with me back into the living room.

I walked back into the living room and saw Teddy sitting there on the couch already drinking a beer, he smiled when he saw me.

"Hey" he said simply.

"Hey, so I got the plates."

I went to sit next to him as I handed him a plate then opened the pizza box.

"Ladies first," he told me.

I smiled at him and I leaned in and a grabbed a slice. He then grabbed a slice and handed me a beer. For the first few minutes we ate in silence, until Teddy spoke up to diffuse the awkwardness and the elephant in the room between us.

Though we'd seen each other on work-related assignments, we had not discussed the accident or what had happened since. Teddy had been there at the hospital with me. The whole thing had been so traumatizing, I had never wanted to discuss it again, but I knew we had to discuss it eventually.

"So, how have you've been?" he asked me.

"Good, I've been writing some new songs for the upcoming album. It doesn't seem like I'm having as much troubling in the writing department as I did before. I think I've got some really good material." I said casually.

I noticed the concerned look on Teddy's face.

"What?" I said harshly.

"What?" He asked back innocently.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" He asked me in a confused tone of voice.

"Like you're worried about me?"

"Well, you've had a tough couple of months, Michelle. I can only assume that you might..."

I didn't allow him to finish the rest of his sentence.

"I might what? Go crazy, because I lost the boy I loved with my whole heart along with my baby too? And almost died in a car accident?" I said with so much anger in my voice as I got up from my seat, took my drink with me over to the balcony as I opened the patio door, and slammed it shut vigorously.

I stared out at the city lights as I had countless times before. I heard my patio door open behind me and I knew Teddy had followed me out here.

"I didn't mean to upset you Michelle, I just wanted to see how you were doing that's all." He told me with a hint of both concern and sincerity in his voice.

He walked up to where I was standing and looked out at the city lights with me.

After a few seconds of silence, I spoke up.

"I'm sorry." I said to him.

"For what?"

"That was out of line."

"That's okay. I shouldn't have said anything. If you say you're okay, I believe you. You're a tough cookie. I'm sorry." he said.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, looking over at him.

I was the one who'd yelled at him and stormed off, just because he'd expressed concern about me.

"For making you relive something so awful. I know you have to be struggling with that every single day. What happened to you the day of your accident was so life changing."

"Yeah, it was." I said while taking a deep breath. "It was pretty awful."

I remember that day so vividly like it was yesterday...

(Flashback to July 2002)

I vaguely remember being rushed to the hospital and then being wheeled into the E.R. As doctors and nurses scattered all over the place to work on me, then I lost consciousness.

After that, I remember clearly waking up in a room feeling a bit disoriented at first wondering where I was. I remember looking to my right and seeing both Teddy and my sister Nicole sitting at the small table in the room sipping their coffee as they chatted.

I tried to sit up, but I felt a sharp pain in my midsection, so I didn't attempt to sit up anymore. The small yelp I let out got both my sister and Teddy's attention, because before I knew it they were at my side.

"Oh my gosh, Michelle you're awake finally!" Nicole exclaimed.

I looked at Nicole strangely.

"How long was I out for? What happened? Where am I?" I asked her.

"For about three days. You were - " She told me.

"Three days?" I said, interrupting her.

"Yeah, you lost consciousness after you arrived at the hospital." Teddy told me.

I looked around the room, feeling so confused.

"What am I doing there though exactly?" I asked.

"Michelle, you don't remember what happened?" my sister asked me sadly.

"All I remember is that I was in my car on my way to pick up Teddy. We were running late for a meeting with Bob...after that, it's all a blank."

"Yeah, that's right you were on the phone with me at the time and you apologized to me, because you felt bad you were running late, because you were stuck in traffic." Teddy told me.

I nodded, the conversation slowly coming back to me.

"That's right...we were talking about the song 'Are You Happy Now'," and then I remember traffic started moving again and I told you that I would be there in ten..."

Then instantly a grim memory came to me. I found myself remembering the accident that took place shortly after that.

Suddenly, something dawned on me while I was here in the hospital and I started to panic.

"Oh my gosh, my baby! My baby!" I started to say as I started to try to get up from my bed. I had a sinking feeling it wasn't alright.

My sister and Teddy tried to restrain me.

"No, no, no. Michelle you have to calm down and you need to rest. You've been through a lot of trauma." Nicole said.

I settled back down on the bed, and tried to fight the dread I felt.

"Nicole, be honest with me, what happened to my baby?"

Teddy looked really sad.

"I didn't even know you were pregnant...before the doctors told me. Why didn't you tell me?" Teddy asked quietly.

I stared at him.

"Because it was none of your business!" I said harshly. He stepped back, as if he'd been slapped. I instantly regretted it, but figured I could apologize later. Right now, all I wanted to know was how my baby was. I looked down at my stomach and pulled my shirt up quickly. There were scratches and a large bruise that covered almost my entire stomach. I gasped.

"Michelle you need to rest, okay? You need to regain your strength, that way you can make a full recovery and then you can go back..." My sister said, her voice shaky. Before my sister finished her sentence, I had cut her off rudely.

"Damn it Nicole, just tell me the truth okay? What happened to my baby!?"

My sister couldn't look me in the eyes and that's when I knew instantly what had happened, but before she could confirm it officially, the doctor walked in. He had probably heard me yell and swear at my sister.

"So I see that you're finally awake." The doctor said.

I instantly turned my attention to him and asked him point blank the question that my sister was avoiding.

"Yeah, I am. So let's cut the chase doc, what happened to my baby? Please just tell me the truth." I said angrily.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Branch, but the impact your body went through was so severe that it caused you to hemorrhage and the fact you weren't breathing properly for a good while, it caused your baby to go into distress." The doctor explained to me.

"Just tell me what you need to tell me!" I said with desperation in my voice, already knowing what he'd say next to me.

"Your baby didn't make it." He told me. "I'm so sorry, Ms. Branch."

"My baby...died?" I asked him meekly, once more feeling like my whole world had just been rocked to its core.

"We tried to save both you and the baby, but we couldn't. The trauma that your body went through was just too much for it. You almost died too." He explained to me. "You are lucky to be alive."

"I really wish I had died." I said with tears swelled up in my eyes.

"Michelle! Don't say that!" my sister said to me.

"What? I lost my child, a child that I was so excited to bring into the world. Taylor's baby! I had so many dreams Nicole, and just like that they are gone along with my baby!" I said with the tears that were swelled up in my eyes now spilling around my cheekbones.

"I'm so sorry Michelle." My sister told me as she enveloped me in her arms as I cried.

I'll never forget the look on Teddy's face as he awkwardly watched my sister hold me as I cried. He looked almost as sad for me as I felt for myself, and I knew in that moment, he understood, and I was grateful he was there.

(Flashback ends)

"It's a day I'll never forget, but there's no point in relieving it again. What's done is done." I said. "Life moves on. I have my music to focus on."

"Michelle, you don't need to be strong, okay? It's okay for you to feel angry and sad." Teddy said to me trying to get me to see reason.

"What is feeling angry or being sad going to do for me, Teddy? It's not going to change anything. I lost Taylor and I lost my baby. No matter how much I yell or cry about it, it isn't going to change anything. So what's the point?"

"Sometimes, letting your emotions out can do wonders for you."

"So, what? Me throwing things or crying uncontrollably is supposed to make everything all better?" I asked him, rolling my eyes.

"No, not exactly, but at least it can give you a sense of comfort in a way. The point is, Michelle, you need to heal and it's going to take a while, but you will get there. It doesn't mean the pain is ever going to go completely away, but you'll learn live with it." Teddy said to me with such wisdom in his eyes.

"I just feel so alone right now." I confessed as tears threatened to swell up in my eyes.

Then one of his hands grabbed one of my hands as he said these next words to me...

"You're not alone. You have me."

I looked into his eyes and I saw concern and maybe want? All I know is that in that moment, I felt that Teddy was being sincere to me. For some odd reason it stirred up something in me, a feeling I haven't felt since Taylor. I wasn't ready to face those feelings just yet.

I broke contact with him, feeling uncomfortable, I took my hands away.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asked with concern.

"No, you didn't...it's just it's been a long day and I'm getting kind of tired." I lied.

Teddy took one look at me and knew instantly that I was lying, but chose to not argue with me.

"Yeah, I should get going anyway." He said as he opened the patio door and walked back into the apartment. I followed him in.

"Thanks for stopping by though, Teddy. You're a really good friend and I'm glad to have you, really." I said to him with all sincerity.

"Ditto." He said to me while flashing me a smile and then turned to open my front door.

"Teddy!"

"Yeah?" He answered back while turning his head to face me.

I instantly went to hug him. He was shocked at first, but then he embraced me tightly.

"Thanks again." I whispered into his ear.

"You're welcome." He whispered back to me.

Eventually we let go of each other and he waked down the hallway and then out of sight. I then closed my door.

I went to clean up the mess in my living room. I decided to put the T.V. on as I cleaned up.

I picked the pizza box and the case of beer that were leftover and decided to put them in my fridge. I then walked back into the living room and picked up the plates we used for dinner and I walked back into the kitchen and washed them.

I decided to wipe down my coffee table. I grabbed a wet cloth and started to clean my coffee table. As I was cleaning it I watched a bit of tonight's episode of "Entertainment Tonight". Nothing really was catching my attention until a certain segment did.

I heard the song "Mmmbop" play in the background as they show a clip from the music video and then a current picture of Taylor with the headline saying "It's a Mmmboy!"

"Not again," I muttered, feeling like Entertainment Tonight was haunting me with stories about Hanson. No matter how hard I tried to forget about that time in my life, I couldn't.

"Well ladies, if your hearts were shattered when you heard the news that Taylor Hanson got married then you're about to get even more heartbroken, because the heartthrob of the band just became a father a few days ago."

I instantly stopped cleaning my coffee table and I put the cloth down and I walked close to my T.V. set. Totally engrossed in the news transcribed in front of me.

"That's right, Hanson and his wife Natalie Bryant who were married almost five months ago just welcome their firstborn son whose name is Jordan Ezra Hanson. According to the Hanson's PR they said both mother and baby are just doing fine."

I fell down to my knees feeling like the air just stuck out me. I felt so hurt. I knew Taylor was having a baby, but for whatever reason, it hadn't seemed real until today.

"Congratulations to Hanson and his wife on their new bundle of joy! We wish them the best." the T.V. host said with such fakeness.

Tears swelled up in my eyes, I wanted to suppress them so badly. I should feel happy for Taylor and Natalie. They have a beautiful healthy baby boy. They have a son. This is the most wonderful day of their lives. I should feel happy for them. I do. So I shouldn't feel the feelings I'm feeling right now, because it's not right to.

I staggered to my feet as I was finding it hard to stand up and walk. I walked over to my couch and sat down as I tried so hard not to cry, since crying isn't going to change anything as I had told Teddy earlier tonight.

After a while, I decided to go to bed. I walked into my room and I changed into my P.J.'s, and I went to my dresser to brush my hair, but before I could grab the brush, something caught my attention. It was a photo of Taylor and I as we shared a kiss. Nicole had taken that picture of us. The photo was proudly framed. Beside the photo there was a note Taylor had written on the stationary from a hotel he had stayed at on tour. I picked up and read it as I had a dozen times before. It read this:

"My beautiful Michelle, words can't express how much you mean to me, it's a silly notion I know to be writing you this letter, but I miss you so much. I know it's only been a few days since we last saw each other, but they have been torture for me. Not having you around to talk to drives me crazy. I long to hear your sweet voice again, to see your beautiful smile that instantly puts me in a better mood. I miss holding you in my arms as we share our day's activities with one another, and most of all I miss feeling your lips upon mine. Hurry back home my darling. Know this, someday the oceans will go dry, and the trees and flowers will wither, but on that day I'll still be loving you until the end of time."

He wrote me this letter when I was away visiting my parents and left it on my dresser with a rose. I felt so happy when I saw it and read it. I remember I called him shortly after reading the note and told him I loved him too in the same way, and he came over and we had a romantic evening together.

I knew I shouldn't keep pictures of him, but I couldn't get myself to throw them away. Though it was like torture looking at them, I can't look away.

I miss everything about him and though I am happy for him and Natalie, I also can't help but feel angry too. Why did he have to hurt me like this? Why did he sleep with her? Why did he marry her? Why did her baby with him survive, but mine with him hadn't? Was this how it was meant to be? I know deep down, things happen for a reason, but right now I can't see what that reason is. All I know is this isn't fair. I know life isn't supposed to be fair, but I can't help but feel cheated.

Teddy was right, I should just let everything out, because bottling it up isn't doing me really any favors. I needed closure.

I went and grabbed the photo of Taylor and I. I looked at it once more before I threw it against my wall, smashing it in the process. I grabbed the note I just read and ripped it up. Then I laid down on my bed in a fetal position as I cried myself to sleep wishing that I would wake up from this nightmare I've been living in.

The only thing that gave me some peace was knowing that I was going to make a killer album, because now I had a reason to write some new material. Nothing like a broken heart to inspire a songwriter. All the best songs were written by broken-hearted women, I knew this.

I stared at the pieces of ripped up paper on the floor and decided suddenly that I'd call this album "Hotel Paper."


	21. "Where Are You Now?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelle's new album is released. Michelle receives an unexpected package. Taylor discovers a copy of Michelle's album on a record store in New York. Isaac gives Michelle a call.

  
-  
I've been all over the world  
I've seen a million different places  
But through the crowds and all the faces  
I'm still out there looking for you  
-  


June 21st 2003

Michelle couldn't believe that the day was finally here, the day her album was being released. It had been a crazy ride. Michelle had spent the last eight months completely consumed by the album. It had been a labor of love, and she couldn't wait to share it with her fans, who she knew were eager for new work from her.

Hotel Paper was her most personal album yet. Every single song on it. It was almost too personal - releasing it for the world to listen to felt to her, in a way, like opening her heart up for people to see into. Michelle knew that was part of being a musician, opening yourself up to scrutiny, but it was still hard. Every song on the album meant so much to her.

If anyone had asked her if the album was about Taylor, she'd have denied it, but she knew the truth that is was. Despite what he had put her through, Michelle was grateful to Taylor in a way, because if he hadn't broken her heart, she never could have written Hotel Paper.

Michelle's label had organized a record release party for her at the Sam Goody store in downtown Los Angeles that evening. She was planning to play four of new songs off her album, do a CD signing, followed by an after party with friends and select fans.

Michelle sat in the back room of the record store, idly strumming her guitar, enjoying the calm before the storm. She was nervous. She'd played in front of people a thousand times, of course, but something felt different this time. This album was so personal...performing songs from it for the first time made her nervous.

Her manager poked her head in the doorway.

"You're on in 5, Ms. Branch,"

Michelle took a deep breath, then stood up and slung her guitar around her shoulder. She stood in front of the long full-length mirror. She studied herself. She was pleased with her outfit for that evening. She'd chosen a pair of pleather pants, a black halter top, and cowboy boots. Her hair, which had gotten very long, was gathered in a high ponytail, secured with a scarf. She wore little jewelry, only a silver choker and silver ring on her left pinky finger. She thought she looked fierce, adult and in control of her destiny - which was exactly how she wanted to portray herself. She smiled at her reflection, pleased.

Michelle felt she'd matured a great deal in the last year, and that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone since she'd been through so much. The last year had aged her, no doubt, but what she had been through had also given her a new outlook on life. She knew what she wanted more clearly now, and she had learned from her mistakes. She was focused and felt musically challenged. She was ready for the next chapter of her life, wherever it took her.

A lot had changed in the last eight months. Michelle continued to live in L.A, thought she had moved to a different apartment, closer to the Maverick studio where she spent most of her time these days. She liked the new apartment. It was smaller than her previous one, but it was nicer, closer to the beach, and had parking. Michelle didn't mind the size of it. In fact, she liked it, it forced her to live minimally which was probably a good thing.

Teddy and her had grown quite close. They spent a lot of time together, working on songs and just hanging out. Michelle considered him her best friend. Even though he was older than her, she felt he met her at her level and understood her. He didn't treat her like she was younger than him. He had made it clear he was interested in her romantically, but was also respectful of her boundaries. She knew she could trust him, and he had been a very good friend to her. It wasn't that Michelle didn't like Teddy...she did in fact. He was good-looking, sweet and talented...just her type. And most importantly, he was a musician - she just wasn't ready to be in a relationship again yet. She wanted to remain focused on her music. She didn't want another boy distracting her from what she thought was important at this time in her life. She was almost 20 years old, in fact her birthday was next month. She was no longer a teen, she was an adult and wanted to be taken seriously. She also didn't want to jeopardize their working relationship, he was after all, in her band. That said, because of what Taylor had done to her, Michelle found it very hard to trust another guy, which she could tell was frustrating for Teddy, because he had proved he was trustworthy.

She knew, though, that if she decided to get involved with him, that Teddy would be a good fit for her. She thought what may be holding her back from reciprocating his feelings was the fact that a part of her compared him to Taylor...and she hated herself for that. She knew it wasn't fair to Teddy. She knew she'd never find anyone like Taylor again, she needed to accept that, but a part of her kept looking for someone like him. She knew that to a girl no one was like their first love.

As for Taylor, Michelle didn't think about him much anymore. Sure, every once in awhile, she'd see something that reminded her of him, but she'd quickly push it out of her head. Her hurt had turned to anger. She couldn't imagine what she would say to him if she saw him again, and luckily she hadn't gotten that opportunity. She missed him sometimes, but mostly she was just angry at how things had ended.

Her time touring with Hanson, her time with Taylor seemed like a lifetime ago to Michelle. She'd changed so much. Sometimes she wondered what had changed her. There was no doubt she had changed. Was it Taylor? Getting her heart broken? Was it the miscarriage? All she knew was that she wasn't the same person she was before she met him. Or was it that she had just changed, as people naturally do? She wasn't sure, but she was in a good place now, and she was grateful for that. She hadn't heard from any of the Hanson's since her and Taylor's breakup, and that had hurt, but she tried not to take it personally. Little did she know what would soon change.

Michelle took one last deep breath and pulled herself out of her thoughts before heading out to play her show.

She smiled as she faced the audience before her. This was where she truly felt alive and happy, playing her songs for others to enjoy.

"Hello L.A.!" she said joyfully, "Are you ready to hear some new music?"

\---

The next day

Michelle had decided to take it easy the next day, last night's show and party had taken a lot out of her. She was hanging around her apartment, not doing anything in particular, when her phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID before picking up.

"Hey Bob," Michelle said, putting the phone on speaker, and plopping down on the couch. "What's up?"

"You are what is up, little lady!" Bob said excitedly into the phone.

Michelle raised an eyebrow, wondering what he could be referring to.

"What do you mean?" she asked carefully, worried she was in trouble.

Bob could hardly contain his excitement.

"Guess who's album is number two on the U.S. Billboard 200?"

Michelle didn't say anything. Had she heard that right?

"Michelle, did you hear me?" Bob asked

"Yeah, I heard you....are you serious?" Michelle said in awe.

"What's right, Michelle! They couldn't be more excited at the label. You are back and better than ever! Day 2 and the album has already sold 50,000 copies."

"Wow..." Michelle breathed, unable to contain her shock.

"There's more good news, too! So you know how the label wanted to see how the album did before they committed to financing a tour?"

Bob continued excitedly before Michelle had a chance to reply.

"Well, I just got off the phone with the label, and they have green-lit the tour! Michelle, you're going on the road to promote Hotel Paper!"

This was great news to Michelle, who had been worried her album wouldn't do well enough commercially to convince the label to fund her tour.

"Awesome!"

Unable to contain her excitement, Michelle jumped off the couch and did a little happy hance. She was sure she looked stupid, and was grateful there was no one else there to witness it.

"You're telling me!" Bob said happily.

Michelle settled back down on the couch and listened intently, eager for what Bob may tell her next.

"Anyway, I gotta go, but I wanted to tell you the good news. We have a meeting with the label tomorrow at noon to discuss the details of the tour. Can you make it?"

"Of course," Michelle replied. "I wouldn't miss it. See you then."

"Later, kiddo."

Michelle was elated. She had been so worried that her album wouldn't do well enough to convince the label to fund her tour, and here she had worried for nothing. Michelle knew her music was good, but like any artist does, she had her doubts sometimes. She couldn't wait to get back on the road.

Curious about what reviewers were saying about her album, she reached into her bookbag and took out her Mac Powerbook G4 laptop computer. She signed in to her AOL and waited patiently for it to connect to the Web.

She bit her fingernails nervously as she waited for it to dial-up.

It was great that her album was selling, but she was also really interested in what reviewers were saying about it.

Finally, the connection was ready, and Michelle quickly typed in her favorite browser, Yahoo.com. Once it loaded, in the search bar, she quickly typed in "Michelle Branch Hotel Paper".

She received three hits. She clicked on the first one. It was a review from a website she had never heard of, "Pop Matters."

She skimmed to the middle of the review, and started reading.

...Branch is a slightly more worldly 19 years of age, and her new album tries to be a bit mature. As a result, the songs are more introspective and morose, are about the lonely life on the road, and often sound just plain tired. It's like Branch is suffering from highway hypnosis; she seems to have been made sleepy by staring at the white lines on the highways, and most of the songs just lumber along at the same plodding, deliberate pace, boasting very few of the fun hooks that made her previous album so annoyingly likeable...

Michelle groaned and stopped reading.

"What do they know anyway..." she muttered. She clicked the back button and quickly clicked on the second review, this one from a music magazine she was familiar with, SPIN. Their opinion of her album meant more to her.

She cautiously started reading.

Michelle, notre belle, we feel for you. Your 2001 debut,The Spirit Room, displayed a clear readiness to rock, admirable in one so young. But when Avril Lavigne skated in, everyone forgot you because Avril was more fun to argue about. Due props, then, for sticking to your folk-rock guns (and steering clear of the Matrix) on Hotel Paper, which boasts road-toughened guitars and a welcome accusatory edge...

Michelle sighed in relief. This review was much better. She skimmed over a few more reviews, which were mostly positive, before she closed her computer, satisfied.

She was about to call her sister to tell her the good news when she heard a knock at her front door.

She looked up, surprised, she wasn't expecting anybody. She got up and walked to the door. She looked through the peephole to see Teddy standing there, smiling with a package in his hand.

Smiling, Michelle opened the door. She was happy to have someone to tell her good news to.

"Teddy!" she said happily, opening the door. "Come in! I have the best news!"

"What?" Teddy said, looking at her expectantly and closing the door behind him.

"Guess!" she said.

Teddy looked at her blankly.

"I have absolutely no idea," he said, shrugging.

She looked at him excitedly.

He laughed. "Just tell me."

"MY ALBUM IS NUMBER 2 ON THE BILLBOARD TOP 200!" she squealed, jumping up and down in excitement like a child.

Teddy's eyes went wide. He immediately dropped the package and gave Michelle a big hug.

"Wow, that is so exciting! Congratulations, Michelle!" Teddy exclaimed. He picked up the package and placed it on the door side table.

Michelle noticed it.

"What's that?" she asked, reaching for it.

Teddy shrugged. "I don't know. I found it on your doorstep."

Michelle picked up the package.

"Weird...I'm not expecting anything," she said, turning it over in her hands, inspecting it for an address. She soon found one on the upper left hand corner. It read:

3CG Records

209 N Main St,

Tulsa, OK 74103

Michelle felt her breath catch in her throat. 3CG Records? In Tulsa? That had to be Hanson's new record label they had talked about creating...maybe they'd finally done it? But what had they sent her and why? There was only one person this package could be from, she figured.

Taylor.

She carefully put it back down on the bedside table, frowning. She wasn't ready to open it yet.

"Are you okay? Who's it from?" Teddy asked, a concerned look on his face.

Michelle looked up and him and smiled a big, fake smile.

"No one. I'll open it later. Let's celebrate!"

Michelle could tell Teddy wanted to ask more about the package but she was thankful he dropped it.

"Sounds good to me!" he said. "What shall we do? Sushi and movie?"

Michelle brightened at this suggestion, which was a favorite pastime of theirs.

"Sounds good! Last one to the car drives!" she said, quickly grabbing her purse and jacket and running out the door, winking at him as she ran away.

\---

June 8, 2003  
New York City

Taylor leaned against the patio railing and gazed out at the cityscape. He sighed and took a long drag of his cigarette. The city really was beautiful. He never got sick of the view. The sun was just coming up. Lately, he'd been getting up early with the sun. He didn't know why. He'd lay in bed, listening to Natalie breathe softly, but would just stare at the ceiling until he admitted defeat and would just get up. He was starting to realize, though that these early mornings were the only time he had any time alone. Once Natalie got up, and Ezra soon after, he didn't have a moment to himself. A fog lingered at the tops of the the buildings, and they disappeared into them. It looked like the skyscrapers stretched forever into the sky.

He shivered and zipped his jacket shut. It was still pretty cold in New York. He was looking forward to the summer.

Taylor and his brothers, as well as Natalie and Ezra, had moved to New York at the beginning of the year. They had been advised that it was a good career move...or seemed to be at the time, but now it was June, and Taylor was starting to wonder if they had made the right choice.

A lot had happened since Ezra had been born last October. Taylor was amazed how quickly life had changed for him. His time on the "This Time Around" tour and with Michelle seemed like a lifetime ago. Shortly after moving to New York in January they had finally finished recording, mixing, and mastering Underneath. In February, they had gone on tour. In May, after much negotiation, they had finally been released from their contract with Island Def Jam. Shortly after, they had officially started 3CG Records as an independant record label. They were ready to release their album on their label...once it was manufactured, that is, and that it would them cost a lot of money. They had hoped the tour would help garner excitement while helping to finance it.

They had decided to do an acoustic tour to promote Underneath's upcoming scheduled release at the end of the year. They were currently on a break from tour and back home in their apartment in New York. Later in the month they started back up with a promo show in L.A. Recording, mixing, and producing the album had been a long, hard process and Taylor was grateful it was almost over. He was excited to get back on the road and play music for their fans.

Taylor would be lying if he hadn't thought more than once about seeing Michelle when he was in Los Angeles. He knew it'd be a bad idea...he figured she hated him, but he couldn't help but want to see her. He hadn't talked to her for a year. He almost couldn't believe it. He still thought about her every day and wondered how she was doing. He had hoped, with time it would get easier, but it hadn't. He still loved her. Every day he tried to forget her but his memories of her haunted him.

Him and Natalie were to celebrate their first wedding anniversary that evening. Taylor knew Natalie had plans for them; she wanted them to go out for dinner and dancing. She loved to get a sitter for Ezra and get dressed up and go out with him dancing. There was a club nearby that didn't card - since both him and Natalie were still 20 years old. Taylor disliked these outings because he felt like she was showing him off, and he didn't like that. She was also almost too friendly and wanted to talk to everyone, where Taylor would rather stay to himself.

But, despite how unhappy Taylor was in the marriage, even that early on, he wanted Natalie to be happy. He never talked about how unhappy he was. As far as anyone else was concerned, they were the happy young couple. And as far as Natalie was concerned, he had learned to be happy with her, and he wanted it to stay that way. She believed he loved her and he did, in a way, but it was very different than how he had loved Michelle.

Taylor knew Natalie hadn't asked to be a young mother and married so young. He knew being away from her family was hard for Natalie. Luckily, she had Kate, who was still dating Zac, who was still in college in Atlanta, but came to visit them in the city whenever she could. Kate would watch Ezra while he and Natalie went out. Taylor and Natalie both loved Ezra deeply, and were completely devoted to him. Natalie had settled happily into married life; she loved being a stay-at-home mother. She loved cooking and taking Ezra to the nearby Central Park while Taylor and his brothers were working. She and Ezra joined them on tour, and she loved that too. She loved talking to fans and seeing new places. She was easy-going, and Taylor knew he was lucky - it could have been much worse for him. She was a nice girl, and though over time he still didn't love her, he had learned to respect and honor her as the mother of his child. They were quite close. She was his best friend. They were young, but they had a lot of support from their family, and that helped make the transition from being regular teenagers to a married couple with a child easier.

Through the open patio door, Taylor could hear Natalie up and moving about in the kitchen, probably putting on coffee and starting breakfast. She was always the first one up. Then usually Ike, then Zac, who often slept late.

Taylor took the last drag of his cigarette and snuffed it out, kicking it off the patio. He turned and walked inside, closing the door behind him.

Natalie saw him then and greeted him warmly.

"Good morning, Tay!'

Taylor smiled at her. It was hard not too. She looked adorable in her pink and white footie pajamas.

"Good morning to you. Is that coffee?" he asked, sitting on a stool on the kitchen island.

"You bet it is!" she said, smiling as she handed him a cup of piping-hot coffee.

"Is Ezra still asleep?" he asked, sipping the coffee carefully.

"Yep." she said, taking a pan out of the cabinet and putting it on the stove.

"Eggs okay?" she asked.

Taylor nodded, still sipping his coffee.

He watched Natalie preparing breakfast and thought about the day ahead.

\---

June 22  
Los Angeles

They were scheduled to play a promo show at Lifebeat that evening. Even though they had played a few shows prior to this, Taylor considered tonight the real kick-off for the tour. After this, they were headed back home to Tulsa to play a very special show at Church Studio where they'd record Underneath in acoustic live. They planned to sell the video on tour since the real record wouldn't be released until later in the year.

They had some time to kill before the show, everyone else was sleeping so Taylor decided to drive around L.A. Being in L.A. made him think about Michelle so much more. Everything here reminded him of her.

He drove down to the Venice Boardwalk, close to where Michelle used to live. He missed her so much, he thought maybe walking around where they used to hang out may make him miss her less. He had to move on in his heart, he knew it, but didn't know if he ever would.

He parked his car in a nearby parking lot and started walking towards the boardwalk. He rounded a corner and saw a Sam Goody record store. He decided to stop in the store.

Taylor was wandering around the store, head down reading the back of a record when he ran into a into a large cardboard display, knocking it completely over, along with a stack of CDs. He stopped in his tracks, embarrassed. He looked around quickly, and not seeing any salespeople, quickly picked up the cardboard cutout and righted it.

That's when he got a good look at who's picture was on the cutout.

It was Michelle.

Taylor's breath caught in his throat. He stared at the cutout, disbelieving.

A salesperson tapped him in the shoulder then.

Taylor turned around quickly, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry..." he muttered, quickly righting the cardboard cutout and bending down to pick up the CDs on the floor. He shakily replaced him on the larger stack and stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets, unsure how to deal with seeing Michelle's face since it brought up so much emotion in him. He felt like crying.

The salesperson, a young, pretty girl with pink hair, laughed.

"It's okay. Happens all the time. No harm, no foul."

Taylor nodded, tearing his eyes away from the cutout to look at the salesperson.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "You're sweating."

"Am I?" Taylor muttered. "Sorry, it's uh, hot out."

The salesgirl gave him a look like he was pretty strange and shrugged.

"Yeah..I guess. Anyway. Have you heard of her? Michelle Branch?" She asked, and motioned towards the display. "This is her new album "Hotel Paper" it just came out this month. It's really good, actually. We've been jamming to it in the breakroom non-stop."

Taylor looked at the girl carefully, again disbelieving in the cruel irony of the situation.

"Yeah, I know her," he said quietly, trying to force a smile. "She's great."

The salesgirl studied his face, like she was trying to find an answer to something.

"You look really familiar," she said slowly.

"I guess I just have one of those faces," Taylor muttered, grateful she didn't recognize him.

She shrugged. "Guess so. So you want a copy?"

"Sure," Taylor said, without thinking.

The girl took one off the stack and handed it to him.

"Great! I can ring you up over here," she said, motioning towards the front of the store.

Taylor followed her to the cash register carrying the CD.

\---

Back in his car, Taylor opened the CD immediately and put in his CD player. The first song started to play and he sat back to listen.

As the intro played, he turned the CD over and saw the first track was titled "Are You Happy Now?"

Now  
Don't just walk away  
Pretending everything's okay and you don't care about me  
And I know it's just no use  
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care

Hearing Michelle's voice again, Taylor felt like someone had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. This song sounded so different than her last album; he could hear the anger and hurt in her voice. The bitterness wafted through the speakers and he knew right away, without a doubt, that the song was about him.

Taylor sat in his car and listened to the entire album through.

With each song, he became more and more aware that the entire album was about him. Michelle had placed references in the songs that she undoubtedly knew he'd recognize. The picture she had taken of him sleeping...the note he'd written to her on hotel paper...the prism in her window they'd seen together...listening to the album, memories and experiences he'd shared with her came back to him clear as day.

A song titled "Tuesday Morning" especially spoke to him. He suddenly realized that the day he had called her to break up with her had been a Tuesday. He knew without a doubt that the song was about that day.

Taylor was beside himself by the time the album was over. His worst fear had been realized: she knew about him sleeping with Natalie...and the pregnancy and why he had married her. He just knew it. He had wanted nothing more than to shield Michelle from the truth of why he had married Natalie, but he knew in his gut she knew.

He couldn't stay away from her any longer. He needed to talk to her. She now knew, so he had nothing to hide from her anymore. He wanted to finally apologize to her in person. Even if she screamed and yelled at him, it'd be worth it because he would see her.

He abruptly started the car and drove to her apartment.

He knocked for a while but no one answered. He looked at the mailbox and saw someone else's name and realized she was no longer living there.

He leaned against the railing, defeated.

Taylor was determined to get ahold of her and at least apologize. He took out his cell phone and tried to dial her cell number from memory, but only got a out of service notification. She must have changed her number too. Or he couldn't remember it. He wished he hadn't deleted her number.

He got back in his car, not sure what to do. He decided to drive back to the hotel not sure how else to get ahold of her.

\---

When Taylor walked through the door of their room, Ike could immediately tell something was wrong. He had been sitting on the couch playing his guitar when his brother had walked in the door looking disturbed and like he had been crying. He was clutching a CD in his hand.

"What's wrong, Tay?" Ike asked, putting down his guitar and walking up to his brother.

Taylor wasted no time.

"Ike, Michelle has a new album out and it's about me," he said as he shoved the CD in Ike's hands. Ike stared at it, bewildered. Taylor then walked over and sat down heavily on the couch, hiding his head in his hands.

"Uh," Ike said, not knowing what to say.

"Are Nat and Ezra here?" Taylor asked suddenly, looking up and and around the room.

Ike shook his head, walking over and sitting on the couch next to Taylor.

"No, she took him to the park."

Taylor leaned over and rested his elbows on his thighs, and ran his hands through his long hair.

"She knows, Ike. She knows. About why I married Natalie. About Ezra."

Ike stared blankly at his brother, not comprehending at first what he was referring to. Then he got it. He was talking about Michelle.

Isaac could tell his brother was upset, so he chose his words wisely.

"Tay, you knew she'd find out sooner or later...I mean, you two did that segment with ET...did you think she wouldn't see it?"

Taylor looked up at him sharply.

"I only agreed to it because Dad insisted and he told me the producer said it'd only air once! What was the chance she would see it!" he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

Ike shrugged. "I guess she did."

"She could have found out another way..." Taylor mused.

"I don't think so," Ike said, "I mean, neither me or Zac told her. I don't know about Zac, but I haven't spoke to her since last March when you two broke up. Like you asked." he said pointedly, like he wanted brownie points for doing as Taylor had asked.

"Okay. I know. Thanks. I'm not saying you told her...but I know she knows. I can just feel it. The lyrics on her album....Ike, I listened to it, and every single song is about me."

Ike looked at Taylor skeptically. Ike knew Taylor was sometimes full of himself, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

"Don't flatter yourself, Tay. Maybe one or two songs are about you - after all, you did write a couple about her on Underneath, but I doubt all the songs on her album are about you."

"No, it is!" Taylor insisted, taking the CD back from Ike. "There are references in here to things we did that no one knows about."

"Is there a song that explicitly says she knows about Ezra?" Ike asked.

Taylor sighed. "No, but I just know."

Ike said nothing, not convinced.

"Ike, I went to her apartment," Taylor admitted.

Ike raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah, but she wasn't there. I don't think she lives there anymore. "

"I have a confession to make." Ike sighed.

"What?"

"I sent her a copy of 'Deeper', the mixed and mastered version. I thought she'd want to hear it."

"So you know where she lives now?" Taylor asked, looking at his older brother hopefully.

Ike nodded. "But I'm not giving you the address." he said finally.

"Why not?" Taylor said angrily, "it's my business if I want to go talk to her."

"Taylor, think about this. It's all said and done. Let her move on. You hurt her very badly and if this album is any indication, maybe more badly than we realizes. You have to let her go."

Taylor looked at his brother sadly, knowing he was right. He carefully took the CD back and got off the couch, intending to go into his bedroom and listen to it again.

But as he was walking towards his room, the front door opened and Natalie came in, carrying Ezra, a huge smile on her face.

"Tay! You're back! You're not going to believe what I found, the cutest little farmers market nearby! Just down there at third and Spruce." She dropped a huge bag of produce on the floor, then placed Ezra down there too. He crawled up to the bag and grabbed an apple out of it, and then smiled as he held it out to Taylor.

"Daddy," he gurgled.

Taylor couldn't help but smile.

"What's that?" Natalie asked, referring to the CD in Taylor's hand.

"Oh, nothing,' Taylor said quickly, shoving it in his messenger bag. "Just a CD."

"Any good?" Natalie asked, as she took off her coat and hat and hung it on the rack.

"It's alright," Taylor sighed.

\---

The next day

Michelle and her band were practising at her apartment when Michelle's cell phone rang.

Few people had her cell number, so she looked at it, interested. She was surprised to see it was Ike.

She quickly excused herself, and went out onto the patio to take the call.

"Ike?" she said hopefully.

"Hey Michelle! It's me. Long time no talk."

Michelle was so happy to hear Isaac's voice.

"Ike! It's so good to hear from you!" she said genuinely, sitting down on a chair on her patio. "How's it going?"

"I'm good! How are you?"

"I'm great. We're actually leaving for the tour today. Oh my gosh, so much has happened since I talked to you," she admitted. "I don't know where to start."

"I'll bet," Ike said, "Me too. A lot has happened."

There was a silence as each of them tried to decide what to say.

Isaac broke the silence first.

"Michelle...firstly, I want to apologize for not calling you after...after, uh you and Taylor broke up. I wasn't ignoring you I just -"

"It's okay, Ike. I understand."

"No, seriously, I am sorry. Taylor asked us to not talk to you. He was so worried you'd find out about what had happened. He wanted so desperately for you not to find out about Ezra."

Michelle was silent for a moment. Hearing Taylor's son's name was still hard for her.

"Yeah, I have known about Ezra since last October, actually. I saw it on ET."

"I knew it!' Ike exclaimed. "That makes me so angry, actually. I wanted to call you so many times...to hang out with you like we used to, but Taylor begged me not to. Now I guess that was all for nothing because you found out anyway."

"It's okay, Ike. I get it. What's done is done, but it's all okay now because you called me."

Michelle really wanted to change the subject and not talk about Taylor. Hearing his name still made a tiny lump form in her throat. She'd much rather hear about how Isaac was doing and what was new with the band.

Isaac sensed Michelle wanted to change the subject and he was grateful for that, because honestly the last thing he wanted to talk to Michelle about was his brother. He'd much rather hear about the tour she had mentioned earlier in the call.

"So, you're going on tour?" Ike asked.

"I am!" Michelle said excitedly, "we leave tonight actually."

"Wow, that's so cool, Michelle. I saw you have a new album out. I haven't had a chance to listen to it, but I'm really excited to! I'm sure it's killer."

Michelle laughed. "I hope you like it! I sure spent enough time on it."

"Guess what we did?" Ike said, "we finally finished Underneath."

"You did?" Michelle asked, "Wow! Finally!"

"I know, right?" Ike laughed. "It's all mixed and mastered and off to be manufactured. We plan to release it on our new label later this year. In fact, we've been touring too. To promote it. We're playing all the songs off Underneath entirely acoustic. We're on a short break now, but later this month we head back home to record. We are going to film it and sell it as a DVD. Then we tour until November."

"Wait, back home?" Michelle asked, confused. "Where are you now?"

Isaac laughed. "Oh, I didn't tell you! Zac, Tay and I moved to New York at the beginning of the year."

"Oh, cool! Why?"

"We thought it'd be a good career move. We needed a change. After what happened in L.A., we needed a change of scenery. We finally got out of our record deal and we officially started our label."

Michelle was so happy to hear that Isaac and his brothers - even Taylor - were doing well. They deserved it after all they'd been through.

"That is so cool, Ike. I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thanks, us too. It's been a long hard road, but we finally feel like we have control of our music, you know? We have our own label, we can produce our own records from now on. No more management companies, but anyway, what about you? Your album just came out, right? Where are you touring?"

"Yeah, it came out on the 21st, actually. We're touring the midwest and the south, but we also have some southwest dates, which will be nice. I can visit my family. Maybe they can even come to my show."

"That's so great, Michelle. I'm so stoked for you."

"Thanks, Ike," Michelle smiled. "So how are you though? Dating anyone?" she teased. "Or are you still your playboy self?"

Isaac laughed. "No one special. I've been on a few dates with this girl I met in New York. Although I have a feeling I'm going to meet that one girl soon, you know? I don't know why, I can just feel it."

"Do you still talk to Marit?"

"Yeah, I do actually. Here and there. She's good. Her and Marion are kind of going solo now. What about you? Any special guy in your life?"

"Not really...I mean, well sort of. It's complicated. Do you remember Teddy? My bass player?"

"Sort of."

"Yeah, you may have met him briefly when he played with me on your tour. Anyway, him and I sort of have something going on...but we haven't really talked about it, you know? I don't want to make anything weird, since we're going on tour and all., I'm being secretive I know, but I just don't want to complicate things with us."

"Yup, I know how that is," Isaac said.

"Anyway, how's Zac doing?" Michelle asked, steering the topic away from her love life.

"He's good. He doesn't really like New York."

That didn't surprise Michelle.

"Is he still dating Kate?"

"Yup. They'll probably get married someday," Isaac laughed. "They're so perfect together it's kind of gross."

"Tell him I said hi?" Michelle asked.

"Of course. You should call him sometime. I'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

Michelle could hear Teddy yelling for her. She realized she was keeping her band waiting.

"Ike, listen, we're right in the middle of practice. They're all getting annoyed I'm taking so long. Can we catch up more later?"

"Of course," Isaac said, "call me anytime. In fact, we're going to be in L.A. in August - maybe we could hang out?"

Michelle hesitated for a moment before answering. She really wanted to see Ike, but the possibility of running into Taylor made her skin crawl. She decided it was worth the risk. After all, there was a time when she considered Isaac her best friend.

"Of course! Call me when you're in town. I should be back from tour by then."

"Will do, Michelle. Hey, it was great talking to you."

"You too, buddy. Later gater," and with that, Michelle hung up her phone and returned to practice.

"Who was that?" Teddy asked, "You took forever." he said with mock irritation.

"Sorry, Teddy. Just an old friend."

Michelle wasn't sure why she didn't want to tell Teddy who had been on the phone. Maybe it would open a can of worms she didn't want to discuss. Or maybe she just liked it being her little secret.

Teddy smiled at her warmly.

"It's okay, we started jamming and came up with something cool. Wanna hear it?" he asked.

"You bet I do," Michelle said, picking up her guitar and slinging it over her shoulder.


	22. "Goodbye To You"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys continue the Underneath Acoustic tour. Taylor continues to struggle in his marriage. Isaac meets Nikki. Michelle and her sister have a difficult conversation. Taylor discovers something disturbing a the drugstore. Michelle continues to ignore Taylor's calls. Underneath is finally released. Teddy proposes to Michelle.

  
-  
Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything that I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold onto  
-  


Sept 13, 2003, Salt Lake City

It was just another night playing another gig on this long "Acoustic Tour" that Taylor and his brothers were doing to help promote their upcoming album. Taylor was outside the venue taking a cigarette break after a long day of rehearsal for tonight's sold-out show. Taylor and his brothers decided to do this tour acoustic as a way to not only promote their upcoming album, but to reconnect with their fans again, because it had been a long time since they'd gone on tour.

Ever since the "This Time Around" tour ended Taylor and his brothers kind disappeared from public eye and dedicated themselves to long hours in the studio. Over the course of almost three years they recorded over 80 songs that they showed to their previous label "Island Def Jam", only for the label to reject almost every single one of their songs. It had been months since they ended all ties with Island Def Jam and went on their own. They were now preparing for the album's release.

That had been hardest time not only for the band, but for Taylor and his brothers individually too. Isaac had a health scare earlier in the year after they played a show. Zac was growing up all too quickly. Zac didn't live on his own quite yet, but the simple fact he moved to New York City with Isaac and Taylor as they were getting ready to launch their own record label, that, along with the fact that he was also in a committed relationship, proved to Taylor Zac was far more mature than Isaac and him combined. Taylor felt proud of Zac, because he knew Zac would never make the mistakes he did.

As Taylor took a drag of his cigarette, he thought back to the last three years. His life had changed completely from the moment he met Michelle three years ago and started a relationship with her a year later. Despite the fact they were only together for four months, it had been the most amazing four months of his life. It's true he and Michelle had fallen in love with one another hard and fast, but everything about their time together had just felt right. Taylor knew in his heart if he hadn't slept with Natalie and gotten her pregnant, he and Michelle would still be together, maybe even married, who knows, but, because of his own stupidity, he had messed up everything. Only thing Taylor had now was his music and his son. Despite how unhappy he was in his marriage, he loved his son. Ezra was the best thing to come out of the whole situation.

Taylor was taken out of his thoughts when Isaac approached him.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" Isaac asked him.

"I just needed to clear my head before the show starts" Taylor answered back.

"Do you want some company, man?"

"Sure." Taylor said.

Both were silent for a few moments, until Isaac spoke up.

"You're thinking about her aren't you?" Isaac asked boldly.

Taylor looked at Isaac and just nodded his head.

"I think about her a lot when we tour, and there's less to distract me. I wish so badly she was here, Ike."

"Tay, why do you torture yourself? You've been married for over a year now. You need to let Michelle go."

Taylor looked up at his brother angrily. He hated when Isaac tried to tell him how to feel.

"Ike, I can't! Believe me, I have tried to get her out my head, but I just can't. Every morning, I wake up thinking that she is going to be right here beside me like she always was and when I turn to look, she isn't the one there, Natalie is. The only time I'm with Michelle is when I sleep. Every night before I go to sleep, I think about her and wonder if she misses me like I miss her."

Taylor lit another cigarette before continuing.

"I keep having this dream... that we'll playing a show and I look out into the crowd hoping to see her and when I do, I stop playing to go to where she's standing and every single time I manage to get within arm's reach of her, she disappears." Taylor tells his brother as he takes another drag of his cigarette.

"Tay, you really need to let go of this fantasy. You and Michelle are not together anymore. I know you love her man, but she isn't yours to love anymore." Isaac told his brother carefully.

Taylor looked at Isaac suspiciously.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Taylor asked harshly.

Isaac looked at his brother and he had a flashback to the phone conversation he had with Michelle a couple months back.

(Flashback)

"Any special guy in your life?"

"Not really...I mean, well sort of. It's complicated. Do you remember Teddy? My bass player?"

"Sort of."

"Yeah, you may have met him briefly when he played with me on your tour. Anyway, him and I sort of have something going on...but we haven't really talked about it, you know? I don't want to make anything weird, since we're going on tour and all."

"Yup, I know how that is," Isaac said.

(Flashback ends)

"Ike!" Taylor yelled out taking Isaac out his thoughts.

"What!" Isaac answered back rudely.

"Do you know something I don't know about Michelle? Has she moved on?" Taylor asked with both anger and fear in his voice.

Isaac was quiet for a moment, but then spoke up.

"I don't know" He said lying. "But if she did move on, she has every right to. You can't expect her to wait for you Tay, when you and I both know you'll never go back to her".

"Why would you say that? I mean Michelle knows the truth now, in reality there isn't anything that could keep us apart anymore." Taylor said boldly as he smiled. "I could...leave Natalie and be with Michelle again."

Isaac looked at his brother surprised for he couldn't believe his brother's own selfishness.

"What about your wife and son? Just because Michelle knows the truth now Taylor, doesn't mean that absolves you of your responsibility to your family!" Isaac reminded his brother harshly.

Taylor's smile faded after Isaac's remark, because he knew his brother was right.

"This isn't fair, man! I made one mistake and it costs me the girl I love. Ike, I love Natalie, but I'm not in love with her and I never will be! Michelle is the one I love and who I'll always love." Taylor said after he put out his cigarette.

Isaac put his arm on Taylor's shoulder and tried to comfort his brother, for it hurt him to see his younger brother miserable.

"I really wish things could be different for you, man." Isaac told Taylor with all sincerity.

"So do I, Ike."

"Come on, we better get back in there, we have a show to do. Zac will have our heads if we're not ready." Isaac said in a joking manner.

"Yeah." Taylor answered back.

As they walked back into the venue, Isaac said these words to Taylor...

"I wonder if I'll ever find that special girl like you and Zac did."

Taylor looked over at Isaac.

"You will, man."

"You think so?" Isaac asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I do. When you do met her, don't let anything or anyone come between you guys, or else you'll end up like me." Taylor said with such sadness in his voice as he walked over to his piano.

"Let's hope." Isaac said to himself.

\---

September 19, 2003

New Orleans

Despite the exhaustion that always comes towards the end of a tour, the guys were especially excited to play in New Orleans. It was a city with much history and character, and the crowds there were always great. Isaac had had this strange feeling all day, he couldn't really describe it, but it felt exciting, like something interesting and unexpected was about to happen.

As they took the stage, something compelled Isaac to look to the left and up in the balcony.

There stood what Isaac was sure was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She looked like a model: tall, lean, long brown hair and was wearing a white dress. She was smiling widely, whispering to a friend next to her. He just stared at her. He couldn't look away.

"Uh, Ike?" Zac said.

Isaac then realized his brother was tapping him on the shoulder. He tore his gaze off the unknown woman and turned to look at his brother.

"Yeah?"

"What were you staring at?" Zac asked, confused.

"This woman..." Isaac's words trailed off. He looked back up at the balcony.

Zac looked up at the balcony, following his brother's gaze.

"Weeelll... there's a lot of those here, take your pick," Zac joked.

Isaac looked up to point her out, but the girl was gone. Where she had been standing, a different woman now stood. Isaac felt a pang of disappointment. He sighed and glumly looked back down and adjusted his guitar on his shoulder.

"She's gone. She was just there..." he said.

Zac shrugged. "No worries. I'm sure you'll spot her again. This place isn't that big."

He then jogged back and took his place behind the drums and waited for the signal from Taylor to start.

Isaac continued to stare at where the girl had been standing, wishing she'd appear again.

"Yeah, maybe..." he muttered to himself.

After a moment, Isaac could feel eyes burning a hole in the back of his head.

Isaac turned to see Taylor giving him the dirtiest of looks. Isaac knew that look. It was the look Taylor gave him when he felt he wasn't ready to start and he should be.

"Okay, okay," Isaac mouthed to his impatient brother. He then spoke into the microphone.

"Hello, New Orleans? Are you ready to rock?"

The crowd exploded into frenzied screams and cheers as the band starting playing the first song in their set.

Periodically throughout the show, Isaac would steal glances up at the balcony, and around the venue, hoping to see the woman again, but she didn't reappear.

Until suddenly, during Crazy Beautiful he saw her again, this time pushing her way closer to the stage. He threw a guitar pick at her and mouthed "after?". She caught it, smiled and nodded.

After the show, Isaac and his brothers joined hands and bowed, he was the first to walk off stage. He headed straight to the green room. Soon after, his brothers joined him in there.

Taylor could tell immediately his brother was still distracted and asked what was up.

"Oh, nothing." Isaac said as he changed his sweaty shirt and put on a jacket.

Taylor raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, "nothing" was why you were distracted the whole show?"

"I wasn't distracted," Isaac sighed.

Zac chimed in.

"He saw a girl,"

"Really." Taylor said sarcastically. "You saw a girl? At a Hanson show?"

"Yeah, Tay, but she wasn't just any girl..."

"Why don't you come out with us and sign some autographs? Maybe she's out there waiting," Taylor said, taking a swig of his water bottle.

Zac nodded in agreement. "It's worth a shot, bro."

The three went outside behind the venue and were greeted by a large group of fans shivering in the cold, holding items like CDs and shirts hoping for a glimpse of the guys.

The guys warmly greeted the fans who immediately surrounded them, followed by excited shrieks and clicking cameras. The guys then spread out, knowing that was the best way to talk to as many fans as they could. Isaac signed autograph after autograph, but still no sign of the woman in white he'd seen earlier.

Suddenly, he couldn't believe his luck, he saw her standing off to the side of the bus, with the group of girls talking to Zac. Isaac knew this was his chance. He politely excused himself from the group of fans crowded around him. He felt bad because they were obviously disappointed, but he knew this was his only chance to talk to that woman he'd seen earlier.

Isaac rushed over and stood beside Zac. He knew he had to play it cool.

He couldn't help but stare at her as she chatted with Zac. She was even more beautiful up close, he thought.

Zac turned to Isaac and Isaac gave him a look. Zac knew immediately that was the woman his brother had been talking about. He knew he had to facilitate a connection between the two.

"Uh, it was Nikki right?" Zac asked, smiling at the woman. "This is my brother Isaac, I think he wanted to meet you,"

Isaac turned bright red, but put his hand out for the woman to shake. She shook his hand and smiled at him but didn't say anything. She seemed star-struck. Her and Isaac made eye contact. Her friend gave her a little push and whispered something in her ear.

"Hey, I'm Nikki'" she said suddenly.

"Very pleased to meet you," Isaac said.

"The pleasure's all mine," the girl replied, smiling up at him, not breaking eye contact.

Zac rolled his eyes at his brother's formality, but if Zac knew anything, he knew that when Isaac got nervous, like in the company of a pretty girl, he got all awkward, formal and polite.

Zac watched as his brother and Nikki walked away chatting, completely engrossed in each other. 

Zac walked over to Taylor and leaned in, whispering in his ear in a sing-song voice.

"Looks like Ike met someeeeooooonnnneee,"

Taylor looked up sharply from the CD he was signing and gave his brother a irritated look.

"What? Who? Ike?"

Zac nodded his head in the direction the two had walked off. They watched Isaac open the door of their tour bus and escort Nikki in.

Taylor rolled his eyes. "Great. He shouldn't be picking up groupies."

"I don't know," Zac mused, taking a CD from another fan, quickly signing it and handing it back to her.

"Something tells me this one may be different."

\---

January 2004

(Michelle's Apartment in Los Angeles)

Michelle was in the middle of cleaning her apartment up when her sister walked in with a package in her hand.

"Hey sis!

Michelle turned to face her sister.

"Hey! She said to her sister with a smile on her face.

"You got mail apparently." Nicole said to Michelle as she gestured towards the package.

Michelle stopped what is she currently doing and walked over to her sister.

"Really? I wonder what it could be?"

"I don't know, all I know is that it came addressed to you." Nicole told her sister as she handed her the package.

Michelle took the package and opened it up to see what it was.

"What is it?" Nicole asked in a curious tone of voice.

"It's from "Maxim" magazine. It's the photo shoot I shot last month. They told me that I would be the "cover girl" for the January Issue, I guess this is it." Michelle said while staring at the cover of the magazine that's in her hands now.

"Wow, I didn't know you agree to do a photo spread for "Maxim. I'm little surprised, because normally that isn't something you would do." Nicole said while eyeing her sister suspiciously.

"You're right, normally I wouldn't. A year ago, I would have declined "Maxim's" offer, because I would have been scared as shit, wondering what people would think of me, but after everything that has happened in the last year, I don't give a damn about what people think of me anymore. Either "you love me or you hate me", that's my new motto." Michelle said with such bold confidence.

"Can I see it?" Nicole asked meekly.

Michelle handed Nicole the magazine.

Nicole takes one look at the cover and was shocked, for she couldn't believe her sister had the guts to do this kind of spread.

"Wow, you're practically - "

"Yeah, I know." Michelle said, cutting her off, feeling a bit annoyed for she feels her sister is ready to judge her.

Nicole looked at Michelle with shock and disbelief, but didn't say anything.

Michelle couldn't take the silence and decided to speak up.

"All right, let's hear it." Michelle told her sister.

"What?" Nicole asked dumbfoundedly.

"Let's hear you're disapproval of my decision to do this Maxim spread. I can see it in your eyes... you think I made a huge mistake in doing this." Michelle said in a defensive tone of voice.

"Okay, first of all lower the tone. Second, I'm not here to judge you Michelle, you did what you did and I admire your courage." Nicole sincerely told her sister.

Michelle was stunned by her sister's admission for she was expecting something entirely different.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean I don't really agree with it, but it was your choice and you seem to be okay with it, therefore so am I."

"Thanks Nikki. I'm sorry for going off on you like I did, it's just I know a lot people are not going to be too happy when they see this cover."

"Like our parents for one, Teddy and..." Michelle was about to finished the rest of her sentence until her sister cut her off.

"A certain guy from your past?" Nicole said while staring at her sister in the eye.

Michelle just looked at her sister for a moment and let her words sink in.

"Yeah." Michelle said softly for she had no idea how Taylor would react if he saw this Maxim spread. Michelle prayed he wouldn't.

\---

(A couple days later)

(Isaac, Taylor and Zac's Apartment in NYC)

Taylor was outside on the balcony smoking a cigarette. It was just another cold morning here in the New York. Taylor didn't mind the cold weather, but it wasn't exactly his cup of tea. New York was so much different weather wise from Los Angeles. Taylor remembered even at this time of the year in Los Angeles you could still wear a light jacket out as you enjoyed the sunny skies and cool breeze. During his time in Los Angeles Taylor remembers all the times he and Michelle would take a walk down to the beach in the wee hours of the morning. It was one of his and Michelle's favorite things to do. Watching the sunrise over the horizon as he held her in his arms while whispering sweet things into her ear as she was trying to stay awake for she wasn't a morning person...

Taylor found himself remembering those kind of moments more and more each day, because they represented a happy time in his life, a time where everything was so simple. He missed that part of his life, and he missed Michelle. He wondered if he'd ever stop missing her.

Taylor took a drag of his cigarette, for he found himself smoking more and more each day, but smoking helps calm his nerves. Aside from breaking up with Michelle and getting married to Natalie and having Ezra, there was the issue of the release of Hanson's much anticipated third studio album "Underneath."

Taylor and his brothers had invested so much of their time and money in the release of "Underneath." Throughout most of last year, they played acoustic shows to help promote the album and generated much enthusiasm from the public. Overall, he knew Hanson still had a loyal fanbase, given the fact most of the shows from the "Acoustic Tour" sold out. Despite all that Taylor couldn't help, but think if this album will ever really happen, considering the fact it has yet to be released. Until that day happens, only then will Taylor feel at ease with the decision he and his brothers made in going independent.

Taylor was lost in his thoughts until he heard at tap on the patio door. He turned his head in the direction of the noise and saw Zac was signaling him to come in.

Taylor just rolled his eyes in annoyance, but he knew Zac would only interrupt him if it was something important.

Taylor took one last drag of his cigarette and put it out on the ashtray and he walked back into the apartment.

"What's going on?" Taylor asks Zac as he closed the patio door behind him.

"Dad wants to talk to us. He's in the living room."

"Okay, what about?" Taylor asks inquisitively.

"You got me bro!" Zac answers back while shrugging his shoulders...

"Let's go and see." Zac said as he walked down the hallway with Taylor following him.

Zac and Taylor walked into the living room. They see that Isaac is ready there sitting one of the couches as their father is leaning on the armchair seat.

"Taylor and Zac have a seat." Walker gestures to them.

Taylor and Zac both take a seat next to Isaac.

"So what did you need to talk to us about Dad?" Isaac asked.

"Well, I just got off the phone with producer of "GMA" and they want you guys to perform on this Friday's show. I said "yes", because I figured you guys would need the publicity for the release of the upcoming album. So what you guys think?" Walker asked his sons.

"I think that's great Dad! We could use all publicity we can get for the release of "Underneath" Isaac said excitedly.

"Yeah, I agree!" Zac said in an equally enthusiastic tone of voice.

Thanks Dad for doing this." Zac said with appreciation.

"Yeah, thanks Dad! Isaac said.

Walker smiled at Isaac and Zac, but he looked concern when he notices Taylor isn't making eye contact with him and sees he looks distracted.

"Taylor?"

Taylor looks at his father.

"What?" He simply answered.

"What do you think?" Walker asked him.

"About what?" Taylor answered back indifferently.

"About the gig on "GMA?" Walker said.

"It's cool." Taylor said with no emotion in his voice.

Walker had not neglected to notice that Taylor was still being cold with him, and quite frankly he was sick of it.

"Can you show at least some gratitude?" Walker asked in a harsh tone of voice.

Taylor just looked at his father in disbelief and scoffs.

"Unbelievable. We didn't need your help Dad, we did everything on our own, but sure thanks!" Taylor said with such sarcasm in his voice. "We can handle our own band."

Isaac and Zac immediately started to feel uncomfortable with the tension that still lingered between their brother and father.

Taylor got up and out of his seat and proceeded to walk out.

"Where are you going?" Walker asked.

"Out!" Taylor answered back harshly while grabbing his jacket and scarf and slammed the door behind him.

After walking out, Taylor walked down the street just to clear his head. Taylor hated fighting with his father, but quite frankly he was still very angry with his father for his part in his breakup with Michelle. Taylor knew he should let go of that anger, but he just couldn't. He felt like his father didn't give him the choice to be with who he really wanted to be with. Taylor felt that his father made the choice for him and that is something Taylor can't get past. Perhaps the most sadly thing of all is, that Taylor no longer felt like his father was "on his side" or had his interests at heart, and that was a hard pill to swallow.

As he walked, he thought about how maybe it was time to leave New York. It wasn't really doing anything for their careers. They could more easily run their label out of Tulsa, anyway. He knew they had a gig lined up for later in the month, to open for Les Paul at a jazz club, but he made a note to talk to Ike about it when he got home later. He knew Zac would be on-board to move back home. He wouldn't have to convince him.

Taylor continued walking down the street until he hit a convenience store. He decided to go in, considering the fact he was running low on cigarettes and needed to reload on them.

Taylor walked into the store and grabbed a box of cigarettes and was going to grab something to eat too. As Taylor scanned the aisles, a certain magazine cover caught his attention. He picked up the Maxim magazine and was shocked to see who was on the cover of it.

It was Michelle. What shocked Taylor the most was the fact that here was his ex-girlfriend on the cover of a men's magazine wearing practically nothing at all.

"Hey buddy! Are you going to buy that or not?" the salesperson asked in annoyance.

"What?" Taylor asked in confusion.

"The magazine. Are you going to buy it or not? Because, if you think going to come in here and scan it for free then you've got another thing coming," the salesperson said rudely.

Taylor looked at the magazine and then he walked up to the cashier and put the magazine and the carton of cigarettes down on the counter as the salesperson began to ring them up.

Taylor paid for his purchases and walked out of the store and proceed to walk back to the apartment. Once he was home he quietly went into his room and close the door behind him. He was so grateful that Natalie wasn't home right now, for she took Ezra to Atlanta to visit her family.

Taylor needed to see the rest of Michelle's pictures in this Maxim Issue. Taylor knew he shouldn't be looking at them, but he couldn't help himself, he needed to see how far Michelle went in stripping down for these pictures.

Taylor took the magazine out the bag and proceeded to look at Michelle's pictures. He was shocked to see the clothes Michelle wore in some of the photos, if that's what you can call them and how naked she was in other photos. Taylor couldn't help, but feel hurt for he couldn't believe how easily Michelle could take off all her clothes for the male population. Does she not know there are sleazy men out there that are eyeing her photos and probably wanting to nail her in order to fulfill some sick fantasy of theirs.

Taylor knew he didn't own Michelle's body, but he couldn't help, but feel a certain amount of jealousy, because for the longest time he was the only guy who saw her naked. He took her virginity. That meant something to him. He remembered how timid she was to be naked with him at times, but eventually she found herself feeling comfortable with him, because she knew he looked at her with love not like she was a piece of meat to him.

Taylor kept staring at the photos and despite how upset he was right now, he couldn't help but think Michelle looked beautiful in these photos, but there was something that caught his eye though. Despite her doing sexy poses for these pictures and looking very seductive, he knows the sadness in her eyes.

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul and Taylor sees a sadness in Michelle's eyes, does she miss him just as much he misses her? For he would give anything right now to just see and hold her again.

"Taylor!" he hears Natalie call out to him.

Taylor quickly puts Michelle's Maxim Issue in his computer bag as Natalie opens the door.

"Hey!" Taylor said.

"Hey!" Natalie answered back.

"When did you get back?" Taylor asked.

Natalie had been visiting her mother for the week in Atlanta.

"Just a few minutes ago. Ezra fell asleep on the way home, so I put him down for a nap." Natalie answered back.

"Okay." Taylor said.

"Lunch will be ready soon," she said, turning and walking towards the kitchen.

Taylor put his computer bag deep into the closet for he did not want Natalie to ever see he has Michelle's Maxim Issue, for that would open up a huge can of worms, he frankly didn't want to deal with.

Taylor closed the closet door and walked out of his room and towards the kitchen to join his wife for lunch.

\---

(Flashback)

October 2003

Isaac had some time to kill between soundcheck and showtime, so he decided to give Michelle a call.

She answered after two rings.

"Hey Ike!" she said happily, "how are you?"

"I'm great, how are you Michelle?" he said, happy to hear her voice.

"I am so good! How's the tour going?"

"Great. We're in Canada now. We had a bit of a break, which was nice. This is our first show back on the tour."

"Canada, eh?"

"Funny," Isaac said.

"When are you done?" she asked.

"Next month. Then we go back to New York, but hey, I wanted to tell you something."

"What?" Michelle asked, interested.

"I met someone,"

"You did?"

"I did. In New Orleans. Her name is Nikki. She is so great, Michelle. I think she's the one."

"Wow," Michelle said. She knew how badly Isaac wanted to meet that special woman. She was so glad he finally had.

"I'm so happy for you, Ike."

"Thanks, Michelle. I hope you can meet her sometime. She's so nice. You'd like her."

"I hope so too." Michelle said honestly. "And guess what? You remember that Teddy guy I told you about before? Well, after the tour, he and I got pretty serious.

"Wow," Isaac said, clearly surprised. "That is so great, Michelle. I am so beyond stoked for you. You deserve it."

Michelle smiled. "Thanks, Ike. You're right. I do."

(Flashback ends)

\---

March 2004

Nearly two months have passed since Taylor saw the pictures of Michelle in Maxim magazine, needless to say Michelle was still very present in Taylor's mind. Taylor tried not to think about her, but it's like she is everywhere to him. He'll hear her songs on the radio or he'll see a young couple being all lovey-dovey with one another and it reminded him of the times he had with Michelle. It's like she won't let him be.

It didn't help that she had played a small part in the recording of "Underneath." She was there through the process of it. Taylor came to the conclusion he needed to talk to her even if she yelled at him for his betrayal, he didn't care, he just needed to hear her voice again, because it's driving him crazy. Maybe then he could move on if he had closure.

Taylor saw that Isaac's phone was on the kitchen counter, Taylor looked around to see if anyone was near and when he sees no one is in sight, he grabbed Isaac's phone and began to scan through its contacts. Taylor knew Isaac had been keeping in touch with Michelle, so therefore Taylor knew his brother had Michelle's number and Taylor intended to get it.

He looked into Isaac's contact list and saw Michelle's name and number. Taylor wrote the number down on piece of paper. He put Isaac's phone back on the counter and took the piece of paper that has Michelle's number on it and Taylor walked back into his room closing the door behind him.

Taylor dialed Michelle's number and waited for her to pick up on the other end. She didn't pick up and he got her voicemail. Taylor so desperately wanted to talk to her, but he figured he would leave her a message. He just hoped that she would return his call even though he knows that there's a slim chance of that happening.

"Hi Michelle, it's me Taylor. I know it's been awhile since we last spoke to each other, but the reason I'm calling you is to tell you that the new record "Underneath" will be released officially next month and my brothers and I are acknowledging the people who gave their time to help us with the record. You're one of those people, so I wanted to see how you would like to be "thanked" on the record."

"Give me a call back when you can, I would really love to hear from you. I really miss you." Taylor said with such sadness in his voice.

"Bye." He whispered as he ends the call.

Later in the day Michelle sees she had a missed call. She listens to her voicemail and is stunned when she hears Taylor's voice. After she hears the message, Michelle contemplates if she should return Taylor's call, because she too misses him as well, but she decides not to, because she doesn't want to hurt anymore, she knows she will if she talks to him. She deletes the message pretending like she never heard it, just like she pretends that her time Taylor never existed.

\---

April 2004

Michelle was in the middle of writing a new song when she heard her phone ringing, she saw who it was and smiled as she answered the call.

"Hey Ike! What's up?"

"Hey Michelle! I just wanted to call you to tell you the good news."

"What good news?" Michelle asked.

"Well our record "Underneath" is officially out tomorrow!" Isaac said with such excitement in his voice.

"Really?" "That's great Ike! I'm so happy for you, Zac and Tay. Considering all you guys went through to make this record." Michelle said with admiration and respect.

"Thanks. I didn't know if you knew about the record coming out tomorrow. I mean Taylor told me he left you a message last month."

"Yeah, he did, I just didn't call him back for obvious reasons." Michelle said with a trace of sadness in her voice.

Isaac decided to change the conversation he knew Taylor was a sore subject still for Michelle.

"Anyway, there's another reason why I called you, you see we're having this launch party in honor of the release of the record and it's tomorrow. I know it's short notice and everything, but I was really hoping you would come, considering the fact I consider you one of my close friends. You could see our studio in Tulsa..." Isaac told Michelle.

"Wow, I'm flattered, but I'm sorry Ike, I can't make it. I have a rehearsal with my band all this week. We're trying to record new material for a future album." Michelle said lying.

"I understand. It was great talking to you again Michelle."

"You too Ike."

"Bye." He tells her as she says her goodbye to him and the call ends.

Isaac knew Michelle didn't want come to the party, because of Taylor. He knows she is still very angry with Taylor for what he did to her and in all honestly Isaac doesn't blame Michelle for feeling the way she does, Taylor made a fool out of her when he lied to her about his tryst with Natalie. Isaac can't help but think things will never be the same between all of them for Hanson's relationship/friendship with Michelle were destroyed due to Taylor's betrayal. Things would never be the same again.

\---

May 2004

(LAX Airport-Early Morning)

After weeks of working non-stop in writing and recording new music for a future album, Michelle decided to take up her now-boyfriend Teddy's offer of them taking a trip somewhere to blow off some stream. It had been a while since Michelle took a vacation, because she has been busying touring and writing new material for a good part of a year now.

She thought this vacation would do both her and Teddy some good considering the fact they have never gotten away together since they start dating almost eight months ago.

Michelle liked Teddy very much, he was there for her during her darkest times. For that she feels she owes him her life, because who knows what would have become of her considering all she lost. He gave her hope to believe in and for that she will be forever grateful to him.

During their time together, they grew close to one another. Before Michelle could even realize it, she found herself developing strong feelings for Teddy. She may even love him, it's been awhile since she felt that way.

Michelle is so lost in her thoughts she doesn't hear Teddy calling out to her.

"Michelle! Michelle!" Teddy said.

Michelle was taken out her thoughts and turned her head slightly to face Teddy.

"What?"

"On our flight is boarding now." Teddy tells her while gesturing to the terminal gate.

Michelle looks in the direction Teddy is pointing to.

"Right, we should get going. Mexico here we come!" Michelle said with such excitement in her voice as she grabbed her carry on and took a hold of Teddy's hand as they walked towards the terminal gate where their flight was boarding.

About an hour later Michelle and Teddy landed in Cancun and after taking a shuttle bus to the hotel and checking in, they decided that they would unpack later. For right now they wanted to go do some tourist stuff.

They spent the day snorkeling. By the time sunset came, Michelle and Teddy decided to go out to dinner so they went back to their hotel room to shower and change.

During dinner Michelle seems distant as she occasionally would stare out to the horizon to see the ocean waves hitting the shores. Teddy excused himself to go to the restroom. Michelle was left alone for a few minutes while she was picking away at food, for she really wasn't that hungry.

A young couple walked in Michelle's direction as her table was fairly close to the balcony. The young teenaged couple went onto the balcony to talk.

Michelle turned her head slightly in the young couple's direction and saw that the guy proposed to the girl and she accepted his proposal. She sees the guy putting the engagement ring on her finger. As he gathered the girl in his arms as they share a kiss.

"We'll be together forever?" Michelle heard the young girl asks her boyfriend.

"Forever. It's you and me." Michelle heard the guy said in a gentle voice as he caressed his girlfriend's face and leaned in to give her a kiss.

Michelle just looked at young couple as they were basking away in the glow of their happiness.

Michelle smiled sadly, because this young couple reminded her of her and Taylor and what they were like. Instantly the memories of her and Taylor plagued her mind again. Michelle knew she will never truly get over Taylor, but she needed to let him go.

Michelle saw Teddy coming back and decided to pry her eyes away from that young couple and smiled at him when he took his seat again.

"Hey you!" Michelle said.

"Hey to you too!" Teddy said while taking a hold of one of her hands.

They continued to eat their dinner. Afterwards they took a walk on the beach.

All is silent, until Teddy spoke up.

"Michelle, are you happy with me?" Teddy asked.

Michelle was a little taken back because she couldn't understand why Teddy would asks her that.

"Yeah, I am."

"Do you love me Michelle?" Teddy asked looking worried what her answer will be.

"Yes, I do love you. I know I don't say it as much, but I do. What's going on? Why are you asking me these questions?" Michelle asked with suspicion in her eyes wondering what Teddy is getting at.

"Because there is something, I want to ask you."

\---

(A week later)

(Isaac and Taylor's Apartment in Tulsa)

Taylor and his brothers were in the living room of his and Ike's apartment working on a new song. They had come back to visit family. They still kept their apartment to stay in while they were in town.

As much Taylor wanted to stay in New York, he realized he hasn't seen much of his mother and other siblings as of late, so he figured he should accompany Ike and Zac back home, because who knows when they will have a chance to come back home to Tulsa. Their schedule was already packed as it is with them doing a world tour and all.

Natalie didn't accompany Taylor on this trip, due to the fact she wanted to visit her family in Georgia, so she took Ezra with her. Taylor understood why Natalie chose not to come to Tulsa with him. Ever since they got married, she has been homesick. It's been a long time since she last saw her family.

In all sincerity Taylor was happy to be without Natalie for a few days, he loves to have her around, but lately they been fighting a lot.

Zac decided he wants to take a break from their jamming session to watch some T.V. Zac flips through the channels until Taylor yells at him to settle on just one channel.

Zac rolls his eyes in annoyance, but eventually sets on one channel "Entertainment Tonight". Isaac goes to get a beer for himself he then plops himself on the couch next to Zac. Meanwhile Taylor is busying looking at his notes.

Isaac and Zac are watching the screen, but they not really paying attention to the news.

"Welcome to E.T. I'm your host Mary Hart, tonight we will be discussing the sudden marriage and divorce of pop music princess Britney Spears."

Isaac just rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Zac, why are we watching this crap?" Isaac asked his younger brother.

"Because, there's nothing else to watch on T.V." Zac answers uninterested in current "ET" segment.

Britney's sudden marriage was the hot topic talk of the year so far.

According to reports she married her childhood sweetheart Jason Allen Alexander in Vegas only for them to divorce over two days later. Zac couldn't understand how people could view marriage like that. He and his brothers were raised with the belief that marriage was a sacred vow one makes before the eyes of God. It represented a commitment between two people. Zac found it disgusting that people like Britney viewed it as playing a game. Zac couldn't speak for his brothers, but he knew for sure, without a doubt, the day he gets married to Kate he vows to be there for her in both good and bad times.

Isaac was about to change the channel until a certain new segment emerges onto the screen. Michelle's song "Are You Happy Now?" plays in the background as a clip of Michelle is shown, which immediately grabs attention of all Hansons especially Taylor who was so engrossed with his notes, but stopped the moment he heard Michelle's music being played..

"In case Britney decided to get married a second time around, there is one other pop star that beat her to the altar and that is Michelle Branch who recently married her bass playerTeddy Landau."

"What?!" Taylor said out loud while getting up from his seat and walking towards the T.V. Isaac and Zac are shocked by this news and keep their eyes on their brother, because they know this news had to be devastating for him.

"How did this marriage come about? Well ET caught up with the young starlet and her new hubby at children's charity event in West Hollywood."

A interview clip is shown featuring Michelle and Teddy on the red carpet being interviewed."

"So congrats to the both of you on your marriage."

"Thank you" both the newlyweds said with smiles on their faces.

"So Michelle, dish out the details how did this marriage come about?" the nosy host asked.

"Well, we were on a trip in Mexico and one night after a romantic dinner Teddy proposed to me and obviously I said "yes". So we eloped!" Michelle excitedly.

"I knew she was the one for me and I said to myself "I have to marry this amazing and beautiful girl", before someone else snatched her away." Teddy told the interviewer as he pulled Michelle closer to him.

"Aww, so sweet! Congrats again you guys, I wish you the best in your marriage." the host said with such fakeness.

(The segment ends)

Isaac motions to Zac turn the T.V. off now. Which Zac does instantly. There is unusual silence in the air, for both Isaac and Zac are afraid to say anything.

Taylor is left stunned by this news, he barely said anything, which worried both Isaac and Zac, because they knew that this news came as a harsh blow to their brother who secretly still loved and wanted Michelle.

Eventually Zac decided to speak up to diffuse the lingering tension that is in the air.

"Tay", he began to say until Taylor cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said as he began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Isaac said in a confusing tone of voice.

"To my room. Don't follow me! I wanna be alone right now." Taylor said as he opened the door to his bedroom and slammed it shut.

Isaac and Zac shared a worried look.

"Oh boy!" Zac said. "Poor Tay."

Alone in his room Taylor paced around the room trying ease both his nerves and his anger that was boiling right now.

"I can't believe she got married!" Taylor told himself.

Taylor always believed in some naive way that Michelle would never get married, not because no other man would ever want her, but because Taylor stupidly believed maybe she would wait for him. His marriage was always on the rocks and he figured eventually he and Natalie would get sick and tired of fighting all the time and would mutually agree to part ways, finally allowing him to get back together with Michelle. That was the dream he had ever since the day he got married, but it seems that dream is now gone, since Michelle is no longer available.

He needs a drink so badly, but instead of going out he remembers he has a bottle of vodka in his top drawer. Taylor goes to his dresser and opens the top drawer and he is about to grab the bottle of vodka until something catches his eye.

He pulled out a velvet box and opens it. It's a custom made golden watch. He takes the watch out of the box and looks at it as he takes a seat on his bed. Taylor smiles as he looks at the watch, because it was a gift given to him from special someone.

(Flashback to his 19th birthday in March 2002)

Taylor was reading a book in the living room of Michelle's apartment. He can't believe everybody forgot his birthday. Things have been rough as of late with Hanson's problems with Island Def Jam, but he thought his brothers and the rest of his family would at least remember his birthday.

Taylor was so engrossed in what he was reading, he didn't notice Michelle as she walked into the room.

"Happy Birthday Tay!" he hears her say.

Taylor turns his head slightly in the direction where Michelle is. He is touched by the sight in front of him. There stood Michelle in black silk nightie holding a strawberry cake with white frosting with a candle lit in the middle.

"Well, would you look at that?" Taylor said as he put his book down and walked over to Michelle with a grin on his face.

"I made it myself, you know!" Michelle said in a flirty tone of voice.

"I wasn't talking about the cake, you know?" Taylor said while eyeing Michelle down, for he definitely approves of what she is wearing right now.

"Would you just blow out the candle before it melts!" Michelle tells him while giggling as she holds out the cake for him.

Taylor takes a step forward and looks at Michelle briefly as he closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them as he blows out the candle.

"Did you make a wish?" Michelle asked him.

"Hmm, can you guess what it is?" Taylor playfully asks her as he goes behind her nibbling one of her ears.

Michelle sets the cake down on the coffee table and turns to look at Taylor.

"You know you can't tell me your wish, because if you tell me it, it may not come true." Michelle tells him smiling.

"I sincerely doubt that, since it seems like I have everything I could wish for." He tells her while looking deeply into her eyes and leaning in to kiss her.

After their kiss, Michelle looked at Taylor all playfully.

"So what do you think of your gift?" Michelle asked him while gesturing to herself to see if he likes her outfit that leaves little to the imagination

Taylor eyed Michelle up and down and smirked.

"I liked it, that nightie looks good on you, but I think you would look even better without it." Taylor whispered into Michelle's ear.

Michelle blushed a bit, because she couldn't believe how seductive Taylor was capable of being. He always left her weak in the knees.

Taylor leaned in to kiss her and they began to take off each other's clothes and make their way to the bedroom.

After their lovemaking, Taylor and Michelle laid peaceably in each other's arms basking the afterglow of their happiness.

All is silent until Michelle spoke up.

"I got you another gift, you know?" Michelle said while looking up at Taylor smiling.

"You did?"

Michelle nodded her head in response.

She opened the drawer of her nightstand and she then gave the wrapped small package to Taylor.

Taylor took it.

"You really shouldn't have." Taylor told her while smiling at her.

He unwrapped the gift and opened the velvet box and is stunned when he sees the customized golden watch.

"Wow, this is beautiful," as he looks at the watch and saw that on the wristband his initials are engraved.

"Do you like it?" Michelle asked hopefully.

"I love it!" Taylor said flashing her a smile.

Michelle gave him a small peck on the cheek.

"I thought this birthday was going to be bad, because it seemed like everybody forgot about it except you. Thank you for making it so special."

Taylor grabbed one of Michelle's hands and intertwined it with one of his.

"I'm really lucky to have you." Taylor said with all sincerity.

"Well, I just hope you'll never get tired of me." Michelle told Taylor all jokingly.

"You'll never have to worry about that, because I intend to spend the rest of my life with you." Taylor told Michelle.

"I really love you" Michelle said softly.

"I love you too." Taylor whispered to her.

"The young couple gazed into each other's eyes and leaned into a shared a kiss and then brought their foreheads to together to savor the beauty of their love.

(Flashback ends)

Taylor just sighed in defeat, because he knew that the future he and Michelle planned to have will now never come true, because they are both married to other people.

Taylor took one look at the watch he was clutching in one of his hands and brought close to his face and then brought it back down.

"I lost you forever, Michelle." Taylor said with such sadness in his voice while tears fell from his eyes as he mourned the loss of his future with the only girl he had ever loved.

He knew now he really, truly had to move on, but he didn't know how, or even if he could.


	23. "Let Me Introduce Myself"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Zac receive a package from Marion.

  
-  
I'm not blind you see  
And you're not fooling me  
You've stepped into my territory  
Let me introduce myself  
Your reality  
Your morality  
His fantasy  
-  


May 30, 2004

Since hearing about Michelle's marriage, Isaac was eager to call Michelle. He felt slighted that she hadn't already told him. He knew, thanks to Entertainment Tonight, that her and Teddy had eloped in Mexico, so he wasn't offended that he wasn't invited, but he did feel hurt that she hadn't shared the good news with him. Even though Isaac hadn't seen Michelle for what felt like ages to him, he still considered her one of his best friends. He had formed a bond with her that was unshakeable and that friendship would continue for many years, but he didn't know that yet. At this point, in 2004, Isaac was struggling with how to maintain his friendship with Michelle while also respecting her need to avoid his brother. This was not an easy task. So he settled for calling her often and he hoped, with time, her anger towards his brother would fade, and they could all hang out like in the old days.

In late May 2004, Hanson were on tour, currently in Long Island, N.Y. Isaac and his brothers did their usual soundcheck, then headed their separate ways, as usual, to prepare and have some space before meeting once again to play the promo show. They had been hard at work, traveling to promote Underneath, but were struggling to get radio play, which was a stress weighing on all of them. They'd been bickering and Isaac was grateful to get away from his brothers for a few minutes.

He stepped outside into the warm, sunny spring breeze and dialed her familiar number.

"Hey Ike!" Michelle answered happily. "How are you, buddy?"

"I'm good. Yourself?"

"Good. What's up?"

"Oh, just calling to say hi, killing some time before the show, ya know."

"Ah. You guys are still on tour, right?" Michelle asked.

"Yep. We're in New York now. Another promo show...in July we start the official "Underneath" tour. We're basically planning on playing the same songs, but electric."

"That'll be cool," Michelle mused. "I mean, acoustic is fun but you can only do so much with it, you know?"

Isaac nodded. "Yeah, agreed. Plus I'm pretty stoked I got a new guitar to play around with."

"Nice. What kind?"

"A Gibson custom. Had it made in Tulsa by a bud of mine. It's really cool. I'll send ya a pic on my fancy new phone."

Michelle laughed. "New phone and new guitar! Someone's moving up in the world," she joked.

"I like to think so."

Michelle smiled and paused a moment before replying.

"Hey, Ike, uh I have some news. I, uh got married."

"I know," Isaac said simply.

Michelle raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"You do? How?"

"We saw it on ET last week. I was thinking you'd call and tell me, but you never did so...here I am calling you to congratulate you."

Michelle mentally cursed herself. She could hear the hurt in Isaac's voice, and knew she should have told him sooner.

"I'm sorry, Ike. It was all so sudden. I'm still kind of processing it myself."

"It' okay, Michelle. I get it. I'm happy for you though,"

"I am too," Michelle said, smiling to herself. "It's a big step, but it feels right."

"Speaking of, are you still seeing that woman...what was her name? Vicki?" Michelle asked,

"Nikki. Yeah, I am! I mean, I've been on tour a lot recently, but whenever I'm free I go see her in Louisiana, or she comes to see me. She's in college, so her schedule is fairly flexible."

"That's awesome."

"Yeah, I really like her." Isaac said.

Michelle was quiet for a moment before speaking.

"So, uh...Taylor knows about me getting married, too?"

"Yeah, uh...he was in the room when we were watching the T.V. when the program came on. He didn't take it well, as you can imagine."

Michelle didn't know how to respond to that. He hadn't "taken it well"? Taylor had left her, so as far as she was concerned, he shouldn't care less that she had gotten married.

"Yeah, well I guess it's kind of poetic justice, isn't it? After all, that's how I found out his marriage to Natalie and about his son Ezra...that stupid show," Michelle said, not trying to hide the tiny hint of bitterness in her voice.

"That's true," Isaac said.

He wanted to tell Michelle about how Taylor had found and listened to her album, and how he knew it was about him. He wanted to tell her how his brother had gone over to her old apartment and tried to find her. He wanted to tell her her Taylor still loved her. There was no doubt in his mind that if Michelle wanted him back, Taylor would leave Natalie to be with her, but Isaac knew that was a bad idea and not his place. Michelle was married now. Taylor was nothing, but a footnote in her past. She had moved on and he was proud of her for doing so.

"Well, anyway," Michelle said, "I need to be somewhere. Let's catch up more later, okay? Call me over the weekend?"

"Will do," Isaac responded.

The two exchanged pleasantries and hung up.

Isaac walked back into the venue, deep in thought about Michelle, her past with his brother, her marriage and everything that had happened in the last couple of years. He was happy Michelle had been able to move on.

He only wished his brother could do the same thing.

\---

Marit sat cross-legged on her bed, strumming her guitar, lost in thought. She'd been working on a song for the past couple hours, and was pleased with it but it needed some finishing touches.

She readjusted her fingers on the strings and played a few chords of it, singing along.

Lend me your ears, I would like to confess

I'm doubting that you can be real

By your side wearing a beautiful dress

I celebrate how good it feels

The song was to be the title track on her new album and was inspired by a man she'd been dating. They'd met a few months back in a coffee shop around the corner from her apartment, and it had been love at first sight. Just like in the movies.

Despite being happy in her new relationship, Marit still found herself thinking about Isaac sometimes. She had really liked Isaac. He had been very special to her. If their situation had been different, she didn't doubt they'd still be together. She knew she'd broken his heart, but she also knew she wasn't cut out for a long-distance relationship.

She put her guitar down and walked over to her dresser, on which a copy of Underneath sat. She'd gotten it last month from a friend. She loved the record, and had listened to it numerous times since she'd gotten it. She had meant to call Isaac sooner and tell him how much she was enjoying the album. Now was as good a time as any, she figured.

She picked up her phone and dialed his number, hoping he hadn't changed it.

Isaac answered right away.

"Marit?"

"Hey, Ike. Long time no talk. Do you have time to chat? Is this a bad time?"

"No, this is perfect. How are you?"

Marit climbed back on her bed and sat down cross-legged again, trying to decide how to tell him about everything that had happened since she last talked to him.

"Gosh, so much has happened since I last talked to you."

"Me, too," Isaac laughed. '"I don't know where to start."

"Well, I will then," Marit laughed. "Firstly, it's really good to hear from you. I've been meaning to tell you that I picked up a copy of your new album, and I love it so much!"

"How'd you get a copy of it? I don't think it's being released in Norway until next February."

"I have my connections," Marit laughed. "I wasn't going to wait that long!'

"So what have you been up to? Where are you living these days?"

"I'm still in Norway. I'm working on a new album, actually."

"Really? That's awesome," Isaac replied. "You gonna send me a copy once it's ready?"

"Of course!" Marit replied.

There was something Marit wanted to ask Isaac about but wasn't sure how to bring it up. She wanted to know if he'd moved on, met someone else, but wasn't sure if it was her place to ask, but she decided to anyway.

"So, have you met anyone recently?" she said casually.

"Like a woman?" Isaac asked.

"Yeah, you know, are you dating anyone?"

"Yeah, actually, I've been seeing this woman named Nikki. I met her in New Orleans. She's great."

Marit breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's great, Ike!" she hesitated a moment before continuing. "You know, I always felt really bad about how I ended things with you."

"Don't feel bad, I get it." Isaac said. "We lived in different parts of the world. You did what was best for both of us. I couldn't see it then, but I do now."

Marit smiled. She thought about how much Isaac had matured since she had dated him.

"I'm glad you feel that way, because I don't want you to have any resentment towards me."

"Don't worry Marit, I don't. I'm happy you called. It's great to hear from you."

Marit could hear the sincerity in his voice, and knew he was telling the truth.

"So, I have some news too...I met a guy, here in my neighborhood, actually. His name's Paul."

"That's great, Marit. What's he like?"

"He's really smart, and sweet and funny. He's pretty much just great. We moved in together already. It's going fast, but it feels right. I really like him."

Isaac smiled to himself and he thought about how Marit sounded really cute when she got excited about something. It was a trait he'd always loved about her. He wondered if their situations had been different, would they still be together?

"I'm really happy for you, Marit. You know it goes without saying if you're ever in the U.S. to call me, right? Tay and Zac would love to see you, as well as me of course."

"I would love that, but honestly I don't get back to the U.S. often, Ike. Since Marion and I broke up our band, I'm pretty well based here, but who knows. Maybe my new album will do well and I'll get to tour." Marit said hopefully.

"If that happens, I'll be front row. I'd love to hear you play your new stuff," Isaac said.

Marit heard the door open in her apartment and knew then that Paul was home.

"Hey Ike? Paul's back. I should go, but it was really great talking to you. Tell Tay and Zac I said hey, huh?"

"Will do, Marit. Take care."

Marit hung up the phone feeling satisfied with her conversation with Isaac. She was so glad he'd moved on.

She no longer had to feel bad about breaking his heart, for that she was grateful.

She could finally move on, knowing he had as well.

\---

June 2004

Taylor was driving to the studio when his phone rang.

He pulled over and looked down at it, surprised to see it was someone he hadn't talked to in a long time; Alex.

He hesitated, but decided to answer this time. He'd been avoiding Alex, and he knew he had to talk to him eventually. He just didn't know what to say, or how to even start with everything that had happened. There had been a time where he would have told Alex anything, but his life had changed so much he no longer felt that Alex would understand or could relate. To Taylor, it felt like his life in L.A. with Alex had been a different life.

"Hey, Alex." Taylor said softly, turning off the car and leaning back in his seat.

"Taylor?"

The surprise was evident in Alex's voice.

"Is that you?"

"In the flesh," Taylor joked. "How are you, old friend?"

"I'm good. I'm so glad you answered! It's been so long since I talked to you...I thought you'd never return my calls."

Taylor felt bad for ignoring Alex, but he couldn't really explain why he'd felt the need to do that.

"Well, I answered this time, didn't I?" Taylor said meekly.

There was a silence on the other line and Alex tried to decide what to say next to the guy who he once considered his best friend, but who had been ignoring his calls for months.

Alex finally decided on the basics. He knew he'd have to ease into a conversation with Taylor to finally get to a point where he could ask the real questions he wanted answers to.

"How have you been?"

"I'm okay. We're living back in Tulsa. We finally released the record. We've been touring. Can't complain, I guess."

"I know," Alex said carefully. "I saw you guys were playing here in L.A. recently. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt that you didn't call me when you were in town."

Taylor was quite, unsure how to respond to that. He felt bad. Alex was right. He should have called him.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I just...have this new life now with Ezra and Natalie...I can't really hang out or anything. I'm busy all the time. It's not personal."

Alex sighed. "I know, Tay. I get it. I just miss you. It really hurt when you didn't even bother to tell me you got married, or when you left L.A. You were my best friend, you know? I just don't know why you felt the need to just drop me like that."

Taylor struggled with explaining what was going through his head at that time.

"It was a hard time, Alex. I got Natalie pregnant, and Michelle and I broke up, and then Natalie and I got married shortly after that. Then I moved back home...and everything happened so quickly. It just seemed like my life in L.A. was a different world, you know? I didn't think you'd even want to hang out with me anymore now that I was married and all."

Alex didn't understand where Taylor was coming from.

"Of course I'd still want to hang out with you."

"I'm sorry, Alex."

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, bro," Alex finally said, "I'm glad you're doing well. It goes without saying that if you're ever in L.A. to call me, but I doubt you will."

Taylor could hear the bitterness in his voice but was at a loss as to how to change it. What was done was done.

"I will, Alex. I promise." he lied.

"Yeah, right. Okay, well thanks for finally answering." Alex sighed.

And with that, Alex was gone, and all Taylor heard was a dial tone. Taylor sighed and put the phone down. He turned the car back on and continued his drive to work.

As he drove, he thought about all the fun Alex and him had had, and what a good friend Alex had been to him. Taylor figured Alex was better off without him, anyway. Taylor didn't have time for friends. He had his band and his wife and son. That was all he had time for. Perhaps things had turned out for the best. At least Taylor had to believe that was true, what else could he do?

\---

December 2, 2004

Earlier in the day, Kate had received a text from her mom telling her there was a package waiting for her at her house in Atlanta. Kate was wildly curious as to what this may be, as she hadn't ordered anything to be sent to her mother's address. When she had started college, she'd changed her address to the P.O. boxes on campus. She had decided to drive over to her mother's house after class that day to get it.

When she got to her mother's house, no one was home, so she keyed in and soon found the package sitting on the kitchen table.

Kate put her keys and purse down on the table, and sat down to open it.

The entire package was a mystery. Kate held it in her hands and inspected it. It was a thin package. The return address was from Norway, which completely baffled her. She didn't know anyone in Norway. However, the package was clearly addressed to her, to "Kathryn", her full name, which no one called her by. The suspense killing her, she opened the package and out fell an unmarked CD, with a small note taped to it.

Kate ripped off the note and unfolded it, and started to read.

Kate,

This song was inspired by you. Enjoy.

Xo Marion

Kate re-read the note and threw it on the table, her blood boiling at seeing Marion's name. She immediately took the CD and went upstairs to her old room, where she knew there was an old CD player. She popped the CD in and listened to the song instantly all the way through.

I'm not blind you see

And you're not fooling me

You've stepped into my territory

Let me introduce myself

His fantasy

By the end of the song, Kate was livid. Kate had no idea how Marion knew these things about her. As for as she was concerned, this song was character defamation, and Kate wasn't below suing Marion for it. She made a mental note to consult with a friend of hers who was studying law.

She couldn't wait to get home and call and tell Natalie about this.

She popped the CD back in the case and returned it, along with the note, to the package. She jogged downstairs and grabbed her keys and purse and headed out the door.

Luckily, that weekend she was scheduled to spend the weekend in Tulsa. She decided to wait until the next day when she saw Natalie to tell her about it.

But under no circumstances did she want Zac to listen to this song. She vowed to let that never happen.

\---

The next day

The drive to Tulsa was long and boring as usual. Kate drove faster than she normally would, because she was eager to tell Natalie about the song.

She pulled up to Natalie and Taylor's house around 5 p.m. She let herself in and found Natalie sitting at the kitchen table with Ezra, playing a game.

"Hey lady!" Kate said, walking up to Natalie and giving her a hug. She then ruffled Ezra's hair.

"Hey little guy! Did you miss your auntie?"

Ezra just stared up at Kate, and silently handed her a chip from the board game.

"You're not his aunt," Natalie laughed. "Godmother though, for sure."

"I will be someday," Kate said frankly, "when Zac and I get married."

Natalie raised an eyebrow.

"Okay then, whatever you say,"

Kate walked over to the fridge and rummaged around inside for a snack. She settled on a yogurt. She sat down next to Natalie and opened it, eating it hungrily.

"Someone was hungry," Natalie noted.

"Starved. That drive never gets any shorter," Kate laughed. "It would have been so much easier if I could have gone to college here."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to see you all the time, and get sick of you," Natalie joked, winking at her friend.

"Haha." Kate said, finishing her yogurt and pushing it aside.

"Guess what I got in the mail today," she said, fishing the package out of her bag. She slid it across the table to Natalie, who looked at it, confused.

"What is this?"

"Open it," Kate said, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms. "You won't believe it."

Natalie opened the package and pulled out the CD and note. She unwrapped the note and read it quickly. Her eyebrows raised.

"Whoa. Marion sent this? As in Marion-Marion?"

"Yup. The one and only"

"Did you listen to it?"

"I did. It's a song about me. A pretty nasty one at that."

"Can I listen to it?" Natalie asked.

"Sure,"

Natalie grabbed Ezra and the three went into the living room to use the Cd player in there.

After the song, Natalie looked at Kate, shocked.

"Wow, that is really bad, Katie. Has Zac heard this?"

"Oh hell no. And he never will."

Natalie looked at her friend in alarm.

"What if he does?"

Kate shook her head.

"He won't."

The two sat in silence for a while. Natalie could tell Kate was worried, but wasn't showing it. Kate always tried to remain calm and controlled in stressful situations. Natalie knew Kate had to be really worried about what was said in that song and about Zac finding out.

"He still doesn't know, does he?" Natalie asked.

"No," Kate said simply.

\---

The same day, Zac and Isaac's apartment

Taylor had texted Zac from the studio to tell him he'd received a package from Norway. This interested Zac. He thought it may be the promo copy of the Japanese Underneath, and told Taylor to open it, but instead Taylor told Zac it was from Marion. Zac, wildly curious, decided to drive over to the studio to see what it was.

He was expecting Kate in town any minute now, but she hadn't called to say she was in town yet, so he figured she was just running late.

He arrived at the studio and jogged inside, a sinking feeling in his chest.

"Hey dude," Zac said, walking into 3CG via the back entrance. "Hand it over,"

Taylor handed him the CD.

"It's a song. I listened to it, man. It's not good. It's about Kate I guess."

Zac quickly unfolded and read the note, his brow furrowed.

"Oookay," he said, "play it for me,"

Taylor reached over and pressed play on the CD player.

Zac listened to the song, expressionless. During the last bar, he shut it off.

"I can't listen to this shit anymore," he muttered. He sat down heavily in a chair across from his brother.

"Why would Marion send this to me? We broke up years ago. Why would she even bother to write a song about Kate? Does she seriously have no life?"

Taylor shook his head.

"Who knows, man. Don't even worry about it. I doubt anything in that song is real, anyway."

Right then, Zac got a text from Kate saying she was over at Taylor's place.

"It's Kate, I gotta go," Zac said, getting up and grabbing his keys.

Taylor looked at his brother worriedly. He could tell Zac was worried and upset.

"Zac? Don't just accuse her, okay? She probably has no idea about the song."

"I'll keep you posted." and he was out the door.

Taylor sighed and turned the song on again. One particular lyric really bugged him;

You got everything that I want

You got him in the palm of your hand

But I know you've slept with everyone in his band

Again again again

What could she be referring to? He certainly hadn't slept with Kate.

That only left Isaac. Could it be possible that Kate had slept with Isaac?

For Zac's sake, Taylor hoped not.

\---

Zac got back to his brother's house in record time, and found his girlfriend and Natalie sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Hey babe!" Kate said, getting up and giving him a hug and a kiss.

But the look on Zac's face made her blood run cold.

"What's wrong, baby?" Kate asked.

Zac held up the CD.

"Marion sent this to me,"

Natalie looked at Kate, shocked.

"She sent it to Kate, too," she said, before she could help herself.

"Yeah, about that..." Kate said quietly. "Can we sit down?"

Zac sat down with Kate on the couch.

"Please tell me this song isn't true," he said.

"Actually, Zac I think the song is about both Kate and I,"

Zac thought about that for a second and it seemed plausible. But there was one lyric that really bugged him.

He sat up and popped the CD in the player.

"I don't want to listen to it again," Kate said.

"Too bad," Zac replied.

The three listened to the song again. Zac watched Kate and how she'd react. She just stared at her hands. Natalie bit her lip nervously and looked between her best friend and Zac worriedly.

The song ended.

"'But I know you've slept with everyone in his band'? 'This' is obviously me. But you...haven't slept with my brothers, so I don't know how to take that." Zac finally said, looking at Kate, his eyes begging her to explain.

Kate sighed. "Zac, listen. Marion hates me. The song is a lie. It's all made up. Natalie obviously didn't lie about her birth control and I obviously didn't sleep with your brothers."

"I did actually.." Natalie said quietly.

"What?" Kate said in surprise, looking over at Natalie.

"I did lie about my birth control. That night when Taylor and I slept together. I told him I was on it, but I really wasn't, because I wanted to have sex with him,"

Both Zac and Kate looked at Natalie in shock.

"How would Marion know that?" Kate asked.

Natalie shrugged. "Maybe Tay told her? I admitted it to him a while back."

Though this admission was interesting, Zac was more concerned about what part or parts of the song were about Kate. Zac wanted to believe Kate, but something seemed off in her voice; it was wavering and she could barely make eye contact with him.

"Kate, look at me," Zac said sternly.

Kate did so.

"Are you telling me the truth?"

Kate didn't answer.

"Zac, listen to yourself. Of course she's telling the truth. Marion is obsessed with you obviously and still hasn't moved on and she's trying to break you two up." Natalie piped up in her friend's defense.

Zac gave Natalie a dirty look. "I didn't ask for your opinion," he snapped.

Natalie crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Fine," she muttered.

Zac stared at Kate and suddenly something remarkable happened; Kate's eyes welled up with tears and she put her hands in her lap and started to cry.

Zac stared at Kate shocked for a moment, then went over and put his arm around her.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I did it with....Ike, years ago," Kate said suddenly. She sobbed in between words. "I've...wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how. I was afraid you'd dump me."

Zac felt like the floor had dropped under his feet and the wind had been knocked out of him.

He took his arm off Kate and stood up trying to regain his composure. He took several deep breaths.

Natalie looked at him sadly.

"I'm so sorry Zac," she said, as if she had been responsible.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Zac said quietly, walking to the other side of the room and staring out the window.

Kate continued to cry as she tried to explain. "It was a long time ago. You and I weren't even really together yet. It just happened once, and Ike felt really bad about it and begged me to not tell you, because he knew you really liked me. It didn't mean anything."

Zac didn't say anything. He just continued to stare out the window, his back to her.

"Zac?" Kate said. "Look at me."

He turned and stared at Kate with the saddest look on his face she'd ever seen.

"You had sex with my brother?" he asked quietly. "Seriously?"

Natalie comforted Kate, who was beside herself crying.

"Are you going to break up with me?" she sniffed.

Zac sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"No. I don't know. I need some space." he said.

"Please don't go." Kate pleaded.

"I'll talk to you later," he said.

Zac then walked out the door without looking back.


	24. "Penny and Me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny is born. Owen is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in first-person.

  
-  
Cigars in the summertime under the sky by the light  
I can feel you read my mind  
I can see it in your eyes under the moon as it plays  
Like music every line  
-  


Tulsa-April 2005)

Taylor

It was just another other night, my wife was downstairs putting away leftovers. Erza who was now two and half years old was sound asleep in his room. As for me, I wanted to get some peace and quiet so, I ending up going up to the attic to do some writing on new material for Hanson's upcoming album. It's been a year since "Underneath" was released, and the response we got for it was unbelievable. It debuted at number one on the billboard independent charts, it was a commercial success. Even our worst past critics gave us high praise. We knew we were taking a big risk in leaving our old record label and launching our own label, a lot people told us not to do it because it would be a "career suicide" move. At the end of the day, we decided to take that risk because it meant we would be in complete control of our career from a creative point of view. Ever since we made that decision, there has been no stopping us.

Career wise, I'm happy where my brothers and I are, but as for my personal life, that's a different story. Ever since, Natalie and I got married, things have taken a toll for the worse. All we do is fight. I'll admit, most of it is my fault. I know Natalie loves me, in some way I do love her too, but I'm not in love with her, I never have been. There is only one girl who I truly fell in love with, that girl is Michelle. It's been almost two years, since I found out Michelle got married to her bass player.

I kept going back to the time when she and I were together and how happy we were. We had so many dreams. I never gave up hope on that future even after I got married to Natalie. I thought somehow Natalie and I were going come to a mutual agreement to end our marriage and I would find my way back to Michelle and we would pick up right where we left off, but there was no point in living in a fantasy that I know now will never become reality. We're both married now, but to different people.

I took a break from writing and I walked over to a chest that I have stored away in the back of the attic. I opened it and I grabbed some photos from within the box. I smiled as I turned them over.

The pictures were mostly of Michelle, I'm in some of them, but they're mostly of her. I loved taking pictures of her. She would get mad at me sometimes because I would always have the camera on her. I couldn't help it, I wanted to document as much I could of our time together.

As I scanned through pictures smiling as I looked at them relieving those moments, there was one picture that stopped me dead in my tracks. I forgot about this picture. I smiled as I reflected back on this particular moment.

(Flashback)

New Year's Eve, 2001-Tulsa, OK

It was just another New Year's Eve party that my parents threw inviting about 50 of our close family and friends. Usually I would get bored at these parties, because there was really nothing to do here. Ike, Zac, and I would always beg our parents to please let us go to a friend's house to watch a movie or something, but our parents said 'no', because we should be at home with our family. Normally the three of us would disappear to the basement. Zac would play video games while Ike and I would find our dad's secret stash of whiskey and vodka and would drink the entire stash until we were completely drunk.

This year though it would be different, since Michelle was staying during the holidays with us, I wanted to take her out on a date, just the two of us. We haven't really been able to spend any quality time alone during the holidays, since my family keeps butting in. My sisters usually wanted to hang out with Michelle and Mackie usually wanted to spend some time with Ike, Zac, and me like we used to when he was very little.

When Michelle and I do manage to be alone, my dad was always here watching us like a hawk watches its prey. He made it very clear, he doesn't want us to be alone in any way. He was afraid we were going to have sex. My dad wasn't totally in the wrong about that, because eventually that step was going to happen, just not right now, since we're both not ready yet and we can't exactly have sex in a house filled with so many people...worrying someone will walk in on us.

Anyway, getting back to the topic, Michelle and I were going to spend New Year's Eve together away from the craziness that is my family.

I remember during the car ride to the restaurant I kept looking over at Michelle who looked absolutely beautiful with her hair done up and she was wearing a bit of makeup.

"What?" she said smiling as she caught me looking at her.

"Nothing, you just look really beautiful tonight." I told her with warm smile.

"Thanks." she said while looking away blushing, which made her look ten times more cute.

I pulled up to the lot of the restaurant and put the car in park. I got out the car and made my way over to the passenger's side and I opened the door for Michelle. I reached my hand to her and she took it while smiling at me.

We went into the restaurant and we're shown to our table and seated. I remember through the course of our dinner we kept talking and laughing. We talked about music what it brought to both of our lives and the dreams we had.

After dinner we headed back to my house, but instead going back inside into the house, I took Michelle out to the backyard and brought her up to the treehouse my brothers and I have had since we were kids.

"Where are we going?" Michelle asked her voice filled with confusion as we climbed up the ladder that led to the treehouse.

"Somewhere where we can be alone for a bit." I answered back to her.

I reached the treehouse first and let myself in and then I took one of Michelle's hands as I helped her get inside too. Once we're both inside the treehouse, I laid down a blanket for Michelle and I to sit on.

All is quiet until Michelle speaks up.

"Thank you for such a romantic evening." She said to me while flashing a smile.

"You're welcome, but the night isn't over yet. We still have an hour until midnight. So, I figured we can spend it up here in one of my favorite childhood places."

"Well the view is beautiful up here." Michelle said to me.

"Yeah, it is." I whispered as I stared at her.

I watched Michelle as she looked up at the stars in the clear blue night sky. She closed her eyes and smiled as the wind blew gently upon her face.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked her.

Michelle opened her eyes and kept her eyes on the stars as she spoke to me...

"I just keeping thinking about how beautiful a moment like this is. It's one of those things you can't describe, you just have to live in it and feel it." She said with such wisdom in her voice.

"What do you feel?" I asked her curiously.

"I feel wonder, beauty, hope, and joy. It's that feeling you get when you have created something so special and you feel such love for it because you know it came from you and you'll do everything in your power to defend it." Michelle had a faraway look in her eyes like she was imagining something."

"Like a baby?" I said to her.

Michelle looked at me so intently that I saw the surprised look in her eyes, for she couldn't believe what I had said. It was almost like I could read her thoughts and that's what surprised her.

"Yeah, like a baby." She whispers to me while looking at me so intently.

"How did you know I was thinking of that?" she asked me with such interest.

"Besides music, a baby is probably the only other thing that brings out such feelings in a person. Feelings you didn't think you ever had or were capable of feeling." I said to her while staring into her eyes that filled with fascination. I could tell she was holding onto my every word, letting them sink in.

"Yeah, who knew a little person could do that?"

"That's one life's greatest mysteries I guess." I told her while smiling at her.

"Sometimes I wonder, if I ever have a baby, will I be a good mother to him or her?" She asked herself as I see she is picturing that vision.

I reached out and grabbed one of her hands to interlock it with one of mine.

"You're going to make a great mom. You're such a loving person, that kid is going to be so lucky to have you as their mom." I told her with all sincerity.

Michelle placed one of her hands upon my face caressed it and gave me a gentle peck on the cheek.

"Thanks for saying that Tay. You're going to a great dad someday as well." she told me.

I smiled at her thinking she was the most kind and loving person I had ever met. Everyday I felt like I was falling more and more in love with her.

We stare into each other's eyes for a while basking in the moment we just had with one another.

We broke eye contact with one another when my watch beeped, indicating that we were one minute away from ringing in the New Year.

I remember we starting counting down...

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Michelle and I shared a kiss to welcome the New Year. It was officially January 1st of 2002.

"Happy New Year Tay!" Michelle said to me smiling.

"Happy New Year Michelle!" I said back to her smiling too.

I pulled out my camera and focused it on Michelle. Michelle turned her head in my direction and saw the camera and smiled as I took the picture.

(Flashback ends)

I stared at the picture of Michelle as I traced her face with my fingertips. I wished we were still together. I wondered if a day would come where I'll stop missing her, because I have serious doubts that will ever happen. I placed Michelle's picture along with the other photos back in the chest and I slammed it shut. I know I have to let go of the past, but I don't know if I can.

I walked out of the attic and back into my bedroom when I heard Natalie calling out to me.

I raced downstairs to the kitchen where I saw Natalie holding her stomach with one hand and breathing sharply as she held onto the countertop with her other hand.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, my voice filled with panic fearing something was wrong with her and the baby.

Natalie looked up at me and I saw the excitement and fear in her eyes.

"It's time." she said.

Instantly I grabbed a hold of Natalie and I helped her sit down in one of the dining room chairs. She was breathing so sharply I was scared that the baby may be born here in our kitchen before we could get to a hospital.

I ran upstairs into the bedroom to grab the overnight bag Natalie packed a few days ago in case she went into labor. After that I went into Ezra's room and gently picked him up from his crib. He was sound asleep and I took him out of his crib. With the bag slung over one of my shoulders and holding Ezra in my arms, I went back downstairs.

I saw Natalie holding her stomach and breathing more and more heavily. Sweat had started to form around her forehead as she looked up at me.

"Got everything. Do you need help to get into the car?" I asked her with concern.

"No, I can still move, but we need to get to the hospital as soon as possible, I feel like this baby can be born any second now."

I held the door for her as she walked out. I closed and locked the door behind me and went to unlock the car. Natalie quickly got in and was concentrating on her breathing, while I put the overnight bag in the backseat and placed Ezra in his car seat and strapped him in. After checking to see that my son was well secured in his seat, I closed the door and raced over to the driver's side and got in, starting up the engine. Then I pulled out of the driveway and made my way to the hospital.

I must have been driving like a maniac because before I knew it we were at the hospital. I got out of the car and ran to Natalie's side and helped her out of the car. Then I got Ezra out of his seat, placing him in my arms again. I got the overnight bag out too and proceeded to help Natalie walk toward the entrance to the hospital. With every step we took she kept breathing more and more heavily.

Once we got inside I yelled out for some assistance.

A nurse and doctor quickly walked over to us and placed Natalie in a wheelchair and quickly proceeded to take her into the delivery room, since she was well dilated. The baby could be here "any minute now" as the doctor told me.

I watched as Natalie was beginning to be wheeled away. Her face filled with excitement and nervousness.

"I'll see you soon." I told her.

"You'll be seeing 'us' soon." she told me while gesturing to her stomach as she was was being raced down to the delivery room.

I just smiled after hearing her comment, because I was about to become a father again.

I hand over to one of the nurses the overnight bag and she told me she will make sure Natalie gets it.

With Ezra in my arms, I went to sit down in the waiting room. I placed Ezra on my lap as he slept away. I took out my phone and began to call my family and Natalie's family members to tell them Natalie's in labor and the baby could born any minute now.

After making all those calls I decided to rest my eyes for a bit, so I took a nap with Ezra. All I could do now is wait so I might as well get some shut eye until the doctor comes out and tells the news of my second child's arrival.

About half an hour later my entire family along with Natalie's mother and brother came to the hospital all asking me if the baby had been born yet, which I told them "no." Ezra eventually woke up to the sound of my family's voices and looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back at him.

"Hey buddy, go back to sleep it's still nighttime."

"Where's Mama?" he asked me.

"Buddy, Mama's not here right now, she having the baby right now."

At the mere mention of the word "baby" Ezra squealed in delight which brought out a laugh from my family and me as we could see how excited he was about the baby's arrival.

I saw the doctor coming down the hallway in my direction and I quickly walked towards him hoping he is bringing me joyous news.

"Doctor, how's Natalie?" I asked him.

"She's doing great. So is your daughter.

I perked up at the mention of the baby.

"It's a girl?" I asked him again, hoping I heard him right.

"It's a girl, son. You're the proud father to a new and healthy baby girl."

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"Sure, follow me."

With Ezra still in my arms I followed the doctor to Natalie's room.

I walked into the room and melted at the sight before me. There was Natalie holding our newborn daughter in her arms.

Natalie smiled when she saw Ezra and me walk into the room.

"Hey guys!" she said to us.

"Ezra there is someone I would like for you to meet." Natalie told our son as I sat him down beside her.

"Said hello to your new baby sister," she told our son as she faced the baby in Ezra's direction.

"Baby!" Ezra said as he held the baby's pinkie.

I smiled at the sight before me, there is no greater thing in the world than this.

"Taylor, would you like to hold our little girl?" Natalie asked me.

"Yes, I would." as I extended my arms out.

Natalie placed our daughter in my arms and I gently cradled her head and looked at her, completely mesmerized by her beauty.

"Hey there beautiful, I'm your daddy. You're so small, but so perfect in every sense. I promise to love and protect you always.

I gave her a small kiss on the forehead as she gently cried.

With my daughter in my arms, I sat down next to Ezra and Natalie as we all just stared at the baby.

Ezra insisted he wanted to hold the baby, so I gently put her in his arms with Natalie holding his arms in place securely to make sure neither him or baby get hurt. Natalie and I shared a smile as we watched our children interact with one another.

After a while my family and Natalie's family came in to see the baby. They were all so smitten by her. When they asked us if we have chosen a name for her yet, both Natalie and I said we had.

"Everybody meet Penelope Ann Hanson A.K.A. Penny."

I saw the smile on both Isaac and Zac's faces, because they know what the significance of that name means to me.

"Penny, I like that name," Avery tells me.

"So do I." I said back to my little sister smiling.

As we were all watching Ezra holding his new baby sister in his arms, I saw from the corner of my eye that Isaac took his camera out and snapped a picture of Natalie, Ezra, Penny, and me knowing this was a moment he just needed to capture and I was glad he did.

(Los Angeles-August 2005)

Michelle

It was just another hot and humid day there in L.A. as I sat here in my living room looking at some old photos that I wanted put away in the attic.

Normally, I never complained about the weather, but considering the fact that I was pregnant and a week overdue, I said I have every right to complain.

I stared at my sonograms as I put them in the photo album that will be the baby's album.

It's seemed like only yesterday I found out I was pregnant. I remember when my doctor gave me the wonderful news, I had to tell her to give me another round of tests, because I couldn't believe it. Ever since my miscarriage happened with my previous pregnancy, I was told shortly afterwards it would be highly impossible for me to get pregnant, and much less to carry the baby to full term.

Needless to say, when the test came back positive indicating without a shred of a doubt that I indeed was pregnant, I was over the moon. I always wanted to be a mom and it seems like that dream is coming true.

My husband has been really supportive of me during my pregnancy, considering the fact I haven't made it too easy on him with my crazy food cravings and mood swings. I feel always so bad for treating him like shit, but he always kindly tells me this:

"You're doing the hard part of the job which is carrying our baby so you're allowed to vent out your feelings in any way."

Teddy has been always understanding, that's one of the things I love about him. I just wish sometimes I could give him my whole heart instead only half of it.

I looked at the photos of Teddy and me as I was putting them away in small boxes.

Overall, I've been really happy in my marriage to Teddy, but sometimes, I can't help but wonder what life would have been like if Taylor and I would have stayed together.

Just on cue, after I finished putting away a stack of photos, I grabbed another stack, but this stack is photos of Taylor and me. Photos I haven't seen in awhile. I smiled as I scanned through the pictures, remembering how happy Taylor and I were during our time together which now seems like it was a lifetime ago.

I come across one photo that stops me in my track. I forgot about this one. I smiled as I reflected back on this particular moment captured on film.

(Flashback)

January 2002-Green Mountain, VT

It was just another beautiful winter morning here in Vermont. I remember being woken up by the rays of the morning sunlight that were sneaking through the curtains upon the area of the bed where I was sleeping. I opened my eyes completely looking around the room wondering for a moment where I was, because this didn't look my bedroom. My eyes eventually lay on Taylor who was sleeping peacefully beside me. Then it hit where I was. Taylor brought me to this cabin in Vermont for a weekend getaway.

So far it had been amazing. Last night's events come into my mind and I just smiled as I remembered them. Taylor went out of his way to not only make the evening a perfect one, but he made me feel so loved, like I was special to him. No guy had ever made me feel that way before.

I got up from the bed so quietly and put on my robe. I turned to look over at Taylor who was still sleeping. I decided I would go downstairs and make us some breakfast, but before I did, I wanted to take a picture of Taylor while he was sleeping. He just looked so still and peaceful, that it would be a crime to not capture this moment on film.

I went over to the dresser and grabbed Taylor's camera. I set the camera focus on Taylor and I took a picture of him sleeping. I cringed every time the flash and shutters of the camera would make noise because it made him stir a bit, but not enough to not wake up him, which I was so grateful for.

After taking his picture, I placed the camera back on the dresser and I made my way to the door and quietly opened it. I closed it behind me, and I proceeded to make my way downstairs.

Once I got downstairs, I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge to see what we had for food. After taking a look in the fridge, I decided that I would make us some French Toast and scrambled eggs.

I took out the white bread, the eggs, and milk and placed them on the counter. I then took out two frying pans and put them on the stove and turned the heat on. While the food was cooking, I decided to put a pot of coffee on, because Lord knows both Taylor and I will need it.

Once the food was cooked, I got two plates and served myself and Taylor. I must have been distracted while setting the table, because I didn't hear Taylor coming up behind me.

"Good Morning." I hear him whisper into one of my ears as he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Good Morning to you too!" I said back to him smiling as I turned to face him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

"Thank you." I said to him.

"For what?" He asked me looking confused.

"For taking me on this trip and for last night. It was so romantic."

"Well, you're welcome. How do you feel after what we did?" He asked me while flashing a coy smile.

"Umm....Well, I feel so loved and wanted, not to mention..." I said, but stopped myself briefly.

"What?" Taylor asked inquisitively.

"Very turned on." I said while blushing five shades of red.

"Really? We could always have an encore," He said in a teasing voice.

"That sounds amazing." I said back to him as I leaned forward to kiss him.

During our kiss, I heard his stomach growl and I laughed against his lips.".

"But, I think you need to eat something first in order regain your energy."

"I guess." Taylor looked bit embarrassed.

"So, what's for breakfast?" He asked.

"French Toast and scrambled eggs." I answered as we took our seats.

I noticed that Taylor had the camera in his hands and I sighed.

"You're not going take another picture of me are you? I don't look my best right now."

"Actually, I was wondering if maybe we could take a selfie together. I just wanted remember this moment forever." He told me with such love and sincerity.

I smiled at that, because he never ceased to amaze me.

"Okay." I told him.

Taylor positioned the camera in front of us and positioned it in way both of us could be seen on screen.

"1, 2, 3." He said cueing us to smile at the camera as the flash went off.

"See that wasn't so bad." He told me.

"I guess." I said to him still looking a bit uneasy.

"You look beautiful always Michelle. Even without your makeup or your being hair done up." He told me while touching and caressing my face.

I just leaned, in being totally lost in his touch.

We shared a brief tender kiss before parting away from each other.

(Flashback ends)

I just sighed as I relived that memory. Despite my best efforts in tucking away those memories, along with my love for Taylor, I just couldn't. He was always there, present in both my mind and heart. It was almost like he wouldn't let me be.

It wasn't like my past with Taylor didn't want to stay buried, it was just that it kept on emerging, which I didn't know why. It's not like he and I could just pick up where we left off. We were both married now, to different people whom we had kids with.

I decided long ago that I needed to put my past with Taylor behind and that's what I tend to do. I grabbed the stack of photos I had of him and I and I walked to the fireplace intending to burn them when all of sudden I feel a sharp pain that caused me to drop the photos on the floor as I fell to my knees holding my stomach.

I breathed heavily, hoping that the pain I felt would pass and that nothing was wrong with my baby.

I noticed the floor beneath me was wet, which could only mean one thing.

Despite being in pain, I managed to get myself up and I walked towards the coffee table. I picked up the phone and just as I was about to dial 911, when I heard my front door open.

"Michelle, are you here? I brought you something to eat." I heard my sister Nicole say as she closed the door behind her and walked across the foyer.

"Michelle?" I heard her say again.

"In the living room!" I managed to yell out.

When my sister walked into the room she stopped dead in her tracks as she noticed the state I was in."

"Oh my gosh Michelle, are you okay?" Nicole asked me.

"Nicole, I am in labor." I told her nervously.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, my water just broke and I am having contractions every few minutes, I need you to drive me to the hospital." I told her calmly.

"Okay, sure." She said feeling a bit scattered, but managed to keep her cool.

"Where is your overnight bag?" She asked me.

"It's in my bedroom." I answered back to her while trying keep my breathing at ease.

"I'm going to put you in the car first, and then I'll run back in here to get your bag, then we'll leave. I'll call Teddy on the way to the hospital to tell him to meet us there, okay?" Nicole asked me meekly.

"Okay." I managed to say while breathing intensely.

Shortly after that I remember my sister drove like 'Fast and Furious'. I have never seen her drive so fast. I'm surprised she didn't get pulled over by a cop, but her speed racing driving style got me to the hospital in record time.

Before I knew it I was being admitted and then placed in a room. My doctor keep coming in every so often to check on how dilated I was.

My sister managed to get a hold of Teddy and told him I was in labor. Apparently he told her that he would get there as soon as possible for, he wanted to be there for the birth of our child.

About an hour passed since I was admitted and Teddy finally showed up hoping our child hadn't made their entrance in the world yet. It seems like Teddy will be getting his wish since this kid was taking their time to get there.

More hours had passed and still no baby. I was beginning to think this baby didn't want to come out.

It soon became night and I could tell both my sister and Teddy were getting tired so I told them they could go home and rest. It doesn't seem like the kid going to be born anytime soon at this rate, but they both insisted on staying, which deep down I was grateful for.

Around 2 a.m. my doctor came to check on me and told me that I was fully dilated and ready to go to the delivery room.

I remembered how excited and nervous I felt. It seemed unreal, I was about to become a mom.

Before I was wheeled to the delivery room though, my doctor was looking at the monitor and I noticed the worried look on her face.

"What is it?" I asked her nervously.

"Michelle, the baby's heart rate is slowing down, we need to get you in the delivery room right now."

Before I could ask her more questions, my doctor quickly began barking orders to her staff to get down to delivery A.S.A.P.

As they were wheeling me down to the delivery room I heard my sister yell out these words to me:

"Good luck Michelle."

I just turned my head slightly in my sister's direction and sadly smiled at her for I was nervous as hell that I could lose my baby.

Once I was in the delivery room with Teddy at my side, I asked my doctor what she was going to do to save my baby.

She told me quickly that they need to do an emergency C-section, because the baby's heart rate was dropping too rapidly.

I remembered it being complete chaos in that room as they were prepping me for surgery.

After that, I just I remember them injecting the epidural in my back to ease the pain that I was about to endure. Eventually, they put a clean white curtain sheet upon my stomach and they opened me up. Even though I couldn't see what they were doing, I could feel the tugging and pulling.

I turned to look at Teddy who was wearing a scrub gown, hat and mask. We share a intense look with one another as we interlocked hands.

We both knew what the other was thinking at this moment and we just prayed that our baby was born healthy.

They began to work on me. Despite the fact I couldn't really see what they were doing, I could hear them. Eventually I heard my doctor tell me she could see the baby's head and I squeezed Teddy's hand as I prayed that everything works out fine.

All was silent for moment, which worried me until I heard the most beautiful sound in the world, the cries of a baby, my baby.

"Michelle, Teddy, I heard my doctor say, meet your daughter." my doctor said to us as she came into my view holding the most precious thing in the world in her arms.

I smiled at the sight of my daughter then I saw that the doctor walked away with her.

My motherly instincts instantly kicked in worrying my baby was gone.

"Where did she go?" I asked Teddy feeling scared.

Teddy noticed my fear and just smiled at me.

"Honey, they are just cleaning her up, she's right at that table."

Instantly, I felt bad for assuming the worst.

"Okay, please take care with her, she is so tiny." I told my doctor and the nurses.

"Okay, here she is." the doctor told me as she came back into my view with my daughter in her arms as she showed her to me. I couldn't hold her because they were stitching me up.

I looked at her and immediately fell completely in love with her.

"Hey, you! You know me right? I'm your mommy and that's your daddy." I told my daughter as I looked at Teddy. He smiled at me brightly as he took her in his arms. He too was completely smitten by her.

"Welcome to the world little one, we are going to love you so much!" I told her as tears came from my eyes.

"She's so beautiful." I heard Teddy say as he held our daughter's pinkie.

Hours later I was in a room feeding my daughter. After I was done feeding and burping her, I just held her in my arms completely mesmerized by her. I felt kind of woozy as they'd given me more drugs to help with the pain from the surgery.

Eventually Teddy came back into the room after getting some coffee, the poor guy hadn't slept in the last 36 hours.

He came to sit by me and his eyes too completely locked on our daughter. We both sat there in silence just watching as she looks up at us making the cutest little faces and noises.

The door of my room opened and I saw that my sister had come to visit us.

"Hey guys! Aw, let me see her!" my sister said as she came closer to me and saw the baby for the first time. She too, was completely taken by the baby.

"Michelle, she is so cute. She looks exactly like you."

"Really?'

"Oh yeah, this kid definitely has the Branch genes."

Teddy and I just laughed slightly at my sister's last remark.

"Have you guys picked out a name for her yet?"

Teddy and I looked at each other and smiled.

"Yes, we have." Teddy told my sister.

Nicole, meet "Owen Isabelle Landau." I said proudly.

My sister just smiled at that.

"I like it." she told me.

(A week later)

It had been a week, since Owen was born, she and I were finally being released from the hospital after my doctor gave us a clean bill of health.

Teddy was so happy to be taking us home, for he too was getting sick of the hospital environment.

Once we got home, Teddy and I got Owen settled into her room, but she was being a bit fussy, it wasn't that she was hungry, it was that she just wanted to be held for a bit.

Teddy told me he was going to the store to pick up groceries, since we were low on food.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself for a bit?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I told him as I was trying to calm Owen down who was wailing away.

"Okay, I'll be back soon." Teddy told me as he grabbed his keys and headed downstairs and out the door.

I went to sit down carefully in the rocking chair holding Owen in my arms. I was still in a lot of pain from the surgery. I rocked her quietly singing her a lullaby, hoping it would quiet her cries and put her to sleep finally.

Once Owen was sound asleep, I got up from the rocking chair, holding her in my arms, and I gently placed her in her crib. I quietly left the room.

I went downstairs into the living room and I saw that the photos of Taylor and I that I dropped a week ago were still on the floor where I had left them. I went to pick them up. I was tempted to look at them and take a trip down memory lane once again, but instead I put the pictures in a box and I closed the box shut. I had no interest in reliving a past that had no future, but a part of me still wanted to keep the photos. 

For the longest time, Taylor had consumed my every thought, but not anymore. Owen, from here on out, would be the only person in the world that consumed my every thought. Owen was the one who have the key to my heart and would own it forever. 

As I looked out the window, I felt a peace I hadn't felt in a long time. I was finally over Taylor. I had loved him, and we'd shared something really special, but I knew I had to let go of the past. It just wasn't meant to be despite the love we had shared . We had created memories together that I would always treasure, but I had moved on, and I was grateful for that. I just hoped that he had too. 

I walked up to my window and stared up at the clear blue skies that indicated it was the start of a brand new day in more ways than one.

Today was the first day of the rest of my life, and I couldn't wait to see what the future would bring.


	25. "Lost Without You" (Epilouge)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years later, Michelle and Taylor see each other again at a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in first-person.

  
-  
I see it all aligned in front of my face  
But like a shooting star fades  
It could be gone just as fast as it came  
I'm gonna take this moment and chase this fear right out of me  
Come one day  
I will have no regrets after today  
-  


June 18, 2013

New York City

Michelle

To be completely honest, I wasn't sure I was ready to see Taylor again. I wasn't in love with him anymore - I hadn't been for years - but, regardless, I wasn't sure how I would feel seeing him again after so many years. We had a past, there was lots of water under our bridge, there was no denying it - but I was hoping all of that was in the past and we could just hang out and be friends. Was I nervous to see Taylor again? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.

Incredibly, Isaac and I had kept in touch over the years, and we'd gotten together a few times when we were both in the same city, but it had been four years since I had seen him. He had been a great friend to me. He'd come to my baby shower, and I'd gone to his engagement party - which luckily Taylor had not attended due to a work commitment. After turning Isaac down a few times over the years to get together though, I had promised myself next time he asked I would accept.

I got the chance to make good on that promise a couple weeks ago when he had invited me to their album release show and afterparty in New York City.

As the days passed, I realized I was really excited to see the guys. It had been so long. I hoped it wouldn't be strange, but I knew there is this bond you create with everyone you tour with. It's a bond for life.

The plan was for me to meet the guys backstage and then watch the show from there. Afterwards, there was going to be an afterparty at a nearby restaurant.

My daughter Owen was with her father in L.A. this weekend, and I was in New York on business so it was almost like it was meant to be.

I opened my suitcase and stared into it, trying to decide what to wear. I hadn't expected to have an occasion to wear anything dressy, so I hadn't brought anything. I had, however, thrown a black dress into my bag on impulse, and I'm glad I had. I decided to pair it with a pair of black heels I'd bought yesterday at Barney's.

"You can never go wrong with black," I muttered to myself as I slipped on the dress.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I suddenly felt really nervous to attend the show and party alone.

On a whim, I decided to call a friend of mine - a mutual friend of mine and my husband's actually - who I knew lived in New York. As the phone rang, I prayed he would answer.

Thankfully, he did. It was my lucky day.

"Michelle?"

He sounded surprised to hear from me.

"Hey, Jake! How are you?" I asked, relieved he'd answered. I crossed my fingers that he'd agree to attend the show and party with me. I knew it was a long shot, after all it was such short notice. 

"I'm great! Great to hear from you. What's going on?" he asked.

"Well," I said, taking a deep breath, "I know this is short notice, but I'm in town this weekend on business and agreed to attend a show and party tonight at Irving Plaza and well...I need a friend date to go with me. What do you say? It'll be fun."

There was a pause on the other line and I was afraid Jake would turn me down.

"Sure, Michelle! Actually, it's like you read my mind - I had a friend cancel our plans tonight so I'm free."

I breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

"Great! Do you want to meet me here at my hotel? Around 7p.m.? We can drive there together."

"That sounds great, Michelle! Where are you staying?"

I gave him the address to my hotel and I hung up the phone, smiling.

I'd have a date now for the show, which was a relief. I wasn't sure why it seemed so important to not go alone.

I spent the next hour making myself dinner, hanging out in my room watching the news and waiting for Jake to arrive.

Jake showed up right on time. He was wearing a blue shirt and his signature Buddy Hollyesque black-framed glasses. It was great to see him. I hugged him happily.

"It's so good to see you, Jake." I said.

"You too, Michelle," Jake said, hugging me back. "It's been a while."

I nodded in agreement. Jake had moved to New York around a year ago, and neither Teddy or I had seen him since.

"Ready?" I said.

"Ready,"

I grabbed my purse and we headed out the door.

\---

New York, Irving Plaza

Being at a Hanson show again felt both nostalgic and bittersweet.

I admit I hadn't kept up with what they'd been doing over the last few years. I'd heard they'd released a couple albums, but hadn't listened to them.

Jake and I stood in line waiting, and I couldn't help but overhear fans conversations. It was strange to hear fans talk about Taylor.

Isaac had told me that me and my guest could get backstage, so once the doors opened at the venue we headed back to the backstage door. We gave the security guard our names and were ushered back to the green room.

I took a deep breath as we rounded the corner.

The door to the green room was open and I hesitated before entering.

Jake looked at me quizzically.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

I looked up at him and smiled.

"Yeah. It's just strange to think about seeing them again after all this time," I admitted.

It had been 11 years since I've seen Taylor. He totally broke my heart. A girl doesn't forget that. I have to mentally prepare myself.

Jake knew about my past with Hanson and with Taylor. He knew Taylor and I had dated back when we were teenagers and that I had toured with them, and that he was my first love. What he didn't know was how nervous I was to see him again after all these years. I kept that to myself.

He nodded. "I get that. You have a history with these guys."

I nodded. "You could say that again," I muttered.

However, my excitement to see them trumped my nervousness. I took a deep breath and walked into the green room.

I took a look around the large space and saw Isaac and what looked like his wife Nikki sitting on the couch. Taylor and Zac were nowhere to be seen.

Isaac saw me walk in, and smiling brightly, got up and rushed over to me, enveloping me in a fierce hug. I hugged him back, and immediately felt my nervousness fade, and felt completely at ease. Isaac had a way of making you feel completely comfortable. It was one of the things I had always loved about him. He was so warm, friendly and genuine.

"Michelle! It's so good to see you," he exclaimed, letting me go. "Let me have a look at you," he said, stepping back. "Wow, it's been so long."

I smiled back at him.

"It has! It's so good to see you, Ike."

"So how have you been?" Isaac asked eagerly. "I want to know everything that is happening in your life."

"I've been good!' I said, "but how have you been? I'm dying to know everything."

Isaac laughed. "Where to start?"

Jake cleared his throat.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I laughed, realizing I hadn't introduced Jake.

"This is my friend Jake," I said, motioning to him.

Jake extended his hand and Isaac shook it.

"Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you." Jake said.

"Nice to meet you too," Isaac said.

Nikki walked over and kind of hovered next to Isaac. It was clear she wanted to be introduced.

Isaac put his arm around Nikki and led her forward a bit.

"And this is my wife Nikki," he said proudly, smiling at her.

"Hey Michelle!" she said, extending her hand, which Jake and I each shook in turn.

"It's so nice to meet you, Michelle, I've heard so much about you."

"You too," I said, smiling. I immediately liked her. She seemed very warm and nice - just like Isaac said she is.

"Let's sit down," Isaac said, leading us to the couches on the other side of the room. We all did so.

"Do you guys want anything to drink?" Isaac asked.

I nodded. "Sure, what do you have?" I asked.

"Um, lemme see...." Isaac replied, walking over and peering into the mini fridge. "Coke and some beers."

"I'll take a beer," I said.

"Me too," Jake replied.

I looked at Nikki and saw she already had one.

The four of us spent a while chatting and catching up and drinking beers. It was so nice to see Isaac again and to get to know his wife. I told him all about what I'd been doing with my music, living in Nashville with Teddy and Owen. Isaac told me about their new album, the upcoming tour and the beer company they were creating.

Then, without warning, Zac, Kate and Taylor entered the room. My breath caught in my throat, and I cursed myself for my reaction. Apparently, I had underestimated how I'd feel seeing Taylor again. Seeing him again felt like a punch in the gut.

Taylor saw me and stopped dead in his tracks. It occurred to me maybe Isaac hadn't told him he'd invited me. I shot a look at Isaac, my eyebrow raised. He looked at the ground. I wondered why he hadn't told Taylor.

"Hey, Taylor," I said, looking up at him and trying to smile casually. "Long time no see."

I could see a million emotions flash in his eyes, but he soon righted himself and walked over to me, smiling widely.

"Michelle? Wow. What a surprise. Ike didn't mention you'd be here. Come here and give me a hug," he said.

I stood up and obliged. He was warm and smelled good. I was the one to let go first.

"Wow, Michelle. It's been so long. It's really good to see you," he said, looking at me intently, his hands on my shoulders. I allowed myself to just stand there for a moment and really look at him. He looked a lot different. He looked good. He'd aged well. Though it didn't seem possible, he was even better-looking than I'd remembered.

"It's, uh, been a long time," was all I managed to utter.

"It has. What, 8 years?" he asked, still looking at me intently.

I quickly did the math in my head. I hadn't spoken to Taylor since he had broken up with me on the phone in March 2002. I couldn't forget that day. I never would be able to even though I had tried to.

"Actually, technically, it's been 11 years." I said quietly.

"Wow, I can't believe it's been that long. Well, I'm happy you're here. I'm looking forward to catching up." he said.

I nodded and swallowed hard. "Me, too."

Zac cleared his throat behind me. I turned to see him smiling, and Kate standing next to him.

"Zac!' I said, hugging him. "It is so good to see you! You look great. All grown up."

"You too," he said, hugging me back. Kate smiled at me and gave me a little wave.

"Long time no see," she said.

"Likewise," I replied.

"Are you seeing the show and coming to the party afterward?" Zac asked.

I nodded. "Yep. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

I turned with the intention of introducing Jake to Zac, but he was across the room having a conversation with Nikki, so I decided to skip it.

"So, when you do you guys go on?" I asked.

Zac checked his watch.

"About 10 minutes,"

"I'm going to go to the bus to get something," Kate said. "I'll be back once you guys go on,"

Zac nodded. "Okay, babe."

"Nice to see you again, Michelle," Kate said, as she walked out the green room door.

"Yeah, you too," I replied, watching her walk out.

The four of us stood there in a semi-circle, looking at each other. I was struck by how much they'd grown up, and our time on tour all those years ago seemed like a lifetime ago. Despite the time we'd spent apart, I still felt such fondness for them.

It was almost like Taylor read my mind, and what he said next almost took my breath away.

"Maybe I shouldn't say this, but you look really beautiful, Michelle. Like always,"

Zac looked down, clearly uncomfortable with Taylor's comment.

"Thanks, Taylor," I said uncomfortably.

Taylor and I stared at each other. I felt uncomfortable, but wasn't sure why. He had been nothing but warm and friendly to me, and had given me an innocent enough compliment - but for some reason I felt uneasy. Maybe it was the way he was staring at me. I had to break this awkward tension.

"Well!" I said brightly, breaking eye contact with Taylor and looking at Isaac.

"Give me a backstage tour before the show?" I said.

"Sure," Isaac agreed, "Sounds good!"

\---

Later that evening

Michelle

The show had gone really well and I'd definitely enjoyed myself. I'd really enjoyed hearing them play their new music, which was a much more mature sound. I was so proud of them.

After the show, Jake and I had waited for the guys to sign a few autographs with fans before we all loaded into a car and were driven to the album release afterparty, which was at a nearby restaurant.

When we walked in, the party was already hopping; a mob of people approached Taylor immediately. I watched him engage with the many people around him, and was struck by how gregarious and talkative he was. I hadn't remembered him being like that when he was younger. I remembered him being intense sure, but also shy. That was clearly not the case anymore. Now, Taylor was the life of the party. I also told myself that of course he'd changed why was I so surprised after all? He had grown up, and people change. One thing was sure though: he was magnetic. I felt so drawn to him, even after all these years. He seemed much more sure of himself. He caught me staring at him, and looked at me and smiled. I felt my heart skip a tiny beat. I shook my head, and felt bad for the involuntary reaction.

Get a grip, Michelle.

Zac, Kate and I decided to check out the buffet table, while Isaac and Nikki went to talk to what appeared to be friends of theirs.

I was proud of myself for handling this situation well. I had worried it would be awkward seeing the guys again after so much time had passed, but it wasn't. Well, at least it wasn't awkward with Zac and Ike. They'd been so warm to me, I felt like no time had passed.

But I couldn't get that look Taylor had given me out of my head. It was so full of longing and a desire to connect. Suddenly, I had a weird urge to call my husband.

I decided to excuse myself and give Teddy a call. When we were apart we tried to call each other every day to check in.

I excused myself and walked outside to make the call.

"Hey babe." Teddy answered.

"Hi sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm good, how are you? How's the party?"

I had texted him earlier in the day and told him I was going to the show and party.

"It's great. Food's not bad."

"Glad to hear it honey. We miss you."

"I miss you too. Is Owen awake?" I asked.

"No, she's asleep."

"Okay," I said, "well, I just wanted to say goodnight and that I love you."

"I love you too, babe." he replied.

"Talk to you tomorrow," I said and hung up. I put my phone back in my pocket and turned, and ran straight into Taylor coming out the door.

He had a cigarette in his hand.

I looked up at him, taken aback.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." I said.

"No worries," he laughed. "Did you come out to get some fresh air?"

"I called my husband," I said.

"Oh," he said.

We stood there looking at each other awkwardly. I wondered if he'd heard my phone conversation. He lit his cigarette and took a drag.

"So, uh, how is your husband?" Taylor asked casually.

"Um, good," I said. "His name is Teddy."

"Right," Taylor said, "Teddy. I remember hearing that name now."

I nodded. I bit my lip and looked down at the ground.

Boy, this was awkward, I thought.

"How is, uh, Natalie?" I asked suddenly.

He looked surprised I'd asked.

"She's, uh good..." he said, his voice trailing off. "She's not here. She's back home with the kids."

He looked at me intently again. His blue eyes bore into mine.

"How are you? I mean really?" he asked.

"I'm really good," I said, looking down at my feet again. Looking at him in the eye was too much.

"Good," he muttered. "That's good."

I looked up at him and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, thanks." I said.

Then he said the last thing I thought I'd hear come out of his mouth.

"Michelle, I just...wanted you to know how sorry I am about what happened with us. I didn't handle the situation well and I'll always regret how things went down. I just wanted you to know that. I still wish things had gone differently."

Uh, what?

I stared up at him, dumbfounded.

"It's okay Taylor," I managed to say. "It is what it is. The past is the past. I'm glad we can be friends now. I've really missed you guys." I tried to smile but I'm not sure that's the shape my mouth made. It may have been more of a wince.

He smiled sadly. "That's really nice of you to say."

I nodded uncomfortably.

"I really hope we can be friends finally?" he said.

I nodded, "Of course."

He smiled like a child who'd been given candy unexpectedly.

"Great," he said. "I'm so happy to hear that. I've missed you. We all have."

Unable to deal with his intense gaze, I excused myself and went to the restroom. I closed the door and stared at myself in the mirror. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There was no doubt that seeing Taylor again has rattled me. It had thrown me off. I wondered if I could handle being around him.

I hated that Taylor still affected me this way. Maybe I'd been dumb to think that I could just see him again and it wouldn't be strange and awkward and uncomfortable. What I hadn't expected was how bittersweet it would feel seeing him again. I guess I'd underestimated my feelings for him.

Did I still have feelings for him?

I looked at myself in the mirror.

No.

"You're married, Michelle." I whispered. "And so is he."

\---

Taylor

I followed her in and watched Michelle walk away towards the ladies restroom. I stared at the place she'd been standing even after she'd entered the restroom.

"Tay? Are you okay?" I heard Zac say behind me.

I whirled around.

"You scared me," I said.

"Sorry," my brother said. "What are you looking at?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said.

Zac looked at me strangely.

"Oookaaay, well there's a guy over here I want to introduce you to."

I nodded and followed my brother over to the buffet table where Nikki and Kate were chatting with a man in a suit.

He introduced himself but I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was that I wanted to continue talking to Michelle. There was still so much I wanted to know about her. What had she been doing for the past 11 years? I admitted to following her on social media, but that was about it. I knew nothing about her private life, but I wanted to. I knew she was married of course and that she had a daughter. I knew she lived in Nashville. After all these years later, I still felt so drawn to her.

I spent the rest of the evening alternating between talking to people and trying to get her alone again, but I couldn't. She was avoiding me, I could tell. Perhaps I'd been too forward, but I knew I needed to apologize to her. She deserved that.

The party was winding to a close and people were saying their goodbyes. I was worried I wouldn't have a chance to talk to Michelle again before she left.

I'll admit I had had a lot to drink.

I finally saw her over by the buffet table chatting with her friend and another guy. I went over and interjected myself into the conversation.

"Picture time!" I announced, grabbing the first person I saw, handing them my phone, and asking them to take a photo of us.

Without thinking, I grabbed Michelle and pulled her against my chest. She didn't pull away. Her friend leaned in as did the other guy I didn't know and we posed, smiling. The guy took the photo, handed the phone back to me, and wandered off.

All I could think about was Michelle's body on mine, and how good it felt - well, that and how guilty I felt thinking that. My wife's face flashed before my eyes and I cringed.

Michelle looked at me confusedly.

"Why didn't you have him take the photo with your camera?" she asked, and motioned to the camera around my neck.

I looked down at it.

"I don't know," I admitted, but the truth of the matter was I was so drunk I'd forgotten it was around my neck.

Michelle smiled at me.

"Still forgetful I see," she said teasingly.

I looked down at her and was almost overwhelmed by the fondness I felt for her.

"I guess so," I said, staring into her eyes.

"I think Jake and I are heading out," Michelle finally said, shifting her purse to her other shoulder. "It was so great seeing you guys. Really. I'm glad I came."

I nodded. "Okay. Will I see you again?" I asked.

Michelle nodded. "Yeah, someday,"

Then I watched her walk away and out the door and out of my life again forever.

Or so I thought. I didn't know it then, but I would see her again, but it'd be four years later, and under very different circumstances.


End file.
